A Loose Grip On Reality – 30th July 2024

The eagle’s wings spread far
Its shadow cast, deepest black
Blood squeezed out of every inch
Caught in its talons attack

The broadness of its grasp
Concealing the fragility of its grip
Let loose the dogs of war
As their domain starts to slip

Verbal giants become action dwarfs
They must grow or they must decay
The coming end is inevitable
The story always ends this way

USAsian foreign policy, anyone?
22nd Aug 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – grip


Today I’m feeling:

On the edge.  I felt good at forcing myself up and exercising this morning.  Could feel my lazy body enjoying the move and stretch.

The weather today is very English and ordinary (a little warmer than in England of course). Dull, grey and spitting light droplets of rain.  The dim ambience is straining my tired eyes and as I pulled up for a couple of hours at House with coffee I suddenly felt tired and run down.

Hopefully the coffee picks me up for what should be a relatively straightforward day of classes today.

Today I’m grateful for:

The bakery shop next door to House where I could pick up ingredients for Amy as her first batch of cookies had failed due to too fine a sugar for the mix.

When I got home and tasted them though, they were the best so far but I could still understand why she wasn’t happy with them.

The best thing about today was:

Sitting on the terrace in the egg chair this evening after dark, with Tigger on my lap and rain tap tap tapping down through the canopy of leaves and flowers growing over the entertainment area.  The temperature is finally bearable and I’m even wearing a t-shirt tonight, though I could just as easily not do too.

Anyway, it was only a few minutes but I savoured them immensely.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was frustrated with Program (and Kwang) in my grade 8 class and asked him to leave after telling him to sit down on about ten different occasions.  He tried to convince me that he was going to behave, but unfortunately, he can’t help himself and will just get up and disturb other people.

As I had said I would kick him out if I had to say his name again, I felt obliged to ensure that he left but he refused.  So I told the class to just sit and say nothing until he left.  He gave it a good go for about five minutes but Kwang eventually convinced him to leave and I carried on teaching and the class was great after that.

Kwang soon got up and asked to go to the bathroom, though and that was the last I saw of her too.

I didn’t let any of this bother me in particular; just wanted to put my foot down.  We have fun in my class but there are limits and they need to understand what is acceptable and what is not.  It’s a little sad because Program and Kwang are capable students.  They just lack maturity and guidance.

I talked with Kru Karn again later but she was just as frustrated with them as all the teachers complain about them to her and she doesn’t know what to do.  She doesn’t understand why they are still in school as their points in our SchoolBright system have fallen below zero which generally means that they are asked to leave.  Kwang’s current score is now -125!

Thankfully, my second class (grade 10s) was much smoother.

Something I learned today?

We have a new teacher teaching English.  Her name is Sasha and she’s from Indonesia.  She told me that she remembers me from visiting with the exchange program students last year.  Her English is good and clear.

It made me wonder who is employing her and how much she is getting paid.  I don’t think she speaks Thai, so I’m not sure if she is included as a Thai teacher and will be asked to do all the things that they have to do, too.

Anyway, I told her to ask me anything if she had any questions.

29th Aug 2025 – I’m guessing she must have only been teaching here temporarily as I don’t think I saw her again!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Today is Nicha’s birthday and I wished her well but I could see that she and her friends may have been expecting something more.  

A little later, I popped around to the cafe and bought her back a slice of chocolate cake, for which she was very appreciative and came and gave me a hug.  

She’s a good kid. I hope that she finds her place in the world and that it is a good place.

Someone took this picture because these students of mine spent the weekend away doing some kind of activity. Sadly, 4 of them decided not to come to school today and missed my fun movie class. Sad for them anyway…

She Is Waiting – 26th July 2024

She is the lone wolf
Waiting for the summer mist
To rise from the forest floors

Her thoughts are her own
Serving no masters
Comfortable in quietude

Ears alert to opportunity
Sniffing out the rats
Deadly silent stalker

She is the lone wolf
Waiting

Submitted to WDYS #246 and dVerse Quadrille #204 – summer
26th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – stalker


Today I’m feeling:

Tired still and not particularly excited for my classes, knowing that many students will be missing for various reasons, disrupting my plans.

