She, little fighting girl walking the woods, The big bad wolves ripped her pretty dress, All her dreams now become a nightmare, She skirts around the pain deep inside her.
He runs wild, teeth and snarl, with big bad wolves, Egged on and eager, salivating so, ripping at her pretty dress, her cries echo into the darkness of his soul.
Inspired after reading Yassy’s poem, the form is apparently a tetracyt. Also submitted to NaPoMo.
Today I’m feeling:
A little stressed with my morning coffee and trying to get my brain in gear with the lesson planning. It’s kicking in slowly and I’m familiar with this stage of progress when I have many, many ideas floating around and can’t keep up with them. The rest of the day has been up and down.
Today I’m grateful for:
Momo making it to lunch today, after she messaged me yesterday that she may not be able to make it. With Popo and Baitong we had a good catch-up over pizza and I’m happy to hear their English improvements since we last met.
The best thing about today was:
Firstly, not having to pay anything for my dental appointment and then trying the pharmacy at Central and finding 50mg tramadol for only 45 baht.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Baipad messaged me this morning telling me that she was in the hospital as she attempted to overdose (which I presume must have been last night).
I didn’t get much more information from her so I’m not sure what brought this on. It suggests something happened out in her family village which is a bit of a worry as she mentioned bad things happening to her there before.
In the evening Anchan messaged me that she too was also in the hospital but for her it was for stomach ulcers, brought on by the stress of her family situation, no doubt.
She also told me that she and her brother also inherited the heart problem that killed her father a couple of years ago.
Something I learned today?
This morning we found that a tile from our roof got blown off in the storm last night. Amy learned that trying to get someone to come and fix it is a complete pain in the ass.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Trying to keep on encouraging Baipad and Anchan through their difficulties.
Treating Popo, Momo and Baitong to a pizza lunch and then playing along with their TikTok videos. It was great to catch up with them, three of my favourite students.
I took this picture because how could I refuse my favourite students asking to make TikTok videos in the shopping mall in front of passing shoppers.
I’ve got some energy today, mainly through having ideas for lessons for next semester, which I need to focus on this week in preparation.
I just hope that what I’m working on is suitable for the students and not above their level.
I sometimes overestimate how skilled the students are and as this is my first time teaching grade 12 I have some reservations.
Today I’m grateful for:
Cap being able to come home from the vet. He hates being there as he is a princess scaredy-cat a lot of the time.
I doubt he slept much for the last three days but the saline has helped stabilise his blood levels and hopefully, he soon gets his appetite back.
The best thing about today was:
Getting on a roll with my lessons. I checked with the grade 12 teacher from last year and they were very supportive of what I was hoping to teach some of these students.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I talked to Kru Mai about changing one of my classes so that they matched the other classes in that grade and he said he will look at it.
But in the process of that conversation, the annual discussion of integrated study came up again and our grade 7 and 10 classes may need to follow that format.
I argued against this unless we are given the lessons to teach (which is not likely). Every year they try to implement this and it’s always been shot down but it looks they are going to try and muscle it in somehow this time.
Also, any rejigging of our classes may also mean I don’t end up teaching the grade 12s that I just spent all day working on lessons for. I asked if that could be left alone because I hope that I can get this opportunity to test out my skills and abilities, as well as the students.
Something I learned today?
USA TikTok users said that they were worried if the company was sold to a US corporation, believing that it would be more censored and restricted than it is currently as a subsidiary of a Chinese company.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Amy asked me to do many little things for her this evening and I’ve done them as required, even though it interrupted things that I was doing.
I took this picture because the full moon was looking rad as I went out to help Amy in the teaching room. She has plans for it but I’m not sure exactly what yet.
There’s no more debating The words that you’re stating Broke down my defence Pushed me off the fence There’s no more however I’ll live this truth forever No more other hand A line in the sand Fighting the good fight Confirming I am right
Having said that though No! Tell me it ain’t so!
Today I’m feeling:
Positive and happy though also a little saddened at some circumstances that arose last night when Amy’s brother and girlfriend came to visit. Things are happening in the family space that are a little upsetting for Amy and she is quite bothered by them. It feels like another thing to push her away from Thailand unfortunately.
Today I’m grateful for:
Funfai again as this morning she presented me with a big bag of almonds.
One of her quirks tickles me in that when she doesn’t know the answer to a question she says ‘I don’t know’. This may not sound odd when written down but it is sometimes quite difficult to get people here to admit that they don’t know something. Often they will just give some bullshit answer.
