Here the shadow falls, down into the fog Eyes dead at the singing of the bells Broke by the vicious cards dealt Crawling through the sawdust of these hells
Burying bodies, ten-a-penny Stuffed men once filled with straw All now quiet and meaningless Wondering what it was all for
This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper It never would have come to this If we’d just kept things simpler
Submitted to Shay’s Word Garden – inspired (and borrowed) from T.S.Eliot’s The Hollow Men
Today I’m feeling:
Good, getting better throughout the day. I started off a little dizzy until my meds kicked in.
Both my classes were simple and the kids seem invested in a little reading and understanding. I didn’t push them but the way I structured the reading and questions definitely caught out some of the students who would generally just copy their work.
Today I’m grateful for:
Parthiban in Singapore for paying back his share for the HighVoltage/SpeechOdd 12”, straight back into our Aussie bank account, which will keep Amy happy for a little while!
The best thing about today was:
Being inspired to write a couple of poems during my break between classes. That two hours flew by today as I caught up some reading, thinking about prompts and ideas.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my first class we ran out of time for the last group to read because they were all struggling to understand the questions that I was asking them.
I was surprised at how quickly the time disappeared. Oh well, at least I caught about 85% of the class today.
Something I learned today?
Arwith’s band Piri Reis is supporting Converge in Bangkok in May. He’s going to try and line up a weekend show in Chiang Mai if possible too.
Either way I’d like to catch up with him if he’s here somewhere during a weekend.
What things do I like to collect?
I’ve answered this or a similar question before, answering with music, books, comics but it got me thinking a bit more about how technology has transformed collecting in many ways.
With almost everything available somewhere somehow as a digital file collecting physical items is becoming more of a rich person’s privilege.
Collecting things digitally doesn’t mean much to me but from seeing what some of the younger folks are experimenting with online in games they seem to place value in those things.
I was intrigued whilst watching an online race over three hundred kilometres on a barren planet in one of the sci-fi games where folks collect and trade minerals.
I can understand the appeal of these types of games and there may have been a time I might of dreamed of delving into them but I still have some part of me that clings to the physical.
Unlike those players though I cannot place any value in something that only exists as bits and bytes.
Praewa took this picture because she stole my phone (again). Her face is finally starting to mature as she has had a cute childish face since I’ve known her and it has only recently started changing. She still hasn’t grown taller though which I often tease her about but she could still grow a few more inches yet.
How many vapid words I read today? So much written with nothing to say Some thought many were written by me It’s true, I accept responsibility
“All the flowers shine bright in glory” The charming prince wins every story Look out everyone, it’s yet another verse Praised by all yet poetically worse!
Upbeat though could have done with a couple more hours of sleep. Still, here we are, up and about.
Today I’m grateful for:
This soda water I’m drinking right now. The third of the evening. The temperature is starting to rise a little as the mild winter fades. I’m thirsty and probably going to suffer later having to get up to pee during the night. Never mind. I’m a human being and this is how my body works.
The best thing about today was:
In my first class with grade 10s I was teaching about a topic one of them had chosen – European History. It’s nothing to do with what they are supposed to be learning about but I wanted them to suggest ideas for topics so that I knew it might hold their interest. I found a Middle Ages in 5 Minutes video and used AI to pull out ten questions from it. I grabbed the transcript to print out for the students and as I was expecting, they were quite shocked to see so much text and many words they’d never come across before.
I started the lesson by telling them that the topic is European History and to not be scared of what they are seeing and hearing. What I will be teaching them in the class is English and not history. I advised them that they didn’t have to understand everything and not to stress themselves about it.
First, we watched the video at three-quarter speed and at the end of it, the best English speaker in the class looked at me exasperated saying that she didn’t understand anything! I told her that that was fine and not to give up.
I had drawn up a list of words for them to translate into Thai to help them a little and we talked around those a little to make sure that they had found and understood the correct meanings. Then I had them do a word race, trying to find the word that I said in the text and they all got into that as it was competitive.
