Above the roaring chaos of the rooms The petty squabbles of emotional fools Moulding little munchkins while running on fumes Stuck in a system broken; made to be rules
Making peace amongst the many positions Knowing little more than the best use of tools Embracing the insistent inquisitions Every teacher’s a student that schools
I found a job that I truly love, where I can put my whole self into it. Shared with dVerse OLN #396 and this didn’t get many eyes and also conveniently meets the What’s Going On prompt this week too.
I didn’t sleep particularly well and woke up at one point with a disconcerting dream where I was trying to find my friends in an AFL stadium but ended up outside, around a car parking area and went through a fire exit door that led into a dank dark wide stairwell and off to the side, a cavernous tunnel dug through the concrete, dirt and rock, the pathway littered with old beer bottles. Obviously, a place for nefarious folks to gather.
As I stepped through, a dodgy youngster stepped out of the shadow, saying, ‘Well, well, what have we here? Welcome to The Pricks.’ I replied with a ‘What?’ And attempted to get back to the fire door to exit, somehow knowing and submitting to the fact that I wasn’t going to make it and my legs were as if stuck in treacle.
Unable to face my fate, I woke myself up, wondering who won the football and scared to go back to sleep.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
My old student Cake, who is in grade 10 now, is in the Science Program and aiming to be a doctor. She took me to the stand where she was demonstrating what worms are made up of and how they work.
She looks and behaves so grown up now that last Thursday, when students don’t need to wear a uniform, I mistook her for a teacher!
Also, Jet, who showed me a little about how Instagram works and Tonaor, who showed me how to follow everyone in their class.
The best thing about today was:
Watching some of my students perform a dance routine that I had seen them practising for the last few weeks. I thought that they were just doing it for fun but I was amazed at how professional they were when they were on stage today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I arrived back at school at 10:20 to discover that today is Science Day and many of my 10:30 grade 12 class were taking part in it and those that weren’t wanted to go and watch them. Well, ok, I guess.
I didn’t know anything about this (though I do know that tomorrow is another event that disrupts my classes) but I rolled with it and went to check it out for a little while too. It was pretty fun, though I’m not sure how the sexy dancing competition fit into the theme of the event but everyone seemed to be having a good time.
After an hour, I headed back for more coffee and reading and writing ( and my final grade 8) class, asking to skip today to go to the event, but we all knew that it would be finished by then and they were just trying it on.
I took it easy with them, though and we had a fun class practising what we did yesterday, introductions and asking conversational questions and I came up with an interesting idea for them to try next week. Basically, getting each of my grade 8 classes to go and record themselves interacting with each other, having the same type of conversations. It will push them a little and will show me who is motivated.
Something I learned today?
In the Middle Ages, what we now call a hedgehog was called an urchin. That’s a fairly useless piece of information.
I also heard about a Palestinian man who went to register the birth of his three-day-old twins and came home to find that Israel had bombed the apartment where they were staying (as they had been displaced) killing the babies, their mother (who was a well-liked doctor) and grandmother.
Sickeningly, some Israeli online commenters said that they were happy to have taken away everything from this man.
This is how terrorists are made.
I took this picture because we had a visitor again when I got home. Uncle cowman had already chased him out one time today but there must be something good with our grass. I didn’t chase him out, hoping to get some free lawn mowing. Our cats looked on, slightly bemused.
Are you sick and tired of the same old thing Or are you happy enough? Tell me When does so much become so little? When does too little become too much?
It feels like you’ve been here before These are familiar words you sing Wheels spinning Stuck on the rat race treadmill Are you sick and tired of the same old thing?
A trophy wife and trophy life Surrounded by all this glittering stuff Are you empty? Is that a constant nagging inside Or are you happy enough?
I have so many questions Are you certain of all that you see? Never wrong? I don’t believe everything that you Tell me
The Joneses are growing bigger Your ego inflexible and brittle Tired of waiting Believing it’s always your turn When does so much become so little?
Your debt to yourself is catching up Your life is empty (as such) Left with no thing Just sand slipping through your fingers When does too little become too much?
A little better today after all that sleep yesterday. I ended up waking a little early this morning, took a while to get myself going but my first two classes were fun and easy.
I feel freaking hot though, my body seems to be working overtime to get rid of whatever is making me sick. No fever though.
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting through the day in reasonably good shape. I was tired but energised again after another bowl of Pla Tom from Chef Amy. I think I’ll sleep well tonight if I can keep this little cough under control.