I got up ok this morning but feel a lack of energy and my eyes are a little blurry still.

Onwards we must go!

Today I’m grateful for:

A bit of a chilled, busy day due to circumstances described below.  I’m still pretty tired at the end of the day but was expecting to feel much more exhausted after six hours in class, then dashing home and soon out again to the airport to pick up Amy.  I’m looking forward to sleep but also feeling satisfied with the day.

The best thing about today was:

Falling into the rhythm of the day with only 14 out of 35 students turning up for my first class.  The rest were mostly off doing projects and special meetings.

As the class was due to do presentations, this has to be delayed until next week.  I figured I’d try to do some pronunciation work with the few students in attendance and settled on a 90-question Quiz about the pronunciation of past tense ‘-ed’ verbs.

At the start, everyone was quite competitive but with so many questions, once they started to understand the rules for this grammar point, they all started deliberately choosing the wrong answers to wind me up.

Suitably satisfied I stopped the quiz halfway and let the kids relax for the rest of the time.

And so it went on, in my next class, about 8 or 10 students were off doing something (which luckily I heard about yesterday and had prepared for) and I did a really simple reading, translation and quiz with the predominantly J-Biz program students.

I even managed to dash off to House for a quick coffee and writing catch-up before my final class with grade 8s and a tough reading challenge for them.  I was pleasantly surprised at how well they handled it.  Not with the quality of their reading but the fact that they’ve become accustomed with doing what I ask and feel comfortable that I will assist them.  It’s a win as far as I’m concerned.  If they can’t improve their English, at least their attitude to difficult tasks will improve.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been a little frustrated with waiting on covers for the SpeechOdd/High Voltage split 12”, which Parthiban arranged with Talib in KL.  Talib has been out of contact for a few weeks now and I’m sitting on a stack of currently unsellable vinyl until I get these covers.

There’s not much I can do and Parthiban is also frustrated and decided not to work with Talib again.  Hopefully, the situation resolves soon.

Something I learned today?

I read an interesting piece about how Buenos Aires was richer and more culturally advanced than any other American city in the early 1900s until the Great Depression, followed by a series of political missteps, which saw it lose its status.  There was even a phrase, ‘To wish to be as rich as an Argentinian!’

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Even after my long day of classes, I dropped in on Kru David’s grade 9 class and helped Nicha, Yurin and Tankoon to understand what was required.  It felt good to help them and they showed their appreciation with their thanks.

I took this picture because Freya didn’t understand why I was saying ‘Sadako’ when she was fixing her hair, so I put the picture up on the screen and made her stand there too.

Big Cats – 17th July 2024

Would you cheat the tigers of their worth?
The voices of the dead claim a friend
Hasty to join the march towards oblivion
Bad blood bullets hold a message to send

Bless the big cats in a natural ceremony
A scent on the breeze of the savannah
From the city smells, to our sandy shells
The ringing of bells will cry ‘Hosanna!’

Submitted to Shay’s Word Garden


Today I’m feeling:

OK, though not particularly up or down.  I pushed myself this morning with a full body workout and am waiting to see how my hip reacts, especially as I don’t have a class until 2.30 pm today so I’ll be sitting a lot until then.

Today I’m grateful for:

That Cap ate all his breakfast this morning as he woke us up in the middle of the night, hacking up a hairball.

The best thing about today was:

Helping out in Kru Numnim’s class again in the morning and being able to take the time to help some of the poorer students with their learning and understanding.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I feel a little down this evening and I think it is because I’m thinking too much about our education system here in Thailand. When I see some teachers in their classes, I just don’t understand what they are doing. They are wasting their students’ lives!

When I ask students what they learned today and they say ‘nothing’ I try to get them to understand that they should be angry if that is truly the case.

It’s a struggle some days!

Something I learned today?

There is an app for Makro where I can see what they have in stock. Amy showed me today as I went there on my way home and was once again disappointed to find that they were out of stock of my favourite yoghurt.

Now I can just check the app before going.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Iphone asked me for some help with wanting to be a buddy for future exchange students and I gave her some advice on how to find out more about what is required.

