Blow And Crash – 9th July 2024

A vile legion, no alkaline vial
A third eye opened up to show
The first two burned out and bled
Soon forgotten, supposed to know

A toot of one’s own horn
I found myself getting in touch
With beauty scarily sublime
It overwhelmed, too much

As skin returned from blue
The views up there began to fade
Stirred up in a sandy wave
To crash on the beach I made

It’s not these orange-tinted glasses
Or butterflies flowing from my gut
Reality was just a ‘barely hanging on’
Out of my mind, a door slowly shut

Submitted to No Theme Thursday and the attached picture as inspiration.


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good. An easy start and a relatively simple first class with my grade 8s.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to quickly rearrange my afternoon class so that everyone could finish early.

The best thing about today was:

Getting home by 3pm and though it’s a bit of a negative, I lazily watched TV rather than getting anything done.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My second class was supposed to be at 2.30, but a few students had told me that because other teachers were away, they had nothing to do until then.

So during my first class, I was thinking how to start at 12.30 instead so that everyone could finish early.

I decided to go for it and messaged them to come at 12.30 and we would find a classroom to study in.

It was only a little later that I realised that I had forgotten that this class is made up of students from two different programs, and one had classes until 12.30, which meant that they would miss lunch by coming straight to my class this time. 

I thought I’d smoothed it over because I knew that they wouldn’t actually study until 12.30 and asked them to quickly grab lunch whilst they could. 

The class went well and we got it all done in an hour, as the room was due for another class.

Later, I heard that the two groups of students were quarrelling about this change of plan, so I had to try and smooth things over. Though I also found out that this was not just about what happened today, but an ongoing situation between the two.

Something I learned today?

Burmese armed resistance are financing themselves by flooding Thailand with cheap drugs, causing a moral quandary for those who support their fight for (supposed) ‘democracy’ there.

Somehow, I never come across these cheap drugs!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I watched all the students preparing for the drama competition and personally wished each of them good luck for the next few days. Lin, Jet, Namyen, Guitar, Noah, Poppy, Achang, Alew, Wipping, Palm and a couple of others. I dispersed all my coins to them as they begged for spending money while they are away. I think that cost me 17 baht in total!  I hope that they have a good time because they have been working hard on this play.

I took this picture because these are my old students, Aoey, Pleng and AimAem rehearsing their speech for their competition. Unfortunately for them, they couldn’t stop themselves from laughing when I started taking pictures and holding my hands as they were. As with my other students, I wished them well and to try their best.

What’s The Point Of Your Third Eye When The First Two Are Blind? – 13th December 2021

Standing in the garden at night
Looking up at the brightest star
The darkness blankets me in comfort
I cannot fathom where you are

I’m just beginning my investigation
An infinite universe to explore
I’m not afraid of this vagueness
It’s what every idea is for

It’s a new way of seeing
A view of the world with open eyes
No limits to where I roam
With childlike wonder and surprise

Repressed ideas often leak out
But they no longer make me afraid
I challenge myself for the pleasure
Of this wonderful life I’ve made


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Amy got up with me this morning to join my abs workout. It was tough for her.


The crappy TV break yesterday was less than crappy. It was perfect.

I watched some YouTube videos and some Trailer Park Boys. I dismissed TPB when it first aired because it wasn’t laugh-out-loud funny, just amusing stereotypes at play. After 15 years, I decided to give it another shot and I’m glad I did. One thing I like about it is the appearance of how much fun they must have had making it. I’m very curious what these people are like in real life but I don’t want to find out yet, that would spoil the illusion for me.

The environment for the setting of the show reminds me so much of when I used to visit Turlin Moor with Justin and, occasionally, Rupert and Jeremy. Looking back, that place was scary. Turlin Moor was an area in Poole where recently released convicts were rehoused. Needless to say, not many had been rehabilitated.

I don’t really remember how often I went there but it was enough to feel somewhat welcome and protected. We hung out at a family house. A mother (Pam) with two kids and then all the other wastrels hanging around. There was usually 10 to 12 people lounging around the living room.

I never went on my own, always with Justin, though I may have stayed there overnight sometimes and Justin went to his home, which was within walking distance.

Friendly though the people there were, they weren’t always the brightest sparks and trouble was never far away. I managed to avoid getting involved and just relished this little family community that accepted anyone.

My other main watch this weekend was on YouTube, where I discovered someone had uploaded the Sensational Swans video. Something I’d been trying to find since its release in late 2005. It was available to buy from the Sydney Swans website but I didn’t want to pay full price for it and hoped it would turn up in the video store and I could just rent it and rip it. I did that with the release of the Grand Final from that year but the Sensational Swans was an hour and a half review of the whole season. In comparison the final was not so excting.

Anyway, watching this on the weekend got me wound up. Remembering names and goals and faces but the best/worst things was feeling the tension watching the little game reviews, even though I already knew the result.

I love watching the AFL and the Swans (when we play well). I’m excited for the coming season already.