The Fountain Spring – 26th August 2023

Longing for those days again
Joyful plays in the sparkling sun
No matter the winds of change
You gotta grow up some

The spirit is the fountain spring
Forever trying to stay young
The mind and body know
You gotta grow up some

If the balance is off-kilter
There’s something to be done
Innocence cannot remain
You gotta grow up some

Keep the energetic wide-eyed sparkle
Everything will be fun
Don’t forget, at the end of the day
You gotta grow up some

wishing for more shiny things


Today I’m feeling:

Slow and achy. Slept for ten pretty good hours and woke to some aches and pains from my exercise this week. Push through again next week. Make it normal. No real plan for today beyond hanging out the washing and maybe vacuuming. The most stress will be deciding what to eat.

Today I’m grateful for:

The brief sunshine this morning that got my clothes 90% dry before a quick rain shower happened and I had to quickly drag it all inside the kitchen to get completely dry.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to Eat Avery’s Bones whilst phasing in and out of lucid dreams.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Napping from about 4-6 pm kinda messed up my eating plans as I felt so tired that I would sleep again soon, so I didn’t want to eat a meal. I’ve been snacking all day instead and just about to get back into bed. I can eat tomorrow.

Who do I need to thank?

I generally thank everyone at the required moments in time. I don’t think I have anything in the past that specifically requires thanks though I could reaffirm my thanks to many people for their little slices of influence on me over my lifetime.

I took this picture last weekend because, on our bike ride, we came across this garden area that looked like it was being renovated. It’s on a main road but not a busy one and I’m curious who is likely to pay to come and look around here.

Grasp – 29th July 2023

The future is heading faster towards me
Time is running out to get things done
But what exactly is it that I should be doing?
I must be serious but want to have fun

When did I stop enjoying my life?
I can’t remember when I last laughed
Satisfaction always seems beyond my reach
No matter how many times I grasped


Today I’m feeling:

I can’t say it’s been a good day but my feeling has slowly brightened since its beginning at least.

Today I’m grateful for:

The security guard at Central who didn’t move me on from waiting in the car outside the entrance whilst Amy ran in to get lasagna sheets for cooking lunch tomorrow. Thanks, dude. I saw you doing a great job moving barriers for the VIP car owners.

The best thing about today was:

A big sushi dinner in an odd little family cabin space near the city. What it lacked in amenities, atmosphere and Japanesness was made up with good tasting food. Makes me want to go back to Japan though. Nothing beats the real deal.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After Baew and Mee had gone last night I helped Amy clean up the room not realising they had broken a glass and I had just walked barefoot through its remains. Luckily no damage done. Amy and Baew had managed to get through three bottles of wine and they both looked droopy-eyed and worse for wear.

I went in for a shower whilst Amy stayed a bit longer to clean and listen to music. After I finish my shower Amy appears with a bleeding foot, presumably from stepping on some rogue piece of glass. But she’s also annoyed that I didn’t answer her calls from the outside room to come and help. I hadn’t heard her calls as I was in the shower so not much I could really do about that. She didn’t quite see it that way but angrily told me that she was fine. So I went to bed, I was so tired by now. 

In the morning I woke up and Amy wasn’t in bed and didn’t look like she had been. I went around the house and outside and the car was also gone! I called her mum but she hadn’t heard anything. I jumped on the bike and went around to her friend’s houses nearby and around the hospital car park looking for our car but no sign. 

When I got back home the gardeners had arrived adding to the confusion. Stranger still, Amy was in the kitchen doing the washing up.

Asking where she had been I couldn’t get a straight answer but her foot seemed to be fine. 

By now I was starting to feel wound up and angry. I didn’t know what to do. I took some deep breaths and tried to calm myself. 

Often in situations like this I’ve found that just carrying on as normal and not showing any emotion will help so I asked Amy if there was anything she wanted me to do today to which she said no so I said ok, I’m going for coffee.

This first coffee tastes very bitter.

Something I learned today?

I really am badly affected by the lack of sunshine. It gets me down more than it should. I wonder if I don’t get enough sunshine even when it’s sunny because it’s too hot to be outside. 

Anyway, these last two cloudy days have made the temperature more hospitable. I contemplated sitting in the hammock but still working my way up to it, preferring to sit in front of the TV instead for now.

I took this picture because the avocado tree is proving to be a battler after being brutally cut down by our gardeners.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #53 – 29th August 2020

NO MORE BABIES!

This week there’s music from Built To Spill, Doo-Dooettes, Tangled Hair, Records, Man Man, Institute, Bob Drake, The Playn Jayn, Sea Monkey See, Godzilla Black, Human Cabbages, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, Billy Childish and the Black Hands, Seam, Funkadelic, The Who and The Wipers.

Intro and background music by Utotem.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this beautiful sunny Saturday morning filling me with happiness.

But did it really turn out bad? – 29th June 2020

Madness – Baggy Trousers on the brain box. George mentioned them last week.

What was my dream? I remember not being very happy about something. I want to sleep more. Beautiful clear day today bright and sunny but not hot yet. Eaten by mosquitoes. Amy’s birthday – she got sad-drunk last night after her parents had a fight discussing their property and who it should be willed to. Amy feels her mum loves her brother more than her and has felt that for a long time. She said I was lucky to be an only child. Maybe.

Itchy itchy – mini workout. Work my way up. Dentist today and need money! Eat and drink – go out tonight – not sure yet. Itchy itchy everywhere. Meditate it away.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a sunny morning, time to wash clothes.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #22 – 25th January 2020

Music from Aksak Maboul, North of America, The Milkshakes, Lungfish, UXA, Tipographica, The Cramps, Ex-Models, Magma, Cicala Mvta, Cicatriz En La Matriz, Trick Cigarettes, Neutral Sons, Karminsky Experience, Undertones.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the sun this morning. It’s cold again so sitting in the sun feels good on my face.

In order to live at all one must come to terms with non-living.

Analysis of Levin, Anna Karenina

To-do list

  • Record new TCRAH ✅
  • Go to the gym in the morning
  • Try to pick Amy up
  • Visualise and review the day hour-by-hour
  • Spent time enjoying the room ½

Today got derailed somewhat as Amy and I had a minor fight before Amy even got out of bed. She wanted to talk about my passport and it being delivered by DHL to Chiang Mai. I know this is on her mind but trying to think about serious things may be better done after getting up and being more prepared for the day.

This start left us both in a bad mood and I felt unmotivated to do what I had planned. After coffee, I had thought to go to the gym but just by chance, it was closed anyway.

We both picked ourselves up a bit by lunchtime but I felt a sort of relief to not be thinking too much about my daily challenges and practising more philosophical ideas.

Even though I enjoy the weekend teaching I am starting to feel a little like a machine. I’m not exhausted by it but would like more available contemplative time.