Tag: storm

Agitation Free – 2nd September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Your shining eyes, not yet shot
With the blood of your tears
The soft smooth skin betrays
The few numbers of your years

No danger found its way to you
Cushioned within a bubble
Innocence not yet agitated
Unaccustomed to dealing with trouble

The decisions made from now
Will show what’s been learned
The love that you deserve each day
Will be the love you’ve earned

Submitted to dVerse OLN #357

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but healthy. I just couldn’t make it up with my alarm and ended up with an extra couple of hours of bad sleep due to aches and pains in my shoulders from my exercise this week. But I got the washing on and have to go shopping and I’m mentally preparing for the stack of shirts to iron. I might even finish the vacuuming that I started last week but didn’t quite complete the kitchen and dining room!

Today I’m grateful for:

The Thai basil plant that Amy planted a few years ago but I was unable to keep alive since she’s been away. However, whilst pulling grass out from amongst the random cactuses we have growing I found a new Thai basil plant growing. Woohoo! I pulled the old one out and threw it over the fence and moved the new one into its place and hopefully, it will survive the move and grow as big. 

The best thing about today was:

A relative feeling of accomplishment. I managed to get clothes washed and dried despite the big rain, though it did add another five shirts to the ironing pile which is something I didn’t get done today. I pulled up some grass and weeds, sorted out recycling, took it to our garage and got a haircut. Got all my shopping done too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was time for my 4 or 5-month haircut (see below) as I’d been hacking at it myself recently and as I sat in the chair for the couple of minutes it takes to roll through my hair with the electric razor a big rain blew in with no end in sight. Ah well, a free shower and clothes wash for my ride home. The mountain rain is cold but the air is still warm so apart from drops stinging my face and blurring my glasses it wasn’t too uncomfortable.

Something I learned today?

By chance, I found an app called Sleepagotchi and recommended it to my sleepy struggling student. It needs a bit of setting up and perhaps a wearable device which I doubt she has but it looks like a more fun way of sleep tracking for teenagers than other apps I’ve seen. I’m trying it out to see how well it works.

What are my top three priorities for this week and why?

Finish grading my students as requested by the school. They’ve only requested to fill in 50% of the scores which is ridiculous as we have to have it all completed soon anyway. Why not just do it all? That’s what I’m doing anyway. As I’ve mentioned before grading is a farce here when no student is allowed to fail and 60% of the class must be graded 3 or more (out of four). 

Pay the electricity bill, for obvious reasons. Though perhaps if someone is reading this in ten thousand years’ time and is unfamiliar with what may then be an antiquated technology, electricity is something that helps us live comfortable lives.

Get my shirts ironed. What a shit priority! Better to say; keep exercising, reading, writing, playing guitar etc. but they are all things I’m going to do anyway.

Take a view from above.

I sit in the hairdresser studying the hair across the floor. A sunburnt old man, probably younger than me is flat, laying back in the chair as the chatty hairdresser slides a cutthroat razor skilfully around his chin. 

A clean tiled floor, two wooden park benches not designed for comfort for customers, and a fridge with a bag of fruit on top. Old dusty fans and faded pictures of landscapes and kings. There is so much dust on the old tape deck that it looks like it hasn’t been touched for years or would even work now.

The ubiquitous plastic chairs badly stacked next to a plastic sink in the corner, dirty from use at weddings, funerals, and dinners. 

The room is full yet sparse with the rotating barber seat really the only signifier that this is a room for hairdressing.

The TV blares nonsensical (to me) words from the corner. An emotional lady talking about I don’t know what. Both the man in the chair and another old man younger than me waiting his turn are glued to the woman now tearing up but looks to me to be manufactured viewing fodder. 

The little ginger cat is not sleeping here today. Where are you sleeping? Or are you chasing mice somewhere?

The stuffy air in here is filled with the hard-working old men’s sweat. Not particularly unpleasant but a positive reinforcement of satisfaction of work done. Lives worthwhile. The open windows and fan are merely feathering the hot heavy air. The stillness is reflected in everyone’s speed. There’s no hurry here. 

Second in line, I’ll sit here happily waiting. I have things to do but they’ll get done when they get done.

I love the utility of this place. A room is only a hairdresser’s when there is someone cutting hair, otherwise, anything can happen here.

Am I nostalgic for poorer days, a voyeur into a past I escaped? I remember the days of make-do and mend and pulled myself sideways to avoid it. There is a sense of community in the struggle that no longer exists for those of us who found bootstraps to pull. The values of freedom and independence are a privilege that often finds us struggling still. 