I’m glad Funfair happily admits not knowing things though. To me, that shows a desire to learn, or an acceptance that it is ok not to know everything.
The best thing about today was:
Teaching this extra (grade 10) class. I found out in the morning it is a pretty good class including many of my old students so it was good to have some familiar faces there because that made me feel comfortable, which in turn made the other students comfortable too.
I’d put together a quick reading and writing lesson in the morning and wondered if we would have enough time to do it but they pretty much breezed through it and were happy to be corrected on pronunciation. It’s a stark contrast to my grade 7 class in the morning which was like herding cats as usual. I enjoyed both classes in different ways.
I’m quite happy to have taken on this extra class despite it meaning extra work for me.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I still didn’t get paid yet and had to beg money off Amy to put petrol in the car. I’m down to 61 baht in the bank and 40 baht in my wallet. I’m taking this as an opportunity to be frugal and make do with what I already have. Except coffee. That is on credit, thankfully, though I hate doing it.
Something I learned today?
In Switzerland, it’s illegal to own just one guinea pig because they’re social beings and get lonely.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
This morning Paen messaged me asking if she could come and join my class with the grade 7s. The reason being that she is developing a friendship with Praew and wants to see if she will be her girlfriend.
As I didn’t really have much planned for the class except some Quizizz and as I’d like to help Paen make a new friend or girlfriend I allowed her to come and sit and help a little too.
Both Praew and Paen were happy to have this chance to be together. Paen has struggled with friendships with her peers so I’m hopeful that making friends with a younger girl could work out for her.
Are you a doer, a maker or a leader?
Out of these three choices, I reckon I’m a doer. I’ve always been an advocate for doing something, anything and I still follow that line of thinking.
My doing recently involves the challenge of presenting a poem every day. I’m not sure how long I have been doing it now, maybe it’s two years already.
Also, trying to go back and add information to this blog about the past is a monumental and endless task which is the kind of stupid thing I like to get into.
Previously, in the absence of anyone else doing it, I started the record label, organised shows and tours and shared the information to help others to do the doing too.
Part of that crosses over to being a maker, as I made part of the Sydney/Australia/Asia music scene and am still involved in that, though not as relentlessly as before.
As a teacher, I hope that I am helping in making responsible adults and this also crosses over to being a leader.
I don’t play well with adults and have no desire to lead them, to lead a work team or the like but seem to have fallen into being a de facto leader for my students.
I took this picture because Nudee and her friends were trying to make TikTok videos after they’d finished my classwork. I was outside the classroom and this picture was actually taken through a highly tinted window (it’s very difficult to see inside with the naked eye) so I was surprised that the picture even came out so well. Ironically, the girls were all too embarrassed to have their picture taken and I grabbed this shot before they put their hands up in front of the camera. Nudee likes to wear colourful contact lenses which make her eyes look amazing. She also has a lip-piercing which is prohibited by the school rules (hence the mask) but I have seen many kids flouting it recently and I like it.
Home Workouts Workout — Morning functional strength training
Today I’m feeling:
Awesome. I felt especially good after my short chest and arm exercise this morning.
Today I’m grateful for:
Our car. I say this because I often see old cars around that I would like to own but remember all the trouble I always had with old cars, except for The Rocket, and how unreliable they could be. So that got me thinking about how grateful I am for our little boring Nissan that keeps going despite the daily thrashings I give it.
The best thing about today was:
Getting things done in the garden and cleaning the moss from around the teaching room using the high-pressure hose. I’m really tired already but it provided a great sense of achievement also topped off with mala soup and grill.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I lost my cool as Amy badgered me for help and then started (what felt to me like) talking down to me like I was a kid. We were outside and I kicked a nearby bucket away in frustration, which then, of course, got her upset too.
I almost immediately just found the situation funny but Amy was very upset and gave me the silent treatment whilst I tried to make it up to her.
Something I learned today?
I watched some videos of the recently released City Skylines 2 video game. It looks very good but I could immediately see how much time would need to be sunk into it and it’s time I would rather spend with other things these days.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My vile deed was losing my cool with Amy and I’m disappointed with myself because it was nothing really. I’m still trying to make it up to her but she hasn’t quite forgiven me yet.
This morning I just had the one grade 7 class and encouraged my students with their reading which is slowly improving. They should be proud of themselves.
Amy took this picture because Tangmo quietly came over as we prepared to eat an early dinner. He sat and waited patiently and occasionally begged for bits of food. After we had finished we walked him to the gate where he now understands it is time to say goodbye and he walked off home.