Then we watched the video again and, again, the students looked a little confused and lacking confidence. I told them that they are feeling like this because they are expecting to fully understand something before attempting something connected to it. I told them that that is often a luxury we can’t afford when learning something. I said that when we are young children we might watch TV, something that we don’t understand and can’t explain but the words and pictures are making connections in our brains. This is what they have been doing today. They seemed dubious.
Finally, we attempted the quiz which was ten multiple-choice questions. They needed a good understanding of English for them so I guided them with ideas of what to search for in the text, asking them questions, prompting and testing. They all struggled through the first few questions but slowly they started being able to answer them more swiftly and I stopped them at one point praising them and reminding them of how they had arrived at this point.
Usually, these students are itching to go and eat as the class is before lunch but today we ran over time as they were all quite pleased at what they had done today. Maybe they will remember little of the details of today but next time they are faced with what seems an ominous task they will feel more confident. Perhaps some will be reminded of some of the information when they see pictures of old cathedrals or hear the names of some English and French kings.
That was a great lesson for all of us today!
And then….for my second class, I split my grade 7’s into random groups of 5 or 6 and had them come read together and answer questions with spoken English, rather than writing, where it is easy to copy each other’s answers.
This really tested some of the students who think they can cruise through by copying. This is not the best method of teaching but compared with what I see going on in some other classrooms I’m hoping it is a little more effective and encouraging for the students.
I was happy with the way this class went too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Last night Amy was in a tipsy playful mood and while I was already in bed, settled into a book, she came in looking serious. She said she wanted to talk to me seriously about something. This was a bit surprising to me as she had been happy with her wine most of the evening. I said ‘ok’, not really knowing what to expect.
Her face was serious and she looked teary and struggled to say words, hiding her face in a shameful manner. I was still slightly bemused but also on my guard. What is she going to tell me? What is so difficult to say? What happened? I was mentally and physically preparing for a confession of infidelity.
Finally, after a few minutes of this acting, she proffered ‘Do you think I should get my nose heightened? I know you like it small but I want it to be bigger.’ She laughed and cackled at this and I reminded her (as we have talked about this before) that I love her little nose but if she’s not happy with it then she can do what she wants.
She asked me ‘What would you do if I told you I had cheated on you?’ I stoically said ‘If that happened, we’d have to talk it out and decide what to do.’ Ultimately that is all that gets done in that situation whether it’s amicable or not.
Amy went off back to her wine and movie and I congratulated myself on my calm in such a situation. It was good to practice going through an emotional test like this. Occasionally, I will walk through situations in my head to see how I might react, mentally preparing. It’s not always effective but it’s better than being knocked off your feet by things.
Something I learned today?
Over the last few days, I’ve been watching more Little Chinese Everywhere videos as Yan was travelling through Iran. I learned a lot about their local crafts and was reminded of how wonderful and welcoming the people there are. I would have loved to have gone there when I was younger but I have lost the travel bug a little recently.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
With it being Valentine’s Day, as is tradition here, students were giving out heart stickers to each other and to me too. I also had some extra candies. When I ran out of those I peeled off the stickers from my shirt and passed them on to students, hoping to be sticker-free by the time I got home.
I remember last year finding these stickers in the washing machine, even weeks later because there were still some stuck on my shirt when I put it in the wash.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 17. Think About Others. Just be mindful, that’s all. We all have families, bills to pay, and our own issues. Don’t always make everything about yourself.
I believe that I am quite good at this but I would say that I do not involve myself with others lives unless invited.
I’m not a chatterbox or the type of person who charms up banal conversation to form connections.
Perhaps that makes me a little standoffish, maybe even self-centred but actually I care very much about people and what is going on with them and I will help when I can and forgive when they have their own things going on.
Miyor took this picture because she came to take a photo of my computer screen and I joked that she wanted a picture of me. I’ll try and get a haircut this weekend.
Healthier and more positive. I still have some lurking sore throat and stuffy nose but the tiredness has dissipated for now.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s mum who gave us bananas from her garden and we gifted some to Auntie Sue next door when we got home. More food grows here than anyone can eat.
The best thing about today was:
Watching all the students that dressed up for the Chinese New Year event. All the primary kids looked super cute and I was particularly taken by one boy who was part of a dance group on the stage who was really into it. He couldn’t stop himself from dancing to all the other acts even after being done on stage. I like the traditional Chinese dress more than Thai.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Kru Paul mentioned today that they were having a party this week for the primary sub-director as he said she was retiring but then he went on to say that she would become the department head for English next semester in high school. Meaning she would be our boss!
