Marginalia – 29th August 2022

A Russian writer in a Dublin bar
Took a metaphor way too far
The idiot brother spent the day
Conjuring up their words at play
Newspeak made them more afraid
And on the farm, a price was paid
Conch holders soon made no sound
As Alexandria’s library burned to the ground
A plague, a joke, the man outside
Tall tales of prejudice and pride
Repeated and replaced with robots, I
Struggle with two suns in the sky


Isn’t it conceivable a person wants to be a decent human being because that way he feels better.

Isaac Asimov
I took this picture because these two kept me company for a little while this morning on my walk. They looked like they were trying to kill each other but all the while wagging their tails and jumping up to run off again.

The Week That Was – 11th November 1979

Freedom Trap – 20th January 2022

Build a wall to keep out the sea
And a roof to keep out the rain
Stop the sun from getting in
And never see the weather again
Freedom means nothing to the agoraphobe
We’re either trapped within big or small
The measure exists inside our minds
And we help to build that wall


The misery that oppresses you lies not in your profession but in yourself!

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Gratitude Journal

I’m so happy and grateful for our big palm trees that provide hours of entertainment as Tangmo loves to play with the old fallen fronds. I don’t know why!

In The Alley – 25th December 2021

There in the alley, the marginal spaces
The ministers mix with the drunk
Between the tavern and the church
Was the birth of soul and funk

Here lies the crux to save humanity
The bleed maintains the goal
Has heaven found its place on earth
Where angels delivered funk and soul?

Keep on pushin’, Minister Curtis
Not just shaking shaggy, do wow!
We got to find the rhythms of peace
And we got to find them now

adapted from a LitHub article about Curtis Mayfield


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our palm trees, whose fronds Tangmo really loves to play with when they have fallen to the ground.


A pleasant morning, waking without an alarm and inspired enough to get back to the abs regime. I’ve just been doing two sets of 25 sit-ups a day, sticking my feet under the lounge as leverage. I’m hoping my muscles eventually become strong enough to pull my body up without having to use my legs.

Amy has been baking carrot cake as Christmas gifts and we first took one to Art at Utopia, which was enjoyed and they rewarded me with an awesome new coffee blend from Melbourne. Then, to Cafe With No Name to drop off their cake.

Back now for relaxing lunch and reading my first Samuel Beckett, which I now understand Sean Hughes’ fascination with. Looking at my book shelves, there are just so many great books I have that I can’t wait to read.

This evening we are off to Singha Park with Amy’s parents for a family Christmas dinner.

New Wind – 15th December 2021

I let the spiders in through the tiny cracks
Their wicked whispers leave deadly tracks
A background chatter of ropes and pills
Terrible solutions that may cure my ills

I must welcome the birds and breeze
A new wind to put my mind at ease
Open the doors to let the sunshine in
And live life with the shadows the light will bring


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to play badminton with Amy yesterday in the driveway. We had to lock out Tangmo because the day before he chewed on the shuttlecock.


I was looking forward to only having one class today, catching up with a few things, sitting drinking coffee at House but last night Amy told me she will use the car today so I’m sitting in Le Paradis instead (the school cafe). At least it’s a little better in here than in the teacher’s room and I can be pretty much by myself.

I also have to go to see the psychiatrist again this afternoon, just to get more medicine. I’m back down to just 50mg sertraline again for now, which seems to be doing me ok. I’m enjoying 37.5mg tramadol every day and generally that just makes me feel fucking awesome. I’m glad you can just buy over the counter here. It’s addictive but it has a powerful effect and I love it! The sertraline stops me being depressed and the tramadol makes me happy and relaxed. If there are any negative effects from this combination, perhaps it’s worth it!

In my one class today, one of the female students, Kartoon, called me over and she had translated (on her phone) that she wanted to go and change her sanitary napkin. I thought it was cool that she had no fear to share this information without any feeling of shame or fear. Maybe girls are always like this, even when I was their age and, as a boy, I never noticed and, as a boy, I didn’t really understand the concept of periods.

