Tag: Thai style

The Horror – 2nd July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Unrecognised alive
Ash and dust
Swirl around your eyes
As the grim sun starves
Flies start investigating
The first on-scene
To witness the horror

An unrecognised state
Take a breath
Before the bullet
Where revenge rises from the shadows
Books and bodies burned
On the wrong side of the fence
The olive trees have no branches

One day, one day
God’s wrath will flood the earth again

Inspired by Palestinian poet, Noor Hindi.
Submitted to Weekly Prompts -The One-Day Prompt (3)

Today I’m feeling:

Happy, though a bit undecided.  I woke up with a start, enjoying my sleep and a sexy dream (with Amy) and struggled through my first 20-minute video exercise, which made me feel good but also on the edge of over-exertion.

At school, the kids that I regularly visit in the morning were all in pretty good moods, and we chatted and played a little.  Now I’m waiting for the first coffee to kick in before heading back to school early to help Kru Tang again, and then my first class of the day with my grade 8s.

Today I’m grateful for:

Gui for allowing me credit again last month and then for getting paid and being able to pay off the debt.

The best thing about today was:

I felt a bit rushed today but still got a few things done. I got to Kru Tang at 9.30 and whilst waiting for her students to arrive, my grade 11 students were doing an online speaking exercise that instantly gave them a CEFR and IELTS score. 

I tried to help them a little bit and also thought it would be a good test to do with my other students too.

Something I learned today?

As I was leaving school yesterday, a car drove by and a shout came, ‘Hey, Teacher Shaun’.  I looked around and waved back to see ShinChan driving an old car.  This morning I saw him and asked him how old he is, to which he replied, 15!

He told me that he lives with his dad and they have a motorbike and a car.  Sometimes his dad will take the motorbike, so he has to take the car to get himself to school.

He has a motorbike license, but I don’t think he can get a car license until he is 18.  He knows to be careful, but could get caught out if someone crashes into him.

It’s good that he has taken some responsibility at an early age, and I have to chuckle a little at the way things work here.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I caught up with Anchan briefly this morning and found out that her mum should be home in a couple of weeks’ time. That’s great news for her if it happens.

Sitting with Baipad and Fahmai this morning, Fahmai said that Baipad is smart and beautiful. I told him that Baipad doesn’t think that she is and asked him why he thought that might be. He said he couldn’t understand that, and she quickly stated, ‘I’m not confident’. Hopefully, these kind words her friends say about her are remembered and will accumulate to bring her confidence in the future. Fahmai said that he is smart and beautiful, demonstrating his confidence.

Later on I was chatting online with both of them and I asked them about whether they did anything kind today which they both found something to say about each other. Well, that’s a start.

Kids playing together, July 2024. Earn, Dena, Namthip, Nicha and Fah, my old students, now grade 9.

Morning Glory – 28th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Remember, everything is going to be alright
Or else you’ll fill yourself up with spite
You may either inspire or sometimes bore me
Either way, I’m just telling myself a story

Today I’m feeling:

Feeling ok today. Not particularly enthusiastic about anything but not down on anything either.

Today I’m grateful for:

The last serving of Amy’s fake duck with rice from the freezer. I’ve managed to spread out all the meals she left for me for three months. I really love that she did that for me.

The best thing about today was:

Finding out I have another week off before heading back to school. Woohoo! I was sure we would start again on Monday but held out hope that it would be the following Monday and so it is!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I thought I would be taking Runa to the airport this evening for her flight back to Bangkok and around midday she called and asked if it was ok to come over at around 4 pm when her cousin would drop her off. Sure no problem. I was tired from getting up early again and couldn’t resist an afternoon snooze and when I woke up it was already 5 pm. I tidied up a little (a very little!) and went to do some watering by which time it was 6 pm and Runa called again saying she was still in the city and not to worry about taking her to the airport. Well, ok! This is Thailand and I’m used to this flexibility now and not bothered if it doesn’t really affect me too much. I’ve probably also learned not to put myself in situations where I may be reliant on people who are unreliable therefore avoiding any drama.

Something I learned today?

Amy met Nong May and her boyfriend Jay for dinner as they haven’t met up for 6 months or so. Amy told me they are suing one of their Dodee franchisees because they opened a second store out of contract and tried to hide it by altering the name and the colours of the logo.  I can’t imagine getting into something like that. It seems crazy to me. May’s family has gone through more drama than the BBC.

What is something I’d like to do for someone else?

I’m finding this tough to think of something specific and something applicable to right now. Usually, if I feel like doing something for someone it is not particularly planned. Of course, I do like to do things for Amy, my cats and my students but those are standard. It’s like when I track if I have complimented anyone today I always exclude Amy, my students and my baristas – it must be someone I don’t always compliment anyway.