Run down and sick. I slept through most of yesterday and last night and feel like sleeping more. My sore throat has transformed to a sexy voice as my nose starts running causing me to cough and hack up phlegm. To top it all, I forced myself to eat this morning and more of my busted booth came loose. Really have to get back to the dentist soon. Needless to say, I’m not at school. I should go to the hospital but not looking forward to sitting around for a couple of hours just to get prescribed medicine I can get at the pharmacy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at the hospital that made everything relatively smooth and pain-free. Just a bit of waiting around. A bunch of meds were prescribed all for 200 baht, about 8 Aussie bucks. I don’t not know how much the meds had to do with it but I started feeling a little better after getting back from the hospital.
The best thing about today was:
Still working a little with my students in the afternoon while waiting at the hospital. The work I give to my grade 8s is simple and repetitive just with a different text each week so I don’t actually need to even be there with them. Still, about ten students skipped doing anything, which is a shame.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I went out to Utopia and grabbed coffee but the bike wouldn’t start after and I had to wheel it down the road in the scorching heat, adding to my already-addled brain. After the guy in the shop got it running again I decided just to buy some medicine and go home and rest. Amy came back an hour or so later and berated me for not going to the hospital so here I am, already told it’s at least a one-hour wait. I’m handling it by sniffing, coughing and wondering if I’ll even be well enough to go to school tomorrow.
Something I learned today?
Thailand is introducing a Clean Air Act but has no real solutions to stop the yearly burning by farmers. Just ideas and suggestions. There is support online behind a 28-year-old doctor who is about to die from lung cancer but I can’t imagine anyone in government is going to do anything seriously to stop this annual event that is due to be worse and for longer this year.
What new hobby would I like to try?
It’s not new I guess but I really need to get on and make some music with the equipment I have. The problem is that I would have to drop some of the other things that I already like doing with my time.
No new pictures today so this is from last week. Kam, Amy and Praewa tiktokking for me.
Our society is wealthy enough to meet our needs Yet organised such that violence is needed to survive Fight not crime but instead, fight those who create it A real civil society dictates what it means to be alive
Slept badly and though I know I’m tired I also know today is an easy day, at least beyond the fact that we are running around doing my visa which is a stress all by itself.
I forced myself to exercise a little this morning even though my routine is disrupted by Amy being here and us running around doing things.
Sometimes I can see how old people get grumpy when routines are broken. I don’t want to get set in my ways but I do want to get back into an exercise routine again.
Today I’m grateful for:
The visa officer who was kind and helpful and despite us having a small issue with a bank statement he allowed my visa to be processed and I have to go back in September hopefully to receive another year’s grace.
The process is always stressful and has Amy wound up and I try my hardest to not bite and stay calm. Having not slept well I managed until around 11 am and was starting to flag. Whether Amy sensed that or not I’m not sure but I perked up when she decided, out of the blue, to buy me some nice shirts. Later in the day I also found some nice cheap work pants too.
The best thing about today was:
Having the free time to deal with all the visa bullshit without too much hassle and still get back to hanging out with the kids at lunchtime and for my single class. Then back to shopping at the mall.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I lost my temper a little at the end of my class today as we were running out of time and a few girls were playing TikTok dancing on their phones. It passed quickly when I took the phone away and told them that they could get it back from their homeroom teacher at the end of the day. When the class finished one of the girls stayed behind and was suitably contrite, asking for the phone back. I was okay to do that this time with a reminder that next time it will definitely happen.
Something I learned today?
I found out that the visa officers at immigration get their lunchtime coffees at House. They came in as I was leaving today.
What are some activities or hobbies that bring me joy?
Joy? Sometimes when I’m riding my motorbike I get a feeling approaching joy. The smells, the air (when it’s clean), the cool of the shade, the freedom to discover.
In the classroom, there are occasions when joy erupts, which is less easy when you’re on the teaching side of the equation.
Otherwise, there are times of happiness, satisfaction and fun but joy is not an emotion I particularly need to chase after. Small brief moments are preferable.
Takky took this picture because, for my visa application, we have to take photos in our bedroom, outside our front gate and, for this year, we turned the teaching room into our living room as Amy entertained there last night.
We’re making black and white from grey With all the conflicting information on show Picking a side of the fence to stay But the smart thing is to say ‘I don’t know’
My new yoga mat which I finally unpacked and used this morning. I only did a quick workout as I woke up with a start with my first alarm and snoozed a bit after that. I’ll not be able to keep the mat out as our cats will eventually pee and puke on it which is what happened with the last two.
