Tag: sun

Counter Melody – 17th August 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A harmony made with a push
The string welcomes the bow
Complimentary or alone
Compensates for what we know

A combination of careful ears
Sing along or start your own
When no one hears the tree fall
The counter remains unknown

Today I’m feeling:

Positive, perky, alive. Under that, I know I’m a little tired and could enjoy more of the good sleep that I had last night. A busy day has passed happily at school. Now for a chill evening.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Rocks soda water that can be left in the fridge opened and still be fizzy after 24 hours. It seems suspicious to me! How is it possible? It’s good though because it’s so fizzy I can’t drink a whole bottle in one go.

The best thing about today was:

Pushing myself through two exercise routines this morning (abs and chest) which got me going. I feel like I need to push a little bit extra at the moment as I put on a little weight recently. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I took everything in my stride
With a confidence I couldn’t hide
When things wrong
I just played along
Using the skills I’ve learned and applied

Something I learned today?

I saw one of my old students (Sun) today and barely recognised him. I hadn’t seen him around for about six months I guess but in that time his face went from a boy to a man. That’s scary. Some other students have barely changed in three years. It is a privilege to be able to watch them grow.

Which reminds me, yesterday I wrote about August’s birthday and today I saw her in a class and wished her a happy birthday. She was shocked and surprised that I knew. I think it made her happy.

How is my life different from how I thought it would turn out?

Holy shit, my life is totally different than I thought it might be. 

Up until meeting Bronwyn, I didn’t really have any idea about what I might end up doing. I was looking forward to a life of dull drudgeful depression in the UK and had no vision to escape. 

Thankfully, fortuitously, meeting Bronwyn helped me find a way out that even though was still rudderless, set me on a path of discovery.

I never wanted to get married and ended up marrying three times, though if it wasn’t for visa requirements, I likely wouldn’t have married at all.

I never wanted children but Hayden came along as a happy surprise.

These days I don’t feel quite the need to push my life in any particular direction as I’m content with where I’m at.

Jet took this picture because she took my phone to take selfies and asked me to join in. Jet and Fah are two of my favourite students. Though both have wildly different personalities they still also can’t help acting their age of 13 or 14. They are smart and funny.

Put It Together – 24th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Forever putting ourselves back together
Is the method to make ourselves stronger?
Grief tears us apart and still, we rise
To travel dark paths no longer

Today I’m feeling:

Tired from lack of sleep though still happy and content. Struggling to concentrate whilst lesson planning. Eventually napped whilst listening to music.

Today I’m grateful for:

Our purifier and being able to stay indoors in an aircon room with it cleaning the air. The pollution was so bad this morning I couldn’t see any mountains, not even the nearby ones at the university.

The best thing about today was:

Laying out our folding bedding in the living room to have another option to sit and lie when reading or watching TV. Because it isn’t thick it felt good for my back, for a while at least. I ended up stuck there for most of the afternoon and evening, falling asleep and then sucked into The End of the Fucking World TV show which was enjoyable for its odd English quirkiness.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I snoozed my alarm three times this morning and when I finally got to the kitchen I found the kettle sitting in a pool of cat spray which I quickly cleaned up. As I was going to bed I followed a line of ants marching into Amy’s room, turned on the light and found more cat spray on the floor and fan! Handled with a sigh. I’ll clean it up tomorrow.

Something I learned today?

I saw a couple of wild videos about San Francisco and teenagers fighting in shopping malls and then wedding photographers getting held up at gunpoint whilst working and getting their stuff stolen – happened to different photographers at another park too, and then more videos of cars and vans being looted. The wild west is still wild!

If I could do anything, what would it be?

I’d like to…. I don’t know. I feel like I can do anything. If I think existentially I wonder about living my life again knowing all the things I know now but I feel that there would be downsides to that too. Eliminating one set of frustrations would likely just lead to another. If I think about something like jumping out of an airplane well there’s not really anything stopping me from doing that.

Ok. I’ve got it. If I could do anything, it would be to be able to teleport.

I took this picture because if you look closely you can just about see the sun setting. It’s amazing that the light and heat from it can travel millions of kilometres to reach us but then struggles to make the last little distance to Earth because people are burning the fields everywhere.

