Raise a toast from the bottle of heartbreak
Tears mist the eyes of dead teenage butterflies
These wounds become a comfort given time
Waxing poetic about the expected surprise

These are the happy things, preparing for grief
The painful goodbyes in the rear-view mirror
Bigger, brighter things are on the way to love
Slowly, gently, this will all become clearer

Butchered, mangled, inspired by this post at Spinning Visions
Submitted to #Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge Expect

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Today I’m feeling:

A little lazy. I was going to get up with my alarm but still sleepy, Amy almost shouted at me from her bed, getting up, where are you going….? Jesus, let me wake up a little! I brushed my teeth, took a piss and got back into bed for another hour of sleep where I had a dream about us being able to drive on a piece of A4 paper as if it was a car!

Today I’m grateful for:

The trees that Amy’s mum planted on our land years before we came here and have grown to provide great shade from the sun but now have gotten so big that their roots threaten to cause problems to the foundations of our buildings.  We will cut four and I hope the remaining three will be able to grow faster and stronger to provide shade again into the spaces that will be left.

The best thing about today was:

Having a tidy garden again once the gardeners had finished their work, the smell of cut grass wafting through the house.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve noticed (again) that I don’t really like being in my man cave so much – it’s not quite comfortable for me and whereas in the living room of our house I feel like I am centred, in my room I feel like I am on the periphery. It’s only a remove of about six metres but it makes all the difference. 

I’m having to force myself to go there to get certain things done and figuring out ways to do other things back in the living room without having all my stuff scattered around.  This is a compromise of Amy’s return to our home.

Something I learned today?

An avocado is a berry.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I wished Noey a happy holiday as this will be the last time I see her at Utopia until next year.

I bought an onion in the local market and thanked the lady who commented that I spoke good Thai.

I nodded appropriately to the gardener who explained what they would do to our trees though I only caught a few words. I could understand the gist especially when he pointed at some leaves that looked like they were getting eaten by some bug.

I did the washing this morning, hung it out and brought it back in in the evening.

I shampooed Tigger’s head as he is getting the scabs again that he got last year around this time.  He wasn’t happy but accepted his fate well enough and of course, went outside as soon as he could and rolled around in the dirt again.  He really loves our home.

What changes did I experience this year?

The biggest change has been at home of course, with Amy being back in the house, cleaning up and bossing me around.

Other changes have been more subtle, such as my slow improvement to health and fitness. Also my adjustment in confidence when riding the motorbike since coming off it.

And if I look closely I can see signs of my skin sagging a little around my cheeks and neck as my I struggle with gravity. Even lying down can’t help.