There were many that day Was it day? Is it night now? Here, it’s not possible to tell Time has lost all its meaning
We lined up waiting for the interview It has been a long wait But I will review all that came to pass It was obvious, even as I said it It took me a long time to figure it out The master told me that messages were sent But I had been slow to realise
Later, we all gathered round And I wasn’t the only one Most of us facing the review agreed That we all took too long to realise Then we returned to the silo Perhaps one day, we can try again
A time-disorientated play on a life’s review in The Matrix or Heaven.
Is this matrix worthwhile? I miss her, I miss her so Broken hearts will mend in time I know, I know, yes, I know
Inside broken poetry Made a home from a dead heart We are creatures made to love And duty-bound, play our part
She has gone and I’m still here The cosmic universe chose She’s shown me that I’m worth it Back to the matrix she goes
Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased into seven-syllable lines from the question and answer at The Red Hand Files #293
The Decline and Fall of the British Empire, 1781-1997 by Piers Brendon (reviewed at Goodreads.com)
I love the language used in this book though it did make it a little bit of a slog but, as an Englishman myself, this was a fascinating journey. Somehow, in my youth, I was aware of the way things were going in Britain and got myself out just before the end of this book, the handover of Hong Kong.
I was appalled at the lies and deceit of the Empire and thoroughly enjoyed following its decline. I also noted how the USA was (hypocritically) critical of Britain’s colonialism before they stepped into the breach after WW2. And it fills me with warmth to see the USA making the same mistakes since then, and being able to watch their own empire’s decline in real time.
A library for escape Away from toxic adolescence Give me a book, a cure Ten-minute convalescence A silent conversation With Kurt, Leo or Tim Sudden shock discovery Stirs something within Where I fell in love Every day, every page turned Caught like a naughty child A secret found, unearned This secret isn’t yours to share Find your own stairs to sit Fall in your own love And be satisfied with it
Tired from lack of sleep. Slept well but just not long enough. Hopefully coffee gets me going.
I was having a very nice dream this morning but it was suddenly interrupted by what seemed to be a handsome TV presenter with a gleaming smile. He looked at me sideways and then gave me a wink and a knowing smirk. And my alarm went off!
Did I almost cross over into the Matrix? A glimpse behind the curtain? I actually laughed as I turned my alarm off. It felt like some sort of comfort.
Today I’m grateful for:
Teaching the grade 10 kids first this morning. Even though their English isn’t good, their maturity at least makes them more manageable to teach. They still have concentration issues when it comes to phone management issues. I can’t help but feel that letting them have their phones in class is going to affect them badly in the future unless our societies turn into 5-second functions where they might be ahead of the game.
I think these kids will be in for a rude awakening or have already accepted their fates.
The best thing about today was:
A big beautiful rainstorm from low black clouds as I was driving home. Our poor rusted guttering couldn’t cope with the deluge and I may need to make another venture up onto the roof to see if there is anything blocking it. If there’s not it just means there’s too much rain too quickly to even take care of.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As a follow-on from yesterday’s annoying class, I spent much of the day chasing up lazy kids, offering them help several times and making myself available, all to little avail. Less than half the students bothered to do anything. When the online quiz deadline passed I advised their homeroom teacher again asking what she could do about it and she just said she’d tell them again. She doesn’t get it either. The work for my class is no longer the issue. My two-hour lesson shouldn’t end up as a twenty-four-hour helpline. I asked again what she is going to do to stop them from wasting everyone’s time. I’m not expecting any answer.
Something I learned today?
Chatting with David, he is also frustrated with his classes and the student’s lack of understanding. I do take it as a challenge for me to find better ways to engage the kids but it is exhausting when they are just not interested in developing themselves at all. I think David will quit soon.
When was the last time I felt at ease?
I feel at ease most of the time if I consider it carefully. Sure I can let my classes wind me up but I’m mostly wound down again the following day even if I’m still thinking about it. By that point, I’m thinking up solutions and not getting emotionally caught up in it anymore. I’m not letting things overwhelm me like might have happened in the past. It is still a rollercoaster of being totally on during the semester and then totally off during the holiday. That transition does feel weird.
My student, Wipping, took this picture because she asked me to smile but I pretended to be upset that she wasn’t working. This picture captures my internal feelings in class sometimes. 99% of the time it remains internal and I have also never hit anyone with that stick. It is actually my remote control for the projector on the ceiling.
We’ll birth our babies from sacs So our mothers feel no pain Patting ourselves on our backs With this technological gain
A matrix of unborn babies Hanging up in store We take away one suffering Perhaps replaced by more
A matrix of millions Spat from artificial wombs Why not exploit them further In this society that consumes
Mothers now free of pain Have more time for shopping Acceptance is hard to explain When there’s no sign of stopping
Today I’m feeling:
A tinge of sadness but in general pretty happy. I was sad when I got to school and walked around but found no students. An empty school reminds me that at other times these are just useless buildings.
I miss my students already though I know I will be over it soon enough, maybe even already!
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff who fixed my iMac and called me at 11 am, just as I was about to head home. It was ready to pick up. Great timing.
I’m happy to have a working machine again and looking forward to getting it back into the shape that works for me.
The best thing about today was:
Getting a quick haircut was pretty satisfying as it’s getting too hot to have a thick head of thinning hair.
Sitting at Daytripper and putting together another lesson was fun too.
Also, whilst there, watching the highlights of the first game of the AFL season on my laptop and watching students come and go.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I struggled to find all the software I needed to reinstall on my refurbished iMac. I’ll probably have to fiddle around a fair bit more before it’s really back in the shape I want. But that’s all right, this kind of annoying challenge suits me.
Something I learned today?
I watched a little Al Jazeera segment on the state of Iraq since the Western allies’ illegal war there. It seems that the little hope Iraqis had at the removal of Saddam Hussein was very short-lived and one has to wonder how much is the fault of the allies and how much the Iraqis themselves.
Money, power and religion make for a terrible mix when it comes to governance.
What is something in my life that I feel “lucky” to have?
Trying to think how to answer this. In one way I feel lucky for everything I have. In another, I feel like it wasn’t luck at all. So I’m trying to think of something that was just luck.
So after five minutes, I’ve decided all the things I have were not due to luck. Except for one thing.
I’m reminded by my student who told me her story of her parent’s rejection and asking ‘if they didn’t want me then why did they have me?’ We didn’t ask to be born, yet here we are.
So the one thing in my life that I feel lucky to have is life itself.
I took this picture because I’m at the hairdresser again. To get a haircut, not to just take a picture of their cat.
An entertainment to end all others Viewers left zombied gibbering wrecks Weaponised for controlling populations Shoulders hunched until snapping necks Bodies broken boxed in the matrix Life supported until accounts drained A no one dies a nobody death Disposed and destroyed, existence unexplained
Human life is not sacred until all life is sacred to humans.
Doc Dart
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to handle changing situations quickly and be able to manage my expectations.
1994ever 