Le Guin’s Law – 16th December 2023

What is it I’ve lost?
I really wish I knew
Forever counting cost
The dreams that withdrew

Always filled with hunger
Came the realisation
When I was younger
I stunted imagination

Though I roll in riches

On stock market gambles

I can’t scratch the itches
That fantasy unscrambles


Today I’m feeling:

Good to go in the morning but after lunch I flaked into a long afternoon nap from which I didn’t feel very inspired by.

Today I’m grateful for:

Paul Merton, an English comedian who I have enjoyed since the 80s. I loved his absurd humour in his TV series and now he is still on the long-running show Have I Got News For You where his very English wit still resonates with me. I can still enjoy the show whilst not having any real idea of what’s going on in the UK these days.

The best thing about today was:

Morning coffee and reading some more Wuthering Heights, followed by some pleasant (forgotten) dreams during nap time.

Something I learned today?

This app (Day One) offers a book service and it looks awesome. It would be better for me if WordPress did something like that though as that has more content. Still I reckon I might get a couple printed up for Hayden and Amy.

12th Mar 2024 – I’ve since discovered that there are services that print out WordPress sites and I will try and get one done for 2023 when I finally have finished updating it, which may still take another year yet!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I bought a T-shirt from Utopia, not because I need one but just to support them. I think Utopia T-shirts are one of the most popular shirts in our area.

What songs were the soundtrack for this year?

I decided to try answering this question knowing that this year is part on an ever decreasing tendency of listening to music. 

Without there being a specific artist I would say the two things that I have heard the most are the songs that I bash along to on guitar and the Jazzcore podcast that I listen to about once a month for an hour or so, usually when I’m napping.

Which particular small thing that your partner does irritates you the most?

I’ve been mulling this over for the day and there may be many possibilities to mention but ultimately at the end of the day anything that irritates me is a choice that I’ve made.

And this is what I will keep telling myself every time I feel that way.

I took this picture because the hairdresser’s kitty reminds me so much of Kim. A happy friendly tiny little ginger cat.

Fatman report

Guiding Light – 28th January 2022

Follow the North Star
A guide towards a future
Adapt to ever-changing skies
A night grows darker
Before it lightens again
Come and go like the moon
Like the wind, like the clouds
But the air is always there
Never seen, but always there


Struggle in the quicksand and you only sink deeper.

Eric Barker

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see a beautiful crescent moon and a bright Mars in the dark morning sky, bordered by the trees of our wonderful garden. Wow.


Quoting the Dispossessed

A scientist can pretend that his work isn’t himself, it’s merely the impersonal truth. An artist can’t hide behind the truth. He can’t hide anywhere.

I took note of this quote last year when I was reading Ursula Le Guin’s ‘The Dispossessed’ as it obviously struck a chord. And re-reading it, it still strikes a chord but I’m struggling to define it. Is it true? An artist can’t hide behind the truth? A scientist, I understand, doesn’t have to care that 1 = 1 and 2 = 2. An artist, even if faking it, still shows their truth. Or can a really good artist actually hide?

Perhaps I took note of this considering myself as an artist? Today, I’m doubtful, but whatever. I’m putting this out into the world as an artistic skill (good or bad depending on your opinion) but my tablet is a search for truth. I cannot hide. But what of the fiction writer – they are artists. They could write about unspeakable acts that they would never dare carry out. Are they hiding, or are they still showing a truth?

I don’t know. And I wish my friend Steve was here to dig into this deeper. It is exactly the kind of topic that we would love to discuss long into the nights and early into the mornings. Although things seemed murkier then, they somehow also seemed clearer.

Glorious Journey – 2nd June 2021

Those trying days are nothing
Our ego is satisfied in opposition
The clouds become meaningless
When you make the right decision
New pain is distraction
Putting darkness into perspective
A re-uniting force for us
We realise was already an elective
So choose the lighter path
To ease life’s journeyed story
Balance out the me and us
Together we shine in our glory


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my ingenuity to figure out a solution to a problem at work quickly and under pressure.
I am also grateful to the vet helping to keep our little Kim alive. I don’t know if her weak body will make it but I’m so happy she came into our lives and home.

All The Same – 1st June 2021

The social conscience is a power machine
Human instinct drawn to a higher scheme
No matter the culture, society or elite
It’s the eyes of God on every street


Weight: 77.3kg
Resting heart rate: 62


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my own will and determination. To stay happy, calm and focused as much as I can despite the mental inconsistencies running through my brain. I fought through the pressures of preparation yesterday without panic or depression so today, despite all the testing times to come, I have confidence in my abilities.

Poems on this day – 24th May 2021

Point Five

I got a point five
Writing got thinner
Point five on this page
Surely is a winner

*The .7 was bleeding through the page. The .5 is good for this paper I’m writing on at the moment.

