Tag: Sydney Swans

Nothing You Say – 28th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In the game, I’m in the zone
Flowing beyond all your shouting
Laser-focused on the ball alone
Oblivious to all your doubting

There’s nothing that you contribute
Because you have nothing to lose
Distraction is your foremost attribute
I’m strong enough to ignore the boos

You don’t have skin in the game
So you have nothing I want to hear
Everything said is always the same
My silence sends my message clear

Inspired by a David Elikwu thought that applies to those friends who always think that they know best.

Today I’m feeling:

Quite well rested though my body is still sore from exercise. I only did seven minutes for two mornings and my body is really feeling it. This is a message to get back to a routine and rebuild some strength. Now that I’m almost out of this weird illness, I’m feeling positive about it.

I’m also a little tense this morning as I wait for the AFL grand final to start! Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if Sydney wins or loses but I do enjoy supporting my team and being part of this little tribal dance.

One thing I love about AFL is that, despite the rivalries and shit-talk, there is no real aggression between supporters. Once the game is done, it’s done.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Takky for keeping Amy occupied for the afternoon and evening. They are screaming, singing, dancing and singing in the living room whilst I try to concentrate on reading!

The best thing about today was:

Lots of comic book reading. Shadowman, 2000AD, Judge Dredd Megazine, Justice League Dark and especially enjoyable was Ekho, a fabulous European fantasy adventure.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Well, it appears that Sydney, once again, forgot to turn up to play the last game of the year and it was all over by half time, after which I soon tuned out, went to bed and fell into an afternoon nap whilst reading comics.

Another season over. It was a good one in general.

Something I learned today?

Finally, the cheap London Town shaving cream is available online again so despite having already bought other expensive options to try, I ordered a couple of cans to keep for the future. I hate shaving. So boring!

Baitoey took this picture a couple of days ago because… I don’t know why but I go with the flow.

No Refunds – 20th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Bread and water are all that’s served
At the Epicurean diner
300 dollars for the wisdom observed
But no wine for the whiner!

Inspired (possibly ripped off) by Existential Comics 552

Today I’m feeling:

Dizzy and tired still, though a little better mentally.

I think I’m understanding a little more about why I’m feeling the way I am mentally.

My routine involves teaching and writing and those both keep me in the now. Whenever I’m not doing those things, I have been updating my blog or watching things relevant to my past ie. nostalgic.

Due to the flooding and school being closed, my routine has been upended and I haven’t been doing things that have kept me rooted in the now and way too much thinking about the past.

This has got me contemplating too much about things outside my control. Perhaps it was sitting for hours (in the now) at the hospital yesterday that has brought all this into focus.

So, now aware of this, I can think about how to improve my thoughts and situation.

I slept ok until some point in the night I had indigestion and then remembered that I had drunk two bottles of soda water in the evening, something I know will get my guts rumbling when I’m lying down to sleep. I’m a slow learner.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

To the student in the shop who read the staff with my shopping list (see below).

The best thing about today was:

Sydney beating Port to make another grand final. I managed to listen on the radio, which is certainly not exciting at all and really difficult to follow but at least I was able to keep up with the game.

I’ll watch the mini-match tomorrow and enjoy that.

I’ll probably listen to the Geelong/Brisbane game too and hope that they belt the shit out of each other to make it tougher next week for whoever is the winner.

Something I learned today?

Amy asked me to pick some stuff up at the auntie’s store at Fah Tai market and sent me a list written in Thai. When I showed it to the boy working at the shop, he apologised and told me that he couldn’t read. I guess he just gets by ok on speaking.

House Of Secrets – 8th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cain will never stop killing his brother
There is no path to peace
Perpetually fighting one another
A house of secrets has no keys
Each morning another death repeated
Each night let the tribe increase
The human condition cannot be cheated
Until, in time, the tribe will cease

Inspired by Nick Cave’s explanation of the song Frogs and ‘let the tribe increase’ is taken from The Mob’s album of the same name.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, forcing myself to get up slowly at 7.30 am. I want to try and get into the groove that I was in yesterday and get shit done!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The cheap McVities chocolate biscuits from the ‘blue shop’ (easier to say than Thanapiraya!).