Remembering that the best part of the journey is what you find on the way and not what you find when you arrive pushes us onwards.

Let’s not be nostalgic, not be complacent. Let’s struggle more. Let’s revel in our simplified suffering. We are not facing life and death whilst simultaneously facing a slow life and death.

The woman on TV’s voice is quivering again and it’s my turn to get my hair cut.

I took this picture because this tells Amy exactly where I am and what I’m doing.

No More Shiny Things – 25th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

What is left to be pursued?
The bigger, brighter things have faded
Realising that there’s nothing new
Has made us all become jaded

No longer entranced by shiny things
It’s all been seen and done before
A mind that’s closing sooner brings
Death knocking at your door

5th Oct 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – pursuant

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and good! I slept early last night and ended up waking a little earlier but as it was still dark I tried to get back to sleep and when I finally got real deep into it again the alarm went off.

I pushed and struggled through exercises telling myself how much better I will feel afterwards. My arms and legs ache at the joints from all the extra work they’ve been doing but ultimately my body feels more together and capable. I can only imagine how I might feel if I had treated myself better in my teens, twenties and thirties.

In my early thirties, I started going to the gym after work and then straight to the beach to bodyboard. I always felt great after that but rewarded myself by drinking. One step forward, one step back.

Today I’m grateful for:

The nice taxi driver that took drunk Amy home from the city this evening. It reminds me that most people are ok.

The best thing about today was:

Messaging with Nong Mee and getting an update on how she is doing as I rarely see her these days. She is the girl who swallowed a bunch of pills last semester. She said she is doing better and that even when she feels down she knows both myself and some of her friends are there to support her. I was heartened to read that and happy for her too.

Something I learned today?

I read in Derek Sivers’s book Hell Yeah Or No that our beliefs and understanding of the world are based on our location. 

Obvious, true, but the point was that when you go to foreign places, the people there grow up with their own set of beliefs and understanding. Rather than take the approach that our way is best we need to unlearn our own beliefs and accept different ones. 

Even knowing your way is better it’s not appropriate to try and change something blatantly. Gradually, exposure on both sides will find some kind of agreement.

I know I struggled with this when I started teaching in Thailand. Of course, I want to improve things for the lives of those I’m teaching. I no longer think I can do that with words but rather through actions and just being.

Quote: Day by day, what you do is who you become. – Heraclitus

I guess it’s obvious. But when you are in the middle of being you, and always believing you are right, the obvious becomes obscured. 

Since my late teens, I became less confident in the things that I knew. Doubt crept into everything. 

For a long time, I considered myself a fence sitter, often admiring those who held strong beliefs. Now I have come around to the fact that the fence is often the best place to be. The wind can blow in different directions. Whilst there may be universal truths everything else is always up for debate.

How did I practice stillness?

I’m going to say that I practice this when I’m reading. I know my brain is still active but I am usually focused within the story, almost out of body.

Even when I do meditation my brain struggles to calm though I do generally feel less stressed after. I know it’s a matter of practice. I don’t think I’m in a state of stress that requires me to counter it with converted efforts towards stillness really.

I took this picture because after I finished my class around 4 pm I ended up playing volleyball with Nicha and one of the boys and got soaked with sweat as there is no cover in the playground at the moment. The sun kept appearing through the broken clouds along with the already high humidity. Nicha joked about how cold she was when I tried to block the sun with my hand. I didn’t even really cool down in the aircon of the car on the drive home and the house was already stinking inside so I tried to cool down with a shower but even that was a struggle. Then, seemingly suddenly, it got dark and proceeded to rain heavily non-stop for about thirty minutes resulting in all this water sitting on top of the soil under the trees, the ground already too waterlogged to soak up more. The rain has calmed down a little now but is still coming down with no sign of it stopping just yet.

Vicarious – 20th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I’m a mafia, a ninja
A beauty pageant queen
A killer, a lover
Not what I seem
I’m a prisoner, running
The drama in a dream
A thriller, a horror
Lived out on a screen
I’m a wolf, a soldier
All I want I’ve been
A housewife, a salesman
A life lived so clean
I’m a target, a comedian
Laugh until you scream
Anything I ever wanted
Is what I’ve always been

13th Apr 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Coffee is the fuel this morning as I struggle to get going after feeling some pain in my left hip throughout the night.

But ‘get going’ is relative as today I plan to do little beyond watching the football.