The best thing about today was:
On my way to my last class, I found 4 of the students that I had penalised for not submitting work yesterday furiously writing it all out in the canteen. I stood over them for about a minute and they were so focused they didn’t realise I was there.
When they all looked up they gave me a half-upset and annoyed look, along with an ‘ok, I fucked up’ half-smile.
They were wonderfully behaved in my class today and we all had a good time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was all set to teach in my normal room with aircon this morning when another teacher came along and kicked the kids out. We easily found another room but unfortunately, without aircon.
To be honest, the aircon doesn’t make that much difference when a room is full off sweaty teenagers (and a sweaty old man!).
In the past, I might have let this sudden change bother me but now I can deal with it easily.
Something I learned today?
I learned that the US Anti-Doping Agency, which monitors for performance-enhancing drugs in sports, let off offenders and allowed them to keep competing so long as they dobbed in other cheaters!
This same agency has now accused the Chinese swimmers of being drug cheats at the Olympics, even though they were tested 3 times more than any other country and passed every test.
The anti-China rhetoric has jumped the shark.
I took this picture because earlier in the week, Baipad had alerted me to a Facebook auction with this Gloomy Bear plushie. I bid 220 baht and won and here he is sitting on the shelf next to my bed. It gives me the opportunity to give back the plushie that Baicard gave me on Teacher’s Day 4 years ago and had been sitting there collecting dust ever since.
A lizard onlooker shouts for both sides The winners and losers, just along for the rides The best place to hide is out in the open There are no promises that cannot be broken
There is no yin and yang or balance The race is run purely by marketing talents They’re all donkeys dressed up as horses Rides into the sunset as democracy endorses
Submitted to Bad Jonny’s competition at AllPoetry.com “Why have we only got 2 lunatics to choose from?” concerning the USA election this year.
Today I’m feeling:
Tired still and my sore throat, whilst not as painful, feels weird and is making me think that I have some form of Covid.
Last night I tried to sleep at around 9.30 but it took a while as I had a bad headache and eyeache.
I also had a weird dream about finding snakes under the bed in my old Forest Cottage bedroom and mum came in and just picked them up and threw them out of the window, no fear!
Today I’m grateful for:
It being my low-pressure day today, giving me chance to relax a bit and catch up on some reading and writing.
The best thing about today was:
The challenge of getting my poorly skilled grade 8 students motivated and awake this afternoon. A few of them are sick too. Somehow, I feel like I kind of managed it and everyone was reasonably happy.
Something I learned today?
Just by chance, I was in the teacher’s room with Kru Mai and I started talking about the Integrated Program for next year and that I thought that I could probably do it with the type of lessons that I have already. Kru Mai was grateful for this information and then let slip that the school is not happy with George as he didn’t talk with them about not wanting to teach Integrated this year, instead, going to Nancy and having her ‘fix’ it for him. He also said that students are not happy with seeing one teacher so much of the time (as George only teaches grades 11 and 12).
I told Kru Mai that both David and I are exhausted by the weekend, having to deal with the grade 7, 8 and 9s all the time too.
I asked if students had raised any issues about my classes and he said no, everything seemed to be fine, which was nice to hear. He seemed to be happy with both me and David.
Also, I can’t remember if I wrote about it here before but last week there was a message from the head of our department that parents had made complaints about the quality of teaching in our classes, as their children had reported back that other students would be sleeping, playing on their phones or doing their make-up instead of paying attention.
Complaints were made in person to the director so our department was warned that we would be checked up on this week. I hadn’t noticed any real changes or effort on the part of the teachers but I also haven’t been around much either.
With the exchange students being here, it has also made things a little more chaotic with teachers being pulled here and there at random times, too.
At the weekend, I showed Bruno and Amy the warning from the head and we talked about it a little bit. Today, Kru Mai mentioned it to me too, telling me that it was a grade 7 student who had complained and it was particularly about Kru Ren’s class.
I could’ve guessed as much but didn’t think much else about it until I got home and Amy said that it was actually her friend Goy’s sister-in-law who complained to the director and her daughter, who is a smart student and is attentive and wants to learn is being bullied by the other students for being a goodie-two-shoes and to give them her work so that they can all copy it!
Chiang Rai is so small that everyone is at about three degrees of separation rather than the stereotypical six.
Anyway, the kid seems smart and I want to meet her.
I took this picture because these colourful flowers stood out in the dull grey-green of the day as I made my way through the garden at House.