Angels in the Backyard

Down here at the ground floor
Snacking on an oily garlic bread
Watching skinny mid-riffs floating by
Not understanding what they said

Filled with food and a feast for eyes
Wipe the dripping from my chin
Unmasked for everyone to see
Central to absolutely everything

Make a mental note to self
Let no opportunity go to waste
Sat amongst the spices of life
That I may neither touch nor taste

Washed down with refreshing water
There was never any doubt
Lunch is meant for rooms like this
Fill on up and move on out

Reason

I’m proud of you – confessing my allegiance
That’s strange and unreasonable
Times past, irrelevant and small

As one gets older – one needs reassurances
Not always entirely reasonable
In order to go at all

*Re-arrangement of text from Ursula LeGuin’s ‘The Dispossessed’


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my pleasant relaxing weekend away from school. For a weekend of many cold showers to cool down and wipe away the sweat. For the delicious strawberry ice cream and tasty pineapple Amy prepared.

Poems on this day – 19th May 2021

Work Moderately, Play Moderately

Our tendency to compromise
Our choreographed shedding of inhibitions
Our sheer ordinariness
With some notable exceptions

Our eccentricities are conformist
We are neither ‘sir’ nor ‘card’
Everything in moderation
We neither work nor play hard

Far from wild and reckless
We rely on rare risk takers
We are cautious and unadventurous
Not really movers and shakers

Oh, our English dis-ease
That others misunderstand as such
As long as they don’t bother us
Thank you very much!

Almost all this text is manipulated from pg 551 of ‘Watching the English’ by Kate Fox – so, being English, I must talk about the weather…

35 and Relief

Sweat trickled down my chest
My eyes were sweating too
The storm clouds soon disappeared
The skies now a whitish blue
I never thought it could happen
To feel my sweating teeth
Thank god the temperature dropped
To 35 and relief

Giles in the World

In economic globalisation
We seldom wonder where
Our vegetables are grown
Nor do we even care
Trade among our nations
Faceless labour makes
Can you name your farmer?*
And what their effort takes

*This inspirational line is also from ‘Watching the English’ which I had just finished reading and then started on Ursula Le Guin’s Dispossessed, whose introduction page led to this….

New Settler

A self-exiled society
Had taken one step away
Yet he had taken two

The certainty of isolation
He lived his life day by day
Without his common crew

A sacrifice for greater good
To show them a better way
Stood upright and true

Asserted his true condition
Wherever his hat may lay
Somehow, he always knew

He stood by himself
With little left for him to say
And nothing left to do


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the heat discomfort I felt yesterday as it was hot and sticky from waking up in the morning until night and into today. It made me appreciate aircon rooms and cars and the pleasure of being able to cool down again.


This is about the fifth day of unbearable heat and humidity. It’s been hotter before this year, but the humidity is making things feel much worse. I don’t like to complain about it, but I am very thankful when I can get back into aircon, though I would much prefer fresh air. Ha – sometimes I miss England – or the chance to go to the beach and cool down like is so easy in Australia.

We’ve been back at school for more than a week now, and no one has asked us to do anything in particular, so I’ve been plowing through my book, catching up on other reading that I skipped during the holiday, as well as writing more poetry, which has been quite fulfilling.

Last night, I read about Dave Drayton’s P(oe)Ms and really loved the idea of writing a poem for each Australian Prime Minister and using an anagram of their name. I can see in my old poems that I was much more playful with words, even to the point where I can’t even recognise exactly what the literal meaning or intention of some of them were. I notice that I am not quite as clever these days, though I do probably make my points much clearer.

I still have an aversion to reading other people’s poetry though – it just doesn’t seem that interesting. Like making improvised music as opposed to listening to it.

On Monday, I felt particularly ecstatic for some reason. Perhaps getting back into my short exercise routine before work and the pleasure of lots of free time to fill as I wish. But yesterday, the edge wore off a little bit, and despite enjoying it, something still felt not quite right. I wonder what it is, what changes? The food I ate? The interactions with others? The temperature? The environment? Did I drink enough water?

Some days just don’t seem to be a good feeling, and it is difficult to identify. It certainly wasn’t a terrible day, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. I just wasn’t feeling it as compared to the day before. I sometimes consider I have mild bipolar, but it doesn’t affect me to be debilitating, and when I feel down or exhausted, I just write off the day, deal with it as best I can and console myself that tomorrow is a new day.

I’m thinking to call Sharon and ask her about Granny’s diaries – I wonder what they contain. I did see them once and don’t recall anything specifically, but it may be interesting just to see what was in her mind. Or would it be boring? Anyway, I should find out just for curiosity.

I’m filled with ideas and enthusiasm most of the time and finding again the things that seem to bring me joy. Life is pretty good for me right now – and when I say right now, I mean as I sit here writing this. Tomorrow may be different, tonight, or even the next five minutes. So, I’ll just enjoy this right now. Another coffee and another chapter of my book.