Also to Poowanat at Heaven and Hell for paying up front for the records I sent down to him this morning.

And the lady at the post office again for patiently helping me get all my packages sent.

Also, after my successful grammar lesson on Friday, I screenshot a load of other grammar ideas to put some lessons together next week.

The best thing about today was:

Watching the Swans beat GWS in a thrilling match that was even tense for me just watching the mini-match replay.

Amy came in from the kitchen to see what was scaring the cats. It was me, clapping and whooping.

GWS led throughout the whole game and I gave it up before half time but somehow they got their shit together and got ahead with only a couple of minutes to go. Awesome start to the day (after coffee, of course).

Also, after my disappointment with my guitaring yesterday, today I bashed along with a bunch of familiar songs and felt a lot better for it.

Something I learned today?

Half a million Israelis protested today against Netanyahu’s actions against Palestine, demanding a ceasefire to get the remaining hostages back. How many were protesting the genocide of the Palestinians?

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I sent a six-month follow-up message to Earn to check in with her and see how she is doing again. I don’t see her around much at school now.

I also sent a message to Lydia since she left a couple of months ago for a new school.

Sometimes, The Hare – 10th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

One forward followed by two back
Searching endlessly to fill the lack
Uncertainty jags wider the crack
Does the turtle always win the race?

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 51 – steps

Today I’m feeling:

Great for getting up a few minutes earlier, working out and beating the traffic to work. This morning, all the kids were in happy, playful moods, so it was a good start to the day.

Mondays are pretty easy for me, even with 5 hours in class, so I felt relaxed even though I had to rush some coffees and didn’t get much writing done.

Today I’m grateful for:

The students who have been dragged into performing a play this year.  Most of them are my students, either currently or in the past.  I was teaching next door to where they were practising, and they pulled me in to help them with some pronunciation practice. I felt grateful that they knew that they could come to me for help.

Even though I’m already busy, I offered to help them when I had some spare time.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 8 student Manow, who for parts of last semester was shy and wary of me, had her 14th birthday today and as I called her up to the board to do the last piece of work for the class, I announced (though everyone knew) that it was her birthday and we all proceeded to sing Happy Birthday for her.

She then shared out her cake, which she had been carrying around all day and as there were only ten minutes left for the class, it quickly got devoured.

She has warmed up to me a little more now that she realises that I am there to help her with learning.  She’s not great at English, but I give her encouragement for her effort.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I got home, I was happy to see that the gardeners had been and things were looking tidier again (until you look closely anyway).  I was appreciative that they had left alone the part of the garden I cordoned off and asked Amy to remind them to leave, too.

But then, Amy told me to go and look out in the drive, and there were the sad remains of two of our best ghost cactuses. Sigh.

Amy asked me to pay the gardener, which has left me well short of cash this month.  I asked her to send pictures of our ravaged cactuses and to ask them to take more care.

Something I learned today?

Sydney Swans beat Geelong yesterday, and I was able to at least watch the 15-minute mini-match, though things weren’t looking good as we went six goals down and didn’t get our first into deep into the second quarter.  Things came together after that, though, and things are looking positive for the future this season.

It’s kind of annoying that this season, when we are doing so well, is the first season I haven’t been able to watch the full matches. I’m still not going to fork out a week’s wages for a subscription, though.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I took Baipad a piece of Amy’s carrot cake this morning.

When I showed this picture to Jet, she said she suddenly felt hungry for fried chicken!

