“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Tanka inspired by this Substack post by Nilofer Neubert
Struggle in the quicksand and you only sink deeper.
Eric Barker
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to see a beautiful crescent moon and a bright Mars in the dark morning sky, bordered by the trees of our wonderful garden. Wow.
Quoting the Dispossessed
A scientist can pretend that his work isn’t himself, it’s merely the impersonal truth. An artist can’t hide behind the truth. He can’t hide anywhere.
I took note of this quote last year when I was reading Ursula Le Guin’s ‘The Dispossessed’ as it obviously struck a chord. And re-reading it, it still strikes a chord but I’m struggling to define it. Is it true? An artist can’t hide behind the truth? A scientist, I understand, doesn’t have to care that 1 = 1 and 2 = 2. An artist, even if faking it, still shows their truth. Or can a really good artist actually hide?
Perhaps I took note of this considering myself as an artist? Today, I’m doubtful, but whatever. I’m putting this out into the world as an artistic skill (good or bad depending on your opinion) but my tablet is a search for truth. I cannot hide. But what of the fiction writer – they are artists. They could write about unspeakable acts that they would never dare carry out. Are they hiding, or are they still showing a truth?
I don’t know. And I wish my friend Steve was here to dig into this deeper. It is exactly the kind of topic that we would love to discuss long into the nights and early into the mornings. Although things seemed murkier then, they somehow also seemed clearer.
Yesterday, got home feeling good. Had a really great class with the grade 8 TED-Ed students that had me feeling very upbeat. I made it into my room for more keyboard experimentation and a little guitar playing before Amy called me in as it was time for termite attack mode.
We poured about eight litres of the killing liquid into the hole and it all disappeared. I’m thinking that down there, they must have eaten through the concrete foundations and so it’s possible the liquid is getting soaked into the earth. It’s likely that the termites will be back again at some point, no matter what we do.
After that, I was just chilling and munching on Amy’s yummy tarts that she had made. I also started to feel some minor dread at her not being here. I have made some plans in my mind about how the days will be from next week but they could all go to hell in a handbasket quite easily once it comes down to actually implementing them. I guess I’m also preparing for that possibility too. Just relax into it. Things will be ok.
A good morning this morning. Cold and a beautiful crescent moon in the sky, with a crocodile-looking cloud right on the mountains on the horizon.
During my abs workout, I noticed a tightness in my thighs from the previous day’s leg workout and it all feels good. Working towards that target of ongoing good health.
I started my first class just by watching funny cat videos, which most students ignored cos they were looking at their phones – but it made me feel happy and calm. Subsequently, the class went well. Though they are not the best at English, at least they gave it their best. 2/9 continues to impress me and it’s got me thinking about if I teach them next year, then what the hell can I do with them? They are so good that they test me.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
I don’t really think about birthdays and any celebration is minor and usually involves just going for a nice meal somewhere. I don’t feel any kind of excitement around celebratory days. For me, they are just another day.
I don’t mind celebrating other people’s special days and I would be in trouble if I didn’t partake in our wedding anniversaries! But again, these celebrations generally revolve around food and getting a nice meal somewhere.
The misery that oppresses you lies not in your profession but in yourself!
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Gratitude Journal
I’m so happy and grateful for our big palm trees that provide hours of entertainment as Tangmo loves to play with the old fallen fronds. I don’t know why!
Classes went well this morning, with 2/9 again proving they are awesome and I’m wondering if that is due to the fact that Bruno taught them for 2 or 3 years when they were in primary school. I hope this class continues to get pushed because they are very capable. Whilst there are some bright sparks in the other classes, the dynamic within them is not conducive to learning. It’s a shame for them.
Anyway, I’m feeling good again today. Forced myself out of bed and did a back and shoulder workout in the hope of strengthening support for my neck. I know I shouldn’t lie down to watch TV or lie in bed reading but can’t help myself. Fixing those two things could be all I need. I’ll attempt them when Amy is not here.
Yesterday I got stuck into the termites behind (and in) the washing machine. Their nest is a pain in the ass to clean – basically mud, both dry and wet. As I was cleaning up, it occurred to me that this may be like an iceberg, with a nest much bigger behind the tiny hole in the wall. We ended up pouring a whole bottle of anti-termite powder down that hole – who knows how big it is down there?
Amy suggested we pour some kind of liquid killer down there next and maybe 4 litres won’t be enough. What are the predators of termites – and where are they? I thought the lizards would be enjoying snacking on them but maybe they get through the mud to them. Nature is wonderful. I just wish it wasn’t in my kitchen.
Most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers.
Jubal, A Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to find new workout apps that I can use for my mornings. Slowly starting to exercise more parts of my body.
Good classes this morning and feeling a little more positive. Never much time on a Tuesday though, and I’m rushing a coffee and maybe a little lesson planning. Things are OK. I feel myself consciously counting down the time until Amy leaves, thinking about things that ned to be done before she goes.
The fucking termites are back behind the washing machine again and need to be cleaned out. Maybe tonight.
(Later) I forgot that Amy is having dinner guests tonight so the termites get another day of building. Their nest is halfway up the back of the washing machine!
Tired now at home, no energy to play guitar or potter in my room. I’ll do a little writing and watching TV, happy knowing that tomorrow I’ll only have one class so can spend some time catching up on other things.
1994ever 