Anyway, I told her that she didn’t need to explain why she needed to go to the bathroom, that I understood girls have different needs than boys and she understood what I was trying to tell her.

New Names – 12th December 2021

40 years or many aeons
It’s all exactly the same
What more is there to see?
Just give it a new name

Every empire risen
Has since fallen away
It’s the rhythm of events
There’s nothing that will stay

Do not dwell further on it
Neither choose to ignore
Every atom recycled
And we will be no more

14th Jun 2024 – Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United Friday Writings #131


Eremo are a four-piece math-rock band fighting their way out of Milan, IT since 2015

L’ego in un pagliaio recorded at Trai Studio
Mastered by Snug Recording

Artwork by Federico Verde
eremo.bandcamp.com – released May 2021

s/t originally released December 2016


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the cheap rope I bought for Tangmo to play with and that I found it again in the field opposite after he ran away with it last night.


Ploughed through all my recently downloaded music. Some genius works there and lots of perplexing nonsense. I have too much and also not enough. I have half a plan to do another new podcast for a while. We’ll see. I want to get on top of my blog more than anything.

The daylight is weird today. It’s warm but looks like it will rain but it is 100% unlikely to rain. It’s making me feel tired. Or maybe I am tired. I think I just want to go and watch crappy TV for a while. Give my brain a break.

Heavy Lies – 6th November 2021

Seeking connections far outside of town
Wanting a verb but always finding a noun
A big nose, a smile upside down
Heavy lies the head that wears the clown

Trying to float yet about to drown
These waters swam are turning brown
This king is in a state of constant frown
Heavy lies the head that wears the crown

Inspired by a misspelling on an online post


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to sit in my hammock this morning and finish reading the Rolling Stones biography. It’s a nice and cool temperature as Tangmo and Kim Chi chased each other and sniffed around. Days are good.


Dragged myself up out of bed this morning as I was up later than usual last night, reading, trying to finish Cosey Fanny Tutti’s Art Sex Music – almost made it.

Utopia is closed at the moment due to one of the staff members catching Covid. It seems the main outbreak around here was from a Halloween event at a place called Retro Bar. Not sure where that is, somewhere on the university side of the highway.

Although we didn’t know it at the time, Aing was there too and I’d been trying to arrange meeting her as she was only here for three days. One evening, she messaged us that she was at Hope Bar, two houses away from us, but Amy and I were already in bed, old folks that we are these days. It was 9pm. So, as it turned out, it was good that we didn’t get a chance to meet this time.

So, with Utopia being closed, I had to do without my regular morning coffees and chose to read the Rolling Stones bio in my hammock, buffeted by a cool, almost cold, breeze and I did that for an hour or so until finishing the book. Hooray. The Slash bio next, as I continue on with the rock bio books on weekends.

Despite running around shopping, dropping off cakes and picking up coffees in the city, the day feels relaxed and stress-free despite all the potential for anxieties. My attitude is good, my head is in a good space and I’m chilling to new music and staring in wonder at my bookshelves, contemplating what to read next.

We got that attitude! – 23rd October 2021

I am so happy and grateful that Tangmo seems to be getting better and more active again. It’s difficult to watch another’s pet get sick and not be sure how much effort they put into taking care of it.


By 9 pm, the night I last wrote, I had a sudden wave of fatigue come over me. I felt that I just needed sleep but still felt reasonable. When my alarm went off in the morning, though it was apparent that it was my time again for my irregular slump and so I went back to sleep. After being woken by a call from Champ, which I was barely able to mumble through, I eventually woke up again around 11 am, ate and went back to sleep until 5 pm.

It wasn’t until Thursday evening I finally felt good again. I’m cautious to push myself with any exercise for the next couple of days – and I was just one day off completing the 30 day ab challenge.

Where Were You? – 12th October 2021

Hello, my old friend, where have we been?
I travelled around the world to see the things I’ve seen
The past is a cloaked memory yet difficult to forget
Here we are again with little time to be upset

All the hopes and dreams we shared, left along the way
Stuck in a nine-to-five, kids and rent to pay
Do we recognise each other with the words we are using?
No longer in need to win if one of us is losing


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the beautiful temperatures in the evening and morning. What a wonder this earth is.


