I Was A Ghost, But I Was Real – 7th November 2023

When I was a ghost, my eyes were never met
Unknown, unspoken, unseen, unheard
There I stood, three monkies wiser
Until hearing the whisper of the magic word

A name on a page, a name in lights
Is that me, is this real?
Does a grain of sand on life’s beach
Really understand what the ocean might feel?

You can see me and I can feel you
Alone but never lonely, loneliness lost
Spaces filled with words and chatter
To balance it all comes at a cost

Tides are changing, shores are filling
Days and nights are both illuminating
The stories brought here remind me
Of the sandcastles we’re all creating

Inspired, borrowed, and butchered from this post at Spinning Visions (yet again!)

13th Jun 2024 – Shared with dVerse – liminal
31st Oct 2024 – Shared with What’s Going On – ghosts


Today I’m feeling:

Better than yesterday though still not quite awake, I feel. I had fun with all the kids at the flag ceremony this morning but need this first coffee for my first class.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the people who handled the parcel of records that got delivered safe and sound to me today from Turkey. 

The best thing about today was:

Spending time and effort with one one-on-one reading with my grade 8 students. Both yesterday and today’s classes are a challenge and I think it is beneficial to spend even just five minutes one one-on-one as often as possible. I can only do this with about 6 or 7 students per one two-hour class though.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My final class of grade 7s was disrupted somewhat as one student told me that a few of them were supposed to go for football practice. I told them that they could go when they finished their work but unfortunately they struggled with the work and then as it rolled past the time they asked to leave they struggled with their attitude. Many students ended up 20 minutes late for their vans as I wouldn’t let them go unless they at least attempted the work.

The kids don’t know how to help themselves and the other classmates that understand are reluctant to help now as their kindness has worn thin. The students that slacked last semester will struggle this semester as I ask them to think more about their own ideas, beliefs and feelings. Things that they can’t ask the answers from other students.

I managed to remain mostly patient throughout all this. Mostly.

Something I learned today?

I just realised that the candy I’m eating right now have little tidbits of information on them and so I just learned that crocodiles can’t stick their tongues out. Fairly useless information for 99.5% of people on Earth but there we are. I learned that today.

If I could change one thing about my life, what would it be?

I can imagine that this would be something ridiculous like not having to sleep or being able to party without hangovers! Or not die until I’m ready!

Or that I still had youthful boundless energy.

If I could change one thing about my life I would have done it already.

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

It seems that I am always the one closest to the door so that if anyone ever breaks in to try and kill us they will go for me first. I don’t know if this is a subliminal thing on Amy’s behalf or why that makes her comfortable but it doesn’t bother me. I can sleep on any side of any bed so long as it is comfortable.

Right now we each sleep in the middle of our own King-sized beds which is both ridiculous and amazing.

I took this picture because this old boy was waiting for me to finish exercising so he could eat. Tigger wasn’t far away either. I didn’t feed them as Amy wants to do it ‘her way’ which I know is just to get their affections! I noticed that by this evening both cats are no longer looking at me with expectation but at Amy instead!

Caterpillar Youth – 31st October 2023

Your youth breaks your heart
Trying to make someone love you
Push together and pull apart
As one returns to two

In the wake of all that came
As the stories were often repeated
It’s easy to lay the blame
At the child so easily defeated

Dazzling colours hide the truth
That a butterfly is waiting
To leave behind its caterpillar youth
To a life of constant recreating

Inspired by words and parts of this post at Spinning Visions
Submitted to dVerse ‘young and green’


Today I’m feeling:

Positive and relaxed. The calm before the storm. Back in the classroom tomorrow. Looking forward to it.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the folks who have been diligently working on putting together the Jornada Del Muerta 12” over in Turkey. I can see it has been difficult for them to organise and all I’ve had to do is just send money when necessary. Hopefully, the packages turn up safely though I don’t expect to have anything for Friday which is the release date.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a haircut. My winter cut. The Lady was very busy today as the locals were all bringing their kids in, as many go back to school tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy and I went up to the book fair at the University this afternoon. Before we left I’m sure I heard her say it was at the library so when we arrived nearby I headed off in that direction. When we got there there was nothing on and Amy asked me why I came to the library!

She was annoyed with me but at the same time didn’t know where the fair was either. We got pointed in the right direction and as Amy grumpily walked back I was happily enjoying the perfect temperature and the beautiful smell of evening flowers in the air. It was good to be able to walk anyway.

Something I learned today?

Leaked documents show that Israel deliberately shot its own people when Hamas attacked them on October 7th, blaming Hamas for all the deaths. Just to justify the genocide they are now carrying out in what is left of Palestine. Other documents show plans to remove all Palestinians from Gaza and into Egypt.

I took this picture because MFU sure is photogenic at this time.

On Anger – 12th February 2023

Why is it cold in winter?
Why do I get sick at sea?
And why the hell do the people
In the street keep jostling me?

Today I did some things wrong
And maybe I got some things right
What can I do better next time
I’ll reflect on that each night

inspired and borrowed from Seneca


Today I’m feeling:

Good. A little nervous to get back into the classroom but it will be good to get back to it for the last five or so weeks of the semester.

Today I’m grateful for:

My step ladder and broom that allowed me to get to the leaves on the coverings of the outbuildings so that I could clean them up a little. If I want to complete the job I need to get up on the roof again. Not sure I’m quite ready for that adventure.

The best thing about today was:

My mind. From waking til bedtime my mind has been happily occupied with restful and positive thoughts. I even stopped myself a couple of times and thought ‘hey, I feel good!’ Could it be down to a good eight or nine-hour sleep? Can I convince my brain to get eight hours more often as perhaps my aim of seven hours is not serving me best?

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

All good today perhaps because I have been thinking about my classes tomorrow and how to counter the risk of them getting out of control. I’m not sure I’ve done enough but tomorrow will tell the tale.

Something I learned today?

Yesterday I learned that there is no border crossing between Turkey and Armenia. Something to do with the two countries not having good relations though I don’t know why.

Today I read Fukuyama’s The End of History essay which was written in 1989. It was an interesting read that in hindsight has perhaps been proven not to be quite as predicted. I would like to see his reflection on it now.

What brings my life meaning and purpose?

My thoughts are the only things that can bring my life meaning and purpose. My thoughts may drive me to action and those actions will be assigned meaning and purpose by my thoughts. And my actions and thoughts will be assigned meaning and purpose by others, though they may not be the same.

I took this picture because this is the friendly happy cute dog at the shop next to Utopia where I’m getting LardNa for lunch before heading to Daytripper again to hang out for the afternoon.