His Highness.

My Journey – 15th July 2024

A boy that was born English
With depression he could not extinguish
Accepted his fate to relinquish
– Leapt into the unknown

Then a man of Australia
Who could not accept failure
Yet failed to modify his behaviour
– The journey was only just starting

Finally to the land of smiles
He overcame all his trials
Accepting all his different styles
– It was the journey, not destination

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 56 – accept


Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad.  My hip is only slightly sore now, and I think I got it from spending too much time sitting in the cafe on Wednesday and Thursday last week.  I don’t think that it was from exercise so much, though I’m still wary of starting up again, and so skipped it this morning.  I will start again tomorrow and see how I go.

I was a little dizzy this morning until my medicine kicked in, and I felt pretty good by the end of the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The folks doing the new road again, as they put in some extra concrete to join up with our driveway, which we were expecting to have to do ourselves.  I’m not sure how good it is yet as it is still covered, but it will be better than nothing and cheaper than use having to pay to fix it up.

The best thing about today was:

I had back-to-back one-hour classes with my grade 8s this afternoon, and I was pleasantly surprised at the second class who can the most rowdy at times.  Within five minutes of setting them a writing task, they were quietly completing it, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

As they completed the work, I told them what we would do on Thursday when they would read the tex,t and they listened attentively so that they could write out some pronunciation in Thai to help them remember.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the morning, I had to walk over to auntie’s house where our car was parked due to the road work, and Tangmo wandered over for a cuddle, rub and snack.  His back was wet and there was a sudden smell of cat shit and I was sure that I must’ve stepped in some.

Even after getting in the car I was looking around for cat shit, wondering how a cat might’ve gotten into a totally locked car.  Then, as I was driving along, I smelled my hands and they smelled of some sort of horrible chemical, like a mix of paint thinners and petrol.

The bad smell must’ve been a mix of dirty dog and whatever the dirty dog had been rolling in.  After arriving at school I avoided saying hello and fist bumping students as much as I could and headed towards a bathroom to wash my hands and make sure that I hadn’t sat in cat shit somehow.

One wash helped, but it wasn’t enough. I took a second go at House and started to feel a little less self-conscious.

Tangmo came to say hello again when I got home, and he still stunk to high heaven.  I hope it is not having too much of an effect on him, as the smell is positively cancerous.

Something I learned today?

Today will be the last that I see of my grade 12 HAP and E-sports students for this semester.  It’s a shame, as I had a fun class lined up for them next week.

I took this picture of Ploy because she was bullying me as I was on my way to class.

Champions – 12th July 2024

Julius Drost

Champions know the taste of defeat
Aces burn on the last turn
Adversity is needed to complete
The winner’s desire to learn

Plans B and C, as good as A
No best case wins the race
The champions turn up to play
And look their failures in the face

There’s no luck to lift the cup
Making a plan to play the hand
Even when dealt downside up
A champion will understand

Submitted to WDYS # 244 and inspired by a recent David Elikwu newsletter


Today I’m feeling:

A bit groggy, perhaps sick, in pain!  I didn’t sleep well because of the pain in my hip and I’m limping around a bit today.  It’s a bit of a drain on my thoughts.

I’m also on the edge again with a sore throat.  Lots of Covid and dengue fever around at the moment.

It’s cool again with some rain but the grey skies are feeling uninspiring.  I’m motivated to sleep more.

Today I’m grateful for:

The young chemist who spoke good English helped me get some tiger balm patches to help my aching hip.

The best thing about today was:

22 Grams coffee for the morning. Gui closed House today to go to Bangkok, so 22 Grams is my next choice. It would be my first choice if it was nearer school and cheaper. 

In the end, I didn’t stay too long as I came to the hospital to drop mum and pick up Amy, who hadn’t slept much as dad didn’t get into his operation until 11pm and out again at 4am.

I came home and struggled around with my painful hip, which seems to be agitated by sitting down.

Something I learned today?

It’s Spain’s birthday today and he told me that he is now 15 years old, which means that he is a year older than everyone else in his class.  I guess that he was held back a year at some point because of whatever his minor social disability is.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

At around 5 pm I was getting hungry and Amy had mentioned the uni having a market on Fridays now. 