Start To Finish – 4th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Ever since time begun
– You were nothing and no one
– – Born from dirt and sun
– – – This is the beginning

– – – There’s nothing to be done
– – You’re nothing and no one
– There’s nothing to come
This is the end

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge – Helpless

Today I’m feeling:

Quiet and confused but more settled throughout the day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The end of the holidays!

As often happens I end up deleting lots of things that keep me updated with news from around the world. This time I’ve deleted a lot of subscriptions to reports from the USA or geopolitics that generally involves the USA.  It’s sad and frustrating to watch the wild thrashes of a beast in its death throes so I’m putting out of my sight.

The best thing about today was:

I went out to get some sodas and dropped in to see if Baipad was back home now, which she was and I chatted with her for a few minutes.  

She seemed ok and was glad to be back from her Grandmum’s though as soon as she was back her cat knocked her phone to the floor and broke it!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday’s roller coaster of emotions ended on a sour note, as even though Amy had eventually been happy and grateful and affectionate towards me I couldn’t shake the rest of the bad feelings out and when, as she often does, she drunkenly came to me for sex I calmly said that I wasn’t interested tonight and was annoyed at the fact this only usually happens when she is drunk.  When I’m rebutted in my approaches at other times I will laugh it off and wait for another day.

To be approached when drunk feels insulting to me.  I know I shouldn’t feel like this but it had been a long day for me and I was nowhere near in a loving mood.

And Amy took great umbrage at this and stormed off slamming doors and going to the other bedroom.  I left it for a while and came and asked her back into our bedroom and cuddled her til we both slept.

Although there were no hostilities this morning Amy didn’t want to communicate and so I was as pleasant as I could be and left her to it.  We continued the day quietly without talking further about what happened in particular.  I feel OK but could also feel better.

Something I learned today?

Sydney Swans are top of the table in the AFL after beating GWS and Geelong losing to Melbourne.  It’s a bit of a surprise, to be honest.  The media rarely focus much on the Swans as they have just been a consistent team without flash or bravado and they (the media) focuses on the Melbourne teams for gossip and rivalry.

And Ipswich Town have won their last game of the season to make it back into the Premier League next year.  Wow!

And then double wow, stumbling across a video podcast of interviews with Ipswich legends from my youth.  I watched one episode today with George Burley.  Amazing.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took some candy for Team Utopia.

House Of Dreams – 24th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

What goes on in there?
Door ajar, window wide
Unholy noises emanate
Secrets unseen inside

Are there witches
Three crone sisters
That talk in tongues
And hypnotic whispers

A crash and a scream
There’s blood supposed
Suddenly the doors
And window closed

The shadows darken
And take their leave
Was it just a nightmare
That kids believe?

Inspired by the attached picture that reminds me of my own childhood home a little but made me think more of a house that as kids we used to pass sometimes at night and heard all sorts of weird noises coming from. Our childish minds formed ghosts and witches and we would run past as quickly as possible. A few years later and I ended up dating the girl that lived there with her wild and crazy mum and girlfriend and I soon saw for myself what was making all the noise inside. They were bat-shit crazy. It was fun for a while.

Submitted to Crimson’s Creative Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and underwhelmed so far though I’m waiting for my first coffee. I haven’t been sleeping well due to discomfort in my shoulder and struggling to breathe clearly.

Today I’m grateful for:

That the AFL website now has a dedicated page for match replays where the scores are not displayed.  

Maybe they had it before but this is season is the first time I’ve found it.

The best thing about today was:

Realising what I can do for my grade 12 classes next year.  Last week Australia announced that they are raising the IELTS level for students from 5.5 to 6.  Already well above most kids level but as we were talking about it it reminded me of when I was teaching Chinese students online, preparing them for the Speaking exam.

So I figure why not use my class to prepare these kids and go through a different set of IELTS questions, discussing and preparing one week and then attempting the following.