And that was one intense game of football which has weirdly seen us through to the finals as opposed to Geelong, last year’s winners unable to make it. It’s been a great turnaround but I don’t see us being able to make the grand final this year.

Today I’m grateful for:

The shirt that I ordered for Hayden arrived here safe and sound. I’ll try it on for size and then order a couple for myself some time too.

It was weird that some of the shirts are in stock in Australia but the shipping to Thailand was cheaper than shipping within Australia!

The best thing about today was:

Catching up with some reading, books and comics. Choosing to read instead of watching TV. It’s not easy because there are lots of things I like to watch but I’m finding that I’m neglecting reading because of it. I usually get my ideas from things I read rather than things I watch.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I hung out the washing even though dark clouds were brewing. I mistakenly trusted the weather forecast of no rain. An hour later a huge storm hit drenching everything. Oh well, they’ll dry today I thought, but today the sun barely broke through and whilst some of the lighter things managed to dry everything else was still wet or damp and will need to be washed again. There’s another ten days of rain due so I may actually have to go the laundry to use a dryer.

Something I learned today?

Things I haven’t thought about for a while are a little bit of a struggle to recall these days. I struggled to recall some manga artists’ names this evening, artists of which I paid lots of dollars for the work at one time in my life, so they had a deep enough meaning for me for a while. I did eventually figure out the names through a series of online searches but still, I worry about nonsense going into my head pushing out all the good stuff.

If I had to describe myself using only five words, what would they be?

Sometimes I think I’m ok.
Sometimes I make mistakes too.
Friends can be far away.
I do what I do.
No excuses for doing wrong.
My life means nothing anyway.
Always trying to understand myself.
There’s often little to say.

I took this picture because although Tigger can fit into the shelf under the table, for some reason he felt more comfortable with his butt sticking out like this.

Met In A Maze – 26th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

That day of heartbreak set me on a path
I learned how easy it was to hurt others
And through the maze of time and people
It would be my turn to torture ex-lovers

Then it took another decade or two
To undo all the hurting done
That started with that one broken promise
Perhaps long forgotten by some

Now worlds away from each other
We all found our way down different paths
If we stumbled into each other’s dreams
Would they be full of our cries or laughs

Wishing things were different always held us back
We never knew better at the time
There’s a little piece of you in my head
That I promise will always be mine

2nd November 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – happy chance

Today I’m feeling:

A better sleep that wasn’t long enough. Pushed through an ab workout that I didn’t want to do. Feeling positive and content though I will stir further into action once I get some coffee, otherwise I could quite easily just fall back to sleep if the opportunity arose.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting home and finding all my shirts ironed by my lovely wife. I had been putting it off because it’s too hot, even to do it sitting in an air-conditioned room. I’m also grateful to find out today that tomorrow morning there is some event for one of my classes so that I don’t have to teach them.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s dinner. I came home hungry and Amy knocked up a delicious fake duck chilli jam, Thai basil stir fry that every single spoonful was scintillating down to the last one and even writing about it now is making my mouth water. To top it all Amy went out to meet her friends so I had a chance to bash around on the guitar for an hour or so which made me happy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I fell asleep before writing anything here. Handled by writing this tomorrow morning.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Noey in 2/6 is disliked by most of her classmates although I couldn’t quite figure out why. Jet said it’s because she is lazy and always causes the rest of the class to have to wait for her to finish but I think there are worse offenders of that than Noey.

In general, how do I feel about how my life is going right now?

I think life is going pretty well. I’ve gotten used to the change of rhythm with Amy being back so when she is back in October more permanently it should be fairly easy to settle again. Amy is talking about her business plan so I’m glad to hear that. If that happens it would feel more settled for the future. Our health is reasonably good, our cats are old but in good condition. Our little family is doing okay.

I know yesterday was an old cloud picture day but I took this picture because this looked like it would brew nicely into something that cools down the evening. It was dark and I was playing guitar loudly by the time it hit and Cap ran under cover under the desk at the first peals of thunder and then static crackled through my amp with every flash of lightning. By the time I finished playing the storm was done and any coolness brought didn’t seem to make any difference as the humidity just increased. The rice field was ploughed last weekend and will soon be filled with a sea of green seedlings.

