Returned – 19th May 2024

I was part of a story that I didn’t understand
From glacial mountaintops, the water ran to the sea
Among green valleys, men farmed and planned
And one day a place was made for me

I saw fun and fire as we flew our kites high
We dug at the soil to see what we’d find
There was a balance we kept as time went by
That ensured the longevity of all animal-kind

We remained assured we knew what we were doing
But our values changed that we gave to our space
Eventually, realising that there was trouble brewing
And we’d no longer be welcome in this place

By the time I understood my part in the story
It was too late to make changes of worth
But the rocks remain in their lonely glory
And all humankind returned to the earth


Today I’m feeling:

A little lazy and relaxed. With nothing much to do this morning, we dozed and lazed until Amy decided she wanted to get out. So we’re off to a cafe for a couple of hours before coming back to get ready for the wedding this afternoon.

Today I’m grateful for:

The old lady staff at the cafe who rode a motorbike a fair few kilometres to get a taxi to come and pick us up. We gave her a bit of extra cash.

The best thing about today was:

The coffee at Little Tree Cafe was awesome, which was a bit of a surprise. Beautiful surroundings, must be a very rich owner, tons of staff and quite a few customers. I guess people want to get away from the city.

We accidentally got dropped off at a house next door to the cafe where the huge room was covered in antique furniture and the lady owner was lounging around listening to jazz. She wasn’t phased that we were looking for the cafe. What a life.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This cafe we came to is out in the jungle and now no taxi wants to come and pick us up! Waiting

Something I learned today?

Today is Baipad’s sister’s birthday. She’s 9. I think Baipad is a little bothered by how much more affection her sister gets than her.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Was it good or vile that I left Amy with a few of the wedding guests at a bar opposite the venue? Nong Mai dropped me back to the hotel and said she would look after Amy. 

Amy wanted to go off somewhere to carry on but Nong Mai convinced her not to, thankfully. 

Quote

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ”

— Robert Benchley
I took this picture because Amy was impressed with the cafe and this room in particular.

Proof – 3rd March 2024

My cup is always half-full
I counter the push and pull
You cannot pull the wool
Over my eyes

This game of life is fun
Whether in snow or sun
Today is another one
Of the best

Even when shadows fall
I can counter them all
There will be no wall
I cannot jump

Like Sisyphus, I will climb
Loving each moment in time
Living this life of mine
To the fullest

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 37: POSITIVITY


“And in the pain, there is strength.”

As a depressed teenager I carved LIFE IS PAIN into my arm. It is a constant reminder. I live for the struggle.

Where I now teach, some students were wasting time in class playing a (pretty dumb) video game. I asked them what they got out of it and they said it was fun and they learned that by driving the car faster they earned more points.

I asked them how this was useful in real life and they had no answer. I told them that life is not fun. They looked at me seriously and asked me what it was and I sure told them…. LIFE IS PAIN.

To reiterate the point I twisted their arms behind their backs until it hurt and asked them – WHAT IS LIFE!? PAIN, PAIN – they screamed.

We all laughed (please don’t imagine that I am some sort of ruthless prison guard with my hyperbole) and they went back to their game.

But one day…..they will remember this.

Today I’m feeling:

Positive and happy. With Amy off for the day, I will take some time to catch up on emails and writing.

Today I’m grateful for:

The twenty-baht shop where I bought more light bulbs. The lady there is an attractive and young-looking woman but today I discovered, and couldn’t believe, that she has a daughter who looks about 8 or 9 years old. The daughter was curious about me and when I gave her a wink she broke out a big smile.

The best thing about today was:

It’s been a pretty lazy relaxing afternoon with a bit of reading and watching YouTube.  Watering the garden was about as good as it gets.  I want to see things grow, grow, grow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Although it was in my control I ended up spending about 1000 baht today, buying coffee, light bulbs, soda water and remembering to order the car seat covers on Lazada.  No more inessentials for the rest of the month now….

Something I learned today?

From Rise of the Global South Telegram group: Swedish Diplomat Count Folke Bernadotte Personally Saved 31K Jews from Nazi Concentration Camps – He was Shot Dead by Members of the Jewish Stern Gang in Jerusalem in 1948

He was killed at point-blank range in a motorcade ambush after writing a UN report based on the devastated Palestinian villages he personally witnessed.

The go-ahead for the murder came from the future Prime Minister of Israel, Yitzhak Yezernitsky.

Israel knew the names of the men who committed the murder, yet nobody was charged.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took Amy to the city and the family to the temple for Grandmum’s 100-day prayers. Then, I dropped Mum and Dad home, picked up Aor and dropped her and Amy at Paew’s. My taxi duties done for the day.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  23. Create Something. Not to leave a legacy, you won’t be here to see it anyway, but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.

Growing up I always seemed to be creating something (apart from a nuisance), from artwork, poetry and lyrics, music (of a sort), then creating or advancing a scene in the Sydney DIY space, producing records and so on.

I’m proud of the things that I have done and consider it my legacy but only for myself to enjoy.  It has all made me feel good about myself and I know I have inspired others with some of the things I have created and seen them get enjoyment from them too.  Every day I still create something.

I took this picture at temple prayers for Grandmum and while not having any connected belief to this or any faith, I did find this short ceremony quite comforting.