I dropped by to Baipad’s to see if she would practice riding up there and though she complained, I convinced her to do it. She lets her lack of confidence stop her from doing things to improve herself. 

Her sister jumped on the back too and we slowly made our way to the uni but there was no market sadly, so we headed back and then Baipad wanted to show me where Fahmai lived and we went there too but he wasn’t home.

At the end of the day, I think that Baipad gained a little more confidence in herself at least hopefully understanding that repeatedly doing something will improve her skills.

Baipad’s chatty kitten, whose name I’ve forgotten already.

Mandala – 10th July 2024

Wild chaotic geometry

Vague approaches to symmetry

A universe in the hand

Reintegration as planned

Womb world thunderbolt

Ritual sensory assault

Burning up ignorance

A ring of fire confluence

Diamonds in illumination

Aspects of individuation

Graveyards to lotus leaves

Here the mandala conceives

Inspired by the image above for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #337 and a quick perusal of the online Britannica entry for mandala.


Today I’m feeling:

A little bit tired and unmotivated.  With no kids at school for the rest of the week I have lots of time to read, write and prepare more lessons but now I’m sitting here in the cafe I kinda just feel sleepy!

Amy had a sore throat a couple of days ago and mine is starting to tickle a little bit too.

I have to go to the dentist at 11.30 but hopefully it won’t be too expensive and shouldn’t need any work done.

Today I’m grateful for:

A decent, long downpour which has finally seen the temperature become more bearable.  Ironically, I’m not at school to enjoy it and everything will be back to scorched and sweaty by next week would be a pretty good guess.

Still, it was nice to feel the cold rain on my skin when I was outside looking around the garden.

The best thing about today was:

My phone being ok (see below) and also the dentist telling me everything was looking ok and them cleaning up some plaque for me.

I wasn’t too surprised when the bill was 800 baht, so I sent through the payment via my phone but then the receptionist realised that she had given me the wrong invoice and that, in fact, today was free of charge.  So she refunded me in cash!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy sent me across from the cafe to get some cookie bags from the bakery and I was leaving my phone fell out of my pocket and something happened that has made it difficult to use.  I’m hoping that it is nothing too big and expensive to fix but it will be a further strain on my budget this month.

(Later) I managed to restart the phone and everything was back to normal which is something else that I’m grateful for today.

Something I learned today?

I’m learning lots of little pieces of interesting information from my grade 12 kids with their oral diary.  

Beam told me that he is really interested in human behaviour and psychology and wants to study that at university.

Blow And Crash – 9th July 2024

A vile legion, no alkaline vial
A third eye opened up to show
The first two burned out and bled
Soon forgotten, supposed to know

A toot of one’s own horn
I found myself getting in touch
With beauty scarily sublime
It overwhelmed, too much

As skin returned from blue
The views up there began to fade
Stirred up in a sandy wave
To crash on the beach I made

It’s not these orange-tinted glasses
Or butterflies flowing from my gut
Reality was just a ‘barely hanging on’
Out of my mind, a door slowly shut

Submitted to No Theme Thursday and the attached picture as inspiration.


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. An easy start and a relatively simple first class with my grade 8s.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to quickly rearrange my afternoon class so that everyone could finish early.

The best thing about today was:

Getting home by 3pm and though it’s a bit of a negative, I lazily watched TV rather than getting anything done.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My second class was supposed to be at 2.30, but a few students had told me that because other teachers were away, they had nothing to do until then.

So during my first class, I was thinking how to start at 12.30 instead so that everyone could finish early.

I decided to go for it and messaged them to come at 12.30 and we would find a classroom to study in.

It was only a little later that I realised that I had forgotten that this class is made up of students from two different programs, and one had classes until 12.30, which meant that they would miss lunch by coming straight to my class this time. 

I thought I’d smoothed it over because I knew that they wouldn’t actually study until 12.30 and asked them to quickly grab lunch whilst they could. 

The class went well and we got it all done in an hour, as the room was due for another class.