I want to see the grief expressed Hear the kind words manifest Let me celebrate the life I led To become immortal now I’m dead
You don’t need to shed those tears I got to enjoy so many years But being gone is a long, long time Don’t forget me and what was mine
What wishes made, to have been said Or ones wished retracted instead Look on my legacy for what it’s worth You’ll too join me soon, returned to earth
You and me, will all be forgot Ladies and gentlemen, that’s your lot!
Inspired by reading others’ poems about grief at dVerse this week and the idea of wanting to know how others feel about you once you are gone, much like my teenage student, who, after attempting suicide, said that she wanted to see her mother’s reaction once she was gone!
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and a little sick with a sore throat. I slept for almost twelve hours and crawled back in again at around 11 am, after a couple of coffees.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy told me that she was talking to a village auntie (the cowman’s wife) over the fence this morning and asked if I was teaching at CRPAO. Amy said yes and the auntie said that her son is in grade 8 and that even though I don’t teach him, she has heard that I’m a good and kind teacher.
That was nice to hear.
The best thing about today was:
Eating some nice food at Bruno and Nut’s place this evening. Even though I was feeling a little tired and sick, I enjoyed eating, talking and listening with them.
Something I learned today?
I watched an interesting video about a new DAW in development called Blockhead. Even though I don’t even use the DAWs that I have, I would still be interested in the idea of playing with them one day.
I have fallen into a habit of writing at a cafe near my school. It’s fairly quiet and with a bit of reading of other people’s writing, I am usually inspired to write a poem or two myself.
The downside to this is that I have found it more difficult to write at other times and so when it is the weekend or school holidays I have to force myself more to find the time and place to write.
I have a blog policy to only have one post a day and have been adding a poem a day for the last three years or so. Up until about six months ago, I was always a week behind with posts but since using many different prompt blogs I’ve managed to get a couple of months ahead, so posts will still keep coming even after I’m gone!
As a writer, I find it important to read as much as possible. Books-wise I pick ones that I am interested in but blog and poetry-wise I’m still refining what interests me, sometimes slogging through poems and prose that doesn’t engage me at all. That is still a lesson for myself though, helping me to define more what it is that I want to say.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good after a slow start. I wasn’t sure which way things were going to go as I could easily have slept until 10 am given the chance.
However, I was up at 6 am and did a little testing workout and now all Amy’s cookies are gone, I’m slowly losing some weight again!
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Mai organising another two hours for me to teach on Monday morning after having that time freed up with the grade 12 HAP students off for three months training.
Initially, when I approached him about it he said that I could have free time and he was a little surprised when I told him that I didn’t want free time but wanted to teach.
The best thing about today was:
Writing and posting a decent poem that got some nice feedback. I’m starting to feel reasonably competent with my writing and getting feedback certainly helps with that.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m still being lazy when I get home from school and just sit watching TV. I want to push myself more but also understand my body may not be so willing these days.
Something I learned today?
I was reminded that today is my old primary student PunPun’s birthday. I haven’t seen her for four years now and I asked her if she kept in touch with her old classmates and I was surprised to hear that she didn’t contact them at all!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Baipad messaged me talking about flying foxes so I regaled her with information about them in the Royal Botanical Gardens in Sydney.
She also talked about making art from animal bones and it reminded me of The Black House and I offered to take her and her friends there if they wished.
I took these pictures to send to Jan and told her that we all miss her. As you can see, Apple and Baipad are both suitably unimpressed at having their pictures taken in the morning.
The crab said to the albatross “Can you take me from here?” “Where do you wish to go?” Asked the albatross “Anywhere away from these sad rocks, To the skies!” The albatross said “Hop in” And opened wide his mouth Enjoying a difficult meal
A little better with my hip, though it kept me tossing and turning all night last night and so when it was light this morning, I just got up. It was only 7am but I felt better for moving.
I had to deal with an army of ants biting my feet in the kitchen as they were retreating inside from the rain overnight. Sadly for them, they are all dead now!
I started doing some weeding before heading off for coffee. I don’t know why. I just saw one and then kept going.
As I was about to get on the bike, the neighbour told me that they will concrete our drives today and so I can park over the road at Auntie’s, where there is lots of space. Everything should be finished soon, making our road much easier to traverse.
As our gardeners were due this morning, I asked Amy to cancel them but they insisted on coming. I guess they need money and know that we are reliable to pay them.
Today I’m grateful for:
The gardeners again. I’m glad that they came in the end as our grass is cut nice and short again making it less likely for snakes to travel through. From my quick inspection it seems that they didn’t manage to destroy any cactuses this time too.