I wasn’t sure if he was pulling my leg to get a reaction but I played along, saying that I hoped she wouldn’t expect good English from the students as the primary kids are better than most of our high schoolers due to exposure to so much English whilst there.
I was sufficiently intrigued about this possibility though that I talked to Kru Mai and asked him who would be the department head next semester and he said that it would still be him. He then went on to say that he’s thinking to spread out our classes next year so that I won’t have to teach grade 7s so much.
I had been thinking to mention this to him previously so I’m glad it’s already something he’s thinking about. However, anything can happen. I don’t even know if they will still want me to work there next semester yet.
Something I learned today?
I learned that Funfai is three-quarters Chinese! I wasn’t particularly surprised at this as she has stereotypically beautiful almond-shaped eyes. I often forget how much Chinese influence there is here in north Thailand.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My grade 10s were exhausted from selling food at their stall all morning and when they turned up for my class they pleaded for me not to teach. As it was a one-hour class and I was just prepping them for their full 2-hour class tomorrow I acceded to their demands. They promised me that they would work hard to complete everything tomorrow.
I took this picture because I took these girls’ phones from them as they weren’t concentrating on doing my work. As I did this BB, on the left, grabbed my phone off my desk and took this selfie with Tulip. I got my phone back and then proceeded to fill Tulip’s phone with hundreds of random photos as punishment.
Sore. My back and knees are complaining after stressing them yesterday whilst cleaning out the sink drain.
Today I’m grateful for:
The parking guys with their whistles at Makro. I don’t know why they are necessary or why they blow their whistles so much as it’s impossible to understand if it means anything. I almost ran the guy over because I had a clear reverse behind me and he was the only thing in the way!
The best thing about today was:
Spending a few hours in my room, catching up on reading, sorting music, downloading and listening and then practising guitar. I want to spend more time doing this but I still don’t really enjoy being in that room anymore.
Something I learned today?
The average age of a Ukrainian soldier right now is 43!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I followed up with Earn, asking her the same question as I did about six weeks ago – Tell me five things you like about yourself. Her answers are better than last time. Less focused on looks and more focused on feelings and emotions.
What is a happy memory from my childhood?
I’ve lots of snippets of memories that are not particularly happy or sad, just things that happened. Some may have felt ecstatic at the time such as playing football at school or tragic like the time I cracked my eyebrow open on the edge of a step but at this distance, they are just events. I consider my childhood to be memories until I was about halfway through middle school, pre-pubescent. After that, I consider myself a teenager until I was forty!
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 11. Lead the Way. When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You’re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.
Before going through teenage depression I thought that I could be a leader. After that though, I mostly wanted to keep my head down though I still had a selfish streak of arrogance which popped up from time to time.
Whilst doing DIY punk things in Sydney I never felt like a leader but did hope that I was an inspiration for others and I can think of two friends for sure who did take something from what I was doing and ran with it themselves.
Now, at school, in Thailand, I consider myself the same. Not as a leader but as an inspiration. I want to inspire my students to become the best of themselves. I don’t work for prizes and awards and I don’t want to be managing other adults. I don’t want to lead people in such a way as to tell them what to do. Rather than leading I just want to be doing something. Anything. Just do it.
I took this picture because this was one of the few super cute kittens that were jumping around, playing and sleeping on this spirit house at the Night Bazaar last night.
Positive and happy this morning. A little bit of that Friday feeling despite being a little tired due to a crazy pee dream that was trying to wake me up. I was so aware that in my dream I was even telling myself that this wasn’t just a pee dream but just that I was peeing in my dream. I was trying to convince myself to keep dreaming.
But eventually, it was too much as the bucket I was peeing into starting overflowing even after emptying it one time. I groggily got up to go to the bathroom hoping against hope that there were still many more hours to sleep but getting back to sleep was difficult because I kept thinking about the dream.
Predictably, it felt like as soon as I got back into a deep sleep my alarm went off.