When I got home yesterday, Tangmo slowly made his way over from his house. He looked so sad and we comforted him and petted him as he lay down on his side, not understanding himself what was wrong with him. Occasionally, he would raise a paw, like a request, ‘Please help me’. Amy shed many tears and we can’t help but share his sadness.

Yesterday I felt inspired to start writing about my 1979 diary entries (see link below) but today I feel tired in my brain. Perhaps I should eat some lunch and guzzle another coffee and come back to it.

I’m not even sure why I’m at school at the moment. We have nothing to do and I avoid people as much as possible, scared that they will give me something to do. I sit in my classroom just reading and writing.

My 30 day abs challenge got more difficult but I’m getting through it each time. I think that is tiring me out, though I can say that it also makes me feel good. Can this old body go for another 100 years?


The Week That Was – 7th January 1979

The thousand nights spent on the floating ship, I wish I had another night – 11th October 2021

After reading both Stephen Fry’s books on Greek Myths and Heroes I picked up two volumes of The Arabian Nights (or One Thousand and One Nights) and I started reading the first one today.

Whilst I was reading I was conscious of the fact that I often take something in from the story and then almost immediately forget the details. For instance, I started reading a new bedtime book last night and today I can’t even remember what it is. Just being a file on my iPad doesn’t help with trying to remember things either.

So as I was reading this first story, which sets up the premise for the rest of the book, I decided I should write down a summary of the events, without too much detail, to help me remember, but also to understand more deeply.

Summary of the Story Of King Shahryar and His Brother

There were two brothers. One found his wife cheating with another man, so killed her. He was devastated by her betrayal and also remorseful for having killed her. He made himself sick.
The other brother, seeing him sick, took him in but whilst there found his brother’s wife cheating too. He realised that whilst he was suffering, others were also suffering. Telling himself things weren’t so bad he started to feel better.
His brother asked what had brought about this change and he reluctantly told of what he saw. Once the brother also saw this betrayal with his own eyes, he too, killed his wife.
They decided to get away from their betrayals and perhaps seek others who were suffering even more, a way to make themselves feel better.
They came across a monster, who kept his wife locked up. He had let her out and promptly fallen asleep, whereupon she saw the two brothers and insisted they make love to her whilst the monster slept.
They saw that the monster was suffering even more than themselves but the actions of the woman were immoral and vowed never to trust a woman again.
They returned to their lives and after sleeping with a virgin woman, killed her the following day so she would never be able to twist the hearts of men.
Eventually, virgins were becoming scarce and one brother asked his friend where to find more. The friend repeated the story to his two virgin daughters and one insisted she knew a way to put an end to this difficult situation.

These weak men, never challenging themselves as complicit in their wives’ actions, prefer to blame and punish what they dare not understand. Of course, women have suffered in every region and era of history yet it begs belief that if tales such as this become established amongst children they are likely to take that into adulthood and pass it on from generation to generation.

Should tales of old be updated for modern audiences and cultures? Cut the wheat from the chaff? Should they be completely replaced?

Of course, the summary ends on a more positive note as a woman is prepared to put herself in danger to provide a solution. Does it work? I don’t know yet.

I purposely left out the fact that the brothers are kings and tried to make the summary more human. The downside of this is that it is not in most human minds or possibility to kill every woman they sleep with. Being a king (or having that illusion) seems to allow for that possibility!

I used monster instead of jinn or genie as I was trying to understand what difference this makes. I feel that a human can be a monster but not a genie.

As in all good stories, I want to know what happens next.


Seeds Of Regret

*Am I living in the hearth
And home of the now?
For all the present is worth
Before the future I bow

*Last year I had a clear cut
If lunatic, set of ideas
Ventured onwards but
Paralysed by my new fears

*Why doesn’t someone start a fire
Close enough for me to see?
To burn through my fields of desire
*Why doesn’t someone kick me?

