The Allure – 26th November 2023

Falling in love with the abyss
The unknown so alluring
No conception of what it is
Somehow seems reassuring

Together we share the unknowing
On equal terms our ignorance
The enigmatic hand not showing
Tempers our belligerence

Jumping in may find hope and joy
Our childish minds think the best
Whilst the adults around employ
A cynicism towards every test

The allure remained unchanged
It was our eyes that grew old
Our knowledge carefully explained
We’re scared by what we’re told

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions


Today I’m feeling:

A bit more lively than yesterday and with a little bit of tension knowing that I have a few things to do. Amy will go out for lunch with Aun so there shouldn’t be any interruptions.

Today I’m grateful for:

Poowanut at Heaven and Hell record store for immediately paying for a couple of copies of the Jornada Del Muerto LPs which I immediately got packed and will send to him tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Getting everything done that I had planned. The day went way too quickly though. Even what feels like doing nothing in particular goes too fast and being bored is a thing long past!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

This one happened to Amy but I got to hear all about it. As mentioned above Amy had planned to meet Aun for lunch but as it approached time to leave she called Aun just to double-check, who then said she was still in bed and hungover and could she cancel.

Amy was rightly annoyed and complained to me about this common occurrence amongst her friends in Thailand.

She blamed herself though, saying that she should’ve known better. As she continued I just kept listening and acknowledging her displeasure and she let it all go with a ‘better just to be by myself and not care about other people.’

Something I learned today?

My football team, Ipswich Town, making a bid to return to the top tier of English football lost their first game this season to West Bromwich Albion.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I smiled and acknowledged the old lady (she may not have been old) at Utopia in the morning. She gave me a nod and a smile as she left.

I committed to investing time and money in a new release for SpeechOdd and High Voltage.

A random guy had emailed me last week about wanting to buy a CD in my collection and though I really like it I figured I could track it down again and he seemed really desperate to get it so I decided to let it go today.

Another random guy had emailed me about making music together but he thought that I had made a song that was actually done by Trumans Water. I forwarded his message to the band and replied to the guy that I had done so.

What made me smile today?

Walking into Utopia after riding my pushbike from home, I smiled and greeted staff and customers with a smile because I was in a good expectant mood looking forward to that first sip of delicious coffee.

Seeing Cappuccino and Tigger curled up in the cat tree boxes.

Watching a funny video of a kitten running after a delivery guy whilst I was laying next to Amy in bed after having my morning shower.

I feel like I didn’t smile that much really even though I’m pretty happy today.

What puts me in a good mood?

Seeing my students. They can also have the opposite effect but in general, being around all the students at school makes me happy and picks me up.

Coffee helps too!

I took this picture because I managed to capture Cap’s blue eyes.

With a snap of my fingers, in the blink of an eye – 10th January 2020

How can I surprise my partner?

This is a tough question. After more than 10 years together we don’t have many surprises these days. I was thinking I would like to book us our holiday in Vietnam as a surprise but curious that she may just get upset for not consulting her. We have our ten-year anniversary coming up – perhaps I could book us a place to stay for the night. Yep – that’s what I’ll do – find a 5-star resort in the mountains and we’ll spend our anniversary there.

18th Dec 2022 – I did book this but Covid got in the way as everything shut down. I booked it again a second time in 2021 and that too didn’t work out as lockdowns happened in Thailand at different stages.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy when she cooks me breakfast in the morning and doesn’t complain to clean the dishes and iron my shirts. I will try to do these things more when I can share our burden.

Commonplace book for work

Use this space to write out quotes, passages and thoughts that have some meaning for me. These could come from anywhere.

On Journaling

Prepare for the day ahead

Each morning you should prepare, plan and meditate on how you aim to act that day. You should be envisioning everything that may come and steeling yourself so you’re ready to conquer it. As Seneca wrote “The wise will start each day with the thought ‘Fortune gives us nothing which we can really own.’ Or think of Marcus’ reminder ‘When you wake up in the morning tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

Put the day up for review

Stoicism isn’t just about thinking, it’s about action – and the best way to improve is to review. Each evening you should, like Seneca did, examine your day and your actions. As he put it “When the light has been removed and my wife has fallen silent, aware of this habit that is now mine, I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” The question should be: Did I follow my plans for the day? Was I prepared enough? What could I do better? What have I learned that will help me tomorrow?

To-do list

  • Drive slowly and safely – enjoy the journey ✅
  • Talk with John and learn more about him
  • Prepare yourself to meet UK bureaucracy ✅
  • Go to the bookshop if you have time ✅
  • Be courteous to all traffic ✅

I fairly lazily drove over the mountains today and really enjoyed it. I was somewhat sad to arrive. I managed to do everything I planned and bought 5 books at the bookshop. A bit of an extravagance as none of them are on my to-read list.

The application for a new passport was also a completely painless experience for which I’m grateful.

I have very much enjoyed today so far sit now waiting for John to arrive and open his bar. The old auntie here, collecting parking money, shouts instructions from her wheelchair, as the cars pull into the driveway. John is running on Thai time and I’m starting to flake, the long day catching up with me.

I gave it half an hour and decided to leave, tiredness getting the better of me.

At Oh’s place and loved playing and petting her two puppies – once we had become friends. I suppose I could’ve waited for John for longer but don’t feel bad for not. I’m sure we’ll meet someday. It’s just nice to put a real personality to the online persona.

Tomorrow I have to drive back and teach Khawtang and Prang/Sea. Based on how I’m feeling right now, I’m going to be exhausted. Hopefully, I can enjoy some free time on Sunday.