Tag: Utopia

On The Buses – 5th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Two weeks on the suffer bus
Do we have to do this dance again?
Always waiting for the cat bus
Under umbrellas in the rain

First two lines inspired by reading Broken Summers by Henry Rollins, second two lines inspired by Miyazaki’s My Neighbour Totoro and the title inspired by the titular 70s UK sitcom.

Today I’m feeling:

Still a little stiff but better than yesterday. I managed to be conscious of my sleeping position during the night which helped a little. As today is a holiday I’m happy to be around home and do a little more exercise and stretching.

Today I’m grateful for:

The gym rings I bought this week and can now hang from them to stretch out my back. I only have strength enough to hold it for 15 seconds but hopefully, that will improve a little. I’m not so fussed about strength though, more for the stretch.

The best thing about today was:

Getting up early and not having to be anywhere. I know I just had six weeks or more of this but my feeling is different when it’s during the working weeks. The temperature outside is just about perfect at sunrise and sunset too. I should be outside more.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

So it was, after talking with Amy and doing a bit of Thai study with her, I decided to try and fix up one of our trees. It’s the weird one that doesn’t have leaves (so it’s probably not even a tree) and it breaks off easily and exudes a sticky white glue substance that is really hard to get off the skin and as usual, I was only wearing shorts. I climbed up the ladder to try and fix some branches in place and several pieces broke off covering me in the sticky juice on my head and arms. After I finished I jumped in the shower but the juice in my hair and on my head got into my eyes and stung like crazy, reminding me of the time I got conjunctivitis in my early years in Sydney. I ended up crying uncontrollably for about an hour and even now my eyes are still stinging. Damn, that goop is nasty. I hope it doesn’t cause any long-term problems.

Something I learned today?

I learned how to play a simple Iron Maiden riff on guitar today though it took me a long time to get it right.

What do I want to focus on this week?

I suppose I want to focus on getting my body out of this pain and that will help focus my mind. I need to get my stamina back up to speed so that I am not so exhausted by the end of the week. This is a long ongoing process after many years of bodily abuse.
I always need to focus on improving my classes and management and I’m still trying to sort out some technical issues with Quizizz. It’s getting there.

I took this picture because this is my bookshelf at Utopia. I’m almost out of music biographies to read and having read all the above need to start bringing new books from home.

The Contradiction – 4th June 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

There are always days I disagree
With all the things that even I believe
The human condition
Is a contradiction
But I’m still blessed to receive

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up hot as the aircon conked out in the middle of the night and for some reason, my hips, back and shoulders were stiff and aching badly. It took me a while to get moving. It wasn’t until later in the morning that I felt more comfortable again. I also found some nice stretches that I hope will help too along with some advice on sleeping positions which may be the root of the problem. I also bought some gym rings earlier this week and today I hung them in the entertainment area so that I can hang from them and get a good whole-body stretch, my poor old wrists willing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Boss at Utopia advising me about an aircon repair shop just in the next building to there. I’m still not good at recognising the shops here. Pictures can be very misleading on buildings as they might just be being used for shade or advertising for another business somewhere else. A lot of shops don’t offer much information on the outside either. Rural Thailand also isn’t the sort of place where you can walk down the street and just check out stores either. Through translation tools and my broken Thai, I managed to arrange for someone to come and check out the aircon tomorrow though later got a message saying it may have to be on another day. I know all these repair people are busy fixing broken aircon everywhere at the moment.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling an improvement in my body from the stretching and hanging. Once my body felt better I felt compelled to be doing things such as a bit of cutting back the crazy vine and some watering in the garden as well as ironing my shirts. I did take an afternoon nap again though only for the duration of one play-through of Yes’s Drama today. I did feel good enough to play some guitar again too. I totally skipped it yesterday.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Aside from taking a nap and my body aches as mentioned there’s nothing that really bothered me today.

Something I learned today?