*Easy going as I farm
Sowing the seeds of regret
There’s no cause for alarm
As it hasn’t happened yet

*All swiped from Glenn Dakin’s ‘Abe – Wrong for the Right Reasons’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this fan today. It feels super humid this morning though the air temperature is ok. This fan is doing the job it was designed for.


Tangmo has not been himself recently. He doesn’t come to visit so often and instead of running in and jumping around, he wanders in and sits down. He doesn’t even get excited when he sees Kim Chi. Yesterday evening, Amy and I walked him back to his home and we found out that our neighbours were aware he was sick but hadn’t taken him to a vet and were giving him human medicine, though medicine for what, we have no idea.

Mo looks so sad and sick, it is hard not to be sympathetic and give him hugs. We try to remember that he’s not our dog and we are not responsible for him but it’s hard not to have heartstrings tugged by his sad face.

The weekend was fine with me just puttering around doing all the little things I enjoy. Lots of guitar practice yesterday.

She’s Back – 27th September 2021

I’ve had a long shower
And I’m snuggled up with a book
I can hear strange noises outside
But can’t be bothered to look

I’m about to fall asleep
The room is dark and black
That’s when the screaming starts
And when I know she’s back

She turns on all the lights
And dances around the room
Jumping up onto the bed
I hope she finishes soon

She makes me laugh and makes me mad
I’ll always love her to bits
But right now I need to sleep
And she’s really giving me the shits


Amy has turned much of our garden into a cactus oasis, not helped much by the long rainy season this year though. It was today I noticed that this delicate cactus was being held up by this tall ants nest, originally a stick in the ground. Ants will rule the world. They are also back in our kitchen building a small nest by the back door again.

Our neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, always enjoys coming to play but tends to go a bit nuts when he sees Kim Chi, who is usually behind a screen door inside her room. Today though, we’d just let her out when he decided to come visit and after a bit of chasing around the situation above occurred.

We worry that Tangmo could easily bite Kim Chi badly as he’s so much bigger and his barking and jumping around make her scared but usually, Kim will be the one chasing him away. Don’t fuck with our cats. Tangmo just seems to want to play but isn’t quite sure of the correct cat etiquette.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious ice cream that I ate two bowls of last night in a state of overindulgence.


Feel good today after forcing myself to do my minimal daily exercise on the weekend (this morning is rest day so I did yoga instead). I also ate two bowls of ice cream last night – which were freaking delicious but perhaps a bit too much!

Oh stayed over last night, though I was in bed by then and didn’t see her this morning either. Amy is giving her a bread-baking tutorial. Amy also did a pre-order for her cinnamon buns and got inundated with requests, so much that she will be baking for three days instead of the planned one.

I listened to day 3 of the gratitude course this morning, which gave me two very important reminders. ‘I dismiss any thoughts that entertain feelings of comparison’ and ‘I embrace my journey because it is uniquely designed just for me.’ I think these constant habits of mine are slowly having the desired positive effect, though I am not particularly challenged these days, or at least I feel as if I’m not, which could also be because of these habits.

The semester is winding down now and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that students return next semester, as I don’t have anything else planned if we continue online and I also want to start my experiment with 2/9.

Last week I was getting a bit frustrated with my guitar playing but yesterday I got back into the flow, teaching me that it’s ok to relax, take a break if necessary and try again at another time. But it is not acceptable to give up.

I’m also working up the free time and courage to get back into learning the keyboard and music software and thinking about making songs again. I know I can do it but I’m also aware of what a time sink it will be.

Amy is still constantly frustrated with the situation in Thailand and I have to try and deflect or point out our positives so that it doesn’t get her too depressed. I am attempting to deal with the situation here stoically and I am happy to tell Amy that I am ok living anywhere in the world with her.

When she’s drunk, she will chide me with ‘you love it here, you can stay’ and whilst I wouldn’t say I love it here anymore than anywhere else, I am happily aware of how easy my life is compared to the UK and Australia. Even so, I will give it up if it makes Amy happier with herself and her situation.


The Week That Was – 26th August 1979