Tag: The Matrix

The Silo – 5th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There were many that day
Was it day? Is it night now?
Here, it’s not possible to tell
Time has lost all its meaning

We lined up waiting for the interview
It has been a long wait
But I will review all that came to pass
It was obvious, even as I said it
It took me a long time to figure it out
The master told me that messages were sent
But I had been slow to realise

Later, we all gathered round
And I wasn’t the only one
Most of us facing the review agreed
That we all took too long to realise
Then we returned to the silo
Perhaps one day, we can try again

A time-disoriented play on a life’s review in The Matrix or Heaven.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though sadly, I was a little achy again this morning. Never mind, I’m still feeling relaxed and positive. Only a couple of classes today, one tomorrow and then that’s the week done for teaching! What a crazy school!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru David for inviting me to get involved in a little project idea he has to sell a maths board game. It could be a money maker but for me, I feel that I can’t invest my time in this, especially as it requires effort in marketing it, which I absolutely detest.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to get back to writing poetry with a 3-hour break between classes today and working hard on two pieces. It’s now, when I realise that a lot of my time and effort is going into that writing, as I’m not just churning out the ideas anymore but trying to improve my work.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The sports boys in my grade 12 class were late to arrive this morning and what I was teaching was far above their capabilities, so I let them be, whilst trying to interact with them whenever I could.

I’m not going to be able to gift those boys with much knowledge beyond convincing them that they should at least give everything a shot.

Something I learned today?

Baby owls often sleep face down because their heads are too heavy.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I good humouredly let Earn know not to talk to me in a rude way, even if it was just for fun. We were both laughing about it, but she understood what I wanted to convey.

One of my students sent me this today, along with some funny, cheeky comments.

Broken Poetry – 31st August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Is this matrix worthwhile?
I miss her, I miss her so
Broken hearts will mend in time
I know, I know, yes, I know

Inside broken poetry
Made a home from a dead heart
We are creatures made to love
And duty-bound, play our part

She has gone and I’m still here
The cosmic universe chose
She’s shown me that I’m worth it
Back to the matrix she goes

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased into seven-syllable lines from the question and answer at The Red Hand Files #293

The Decline and Fall of the British Empire, 1781-1997 by Piers Brendon
(reviewed at Goodreads.com)

I love the language used in this book though it did make it a little bit of a slog but, as an Englishman myself, this was a fascinating journey. Somehow, in my youth, I was aware of the way things were going in Britain and got myself out just before the end of this book, the handover of Hong Kong.

I was appalled at the lies and deceit of the Empire and thoroughly enjoyed following its decline. I also noted how the USA was (hypocritically) critical of Britain’s colonialism before they stepped into the breach after WW2. And it fills me with warmth to see the USA making the same mistakes since then, and being able to watch their own empire’s decline in real time.

Today I’m feeling:

Sleepy and lazy. Knowing that I have the next six days at home isn’t helping either! 

I want to get myself motivated but my body is holding back my brain.

(Later) Well, I did a bit of reading and finally finished my book.  Onto some sci-fi next for something a little different.

I was able to motivate myself to get out to my room where I did some blogging, writing, listening and guitar playing, which I was glad of but didn’t feel was particularly inspiring.  

Sometimes you just have to go through the motions to work towards that habit.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s friend Fon, who dropped off a couple of small fish for us yesterday and Amy cooked them up for lunch today.

The best thing about today was:

Eating! I had breakfast, lunch and dinner today, as I’m wondering if my lack of energy is down to not eating enough. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. 

I’m a couple of kilos up on last week, too, so I need to make sure that if I do get energised, that I work out of again.

Something I learned today?

Art was really excited to tell me this morning that Oasis will play some concerts again and that he would fly to Singapore to see them if he had to!

I took this picture because our visitor came for a chill on the grass this afternoon.

Secret Stairwell Reader – 12th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A library for escape
Away from toxic adolescence
Give me a book, a cure
Ten-minute convalescence
A silent conversation
With Kurt, Leo or Tim
Sudden shock discovery
Stirs something within
Where I fell in love
Every day, every page turned
Caught like a naughty child
A secret found, unearned
This secret isn’t yours to share
Find your own stairs to sit
Fall in your own love
And be satisfied with it

inspired by the story here on the Spinning Visions blog

Today I’m feeling:

Tired from lack of sleep. Slept well but just not long enough. Hopefully coffee gets me going.

I was having a very nice dream this morning but it was suddenly interrupted by what seemed to be a handsome TV presenter with a gleaming smile. He looked at me sideways and then gave me a wink and a knowing smirk. And my alarm went off!

Did I almost cross over into the Matrix? A glimpse behind the curtain? I actually laughed as I turned my alarm off. It felt like some sort of comfort.