Different Worlds – 14th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

When I walk by the river
Do you see what I can see?
Catfish jumping, catching cats
Elves flying from tree to tree
I see elephants tugging boats
The waters are dark and deep
Fireworks fired from the sun
Dreams of which my secrets keep
Do you see sparks flying?
Feel the love of the farmer’s daughter?
Here’s a dose of the real world
Found within this water

Perceptions, real or imagined, are all valid.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. No class this morning because of the Japan Day event in the morning so teachers are running around preparing things and students are running around playing cosplay or slinking off to find a quiet place to sleep. I think what they are doing doesn’t teach much but I try to forget that and get into the spirit of it. It’s hot, humid and everyone is sweaty already. My students already asked me to skip class this afternoon but I think we can do a little bit just for fun.

(Later) It was so hot and running around to the temple and the crematorium, back and forth to school all wore me out so I fell in line with the kids and told them the class was cancelled and I came home. As I was driving back a nice storm cleared the air, though I had to quickly get to the gutter to clear all the leaves I found blocking it yesterday. Nothing like an emergency to galvanise one into action. The storm is long gone now though and the sun returned to torture us more.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Hobby coffee shop which Gui recommended me to try as House is closed today as he goes to Bangkok for a coffee festival. The barista at Hobby used to live in Melbourne and his coffee is good but lacked the kick of taste I like. Maybe he has a dark roast I can try when I go back later.

(Later) I’m here now and forgot to ask! Another time. Off to Boom’s funeral.

The best thing about today was:

Amy is about to board her flight to Chiang Rai and in a couple of hours she’ll be back here complaining about how hot it is. It will be good to annoy each other in person again! And kiss, cuddle and comfort too.

(Later) And now I’m at the airport again waiting for her and it doesn’t seem quite real. Everything changes, everything is the same.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Some of my students from the class on Tuesday were grumpy with me because I complained to their homeroom teacher so much. When I ran into them today some couldn’t resist the urge to come and chat and play with me and likewise, I always feel happy to see them, especially outside the classroom. They are good kids just bad students. They’ll figure it out given time and hopefully not too late.

Something I learned today?

A US presidential candidate has called for an end to NATO arguing that it has continually broken its own charter and is making the world a more dangerous place. I did not think it would sell in America but the rest of the world seems to agree.

What are some of my favourite things?

Amy surprised me with a new iPhone so right now that is my favourite thing.  Tomorrow it won’t be though. It will just be a phone, a little better than the one I was using before. 

Maybe Amy is my favourite thing. Most days.

I took this picture because today is Boom’s funeral and all his biker friends came to the crematorium to see him off. After his body went into the flames they revived their engines and tooted their horns for a minute.

Secret Stairwell Reader – 12th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A library for escape
Away from toxic adolescence
Give me a book, a cure
Ten-minute convalescence
A silent conversation
With Kurt, Leo or Tim
Sudden shock discovery
Stirs something within
Where I fell in love
Every day, every page turned
Caught like a naughty child
A secret found, unearned
This secret isn’t yours to share
Find your own stairs to sit
Fall in your own love
And be satisfied with it

inspired by the story here on the Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Tired from lack of sleep. Slept well but just not long enough. Hopefully coffee gets me going.

I was having a very nice dream this morning but it was suddenly interrupted by what seemed to be a handsome TV presenter with a gleaming smile. He looked at me sideways and then gave me a wink and a knowing smirk. And my alarm went off!

Did I almost cross over into the Matrix? A glimpse behind the curtain? I actually laughed as I turned my alarm off. It felt like some sort of comfort.

Today I’m grateful for:

Teaching the grade 10 kids first this morning. Even though their English isn’t good, their maturity at least makes them more manageable to teach. They still have concentration issues when it comes to phone management issues. I can’t help but feel that letting them have their phones in class is going to affect them badly in the future unless our societies turn into 5-second functions where they might be ahead of the game. 

I think these kids will be in for a rude awakening or have already accepted their fates.

The best thing about today was:

A big beautiful rainstorm from low black clouds as I was driving home. Our poor rusted guttering couldn’t cope with the deluge and I may need to make another venture up onto the roof to see if there is anything blocking it. If there’s not it just means there’s too much rain too quickly to even take care of.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As a follow-on from yesterday’s annoying class, I spent much of the day chasing up lazy kids, offering them help several times and making myself available, all to little avail. Less than half the students bothered to do anything. When the online quiz deadline passed I advised their homeroom teacher again asking what she could do about it and she just said she’d tell them again. She doesn’t get it either. The work for my class is no longer the issue. My two-hour lesson shouldn’t end up as a twenty-four-hour helpline. I asked again what she is going to do to stop them from wasting everyone’s time. I’m not expecting any answer.

