You said you loved me
And wanted me to grow
That’s just what I did
So that soon I would know
You never really believed it
Your words were purely fake
To make yourself feel superior
In the image that you make

The things you can’t control
Frustrating you no end
Face your rejection, unless
To your will, they bend
Empty words now revealed
You’ve thrown off your disguise
Shown for what you really are
As your true colour flies

Carry on manipulating
Those cast under your spell
But it’s a conditional love
Where the stress begins to tell
Already old before your time
One day you’ll walk alone
Leaving friends to wonder why
Your heart was filled with stone

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Most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers.

Jubal, A Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein

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Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to find new workout apps that I can use for my mornings. Slowly starting to exercise more parts of my body.

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Good classes this morning and feeling a little more positive. Never much time on a Tuesday though, and I’m rushing a coffee and maybe a little lesson planning. Things are OK. I feel myself consciously counting down the time until Amy leaves, thinking about things that ned to be done before she goes.

The fucking termites are back behind the washing machine again and need to be cleaned out. Maybe tonight.

(Later) I forgot that Amy is having dinner guests tonight so the termites get another day of building. Their nest is halfway up the back of the washing machine!

Tired now at home, no energy to play guitar or potter in my room. I’ll do a little writing and watching TV, happy knowing that tomorrow I’ll only have one class so can spend some time catching up on other things.