Today I’m grateful for:
A few folks taking the time to comment on a couple of poems that I’ve written in connection to some prompts. I’m at the stage of looking for prompts in other new places for inspiration – though I’m rarely ever short of ideas to be honest. Just looking for a bit of variety and some more challenges. By taking part in the prompt challenges it is bringing new people to come and look at this blog, which I appreciate. I’m not particularly after clicks or likes.
The best thing about today was:
Four hours sitting, writing, thinking, drinking coffee.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Two students, Kwang and Pang, pushed me too far today. I wasn’t angry and not outwardly upset but they have both shown me a lot of attitude recently.
I like them both and I’ve tried to help them more than other students and I’m sad to feel disrespected by them after all the chances I’ve given them. We’re near the end of this semester now and I’ll tell them not to bother coming to my classes because I don’t want them disturbing everyone else.
I just told them to pack up their stuff and go. The class was much better after that.
Something I learned today?
Pigs can’t look up into the sky due to the anatomy of their neck muscles and spine.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Nomsen came to class this afternoon looking a bit frazzled and her friends told me that she’d been crying and she quickly covered her face as more tears came. Without making a fuss I left her to it with her friends.
I was asking students random questions about music and instruments and I came around to her when she had stopped crying but she was obviously thinking about something else. I was guessing it was about a boy. She soon asked to go to the bathroom with her friend and I didn’t question it like I might do at other times, thinking maybe she’ll feel better when she gets back.
They were gone for about 30 minutes I’m guessing, and when they got back they caught up with their work as quickly as they could. When Nomsen came to hand in her work she seemed better so I asked her what happened today.
She was quiet at first so I asked if it was about a boy and she shook her head and offered… ‘it’s my uncle…’ Oh no, I thought, maybe he’s in hospital or died, so I said ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ and gave her a hug.
On writing this I’m worried that she may have meant something else by her comment but I really hope not. I just messaged her to see if she was feeling better and she said she’s ok. I hope so.
I took this picture because two new pups were outside the gate this morning and were friendly. Tangmo came running over and lots of play fighting ensured and he got so happy he ran at full pace around the teaching room three times without stopping.
You can’t keep your dreams under a mattress Where they’ll be surely forgotten and flat They have value worthy of investment There’s really nothing better than that
First line appropriated and the rest inspired by a thought from David Elikwu’s newsletter
Today I’m feeling:
I woke up tired but was able to easily plough through my abs workout because I had things on my mind. I feel a little in and out of depression too but it’s very vague and dissipates quickly. I think some days I wonder if what I’m doing is actually worthwhile. It happens.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nancy and Aob at TLC for helping me get my visa sorted out since I forgot to get the re-entry permit last October! Despite the hard time they give me and the amount of money they make off me I still appreciate what they’ve done to help fix this.
The best thing about today was:
Getting another year’s stay in Thailand with my new visa. Though whilst I was sitting there watching the officer stamp and shuffle papers I started to brood on the fact of how much longer am I going to go through this annoying process. Tomorrow I’ll probably forget about all this until next November when I’ll have to start preparing for the next application again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got the message that next week I have to help in the Primary school for Scout week. It probably will be pretty easy but not as preferable as doing nothing, or even as a regular workweek. Still, a change can be good.
Something I learned today?
From The Jimmy Dore Show on YouTube:
The Internet was abuzz recently after MSNBC host Joy-Ann Reid, while showing a video of Joe Biden, was caught by a “hot mic” revealing her true feelings about Biden by saying “… starting another fucking war.”
Of course, Reid would never have intentionally said anything so overtly anti-Biden on the air, so she was forced to apologize, although she only mentioned having dropped the “f word.”
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
As I passed Rista after class on the third floor of building six I saw that she had some rubbish to throw away. As I already had my coffee cup to take to the bin I offered to take hers too for which she gave her appreciation.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 10. Pick an Industry, Not A Job. If you want to become good at something, you need to spend years and years doing that. You can’t do that if you hop from industry to industry. Pick an industry you love and start at the bottom. You will find the perfect role for you eventually.
It seems kind of incomprehensible to me that I would ever have a choice of the kind of work or job I would do. When I left school at sixteen any job was considered good and a starting point. There were also more jobs available back then too.
