As the summer days came by, drifting, my demeanour grew more uplifting; I took to sitting upon the sill, to occupy the sunshine’s gifting.
Long gone the air of old winter’s chill, April showers and softening still; the harshness of all those darkest nights; open the window to dog days thrill.
Ever changing, yet familiar sights, somehow, the world now set to rights, Lee and Nancy, with their velvet song, saw me shine under the bright stage lights.
The future mine, I could do no wrong; angels of innocence kept me strong; yet now, the window, open too long, the chill returns, and my hope all gone.
Nancy her deep blue eyes watch me from the cover first stirrings of teenage dreaming beauty
During the summer, when I was 11 or 12, I would sit on the sill of my bedroom window with the window open to the birds and my imagination. I would imagine that I was the next Lee Hazlewood singing along to the whole of the Lee and Nancy album and hoping that I would be talent-spotted by any random passerby, of which there were very few as I lived in a remote countryside village. Not helped by the fact that I would duck away in shyness if anyone ever did come by! I was also a terrible singer.
I remember this album cover clearly and was sure that Nancy Sinatra had blue eyes! I can still see it in my mind!
Tired still and not particularly excited for my classes, knowing that many students will be missing for various reasons, disrupting my plans.
I got up ok this morning but feel a lack of energy and my eyes are a little blurry still.
Onwards we must go!
Today I’m grateful for:
A bit of a chilled, busy day due to circumstances described below. I’m still pretty tired at the end of the day but was expecting to feel much more exhausted after six hours in class, then dashing home and soon out again to the airport to pick up Amy. I’m looking forward to sleep but also feeling satisfied with the day.
The best thing about today was:
Falling into the rhythm of the day with only 14 out of 35 students turning up for my first class. The rest were mostly off doing projects and special meetings.
As the class was due to do presentations, this has to be delayed until next week. I figured I’d try to do some pronunciation work with the few students in attendance and settled on a 90-question Quiz about the pronunciation of past tense ‘-ed’ verbs.
At the start, everyone was quite competitive but with so many questions, once they started to understand the rules for this grammar point, they all started deliberately choosing the wrong answers to wind me up.
Suitably satisfied I stopped the quiz halfway and let the kids relax for the rest of the time.
And so it went on, in my next class, about 8 or 10 students were off doing something (which luckily I heard about yesterday and had prepared for) and I did a really simple reading, translation and quiz with the predominantly J-Biz program students.
I even managed to dash off to House for a quick coffee and writing catch-up before my final class with grade 8s and a tough reading challenge for them. I was pleasantly surprised at how well they handled it. Not with the quality of their reading but the fact that they’ve become accustomed with doing what I ask and feel comfortable that I will assist them. It’s a win as far as I’m concerned. If they can’t improve their English, at least their attitude to difficult tasks will improve.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve been a little frustrated with waiting on covers for the SpeechOdd/High Voltage split 12”, which Parthiban arranged with Talib in KL. Talib has been out of contact for a few weeks now and I’m sitting on a stack of currently unsellable vinyl until I get these covers.
There’s not much I can do and Parthiban is also frustrated and decided not to work with Talib again. Hopefully, the situation resolves soon.
Something I learned today?
I read an interesting piece about how Buenos Aires was richer and more culturally advanced than any other American city in the early 1900s until the Great Depression, followed by a series of political missteps, which saw it lose its status. There was even a phrase, ‘To wish to be as rich as an Argentinian!’
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Even after my long day of classes, I dropped in on Kru David’s grade 9 class and helped Nicha, Yurin and Tankoon to understand what was required. It felt good to help them and they showed their appreciation with their thanks.
I took this picture because Freya didn’t understand why I was saying ‘Sadako’ when she was fixing her hair, so I put the picture up on the screen and made her stand there too.
I lay down and try to breathe Because I can’t feel my wings Why did I wake up this way? Am I paying for my sins? What’s the cost to going mad? I’m hollowed out inside I want this curse lifted off me I want my wings, I want to fly It’s been a long time Being, a long time
Quite relaxed and happy. I was excited to go for a little bike ride, my psyche somehow understanding that I needed to be out in nature, getting some Vitamin D and picking up the green light reflections of the fields and jungle.
Today I’m grateful for:
My old student Praewa. A couple of weeks ago she posted a picture from outside her house and I recognised it as a place not that far from where I live. As I had planned for a bike ride this morning I figured I would head out in that direction towards the river, east from home, and drop in and say hello on the way.
When I messaged her though she said she wasn’t home but to come and find her where she was. She sent me a map and it wasn’t far away from where I was heading anyway so I figured why not.
I found out that they have a grocery shop at their house and there was some kind of fun sporting event for kids going on and Praewa’s mum had set up a stall to sell refreshments.
When I got there I finally found them and it seemed like the whole family was there – mum, brother, auntie, grandmum and great grandmum! I declined the offer of a beer, it was still before noon, though that didn’t stop Praewa’s mum from starting already!