It should be easy enough to find sample questions online again and it will just be a case of wash, rinse, repeat.  I love it when an idea comes to me like this because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with this class.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today has been pleasantly full. From coffee to immediately getting home and watching the Swans play well to beat Essendon, then straight out for buffet sushi lunch at a place we hadn’t tried before, to visit Cap at the vets and then a little shopping at Makro on the way home, straight into my room to play guitar and then to finally sit and watch some YouTube videos at around 5.30 pm.

I’ve been glad to be on the go for a change as I’ve not been moving my old bones enough for this last week or so and I’m feeling it.

Something I learned today?

I finally found out where to change the setting on my Mac to do a three finger window drag!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Amy hurried me along to not wait around with my morning coffee as I usually do today but thankfully I was up early enough to get back and watch the football with enough time for us to make it to lunch before she started biting my head off.

I’m happiest when …

Listening to music, reading a book, reading a comic, playing with students – when the joy resonates through my body bringing me to a point of savouring.  

Anything that triggers this is when I’m happiest and sometimes, if I remind myself, I can activate this feeling at will.

Family And Friends – 17th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You may choose your friends
Come and go as depends
One starts, another ends
– Everything you could wish for

Family is a tricky game
Bonded purely by a name
Changing yet always the same
– So frustrating to deal with

Sometimes they comfort bring
Without saying anything
Soothing any dreadful sting
– Family and friends

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge at RonovanWrites

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty flat and tired. Less dizzy than yesterday and my brain seems to be functioning reasonably well but I’m lacking energy and motivation.

Today I’m grateful for:

Two awesome coffees this morning where Nick was manning Utopia in Art and Noey’s absence.

The best thing about today was:

Watching the Swans beat Collingwood at the MCG (played on Friday) cheered me up, followed by watching the highlights of Ipswich beating Sheffield Wednesday 6-0.

As I was watching the AFL and thinking about how long I have followed certain sports teams and seeing how young they are, I was reminded of the time when I was the same age as the players and thinking I could’ve done that and that is 35 years ago now. Players have come and gone but the team maintains. How long will sports last into the future?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m not feeling particularly hungry today so I only ate some snacks but did finish off the chocolate almonds.

Something I learned today?

In the UK, the Tories have let slip their true intentions for Gaza: they want Israel’s genocide to continue for as long as possible and they are worried about peace because the genocide is hurting Labour in the polls.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I did so little today and of no real consequence but I did accidentally trap Tigger’s tail in the door and he was understandably upset. I hope he’s ok. I saw him outside later but wasn’t able to check.

The Last Resort Technician – 8th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Like a loopy Ikea jigsaw puzzle
Needing all the king’s horses and men
Humpty Dumpty took sage advice
To R.T.F.M.

Submitted to The Sound of One Hand Typing

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed.  Now the real semester wind down is happening which saddens me somewhat, as less students bother coming to school, less youthful influence to inspire and the prospect of adult nonsense for the next couple of weeks of grading and lesson planning.  But I will make the best of that.

Today I’m grateful for:

Getting home and then remembering that today is the first game of the season for the Sydney Swans.  The game was actually yesterday but I have to wait until I can watch the replay.  

Every year the site layout changes and I have to try and figure out how to watch the game replay without seeing the score.  I usually don’t manage this on the first game due to the changes and sure enough that’s what happened today.  

But that’s fine – because we won, beating the Melbourne Demons by 22 points.  Watching the game was still entertaining because we played well.  I hope we can keep it up.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting, playing, teaching my students today along with a 4 hour break at House where I did some reading and writing, trying some new forms of poetry and contemplating others.

Something I learned today?

What a ghazal is and forced myself to write one.  It took me about an hour just to figure out ten lines.  It was an interesting exercise though.

I also learned that my grade 7 student Pang never went home yesterday. The night before she and her mum had a fight and her mum told her not to come home again. So that’s exactly what she did!

When Kru Karn was trying to find information from her friends she discovered that Pang skipped school at midday yesterday and went off with her old friends and got so drunk that she couldn’t walk and posted the story on Instagram! If the director of the school ever sees that then that is instant expulsion. 