The Dark Empath – 9th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

He understands me
Says the right words to care
He says he loves me
But hides something not to share
His true intentions
Are on cards held close to chest
He uses my feelings
To ensure he comes out best
He compliments me
Yet somehow his words feel fake
He always points out
My every little mistake
Always a people pleaser
To get everyone on his side
The power rises against me
I have nowhere left to hide
I meet his needs
Through his mental manipulation
And he walks away happy
From every situation
His use of guilt
Always bends toward his will
Once I am discarded
He’ll be doing it still
He uses humour
Everyone laughs at his jokes
But it’s me on the receiving end
Of his vicious little pokes
He whispers lies
In believable words of deceit
His crown never slips
He already has me beat
And it is no irony
I recognise myself in him
That’s how I spotted
The dark empath within

Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

Franz Kafka

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to not lie in this morning, get up and see a fierce red sun in the sky.

In The RV – 21st December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The power’s gone out
And there’s snow on the roof
So begins the test
If you are living in truth
There’s no heat now
Time for another sweater
“The sacrifices are severe
But the rewards are even better”

Inspired and quoted by interviews with Christmas tree sellers in New York at the Cafe Anne newsletter
11th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – sweater

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see the almost full moon on one side of the sky this morning, followed by a red sun rising over the mountains on the other side of the sky.

I didn’t sleep well on the 19th (Fui told me there was an earthquake and that may have woken me up.) and skipped school, not that I would’ve had much to do anyway with kids at home. Still, a couple of them sent me their work, which made me happy.

I spent most of the day reading comics in bed, which was excellent!

In the afternoon, I dropped over to Bruno’s and we went off for a good walk that took me over 10,000 steps for the day and I felt pretty good after that. I unloaded a lot of complaining on Bruno. He knows and understands the kind of things I’m going through with school. He listened sympathetically whilst we took a trip around the hilltop village near where Laetitia used to live.

I would like to do more walking, especially in these cooler days but my dodgy feet are holding me back. I should go and get them checked out at the hospital – see if the insurance gives me any cover for that.

25th Sep 2025 – I still haven’t done this!

I was pretty down at the weekend. Post alcohol malaise, I think, and I’m a little worried about when Amy is not here. She helps keep me steady and motivated at times like these.

I’m sitting in House at the moment and feeling a little anxiety as there are many things I want to do and I feel like I’m rushing things. Not teaching the kids online (and just assigning work to complete) has definitely made me busier as I spend more time following up on them. Oh well, I feel like I’m doing the right thing. Time to make calls for my next class.

We got that attitude! – 28th March 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the big rain a couple of nights ago which meant we didn’t need to water the garden yesterday. Today I will be grateful for the 41-degree temperature and sunlight that will inspire our plants and trees to shoot up. Balance of nature – power for a long time – longer than I will be alive.

Sometimes, days off start with many possibilities but then by the end of the day, you wonder what you did. My morning and afternoon were happy – watching Sydney play well in the AFL, winning the game, working out in the morning, reading and drinking coffee, eating a beautiful buffet lunch at Le Meridien.

But I can tell Amy is in a feisty mood – inspired by the elections that are happening today. With her grandmum not well and her brother being a typical uncommunicative and uncaring person – all this makes the words out of her mouth in the negative – and even if they may not be, I am reading them that way because it has become the norm.

Some days I can deal – usually just by shutting up, but today, this evening, I just wanted to lock myself away. I picked up my guitar and after a few days with no practice played worse than before – got myself frustrated and into a funk of my own.

I did a bit more exercise and that brought me up a bit but now I’m going back inside the house and out of hiding here in my room. Let’s try to be positive.

We got that attitude! – 24th November 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I have approximately 10,000 days more to live. What are two or three principles you want to live by over these days?

3 principles I would like to live by for the rest of my days? What principles do I live by now?

One principle I have always tried to maintain is to try and be open-minded and understanding of other points of view. At the same time, I would like to be confident enough in my ability to be able to clearly express any point of view I may have.

I have often been contentious before, sometimes just to play devil’s advocate. I should be more understanding of other people’s beliefs and ideas, maybe learning where they come from, rather than rejecting them.

I find I have a fascination with Islam due to not understanding it enough or having the familiarity with it. An exotic religion if you like. Having grown up in a Christian country I can see how dull and rigid its dogma is. I have no doubt about Islam’s dogma but still find it fascinating.

So, #1 – the principle of an open mind.

#2 – Related to #1 is to never stop learning and growing. Doing the opposite leads to a closed mind. Thankfully I’ve grown to enjoy learning more about how the world works as it helps me learn about myself.

#3 – This one is a tough one. To not take offence and get and get angry when someone makes a personal attack on me of my work. Let it do. Don’t let it bother you. This means they have won.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful today for the clouds! Taking the edge off the insane heat. I’ve been standing in the sun a lot this past week as the kids had sports every afternoon. It was such a lot of fun to play with them that I accepted getting burned as part of the deal. Maybe time to invest in skin whitening cream!