Something I learned today?

Chatting with David, he is also frustrated with his classes and the student’s lack of understanding. I do take it as a challenge for me to find better ways to engage the kids but it is exhausting when they are just not interested in developing themselves at all. I think David will quit soon.

When was the last time I felt at ease?

I feel at ease most of the time if I consider it carefully. Sure I can let my classes wind me up but I’m mostly wound down again the following day even if I’m still thinking about it. By that point, I’m thinking up solutions and not getting emotionally caught up in it anymore. I’m not letting things overwhelm me like might have happened in the past.
It is still a rollercoaster of being totally on during the semester and then totally off during the holiday. That transition does feel weird.

My student, Wipping, took this picture because she asked me to smile but I pretended to be upset that she wasn’t working. This picture captures my internal feelings in class sometimes. 99% of the time it remains internal and I have also never hit anyone with that stick. It is actually my remote control for the projector on the ceiling.

Upside – 31st May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s so precious to see you smile again
Stepping down from the chair
Panic may still grip the heart at times
But I know you’ll still be there

The promises the liars gave you
Cheated your belief into ease
But reality hits like a punch to the gut
And your dreams just become a tease

Let’s go forward together into the dark
There’s nothing that can kill us
We’ll turn apathy upside its head
And only love will ever fill us

Inspired by a student I helped get to the psychiatrist, take some meds and get counselling. Still suffering anxiety and a tough life, it definitely made an impact to see a face that hadn’t smiled for a long time.

Today I’m feeling:

Very good. Got up earlier, my back was still stiff and sore but did a workout and meditation. I enjoyed all my classes and had a good time with students outside of class too, though it is ridiculously hot and everyone is complaining. They still run around playing volleyball, some still with jumpers on and begging me to come and join them. I tell them to wait until winter.

Today I’m grateful for:

Some of my students energetically fanning me with their homemade paper fans or now, many students have little USB fans, some that hang around the neck and they let me borrow them. It’s better than dripping sweat on them, though it is barely enough to cool down!

The best thing about today was:

The fact that I can’t think of anything, in particular, to put here but that I had a very enjoyable and happy day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Again, there’s nothing really for me to add here either. Any minor things that felt out of control were easily subdued and dealt with without any drama.

Something I learned today?

I’ve been occasionally checking out videos about classroom management and getting students’ attention back and I often come across some good ideas but then forget about them completely. Part of this is because my two new classes this year are much better behaved than the ones who started last year (though I came to love them all somehow). There are still a couple of disruptive students but in a class of thirty that’s fine. Last year about half of each class was disruptive. Er… so what have I learned today? Umm.

What is one thing I learned about myself this month?

I can bounce back. I can keep going without (much) complaint. I can find the positive. Have I become an optimist? Not quite. I don’t think I’ve ever been really pessimistic except in the throws of depression. I think I’m more of a realist which is casting an optimistic view over pessimistic situations.

I took this picture because I’m hoping that this is the beginnings of a storm tonight.
Later – there’s rumbling and a light show but it seems like it might be circling around elsewhere.
Even later – everything disappeared.

Dead Skies – 9th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

No movement, no promise
Woke up tired again
The sky has gone grey
Dead and uninspired

Today I’m feeling:

In the morning I was feeling pretty happy. We had a Songkran ceremony blessing the director (or he was blessing us, I don’t know) and folks were having fun splashing water around. I got home around midday and, despite three coffees, I’m starting to feel sleepy as these early mornings are catching up with me already. I must resist the urge to sleep though.

Today I’m grateful for:

My former teenage self for reading books. For some reason, I never really thought of myself as a reader. When I was young it took me a long time to finish a book. On going through my diaries from 1983 and 1984 though I can see that I was reading a lot more than I thought. I can even remember the feeling of reading certain books though the story has long gone. I always saw my mum reading so I guess that influenced me more than I realised too. I surprise myself – when I think about it.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling pretty good at school with all the other teachers for the ceremony. I was able to do some online searching for lesson ideas on my phone whilst they did all the Thai speeches. The atmosphere was pretty positive despite the heat. My shirt was wet with sweat even just sitting still.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This was actually last night though the result was this morning. Last night was the roughest storm so far and it ripped up another sheet of our roof over the entertainment area. It rained so hard and heavily that the gutters overflowed and in the garage, the water was overflowing into the underside of the roofing though thankfully not into the rooms (from what I could tell anyway). There were even hailstones pounding against the windows. I found the damaged roof this morning and wondering how we can fix this.  There’s nothing much that can be done about the weather except to know that it will happen again one day. Thankfully not much was damaged that hadn’t already been in last week’s storm.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video arguing that English shouldn’t be compulsory in Japanese schools because very few students succeed in learning enough of it. They were arguing that it wastes time for those students who are more interested in learning something else. It made me wonder about Thailand.
My friend Fui,  who I often see in House, always talks about education here. He has sent three of his four kids overseas to study knowing just how bad it is here. He agrees that students should be failed and be held back a year as other countries do rather than just passing everyone. Thailand must look good on paper but the only people it is fooling is themselves.

