If there was some sense to make I’d try and understand – 26th November 2019

What makes you most excited?

When I first looked at this question I found within myself a general lack of excitement. Not in a bad way. I enjoy many many things that I do or can do but there’s nothing in particular that makes me excited. Everything at the moment is giving me great satisfaction.

The one main thing I have planned is to organise a tour for Kevin from Trumans Water and we’ve been talking about it for a while and yesterday I started contacting the first promoters and the first show kinda fell together so quickly and easily that it has given me confidence in being able to make it work and to do a good job.

I’m looking forward to visiting a couple of new places such as Kota Kinabalu and Yogyakarta. I’m also looking forward to hanging out with Kevin as Trumans Water has been a favourite band of mine for a long time. I still feel a sense of adventure stronger than a sense of excitement though.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Kru Tam to help me fix some things at school so that I can teach the lessons I want to teach. Some of the rooms don’t have video set up properly and a technician needs to come and fix the TV screens. Thankfully Kru Tam is there to help me sort it out.

18 Apr 2021 – None of the things that would have helped me got fixed in the end and I had to come up with other ideas. But at least the Thai teachers looked as if they were helping me!

Release the whale that pulled me under – 4th November 2019

I think I successfully passed my first test. The kids seem to be ok with my style of teaching and the lessons I wrote went ok – I’m still trying to gauge the level of the main class though.

I was also uplifted enough to drop into CRPAO after school and meet some of my old students. It was heartening to know how much they like and miss me. I think I can make good connections with most kids. Let’s see where this job leads.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have the opportunity to work with Kevin from one of my favourite bands next year. It’s exciting to think I can meet and help them. I love this aspect of my life. It’s a lot of planning ahead but I look forward to doing that.

23rd March 2021 – With a couple of weeks until a tour across Malaysia, Sabah, Singapore and Java was due to start we had to cancel everything because of the Covid pandemic. I still need to get refunded for the flights as I don’t think the tour will happen within the two years the tickets are being held for us. Not quite the ‘journey is better than the destination’, more, the ‘planning was better than the reality.’

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #10 – 2nd November 2019

Music from Foojitsu, Kleg, Faust, Trumans Water, Devo, Lightning Bolt, Good Boy, Unsane, Bill Laswell, Charming Hostess, Grim Clone Band and Sly and the Revolutionaries.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to meet with Tok at Utopia, who made my first coffees for the day. I am also happy and grateful to meet a couple of teachers at my new school who were helpful towards me on my first day.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #09 – 26th October 2019

Music from Flin Flon, Butthole Surfers, Rudi, Walt Mink, Trumans Water, The Residents, Flesh Narc, Meteoro, Andy Partridge, Girls Against Boys, Patrick Fitzgerald, Daniel Striped Tiger, Really Red, R.D. Burman featuring Asha Bhosle, Husker Du, Poison Dwarfs and The Lambrettas.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have the courage to explore the places we go and discover cool little cafe bars like this and meet their eccentric owners.

Mae Sai hidden cafe

They said our youth was dead, how could they know? – 25th May 1994

Fucking fuck – five days fly fast through time and motion I can’t keep up and I have no idea where I am in this world right now! Jeez, and found myself jumping at the Joiners again last night (slightly sad because Broni-less and work fed up-ness but such good contrast to go from shit at work to fun with friends).

Anyway coolness abounded again tonight with Thirst, The Zimmer Frames and Bedlam Hour playing cool songs to cool crowd with some madcap dancing and smiles aplenty. Wished I was in better mood because I couldn’t really communicate much ‘cept a bit to Rob. Tried striking up a convo with some dude I saw last week and this time bought a Blake Babies LP off me and, fuck, I couldn’t believe, it I started talking to him and then just finished up. Will take more time to talk to him next time for sure.

Been thinking about that all day, with the million other things flying around my tiny mind – can you tell from these erratic sentences, jumbled along, to some sense.

The weekend was cool, playing tennis and watching movies (Wendy Cracked A Walnut, Naked Gun 33 1/3, and Sea of Love). Get this – booking our tickets for September 27th – £530 each – polishing off two bottles of champagne Sunday night and jumping all over to Cardiacs and – get this second time – buying a camcorder! Been on our minds sometime now.

You know, I can’t remember what I wrote last week but can remember two months ago. Blistering blurred blind vision head down head-up hammering steam train 100mph no holds barred head fuck. Goddamn my baby Broni must love me some to put up with this shit. Dudes, take care.

Also:

26th May 1994 : Quick note at the end of the day. Still mad million thoughts but more cohesive and more productive. Whew!

28th May 1994 : Just a brief mention for feedback and delay. Things start to take on more significance as time passes by, f’instance, take 25th of May entry re Bedlam Hour’s fine gig – now seems to hold much more value for me than it did at the time (note how fed up I sounded) and the same with Trumans Water Newport effort – gawd such a mad rush to get there and make sure we had a good time for our troubles it’s not until later you get to realise what kind of impact it has on you.

Times travelling faster than me this month/section of lifetime and maybe it’s not till I settle somewhere more permanently that I’ll be able to reflect on what exactly it all means. Delay and feedback. Current reflections echo love and energy.

Scrape the cake from faces ’til they’re raw and bloodied
Use their gristled blood to grease our tracks
Take their speaking money for an understudy
Stick a bony finger down their gullets ’til they vomit up the past

– Trumans Water

If there was some sense to make I’d try and understand – 15th May 1994

Much to write about once again. Finally finished reading The Vanity of Dulouz. Such a great read – beautifully written. Besides all that and the usual run ins at work (I really have had enough!) we, fucking hell, got my visa! And celebrated at the Mandarin! Took my mum out for a meal next night too! No wonder we have no money!

Anyways, trekked up to Newport for the wonderful Trumans Water (they get better the more I think about them!), no bass player but some didgeridoo instead! Broni was very tired though and it was very loud so she wasn’t so impressed – maybe next time we see them.