In Sapiens I was reading about The Problem of Evil and why do bad things happen to good people. If we remove the judgement elements from the sentence and reduce it to ‘why do things happen to people’, the problem disappears.

How am I feeling right now?

I’m in bed now about to read and sleep and I can feel a little ache in my back again and I’m worried I’m going to feel stiff and achy again in the morning. I’ll try to keep the advice about sleep position in my subconscious during the night and hopefully that can help. Mentally I’m feeling pretty good. Did some reading, writing, guitar playing and Thai study to keep my brain moving.

I took this picture because Tigger cries to come into the living room just so he can sit on my shirts that are waiting to be ironed.

Death Count – 28th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I know too many dead people
They creep up on you one by one
More smoke to add to the skies
It’s a problem to face head on
Out of control, it cannot be
Controlled by either you or me

Today I’m feeling:

Snoozed my alarm whilst Tigger waited patiently on the bed nearby and eventually I put him on my chest for a couple of minutes of rubs whilst I woke up and he purred affectionately.
I knew I had to get up and go as I’d arranged to meet Bruno at Utopia at 9 to go for a ride. We had a good ride around in the forest and valleys that I like just northeast of home but got pretty stuffed quickly as it was so unrelentingly hot. We had to negotiate the crazy path that I had taken about 9 months ago and this time I tipped the bike and bashed myself on some jungle growth of one kind or another giving me a big bruise on my already sore tricep but it was pretty funny and entertaining as I was travelling at zero kph at the time.
When we decided to return we found a way through the valleys that is a valid way around the checkpoint. It’s still a long way around but it’s the best option I’ve found so far. I got a bit muddy on this stretch and when we got back I limped into the 7/11 to stuff an ice cream before another coffee at Utopia. It wasn’t even midday.
I hosed off my shoes and stuck them and everything else in the washing machine and cold showered. I relaxed in the aircon for a while but suddenly got the urge to go check our guttering as it looked like it might rain. The tape I put on yesterday, over the top of the existing tape was sagging off already in one spot so I squished it up again, checked the rest and then figured to actually go look in the gutter itself.
So I climbed up the ladder and immediately saw the problem of the leaves blocking the drain and piles of them stuck at various points too. Nothing for it but to get up there and clear it out. It was dirty sweaty work but I was on a roll. After carefully getting back down again (I could hear Auntie gasping next door) I poked the hose up in the gutter to see if the water drained away. It soon became obvious that the tape was still leaking and also now there were places where the guttering was rusting through. Really, it all needs replacing with something better. Something to sort out another day.
However, I wasn’t done. I was getting dizzy but still had energy so I started clearing the drain outside the classroom which gets blocked with soil and then things growing in that. By the time I was done, I couldn’t see straight.
I got into the kitchen and stripped off again shoving my fresh pants, already dirty into the washing machine. I felt like drinking something fizzy and ended up cracking a beer and drinking a cupful before another cold shower and my third change of clothes for the day.
Eventually, I sat in the living room, drank two beers with a packet of chips as my only sustenance for the day and it wasn’t even 4pm yet. I’m in bed now at 8 pm, exhausted.

Today I’m grateful for:

The reasonably priced sunscreen that worked well to protect my hands today, everything else was covered up. I thought it would be more expensive.

The best thing about today was:

Being active, doing things, and having a feeling of achievement.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I thought I’d try and find out more about Noey at Utopia to see if she might be suitable to catsit for us in future. However, she wasn’t there and when I asked they said that she had been scratched badly by a cat and couldn’t work. Hmm.
I asked Art about her personality and he said she was trustworthy and reliable as far as he could tell but that she wasn’t very active, as in pushing herself to do more.
Then she arrived, along with her new boyfriend, to show off her scars which were minimal, to say the least, but she had a tetanus injection and perhaps was worried about any side effects from that. I asked if it was her cat that scratched her, and she said no, it was a friend’s and it’s just two months old. I asked if she had cats at home here, no, and back in her home town, again, no.
So ultimately with her lack of experience, I couldn’t see her being able to handle our big cats if they had any problems.
Well, never mind. Aing says she should be able to come and take care of them in October but my guess is that she would be happy too but come the time may not actually be able to. Amy is also asking her friends to see who may be available.