Today I’m grateful for:

Teaching the grade 10 kids first this morning. Even though their English isn’t good, their maturity at least makes them more manageable to teach. They still have concentration issues when it comes to phone management issues. I can’t help but feel that letting them have their phones in class is going to affect them badly in the future unless our societies turn into 5-second functions where they might be ahead of the game. 

I think these kids will be in for a rude awakening or have already accepted their fates.

The best thing about today was:

A big beautiful rainstorm from low black clouds as I was driving home. Our poor rusted guttering couldn’t cope with the deluge and I may need to make another venture up onto the roof to see if there is anything blocking it. If there’s not it just means there’s too much rain too quickly to even take care of.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As a follow-on from yesterday’s annoying class, I spent much of the day chasing up lazy kids, offering them help several times and making myself available, all to little avail. Less than half the students bothered to do anything. When the online quiz deadline passed I advised their homeroom teacher again asking what she could do about it and she just said she’d tell them again. She doesn’t get it either. The work for my class is no longer the issue. My two-hour lesson shouldn’t end up as a twenty-four-hour helpline. I asked again what she is going to do to stop them from wasting everyone’s time. I’m not expecting any answer.

Something I learned today?

Chatting with David, he is also frustrated with his classes and the student’s lack of understanding. I do take it as a challenge for me to find better ways to engage the kids but it is exhausting when they are just not interested in developing themselves at all. I think David will quit soon.

When was the last time I felt at ease?

I feel at ease most of the time if I consider it carefully. Sure I can let my classes wind me up but I’m mostly wound down again the following day even if I’m still thinking about it. By that point, I’m thinking up solutions and not getting emotionally caught up in it anymore. I’m not letting things overwhelm me like might have happened in the past.
It is still a rollercoaster of being totally on during the semester and then totally off during the holiday. That transition does feel weird.

My student, Wipping, took this picture because she asked me to smile but I pretended to be upset that she wasn’t working. This picture captures my internal feelings in class sometimes. 99% of the time it remains internal and I have also never hit anyone with that stick. It is actually my remote control for the projector on the ceiling.

New Wombs – 17th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We’ll birth our babies from sacs
So our mothers feel no pain
Patting ourselves on our backs
With this technological gain

A matrix of unborn babies
Hanging up in store
We take away one suffering
Perhaps replaced by more

A matrix of millions
Spat from artificial wombs
Why not exploit them further
In this society that consumes

Mothers now free of pain
Have more time for shopping
Acceptance is hard to explain
When there’s no sign of stopping

Today I’m feeling:

A tinge of sadness but in general pretty happy. I was sad when I got to school and walked around but found no students. An empty school reminds me that at other times these are just useless buildings.

I miss my students already though I know I will be over it soon enough, maybe even already!

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff who fixed my iMac and called me at 11 am, just as I was about to head home. It was ready to pick up. Great timing.

I’m happy to have a working machine again and looking forward to getting it back into the shape that works for me.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a quick haircut was pretty satisfying as it’s getting too hot to have a thick head of thinning hair.

Sitting at Daytripper and putting together another lesson was fun too.

Also, whilst there, watching the highlights of the first game of the AFL season on my laptop and watching students come and go.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I struggled to find all the software I needed to reinstall on my refurbished iMac. I’ll probably have to fiddle around a fair bit more before it’s really back in the shape I want. But that’s all right, this kind of annoying challenge suits me.

Something I learned today?

I watched a little Al Jazeera segment on the state of Iraq since the Western allies’ illegal war there. It seems that the little hope Iraqis had at the removal of Saddam Hussein was very short-lived and one has to wonder how much is the fault of the allies and how much the Iraqis themselves.

Money, power and religion make for a terrible mix when it comes to governance.

What is something in my life that I feel “lucky” to have?

Trying to think how to answer this. In one way I feel lucky for everything I have. In another, I feel like it wasn’t luck at all. So I’m trying to think of something that was just luck.

So after five minutes, I’ve decided all the things I have were not due to luck. Except for one thing.

I’m reminded by my student who told me her story of her parent’s rejection and asking ‘if they didn’t want me then why did they have me?’ We didn’t ask to be born, yet here we are.

So the one thing in my life that I feel lucky to have is life itself.

I took this picture because I’m at the hairdresser again. To get a haircut, not to just take a picture of their cat.

No Body Required – 3rd August 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

An entertainment to end all others
Viewers left zombied gibbering wrecks
Weaponised for controlling populations
Shoulders hunched until snapping necks
Bodies broken boxed in the matrix
Life supported until accounts drained
A no one dies a nobody death
Disposed and destroyed, existence unexplained

Human life is not sacred until all life is sacred to humans.

Doc Dart

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to handle changing situations quickly and be able to manage my expectations.

The Week That Was – 14th October 1979