I took this picture because suddenly this cactus sprouted these flowers. I’m not sure if they bloom and open up but I’ll find out in the next day or two.

Sitting Still – 25th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s not a sound about
No electricity on the hill
I’m sitting still

A brain that has quieted
With no thoughts to fill
I’m sitting still

Contemplating how much longer
With only time to kill
I’m sitting still

As days speed up, I slow down
Swallowing a bitter pill
I’m sitting still

Time is the only master
And I have to pay the bill
I’m sitting still

Today I’m feeling:

Tired from staying up late and then getting up early as I slowly train myself for 6:15 am starts again next week.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady at the market stall who gave me an extra mango today. It’s mango season and they are juicy and delicious.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing the Brix Smith and Jack Dee biographies. Both were good easy reads as I visualised their lives unfolding. New books to start! 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’d been checking out my flights to Australia on the Airasia website and was ready to book on Sunday night. I sent the itinerary to Amy to double check but she was drunk and replied ‘I’ve got no brain.’ No problem, I can just figure it out on Monday. And that’s what I went to do. The problem this time was that somehow I didn’t have enough credits left to cover the costs. I assumed it was something to do with cached data from going through the process the day before but investigating further I found that my credit had expired in the 12 hours since first looking! Damn it! Oh well, what can I do?

Something I learned today?

Our Sydney friend Runa will visit a relative in Chiang Rai for a couple of days. It seems typical of her that we only find out a day before she arrives. Never organised or good at planning or decision-making. I’m ok to pick her up from the airport if she needs.

What went well today?

Everything went as expected. There was nothing in particular that needed to go well and there was nothing that usually happens that didn’t go well. Not all days are like this.

Art took this picture because this has been my morning home at Utopia for the whole month of April.

Nancy’s Eyes – 11th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

A youthful head full of fantasies
Love songs sung out of bedroom windows
Piercing dark eyes staring into mine
I study every contour of the dimples ’round your nose

Desperately seeking the warmth and comfort
To learn the secrets of your touch
Six more aching hearts on the other side
The urges of desire are too much

14th Mar 2025 – This poem suggests deep, though unclear, memories of the feelings from that time.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the passionfruit plants I bought that are growing like crazy and about to bring us lots of fruit. It’s so good to watch something grow from seed and get flowers or fruit from it.

The weekends disappear so fast – weekdays too, really. Still, at least this weekend I had time to continue posting to my blog and also going through old bits of writing and letters and considering how to add them at some point.

It’s weird to be spending time documenting the past and not really doing that much in the now. I guess it is a good time to be doing it though, as the virus continues to spread around the country.

Amy has continued her dancing regime and lost a little weight again. I had my first drink in a while last weekend and feel I somewhat suffered for it through the rest of the week by not doing much exercise and gaining a little weight. The hangover wasn’t so bad, but the wasted time stings.

I’m really enjoying playing guitar, though it is hard for me to perfect it, it’s keeping me focused.

At Utopia this morning, besides drinking two fabulous coffees, Art was telling me his building is without water again. Every time he complains to ‘the people’ (I don’t know who actually controls this), they just tell him that he should understand that it happens because he is a long way from the source. This is an obvious cop-out, as he pays the same as someone right next to the source. People are really lazy to make things work efficiently and for everybody here. Unequal and corrupt, as Art was able to tell me through Google translation.

I can ignore this kind of thing most of the time, though I have been (perhaps mistakenly) following the Thai news a bit more closely these days due to the spread of the virus, and I see these kinds of symptoms everywhere. I feel frustrated for the kids I teach. I have a way out, but they may not.

You Bring Out The English In Me – 21st June 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I’m sorry to say, it’s your fault
It’s all the stupid things I see
Sarcasm is the default result
You bring out the English in me

“That’s just great, that’s amazing!”
While I wonder what the fuck you’re doing
What I mean and say are not the same thing
Over the horizon, trouble is brewing

It’s a culture clash, war with words
I see things I should never see
Slower than thirty-three and a thirds
You bring out the English in me

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to work from home today. Finally, someone at the school made the right decision for teachers to work from home due to the Covid case at school. It is the sensible decision!

Well, the students came back to school last Monday on a treacherous day of torrential rain, and it was good to see them all again. By Friday, the school was closed again due to a case of Covid that the school knew about on that first day but kept to themselves in the hope that it wouldn’t be a big deal. So typical of the Thai style. It’s very frustrating.

On Monday, Nancy was also constantly hassling me to cash her cheque and transfer her money. I was unable to get to a bank, but Amy offered to transfer it if I put some money into her account. I transferred from my account without realising it took me below the threshold needed for my visa application, which was summarily rejected on Tuesday! Now, I have to change to a 60-day visitor visa and re-apply again. I was so annoyed that it became funny.