Later, I heard that the two groups of students were quarrelling about this change of plan, so I had to try and smooth things over. Though I also found out that this was not just about what happened today, but an ongoing situation between the two.

Something I learned today?

Burmese armed resistance are financing themselves by flooding Thailand with cheap drugs, causing a moral quandary for those who support their fight for (supposed) ‘democracy’ there.

Somehow, I never come across these cheap drugs!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I watched all the students preparing for the drama competition and personally wished each of them good luck for the next few days. Lin, Jet, Namyen, Guitar, Noah, Poppy, Achang, Alew, Wipping, Palm and a couple of others. I dispersed all my coins to them as they begged for spending money while they are away. I think that cost me 17 baht in total!  I hope that they have a good time because they have been working hard on this play.

I took this picture because these are my old students, Aoey, Pleng and AimAem rehearsing their speech for their competition. Unfortunately for them, they couldn’t stop themselves from laughing when I started taking pictures and holding my hands as they were. As with my other students, I wished them well and to try their best.

The Wild World – 8th July 2024

We live alone
Our relationships symbolic
Resources for production
Or a backdrop for healing

A miracle of blindness
Debasing all else
To second-order existence
We live alone

A massive fiction of things
The wild at the margins
An intellectual sleight of hand
Of us versus them

Ignorant of our nature
Domination the goal
Trading in certainties
At a bloodied altar

Denying our relationship
We live alone
We are the pandemic
In a wolf head mask

It’s business as usual
Caught in the weave
Dualistic blindness
We chose to live alone

Possessing the wisdom
The germ of a solution
Future archaeologists found
We died alone

Inspired and borrowed from Dan Ray at Philosophy Now’s review of Ways of Being Alive by Baptiste Morizot


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good, though I feel like I’m overheating.  Not sure if something is going on in my body or it’s just leftover from pushing myself with exercise this morning.

Today should be a relatively easy day at school and hopefully I still feel motivated when I get home and play some guitar.  I totally lazed away the weekend and though I don’t feel guilty about it, I still know that I should be doing stuff.

Today I’m grateful for:

Only five students turning up to my first class.  They didn’t know where everyone else was and assumed that they were taking the whole week away from school, as from Wed-Fri, they are not at school and supposed to be studying online.

I played a Quizziz of each student’s choice for the first hour and then let them go for the second two hours of our class, so I’m back early for more coffee!

The best thing about today was:

The extra coffee time that turned out well, as I got a couple of nice poems written after doing a bit of reading and thinking.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another one of my pens went missing today during my class with 2/7.  I’m fairly certain that it is Program who is taking them as he is always trying to steal things out of my pocket, never has his own pen and always walks around the room and near the table when I am not there.

I may be wrong but I’ve got my eye on him.

Something I learned today?

As I had some spare time in the morning, I ducked into the grade 10 English class to chat with some of the students I knew and whilst there, Kru Ren came in to teach.  He didn’t do anything to try and get the students attention and seemed to be just shouting to no one, as everyone else was either on their phone, playing games or making TikTok videos.

I just don’t get how that is going to work.  But what was weird was that meeting some of the students a couple of hours later, I asked them about the class and they were able to talk about the subject fairly coherently.  Maybe it got better after I left, or Kru Ren decided to teach in Thai rather than English, so that at least he would be understood.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I stayed back after my last class to talk with Praew some more.  I think she is a little bit of an attention seeker in some ways and I’m not totally sure what to believe.  With her anxiety, depression and being bullied in class, it is sure to mess with her behaviour.

Scattershot – 5th July 2024

You made them, baby boys
Conceived in a sweaty room
Forgotten fruit left to rot
The urge to run too soon

Scattershot bonds stretch
Heated passion, spoiled seeds
Helpless baby boys flailing
Without the direction he needs

You made them, baby girls
Breeders, they can’t stop breeding
Pretty pink unkissed lips
Rushing towards the seeding

Scattershot, the TV dreams
Promises whispered or unspoken
Babies make babies cry
So all the boys and girls are broken

Submitted to FOWC with Fandango and inspired by my experiences teaching wild and untamed students already on their sexual journies as their young parents are missing in action (for various reasons).