The best thing about today was:
A bowl of LungChom coconut ice cream with fresh strawberries, yoghurt and chocolate muesli. Damn, I’m going to have to make sure I workout a lot these days.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I couldn’t stop myself from an afternoon nap even though as I was nodding off whilst reading and telling myself ‘getting up to exercise will stop you from falling asleep’! I’d planned to get the bike cleaned and serviced and go to Daytripper and ended up not even leaving home again!
Something I learned today?
In Denmark women are (or were in the early 2000s) encouraged back into the workforce after their children reached 18 months, sending their kids to care centres. The carers and parents all rationalised this as positive despite all scientific evidence suggesting the outcome is negative for the babies.
What were the highlights of this past month?
This month has been pretty quiet in general. It’s just been work and home. Nothing stands out but as I’ve said before I’m happy with that. No highs mean no lows. And in general, I’m riding above the median and savouring my life.
Anchan took this picture as part of a TikTok video because that’s what kids do. So, being the annoying teacher I am, I photo-bombed her, making fun of her and to her credit, she was completely unfazed and finished her mime song and uploaded it. Maybe I’ll be famous!
Make sure to watch til the end This video needs the stats Nothing happens at that point As you can see within the chats
But make sure to watch til the end Cos this video needs to go viral A dollar for every ad served Within this ever-downward spiral
Make sure to watch til the end If you really want to laugh Forget about the time you’ve wasted Cutting your life in half
Make sure to watch til the end Scroll and pause, pause and scroll You’re the product in this game And the devil wants your soul
So make sure you watch til the end…
The foundations of a free country is that your freedom to swing your fist ends where someone else’s nose begins.
Ryan Holiday
Today I’m feeling: Reasonably happy. Today I’m grateful for: The old auntie at the market that made an old-style Thai dessert that is hard to come across. It’s a little like Japanese mochi, made with sticky rice and flour and other things I don’t recognise. The best thing about today was: Explaining some work to a couple of students and seeing the joy of understanding on their faces when it clicked for them. Small steps. Interested students are a teacher’s pleasure. Uninterested students are impossible to get through to and those moments of understanding are far fewer with them. So even a poorer student that shows interest is preferred. Daily thought Who is someone living that you admire? I’ve been thinking about this off and on all day and as was commented on where I found this question, it is much easier to come up with a person that is dead. Why is that? A finished story perhaps. A life that no longer can be spoiled… I admire many of my musician friends, just for their abilities to create music that sparks me. This can apply to artists I don’t know too but the connection feels vaguer these days. This admiration is not necessarily for who these people are but for things they created, though there is a strong connection in the qualities of patience and persistence amongst other things. If I have admiration for who a person is then that would be Amy. She has her ups and downs as much as anyone but in general, is a happy person whose positivity is seen by most and I’m sure has helped guide her through life with good results. I admire her attitude. I’m not like that, not like her in that way. I wish I could be but I just can’t. It’s one of the reasons I want to be with her though. She’s a counterbalance for me. What’s your best advice for teenagers? The best advice is what I have learned through reading about Stoicism and understanding the dichotomy of control. As I am teaching teenagers at the moment this often comes up for them in learning about dealing with relationships and situations. It is always something I have to remind myself about every day though. I think I’ll make that a daily question for myself from tomorrow.
I took this picture because this is typical of my students in class. Today I laughed with them but actually, I feel disappointed for them. The environment is just not conducive to learning.
Sick and tired of freedom I want to be a slave I need to be kept in line And told how to behave I’ll gladly give up some rights Just tell me what to do I want someone else to think for me I want it to be you
He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.
Jean-Luc Godard
Today I’m feeling: Happy Today I’m grateful for: All the many choices of different and delicious foods available so close to my home. It’s not often that I can’t decide or find what I want to eat. The best thing about today was: Listening to my student Feije singing and playing guitar. It’s great to see one of my students passionate about playing something other than mobile games or TikTok. She ran all the way over to the guitar room to bring one back to the classroom as I let them have free time. I also had fun with Mee, Yok and Kam with a silly fun game they had on their phone and also with another group of girls playing Uno.
I took this picture because Tokyo was in a friendly happy mood today and she’s lovely when she’s like that. She’s very possessive of what she perceives as her things and will quickly and easily bite you if you go near them.
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