Break Down The Wall – 22nd October 2023

Disappointment with humanity
And the reality we conceed
To American dreams of freedom
From which we’ll never be freed

Misinformed and kept indebted
To slave away for all we need
Uneducated and ignorant
Of other points of view or creed

But the towers of empire crumble
As revolutions rise from seed
And the writing is on the wall
But only for those who read

23rd Aug 2024 – Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United – break free


Today I’m feeling:

(Early) Anxious and wound up. I went to sleep easily but woke up cold because of the intense aircon that I couldn’t figure out how to temper. Both Amy and I feel like we have colds and that could quite easily be true after being on a plane and then into the crazy humidity here. My shoulders are stiff from not moving much on this hard bed and I’m awake well before I’d like to be.

(Late) Calm and contemplative after a 2-hour massage, good food and even a reasonable enough temperature to do the short walk back to the hotel from the shopping centre. Back home tomorrow. Happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Fai for picking us up at the airport last night when we were dog-tired after a long day.

The funny taxi driver who picked us up from the train station this afternoon and then the Auntie who massaged me into pain for two hours at the hotel. Bless them all for their small parts in my story.

The best thing about today was:

Finding new work pants at Monotone and then some cheap soaps at Bath and Body Works after a train and MRT ride into the city. No rush today, everything will be ok.

Also sending a couple of boxes of things back home via a courier service so that our bags will make the weight limit for our final flight. Only 430 baht. Bargain (so long as it arrives!)

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got caught out yet again with my visa, this time not having a re-entry permit so now I just have a 30-day visa on arrival until I go to immigration again on Tuesday.

I have a visa to stay and I can leave any time but I’m not allowed to leave without permission and not allowed back in with the visa! Frustrating.

Something I learned today?

I found the Monotone stores in BKK again today and was advised to use LINE to contact them in future rather than use Shopee as there are fake stores on there! Weird to think that people would imitate this rather small independent brand.

I took this picture because I like the message for my kids and am curious if any of them will tell me that it is grammatically incorrect. 

The Week That Was – 23rd December 1979

Record of the week: Beat – Tears of a Clown

23rd Sep 2022 – The Beat were tied in with the Two Tone movement but were more traditional in their songs than the almost straight-up ska of the Specials and early Madness. The Beat trod a more poppy path than the Ruts and I’d argue even some Haircut 100 went down that path too and later this sound was brilliantly utilised by one of the best bands no one has ever heard of, Crane, who covered both The Beat and The Ruts at different times.

23rd December 1979
Wonder what I’ll get
see 26 Dec
2p 2p 94p*

24th December 1979
Can’t wait
2p 4p 92p*

25th December 1979
WOO!!
2p 2p 88p*

23rd Sep 2022 – I believe in the afternoon of this Christmas, mum and I went to my Auntie Lorna’s house and it looks like my Auntie Shirley stayed at my house with my grandparents.

I thought my Auntie Lorna was quite sophisticated as her house had a lounge that went around the corner and the corner part had a lamp, table and cup holders. At this time my cousin Elise would have been about 10 I guess and she and I never got on, possibly because we just had different lives and the only thing that connected us was this odd tie of family.

Lorna was still married to Jim though that would fall apart over the next couple of years, I believe because of his infidelity but that is only what I heard. I liked him because he would play with me. Children make interesting judgements on adult’s characters. I would make fun of him because I discovered his middle name was Aloysius, which was (and is) an unusual name, so much so that I just had to look up how it was spelt. When I knew how much he hurt my auntie though I didn’t have such a great opinion of him and he disappeared from all our lives once they got divorced.

26th December 1979
Got Never Mind The Bollocks
This pen, desk diary
Book – I Like This Poem
2p 2p 84p*

23rd Sep 2022 – Boxing Day and the shops were open again. I’m not sure why but we made a special shopping trip to Bournemouth which was just amazing to me.

We parked at the Triangle which I would become more familiar with over time as it was the bus stop for buses from Wimborne and also you could usually find a parking spot here. It’s usually a nice walk down to the Gardens and to the record stores on the other side and up the hill. I have a clear memory of it being gloomy and cloudy when we arrived and then dark and rainy when we left, this was so magical to my little mind. I was in the big city at night time!

Bournemouth Gardens, down to the beach.

Bournemouth was so high class compared with sleepy Wimborne and the, as then, still unexplored Poole. At the record store, which may even have been a chain store such as Our Price, I convinced my mum to buy me the picture disc version of the Sex Pistols Never Mind The Bollocks album. I was so proud, and, not being able to play it until getting home a few days later I stared at the live shot for hours.

27th December 1979
Don’t think there is any charts today
Shirley sleeps in my bed Ha Hee
Not charts
2p 2p

23rd Sep 2022 – Knowing that my Aunt Shirley would sleep in my bed whilst I was away I filled it with itching powder that I’d either received for my birthday or that Christmas morning!

28th December 1979
Get the car re-serviced
Flooding
Got a taxi home only to Horseshoes, had to walk through the water.
2p 78p*

23rd Sep 2022 – This was the year of the big flood and on the way from Ferndown to Holtwood, which isn’t too far, we had to slow down many times after hitting water that just looked like the road in the early dark of the evening.

I’ve seen images from the floods in 1979 but can’t find them now. This one is from around 2014 and shows what it was like driving through the waters. Imagine that at night time and not even being able to tell where to road turns to water.

We couldn’t even get directly home and had to go around through Gaunts Common and even then the depth of water was too intimidating for the taxi driver at Horseshoes. I couldn’t believe it. Mum said, Come on, we’ve got to get out and walk through the water!

The top of the hill, coming from Gaunts Common down to Horseshoes. It looks beautiful here and makes me want to go and visit again.

And me with my brand new unplayed copy of the greatest album in my world, that I hadn’t even listened to yet! The water came up to our waists and we held our bags as high as we could and at least it had stopped raining.

29th December 1979
Norwich 3-3 Ipswich
2p