Today I’m feeling:

Good again.  I pushed through the tough exercise again this morning, feeling breathless and sweaty by the end.  Amy has been sound asleep in the mornings for the last few days and in the evenings I’m usually asleep well before her.

I enjoyed my first two grade 11 classes this morning and just have a reading class with the grade 8s this afternoon and it’s the weekend again.

Today I’m grateful for:

My student, Beam. In the task I set his class yesterday of sending me an oral diary telling me what they learned that day, Beam told me that he really enjoys my class and learning things from me. 

Whilst he is smart enough to know how to butter someone up I believe his sincerity. It felt good to hear and encourages me. I will return that encouragement to the class.

The best thing about today was:

… (As I’m writing this on Saturday morning, I don’t feel that there was one best thing about yesterday. The day was pretty good all round until I ran out of energy, and as I’m still not fully recovered yet, it is clouding my memory of yesterday a little too.)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In my last class, I could feel my energy giving out and was glad to end it a little early and then head home.  I revived briefly with some dinner, but by around 7.30 pm, I was crashing badly and melting into the lounge, mindlessly watching TV.

Amy tried to revive me again before sleep, but ended up disappointed, and I was asleep an instant later.

(I didn’t even have energy to complete writing here and doing it now on Saturday morning)

Something I learned today?

Praew told me that she will leave our school at the end of the semester because of her unhappiness, and on further investigation, she told me it was because she was bullied in our class. 

I thought maybe this was by her old friends, Nudee and Ueang, but I was surprised to learn that it was by KanomBang. I hadn’t seen this at all.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I sympathised with Praew and her situation.

She Is Beautiful, They Said – 4th July 2024

Somehow, she deals gently with her blues
A feathery kind an introvert would choose
All told her that she is beautiful and smart
She counters she has no confidence at heart

A common theme for sure, though this poem is about one student of mine in particular. I could have gone on writing but I think I managed to sum it all in these four lines.
Submitted to WDYS #243, Writer’s Workshop Prompts – counter, Word the Day Challenge – introvert and Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Feathery blues


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. I got up and exercised, the 20-minute video workout again, not feeling quite as strained after finishing this time.

Once at school, Baipad, Apple, and Ploy were excited about a new game, and I also later downloaded it and played a bit tonight to see what it was all about.

It looks really good, but trying to follow everything on the small phone screen just makes my eyes ache.  I can’t imagine what it is doing to children’s eyes, with them playing for hours on end.

After my morning coffee time, I had the pleasure of teaching the grade 12 kids, who are getting more into what I’m teaching them and also doing quite well.

With my younger kids, their blank stares usually indicate no understanding, but the older kids’ blank stares are them thinking!  Part of my class today was about showing enthusiasm in their conversation.

Today I’m grateful for:

Not teaching my second class as the classroom was in use for next week’s competition preparation.  I assigned the students some writing work to keep them busy for a little while, and was able to skip out an hour earlier than usual.

The best thing about today was:

Having the grade 12 students use the website that Kru Tang told me about today, and seeing the happiness on a few of their faces when they achieved relatively good scores testing their speaking.  

I will get them to test themselves each week, and hopefully they will be able to see their own improvement over time.

Something I learned today?

Parents have complained to the school that the teachers are not teaching their classes because they are too busy preparing for next week’s competition, just handing out worksheets instead.  I think the parents would complain even more if they actually saw what goes on in the classrooms!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Spain turned up for class even though I had given them some writing work to do.  He ended up following me around the school as I went checking up that the kids were doing their work.

Spain is a funny kid.  He was some form of something or other, I wouldn’t like to say what, which seems to affect his social skills. With me today, though, he was nonstop talking, and I was quite impressed with his English skills.  He struggles to make friends because of the way he is, but deep down, he’s a nice boy with a good heart.

Tonaor took this picture because she saw me passing by and shouted ‘selfie’, and everyone else came running out.  From top right: Fah, me, Mei, Tonaor, August, Namthip, Namkhing, Nicha, Dena. Sadly, after three years of being in the ‘Talented English Program’, they can barely speak any English between them! Somehow, we’ve been able to bond and communicate with each other, though.