When I started my first long-term job it wasn’t something that I was particularly interested in (electrical wholesale) but I did enjoy the hard work when I was a storeman and did work my way up to be the buyer. I wasn’t interested in progressing any further though, which would’ve meant becoming a manager.
With the opportunity of moving to Australia, I discovered an interest in computing (beyond just playing video games) and was able to spend a year or so studying for that. Then I got in at a low level and worked my way up and sideways for the next 18 years. Once again I was not interested in (or offered) a management role.
While working an office job I knew one thing and that was that I loved coffee! After getting laid off it was a simple step to take courses learning to be a barista or bartender and I got into making coffee until injury stopped me short.
Moving to Thailand then forced me to make the decision to become a teacher because there are only a few things that a foreigner is allowed to do here for work. With each change of job or industry, I’ve always pushed myself to work hard to learn what I can about it. Teaching has really tested me but when I get it right I do love what I’m doing.
As I mentioned above though, there are times when I am unsure of myself and can’t balance the effort-to-reward ratio properly in my head.
I feel that the idea of this question is a little privileged. Many, maybe even most people, don’t have choices a lot of the time and just have to take the opportunities that they can get.
A little vague and blurry but positive. I feel like I could easily sleep if given the opportunity.
Despite being tired and hungry when I got home last night and then only a little to satisfy myself I found that I was still reading comics at 11.30 and then it took me a fair while to actually go to sleep.
The morning alarm was a bit of a shock and for a brief moment, I contemplated snoozing it but made it up instead.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finally being able to crack the last part of the song that I was struggling to complete on guitar.
The best thing about today was:
My small grade 10 class again today who were a pleasure to teach and just talk with in general as the topic was about relationships. My lesson was more focused on romantic relationships but many of the points cross over to any kind of relationship.
As the English level of most of the class is quite poor I depended on the two good speakers to help translate some points and I could see that they were all able to understand to one degree or another.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a message today from Nancy about not signing out when leaving school, which I haven’t done for about 2 years now. She said ‘they’ would reduce my wages. If they reduce my wages anymore I’ll have to start paying them to work! She asked me to message Kru Tang, which I did and she asked me to sign out and I said that I would. She didn’t mention anything about reducing wages though. Let’s see what happens next month.
Something I learned today?
Last year the USA beat all previous records for sales of weapons to the rest of the world. When is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the USA wants more war to make more money?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I was pleased to see a couple of my usually lazy students pushing themselves a little more today so I made sure to praise them with personal messages this evening.
I took these pictures, as I mentioned last week because Cap was sitting here but decided to get up as soon as I got down to take a picture of him, so I took this series as he walked towards me.
A little bit slow again but I was able to take it pretty easy with my classes today. I was still tired and hungry by the end of the work day though.
Today I’m grateful for:
The last bagel in the freezer that I ate for dinner. Thanks, Nut! It’s probably been in the freezer for more that six months already but, well, that’s what freezers are for, right!?
The best thing about today was:
Finding out that next week is Scout Week again. I initially cheered when David told me but then he reminded me that last year we ended up doing some silly useless tasks (that I decided to enjoy at the time).
Either way – it’s a whole week out of the classroom (again!)
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy called while I was at House saying that she would stay in the city as the new owners of the apartments that Mum sold were having a housewarming party. The plan was for me to pick her up after I finished work, we go home and then I bring her back to get the truck in the morning.
When I got there though Amy was still happily drinking and talking whilst I was tired and hungry and itching to get home. I stayed for a while but when Aun came back from work she offered to bring Amy home later and I quickly agreed that that was a good idea even though I would have to find my own food.
Of course, I could’ve just come straight home after work but I tried not to think about that.
Something I learned today?
Whilst watching Jerry Grey talking about the possibility of war between China and the USA he brought up a point that makes some sense, about who would fight for the USA in a conventional war.
This got me wondering about the fact that so many Americans are in debt and many are also homeless. Is this being done on purpose so that when a serious war might arise the military will be able to easily incentivise joining up as a way for citizens to get back into the black?
Could they be that cynical or is it my own cynical streak coming through?