The best thing about today was:
Tangmo coming to visit us a couple of times. After coffee in the morning and grabbing some Swenson’s ice cream, picking up Amy and coming home I’ve done a lot of TV watching and hip resting.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The pain in my hip is out of my control and there’s not much I can do about it. I’m hoping a bit more recovery tonight, otherwise I’ll have to go and waste some time at the hospital.
Something I learned today?
The Swans won this week, smashing the Kangaroos by 79 points. Not a difficult opponent but good to get another win after the small loses over the last two weeks.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I met Nong Kratae at Utopia this morning and she asked me if I would come and help her once a month, as her high school-aged students need more information about IELTS study.
I told her that I could come along one time and see what it is that I might be able to offer.
I took this picture because Piti was doing his best sexy pose this morning.
Pretty good, though I feel like I’m overheating. Not sure if something is going on in my body or it’s just leftover from pushing myself with exercise this morning.
Today should be a relatively easy day at school and hopefully I still feel motivated when I get home and play some guitar. I totally lazed away the weekend and though I don’t feel guilty about it, I still know that I should be doing stuff.
Today I’m grateful for:
Only five students turning up to my first class. They didn’t know where everyone else was and assumed that they were taking the whole week away from school, as from Wed-Fri, they are not at school and supposed to be studying online.
I played a Quizziz of each student’s choice for the first hour and then let them go for the second two hours of our class, so I’m back early for more coffee!
The best thing about today was:
The extra coffee time that turned out well, as I got a couple of nice poems written after doing a bit of reading and thinking.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Another one of my pens went missing today during my class with 2/7. I’m fairly certain that it is Program who is taking them as he is always trying to steal things out of my pocket, never has his own pen and always walks around the room and near the table when I am not there.
I may be wrong but I’ve got my eye on him.
Something I learned today?
As I had some spare time in the morning, I ducked into the grade 10 English class to chat with some of the students I knew and whilst there, Kru Ren came in to teach. He didn’t do anything to try and get the students attention and seemed to be just shouting to no one, as everyone else was either on their phone, playing games or making TikTok videos.
I just don’t get how that is going to work. But what was weird was that meeting some of the students a couple of hours later, I asked them about the class and they were able to talk about the subject fairly coherently. Maybe it got better after I left, or Kru Ren decided to teach in Thai rather than English, so that at least he would be understood.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I stayed back after my last class to talk with Praew some more. I think she is a little bit of an attention seeker in some ways and I’m not totally sure what to believe. With her anxiety, depression and being bullied in class, it is sure to mess with her behaviour.
A little bit down this morning, but not about anything specifically. I think it was still the leftover rust from drinking on Friday. It takes so long for me to recover now that it just isn’t worth it.
I struggled with exercise this morning but glad that I did. I have found some videos that I might try to follow, too. I keep going across different exercise apps, but they all want my money and for some reason I only just now realised I can just follow along with videos instead. I’ll try my first one tomorrow.
I felt much better after my first class, my happy grade 12s and the lesson I had come up with worked well with them, so that gives me confidence for the next two classes that I try it with.
Today I’m grateful for:
My wage (again!). Much of it disappearing already into cat food, the electricity bill and a little shopping. A bit more will disappear tomorrow when I pay off my credit at House.
The best thing about today was:
Kru Tang roping me into helping a trio of primary students with their pronunciation for a presentation that they will give next week. Their English is excellent already and I could only offer minimal advice.
But the best things that came out of it is that for three days next week, many students are away at these competitions so the school will be closed to students. Those not in competitions are to be taught online.
What that means for me, though, is no classes as I don’t have the knowledge or facility to teach online.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Suddenly, the power went out when I was teaching and I was assuming that it was in the whole building, school or area. I continued teaching without missing a beat and writing on the board instead of using the projector.
Something I learned today?
At the end of the class, when the power went out, I discovered that it was just our room where it was out and so I assumed that a breaker had been tripped and now I know where they are.
Another teacher asked me if both of the air conditioning units were on and I wasn’t sure but it made me think afterwards, what if they were? There are two air conditioning units in each classroom, why have them if there is not enough capacity to use them!?
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I sent Baipad and Anchan a translated parable from Khalil Gibran. It is about fear and dealing with it.
I talked it through with Baipad who is not well practiced at understanding allegory or thinking more broadly about things.
I hope that she understood the meaning a little deeper than before.
1994ever 