For me, getting drunk with her friends isn’t that big a deal, it’s what I did at that age too. Hopefully her friends are true friends and will take care of her.

It reminds me of a time when I was about 18 and there was a very drunk 13-year-old in town and my friends and I took care of her. We called her parents to tell them that we were all very sorry but that she wouldn’t be home that night but that we would take care of her. Of course, they were very upset but we did take care of her and found her a female friend to stay with that night. I don’t know what the fallout from that event was but I think we did the right thing taking care of her.

Our worry with Pang is that not only is she strong-willed and wild but that she is on medication for depression. So, along with a risk of being sexually taken advantage of (or willingly accidentally falling pregnant), she is also susceptible to doing something tragic.

I took these pictures because they represent the feeling of the day. My students, hard at work.

Seventeen – 4th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I’m seventeen today
I’ve learned very little so far
Don’t expect so much
This is the way we are

I’m only seventeen
This is no time for babies
The future so uncertain
My life so full of maybes

Yes, I’m seventeen
Full of doubts and bluster
I can do anything
With the energy I can muster

I’m already seventeen
Stop telling me what to do
I can do what I want
I don’t need to listen to you

I’m dead at seventeen
My life already done
Everything a disaster
Will eighteen never come?

I’m still seventeen
Inside an adult insecure
Learning all about life
Always growing more

Today I’m feeling:

Back to normal though I still have some phlegm on my chest but it doesn’t bother me now. I’m feeling good and positive mentally too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The bread shop at Big C that has a black sesame mochi-bread type thing that is a yummy snack and then a little chocolate pastry that I follow up with. It’s a small treat for myself sometimes.

The best thing about today was:

Having a reasonably simple but long (for me) conversation in Thai with Goya about the colours of the day in Thailand and the colours of the shirts we were wearing and our shirts for sports day. It was only as I walked away I realised that we’d been speaking in Thai the whole time and I felt a little bit proud of myself. I’m grateful to Goya for that today.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had a simple class in the morning and the kids were trying to catch up on work for their science class, which frustrated me at first.

I took all their work away telling them that there was plenty of time and that if they finished my class they would be free to do the work they wanted. They reluctantly agreed and most of the class completed the work with plenty of time to spare…. except three students who wanted to go to the bathroom and disappeared for about 20 minutes.

It is still a case of herding cats with some of these kids though they are slowly improving.

Something I learned today?

Brodie Grundy has joined the Swans from Collingwood. Amy used to mention how handsome he was whenever she saw him playing but she’s not so keen now he’s looking a bit older.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Once again I offered Earn some advice because she is shy to talk to the boy she likes. I told her that if she doesn’t talk to him she will never know how he feels. And if she does talk to him then she will know and whatever way he feels about is a positive outcome for her.

Really, she is not shy at all, she is just scared of rejection. She agreed. She then wanted to focus on how pretty she was. I told her that that is only one element of who she is and not to get so hung up on it. She appreciated my advice but I’m not sure that she is strong enough to act on it (yet).

Little Nicha is also crushing on a boy in her class but insists that he doesn’t like her. She is also too shy to find out. I talked to him a little today, asking if he liked any girls in the class but he is either too shy to talk about it or hasn’t even thought about it yet. The girls seem ready for ‘romance’ whilst the boys are stuck on football and video games.

I don’t know if I have the best advice for these kids but what I do want to get across to the girls is to be strong and independent.

I joined Baipad, Jan and Apple in the canteen at lunchtime and they also introduced me to their friend Chompoo. I tried to get them all talking about things in English as much as I could instead of looking at their phones.

Quote: “You’re only poor if you give up. The most important thing is that you did something. Most people only talk and dream of getting rich. You’ve done something.” – Robert T. Kiyosaki

I don’t consider myself rich though where I live others might consider me so. I still gauge things in Aussie dollars and in comparison, I’m not rich at all. Comfortable, I suppose. 