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
With writing up old things into this blog I’ve been talking online a little more often with Rich Levine and will also drop an email to Rob again at some point. He still doesn’t use much of this new-fangled technological stuff and only has email.
I did wait fairly patiently for Amy this afternoon. Was it a vile deed to leave when it became convenient? Perhaps, but hunger and tiredness can do that to a man.
My student Nudee stayed back in class after everyone had left and I saw that she was doing some of her own self study with a Kumon workbook. It looked like a very useful study aid for her and she said she has been using them for about three years to improve herself. Later she sent me a message that she had received a certificate from them for being in the top 5% of around 3000 students in Thailand. She was ecstatic and I told her I was proud of her too.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 9. Take More Risks. Don’t be such a wimp.
I think this one would be more appropriate for me ten years ago than today. Though ten years ago I was still big into risks – such as moving to a non-English speaking country to live. These days I’m not so big on the risk taking.
As the body’s inevitable decline edges ever closer I’m not so keen on taking physical risks though I suppose I might get further beyond that at some point and just think ‘fuck it’ such as sky diving when I’m 90 or something.
I suppose I still take some risks with money as I’m still investing in releasing records that I’m not certain I can sell. Those are low-level financial risks balanced by spiritual rewards. I’m not going to sink all my money into trying to make a business out of it now.
Amy is still considering the risk of opening a restaurant in Australia which would easily see us use up all our money and probably go into debt. I’m not so keen on this idea though I will happily support her because I think she could do it well. Whatever happened financially though, the stress levels of pursuing that dream might be enough to make me very unhappy. My mindset would probably change though once this plan was executed.
I guess I’m just happy with my life where it is right now and thinking that I would miss this. Once getting into the maelstrom of something though my survival instincts would likely kick in.
I took these pictures on Sunday because this is where I drove to so that Amy’s mum and dad could leave gifts and give thanks because they had come here before to ask for good luck to sell the apartments and within a month they had sold. I don’t know the reason that they came here or even why these monuments are located here, directly opposite a T-junction.
When you are walking towards your maker Be prepared with the biggest machine gun Point it right between their eyes And ask them first, ‘What have I done?’
Ask your questions, demanding proof Let there be no pulling of the leg Your maker may only pronounce the truth ‘What came first, the chicken or the egg?’
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good but a little tired despite sleeping quite well.
I can feel my muscles aching from the exercising that I’ve been doing. Not just aching but feels like them splitting and dividing under my skin. It’s a tolerable pain that indicates growth, at least to my monkey brain. It doesn’t feel like an injury though my right shoulder is still definitely injured. I need to find some exercises where I can still use my arms and chest without injuring the shoulder further. I adapted my normal arms workout this morning to compensate and that went ok.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bronwyn sending me some old photos of me, my mum and my dad. These are pictures that my mum had and I had seen from time to time in my youth.
They were passed onto Bronwyn to leave for Hayden in the future but I’m glad to see them again.
I also found out that there was a book that my mum wrote quotes and poetry in and I’m interested to see that at some point.
The best thing about today was:
Teaching the new grade 10 class and describing what would happen in real life if they failed to do the work that they are employed to do, just as some students did last week for my class work when I wasn’t there and assigned them something to do in my absence.
I described our classroom as the place of employment, myself as the boss and them as the employees. I showed them on the board that I was promoting some of my employees and demoting others and that in our classroom this would be indicated by grades.
Everyone started at grade 2 (in the middle) but the students who did my work are now at grade 3 whilst those that didn’t are now at grade 1. This certainly got everyone’s attention. I told them that in a real-life work situation, they would likely no longer have a job!
I really enjoyed explaining this and I could see the satisfaction on the newly promoted students faces. All they had to do was what was asked and they’ve been rewarded. I feel like there was some real learning happening and it made me happy to see. I kept the mood light throughout all this but they understood the ramifications of their actions.
In the second act of synchronicity for the day, I read this in an online newsletter and messaged the class to discuss its meaning:
“’I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’”
Even writing this is making me feel somewhat smug! Haha.
Something I learned today?