Thailand has not endeared itself to me this week. I started wondering about leaving. We are only made to feel welcome here if we spend money. We will never be accepted as equals – sometimes it feels like a punishment for the luck of being born in a ‘better’ society. Revenge jealousy.

Anyway, I can play with my cats and the dog from next door. I still have books to read. Fuck frustration!

Today’s not the day the sky will fall down around my ears – 30th June 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s been raining on and off for the last two weeks or more and finally, the ground has gotten soaked enough that big pools of water remain around our garden after the daily storm passes through. The frogs are going crazy, croaking across the valley. The snakes must be happy to be able to easily locate their food again. What a dangerous life. Having to call out to find your mate, only to be swallowed by a hungry snake.

Kim Chi, our killer cat, was found one morning munching on the guts of a bird in the dining room. How thoughtful. Amy woke me up to come and help clean up. There were bird feathers everywhere, strewn across the floor, table and lounge. I love our animals and I also love the birds that come to visit our garden. Leave them alone Hellcat!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I have been able to adapt to the Thai style of working (so far). Disorganised, short notice, changing decisions…. It’s all good.

Brain dump

Home workout warmup – first time – just the warmup makes me tired! Start somewhere. Itchy throat – can’t get sick. Itchy leg – something always biting.

All our fish dead again. We can’t take care of them for some reason. Jukebox – Happy – I don’t know who sings it – George someone. Today we will make a video and I will hate this song even more.

Feel good – a little tired. But good. thinking about Hayden but have an idea how to help. Can I just be me? Too late to be tough on him.

Thinking of poor kids in China who walk 5 km across rough valleys to get to school. Just primary kids. Predictably they want to be soldiers. They are tough. Circumstances dictate. No one’s fault. Everyone wants to be someone else for a while. But without the effort. Like a video game.

We got that attitude! – 13th May 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the heat. I was sitting at home last night with no air con and really feeling the hot air against my body. It’s very hot, but it’s ok. It could be even hotter. It could be so cold that I would need lots of clothes. I think I prefer less clothes.

What can man do more? That is what seemed to me important to know. Is what man has hitherto said all that he could say? Is there nothing in himself he has overlooked? Can he do nothing but repeat himself?

from The Immoralist, André Gide

To-do list

  • Practice compliments to everyone/anyone ½
  • Gift for teachers ✅
  • Start considering next set of lessons

Ah, I need to remind myself about so many things. Today was thrown out first thing in the morning with some instructions to make a two-hour video by the end of the day (with no direction about purpose, reason or detail given).

We mulled it over and considered the idea and as the Thai teachers didn’t really have any more information they too were struggling with exactly what to do.

Later, we were given some topics and I was told I would film the next day. This meant having to figure something out that afternoon as we have training in the morning tomorrow. So I had to get on with it.

After a couple of hours, I had the outline and main ideas in place – though we couldn’t imagine how we could make it stretch to two hours – two hours in which we’re expected to be talking the whole time!?

At the end of the day, the Thai teachers returned and said that now the ideas had changed and it could be an hour or so and include breaks where you would expect the students to talk.

I certainly had the feeling that I had done that two hours of preparation under false pretences and now there was a new (and much easier) direction that my time could have been better used. However, I didn’t really feel that bothered or upset by it. But my mouth engaged before my brain and I complained about all the work I’d done and how I wouldn’t have time to re-do it.

The Thai teachers were somewhat sympathetic and George thought what I’d done could still be used anyway, so no harm done. I agreed and didn’t really think much about how I reacted might have been perceived differently by the Thai teachers (or even George and Dylan) because internally I wasn’t really passionate either way.

George told me as we were leaving that I shouldn’t say things like that and I realised how much more serious it must have seemed to them. I knew George was right and even though I had a chip on my shoulder fighting to protect my fragile ego, I also had an angel telling me I had made a mistake but that it was OK.

I thought about it on and off during the evening and eventually ended up sending a thank you message to George. Looking back I realise that I was just wanting to show my own superiority over them by making them feel bad about changing plans all the time. I’m sure they know already that it is annoying to foreigners and was there anything that I said that improved the situation? No – keeping my mouth shut would have been the best option. The sun will still come up tomorrow – so I don’t need to go to sleep in anger.

Today has been a valuable lesson – but will I remember it?

30th Jul 2024 – Thankfully I did remember it and I’m much better able to cope with situations like this. I’ve even become familiar with the Thai way of working and thinking that I can predict these kinds of things and at times just don’t bother with first instructions, knowing that they will change a little later. It was, indeed, a valuable lesson and I’m grateful to everyone who helped me grow through this time.