What is going well in my life right now?

In general, I can’t, or shouldn’t complain except right now I don’t feel particularly enthused about anything much. That will change I’m sure. So, really, everything is going well. I’m very lucky.

Pavlov’s fish. I took this picture because these fish are in the pond outside the cafe at school. Were they there before? I don’t remember. Their reaction to me leaning over to take a picture was to beg for food. Sorry fish.

The Brave Soldier – 4th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The Brave Soldier

No amount of wishing
No amount of tears
Will bring you back to me
I have no choice
I must face my fears
Moving on soldierly

The Soldier Brave

I always told myself that
It was you and me against the world
But in reality, it was only me
We stood together
Until we fell apart
Now I must soldier on, bravely

Today I’m feeling:

Feeling ok. I’m not convinced enough to say feeling good yet. As Amy feels recently, it’s difficult to have fun, to laugh, to smile, and to feel good.

Today I’m grateful for:

Not falling through the roof when I got up there again to try and reset the damage from last night’s storm. The wind was so strong again that one of our trees now bends in a different direction. Just as I’m writing this tonight’s storm has arrived though just rain at the moment, no wind to test the roof. We need to pay someone to come up with a better solution in the future.

The best thing about today was:

I’ve been enjoying the Bad Friends podcast on YouTube and getting into its rhythm of humour. It feels like a little celebrity gossip show and the hosts get annoyed at superficial first-world problems. It’s making me smile enough to remind me what it is like to make light of your own problems no matter how big or small.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I fell into a deep afternoon nap for more than an hour and I’m worried that I will be up late again tonight, force myself up early again tomorrow and then be tired again in the afternoon and the cycle continues. Still, this is tomorrow’s problem.

Something I learned today?

I watched some videos of folks reviewing the latest AFL video game. It looks ok though I don’t think it would be something I would play these days. Even with all this free time for the last few weeks I only played for a couple of days and that’s it. The thought of playing is interesting but the reality, not so much.

What does happiness mean to me?

Just now I was playing guitar as best I could ( which is terrible, but I don’t care) to Volcano Suns ‘Room With A View’ and singing along as loud as I could. I felt pretty happy in that moment.

I took this picture because I was greeted by these guys as I opened the gate this morning.

No Readers – 26th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Just a recording, a memory
A gentle nudge to remind
One day in the future
I’ll look back and find
No readers were here to see
What these words meant to me

In another time and place
Some comments will be made
Either an idiot in the making
Or a compliment to be paid
Either way, it’s all good
And no readers misunderstood

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired. I’ve been waking up before my alarm, though unable to stir myself out of bed, as my mind is slowly getting around the fact that it’s back to work again next week. I’m starting to feel the stress and tension, my mind anticipating obstacles in the class. Self-preparation for self-preservation.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to park illegally at the airport as no one cares that much about it. It’s surprisingly busy here even though it’s 8 pm.

The best thing about today was:

I struggled through getting my head around a lesson plan and how, when and why I would use it. At least I could do this whilst sipping good coffee and watching people coming and going. I pushed on until finished and was quite happy with the result in the end.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It seemed Runa was going to stay around the city rather than near home so figured I wouldn’t need to pick her up at the airport but then she called just before getting on her flight and asked if I was ok to pick her up and that’s ok with me.  Runa is never on time for anything and it’s already 29 minutes after her flight has landed. I can imagine her still sitting on the plane trying to get organised to get off. She cracks me up but I don’t need the drama that comes along with her chaotic life.

Something I learned today?

Again I don’t feel like I really learned much useful. I watched Netflix and comedy on YouTube. Trying to keep my mood up rather than go deep into anything.

I took this picture because all our different frangipani trees are blooming. Big bunches of flowers get blown off in storms but each year there’s more and more. I love to see old frangipani trees. Ours are still young but I hope to see them old one day.