There’s an ant species that’s unique to New York City, known as the ManhattAnt.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I’ve been trying to get Baipad to describe her own personality to me because she described her cousin’s personality as similar to her own but she could only answer with ‘you already know.’ I tried to explain that we see ourselves differently from how others see us.
This morning I sat down with her and Jan, with Apple sitting opposite and I said, ‘Come on, let’s play a game. Here’s a list of adjectives, pick ten that describe Apple and we had fun doing that for ten minutes. As I left I told them that tomorrow we will do the same for Jan. And at the weekend I will ask Baipad again to see if she can answer for herself.
I sat with one of my poor grade 7 students (Nut) in class this morning and helped her a lot with trying to understand the text we were reading and how to answer the questions. Some days she is ok to accept my help and today was one of those. When I went to help others she pulled me back to finishing helping her first. I was glad to see this and I think she was glad of my help. She will never be a great English speaker but she is doing all that I ask of her.
I sent a message to JubJib reminding her that perfection is a myth. She happily admits to requiring perfection from herself.
What do I need to embrace about myself?
I’ve become more accepting of my own foibles as I’ve aged. As a sign of maturity, I don’t tend to do things that I wish I hadn’t any more. I’m equating embracing and acceptance here but they feel quite comparable at this age. I am happy with myself and understand myself very well. I know my weaknesses and attempt to improve them slowly without punishing myself.
Where do I hope to be one year from now?
This is an interesting question for me this time as I feel a little in limbo. I am very happy where I am but also considering where do I go from here?
I could quite comfortably maintain my life the way it is. I have no real goals to aim for these days, just continuous improvement. This feels possible due to stability and not having to deal with other stresses that come with the pursuit of new things.
In this way, I’m quite happy to defer to Amy’s ideas about what she wants in the future. That may be a big shock when it comes time for action though, this I know.
Should I have a specific goal for this coming year? I don’t feel particularly ambitious.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 5. Exercise Daily. I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?
I was quite athletic as a child, particularly loving football but once I discovered booze and cigarettes that all slowly went downhill.
Since finally being mostly free of those vices I have started exercising and by doing it first thing in the morning I’ve been able to slowly introduce and lengthen the time spent doing it as I also slowly started to feel the benefits.
Previously I would consistently make the mistake of overdoing the exercise when I would feel the need to get back into it. It’s a mistake probably 80% of us make.
But as I was reading more about developing habits and starting small and as I’ve been teaching my kids about doing things little by little, that idea has slowly slipped into my own brain to find a better way.
Perhaps when I was younger I didn’t want to admit that I was aging. As it took many years to develop this beer belly I’ve accepted that it will take many years to lose it too.
Again, as synchronicity goes, I also just read this:
“The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, being more productive, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.” – Charles Duhigg
I took this picture last week because I was fascinated by the symmetry of this freshly sprouted pineapple. No new pictures today.
Good and positive again. I can feel that I have a better attitude and more energy in the days that I exercise in the morning and that I should also force myself to do this on weekends and holidays as I often just fall into laziness then.
Today I’m grateful for:
The little female (age indefinable) petrol pump assistant who double-checked what I wanted and then, after filling the car, gave me two bottles of water. She tried to explain about the water but I didn’t understand. I just assumed that they were free!
The best thing about today was:
Taking time with a couple of my troublesome students this afternoon and helping them get a better idea of a grammar point. I felt relief and joy when they started getting the answers right by themselves. I even managed to get a smile out of one of them.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My first class today with grade 8s was a little wearisome. Some days it feels like they just insist on not learning. I stayed relatively calm but inside I feel a little tired and deflated from it.
Something I learned today?
The single most expensive item for the British in the American Civil War was rum.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
We went to the temple again for some follow-up Buddhist things for Grandmum. I did as was directed though wasn’t sure about any of what was happening. In the end, we served monks food and everyone (except me) at lunch too.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO 3. Spend Time with People You Love. That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.
My tribe is my family these days. I’m not particularly close to anyone except for Amy and I’m fine with that. If I ever need to make new relationships they will come naturally from within my tribe.
The internet definitely has made things easier to stay in contact with my tribe, who are scattered all around the world.
Whilst the ease of communication keeps us together, our tribe survives apart.
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