I never really expected to be rich and when I dreamt about it I was fully aware it was a dream. I never thought to try and marry rich or even chase money particularly. I was lucky to have a very well-paying job for a few years and whilst saving some I also invested it into philanthropic art with my music label.

So all this time I was busy doing things, doing something. In fact, I even made a T-shirt that just had two words on the front ‘do something’. I had been practising this even before leaving England with my free pamphlet ‘Fuck Around’. 

Whether you like something or not, you have no right to reply if you are doing nothing yourself.

One of the purposes of this trail of words on this blog is to look back at all the something I did.

I got this picture from August because my students were supposed to be working but hid themselves behind some stage props in the classroom and started their own little photo shoot. As the quality of the picture shows I caught them before they got very far. I told them that if they didn’t finish my work today I would send the pictures to their homeroom teacher and, sufficiently threatened, they mostly got on with it. It was an empty threat anyway, I just wanted to see my naughty students having fun. Pictured are Fah and Nicha (holding the guitar).

Stuck In Reverse – 9th September 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Oil pours from the heart
Thick, sad and grey
Even the falling tears
Cannot wash it away
Struggling with movement
This unreal ache inside
Consumes all thoughts
As if one had died

Life continues blurred
A no-prescription fix
Life left without magic
A wall without bricks
Cogs no longer turning
Rusted brown from salt
Stuck in reverse
But nobody’s fault

Today I’m feeling:

Still a little run-down. I had some tension in my legs that stopped me from sleeping much beyond my alarm and eventually pulled myself out of bed. The gardeners are coming today and I was expecting them to wake me up but no sign yet. I contemplated some exercise but flaked out. Ugh.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to watch the AFL again this season. This elimination final has got me tense and stressed and it’s the end for Sydney and the rest of the day will feel a little flat unless I find something to do to pick myself up. Fark it!

I’m also grateful to the Swans for their determination to make the finals this year against the odds. They are not a premiership-looking team at the moment though to be fair they weren’t in 2012 either when they beat Hawthorn. Let’s wait for next summer.

The best thing about today was:

Receiving a nice message from my student Namkhing (see yesterday) for helping her improve her English. It made me feel appreciated.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The gardeners still hadn’t come by 1 pm so I went out to grab some lunch and go shopping and when I got back three hours later they were just leaving. As I wasn’t here I couldn’t tell them not to cut Kim’s patch but at least they left the tub that is placed over her plant. The things growing there will recover pretty quickly anyway so not too bad.
Elsewhere I can see everything is pretty badly done if you look closely. Really no attention to detail.
I was curious if the little papaya would get destroyed and sure enough, it did. I don’t want to tell Amy how unsatisfied I am with their work as it will just make her upset and angry and give her more ammunition to complain about her undeveloped third-world country. I think that will just get me down so I’ll just dwell on the fact that at least the grass looks better.

Something I learned today?

There are an estimated 8.7 million species on earth and more than 80% of them are undiscovered. (factanimal.com)

What am I most excited about for the future?

I should be more excited about going to Australia and I probably will feel it more once I land. The familiarity of Sydney will make for a strange feeling as this will be the first time to take a holiday in this city. Most holidays I had when I was there involved going to someplace else.

As I was writing this Amy video-called and I could see the familiar deep blue sky behind her. I could sense the smells, sounds and feeling of being there. Whilst I miss that now, I know that familiarity breeds contempt or more just complacency and taking things for granted. Maybe I’m even taking things for granted here now too as I’m less awed by the fact that I am here in Thailand.

Beyond that, I’m not particularly excited about anything specifically. I’m either flat or satisfied with where I’m at right now and I prefer to think I’m the latter.

I took this picture because this excited little pup came to greet me at the restaurant next door to Utopia. It’s grown since I last saw it but I could still squash it with my foot!