I had a look around and in another stall, two students yelled out my name. I don’t teach them but I recognised them from saying hello around school. Then I spotted another student I know who was partaking in the event on the track. She is always friendly when I see her but usually not excited or showing too much emotion but today she was laughing a lot as the race they were doing was a team event where the first in line had to pull on a big pair of baggy knickers over their clothes, run up the track and back and then swap the knickers with the next in line.
Her team won and they were happy. When I went to say hello she was very surprised to see me there. I congratulated her team.
The next thing I knew, Momo was walking past with some snacks. I caught up with her and met her mum. I asked Momo why she wasn’t competing and she said she didn’t want to be there but her mum forced her to come.
Finally, Cream came and joined Praewa and they took off to the bouncy castle slide. They are still 14 or 15 years old but I don’t think either of them is even 5ft tall so they can still get away with playing on such things. I bid everyone farewell and thankfully my bike started ok and I rode off around the place feeling happy to see what some of my students get up to outside of school and grateful that Praewa invited me to come.
The best thing about today was:
Riding to newer parts of the valley with a deep blue sky directly overhead (not so much on the horizons) and waterlogged paddies reflecting that, dotted with bright young green rice stems. I took a moment to savour it all.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I planned for a bike ride this morning after coffee but the bike isn’t starting. I’m sitting here in the sun for a minute hoping that it will warm up the bike and that it might magically start. Otherwise, it means wheeling it to the shop which is manageable but not what I’d planned for. Any costs to fix it are going to be painful too.
Thankfully, I finally managed to kickstart it and let it run for ten minutes before heading out.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I reminded myself to message Ploy to ask how she did on her test today. She said she felt confident which I’m glad about.
I took this picture because this young corn was so green. I’ve enjoyed running through cornfields, back in England, during the summer there, alongside the river Stour. It felt like a strange freedom, hidden from view in a minor trespass.
I am so happy and grateful for the cool evening changes in the weather. It was already hot and humid at 9 am yesterday and aircon was quickly utilised but by 5 pm a cool mountain wind blew in a small storm that made being outside more bearable. I enjoy being outside but here it is often just too hot to be pleasurable during these summer months.
Woke up today with huge indecision about the future. Last night Amy and I discussed what we might do in the future and whether we are happy where we are at this time.
Amy’s reverse culture shock has been getting her down a lot and she is itching to go back to Australia – whether just to visit or to make more long term plans. She says once her parents have passed that she has no compulsion to stay in Thailand.
Combined with news that our school’s budget has been cut and we will have to teach more classes, containing more students, it’s a somewhat depressing look ahead. I would be happy not to work at all. I can ‘be’ in any place or country and the advantage for me here is that I don’t necessarily have to work, whereas in Australia it would be a must just to survive.
The current plan is that Amy goes to Australia for 3 to 6 months once there are less travel restrictions and I carry on teaching (or perhaps stop – to be considered) and then when Amy returns we start doing some sort of business on our land and see how that goes. If that keeps us both happy, then we stay and if not then maybe we have to decide to pack up and think about our options in Australia.
I started this post with these pictures of the summer garden taken a couple of weeks ago, but bigger thoughts have taken over. Let’s see how our garden grows.
Our mulberries have gone mental this year – everyday I can pick a new bowlful.These tall branches reaching into the sky now have so much fruit that they are bending to touch the ground. I don’t know if this needs to be cut to grow differently or if it’s best to just leave it the way it is.This Jacaranda currently has more flowers than leaves. Our four Jacarandas all seem to flower at random times throughout the year. I just hope that they can live and survive a lot longer and grow as big as the ones in Australia. Love these trees.This is a weird bush, plant, tree (?) that reminds me of fractal theory – it looks like each ‘branch’ separates off into two and on and on.
24th Mar 2023 – The plan I discuss above is still in progress. Amy will have been in Australia on and off for almost two years by the end of this year and will come back then and again consider doing some business on our land. Things are a little more normalised after the 2 or 3 years of pandemic restrictions. The mulberries are going crazy again this year too. I wish the sky were as blue today as it is in these pictures. Today’s AQI is 224 (Very unhealthy).
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for our wheelbarrow. Yesterday I used it to move a whole heap of rocks to the other side of the garden. Without my wheelbarrow, this would’ve been a real pain. I’m also grateful for our big shovel too. this helped me get all the rocks into the barrow. They are both bright orange – like lots of garden equipment here in Thailand.
The best thing about today was getting a gift from Am and Tee. It’s just a mug but I liked Am’s explanation for choosing it.
I taught Maeve online again tonight and that was really a pleasure – she’s a bright and enthusiastic learner so time went quickly.
I tried to practice guitar after that but somehow my fingers and brain aren’t quite connecting. That happens sometimes. If it’s not coming together after ten minutes, put it down and try again tomorrow.
I am so happy and grateful for my new clean summer sheets. Last night we changed from our winter bedding to summer bedding and the sheets and doona were so soft and smelt so nice. Combined with post-shower talc and a cool breeze coming through the window I felt so good in bed last night.
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