Something I learned today?

I watched a video showing how to work your way up to pull-ups, something which I don’t have the arm and shoulder strength to do. I’ll start doing the simplest wall pulls and build from there. Maybe I’ll still never be able to do a pull-up but I’ll feel better either way.

I took this picture because this buffalo looked magnificent, his leathery skin crisping in the lethal sun. Do animals like this get skin cancer?

Temptation – 27th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

Winds a-whispering such alluring tunes
over the sashaying hips of the golden dunes;
A devil tempts to caress sweet flesh,
to find soft lips to taste afresh.

The valleys first open to be explored,
the enchantment, too strong to be ignored;
A hopeless daydream, a critical situation
must be forgotten, not lost to temptation.

There, within, lies the road to destruction;
the unthinking mind, the unfeeling instruction.
Look beyond this beauty, stunning, unreal;
around each corner lies further appeal.

The holy grail is beyond where the fishes swim,
the welcoming waves beckon to dive within;
Surrounding forest and earth, both lightly scented,
this story, oft-repeated, that has been invented.

21st Nov 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #204

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and my muscles aching, the ones I barely use until I worked them out yesterday. Just 7 minutes and I’m in pain. I’m weak, I know, but I’ll give it a go. I remember all the talk about working out and taking care of your body during my years of abusing it instead. Is it too late to fix it? Well, who cares. I can’t go back so I’ll do what I can now. My aches are good aches. I know my pain, mental or physical, is good even if it sucks.

Today I’m grateful for:

The grass cutter we bought when we got here that annoys the fuck out of me as it is difficult to use, feels like it’s falling apart, hurts my hands with its violent vibrations, gives me blisters and the engine burns my skin. But I’m still grateful for it to be able to do a little bit of cutting whilst waiting for the gardeners to come and do the job properly.

The best thing about today was:

Having a burst of energy that saw me wash Amy’s doona which smelt of cat spray again. Vacuuming and cleaning parts of the floor. Do some grass-cutting and apply the tape to the guttering in the garage again as it failed to stop the leaks in this week’s rain. I like the feeling of this energy and hope it keeps perpetuating.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I almost lost my temper with the grass cutter and the body strap that supports it. In fact, I did at one point, throwing the cutter to the ground whilst it was still spinning. I think it needs a proper service and repair just to tighten things up. I use it so rarely that I forget to take it for repair and just get frustrated again when I use it! It probably needs a new blade too as I don’t have anything to sharpen it with. 

Something I learned today?

I watched a video that asked the question ‘Why make music when no one cares?’ For me and the legion who grew up on DIY punk, this question never needed to be asked and I find it ironic that it is a common question amongst modern music makers. I don’t think a self-respecting artist would make their art for any other reason than to please themselves. You are the only person that needs to care. If you are doing it for any other reason it is no longer art but just a product.

What challenges am I facing right now?

Health is my main challenge. It’s not something that I consider a major challenge like trying to ace an exam, move to a new country or such like, but more a fight against the ageing process. It is also a challenge that is just a regular fact of life. Any challenges are really self-imposed. For example, I want to improve my Thai and get better at guitar but they are not really game-changers if they fall by the way. I also challenge myself to improve in the classroom and sharing knowledge with my students.

Things like cancer, deep depression or debilitating grief would be real challenges and I’m not facing anything like that.

I took this picture because I saw this plant stem literally looking at me as I walked to the door of Utopia. Even looking at it now is kinda creepy and cool. Reminds me of the movie Labyrinth which I loved to watch whilst tripping in my 20s.

Busy With Nothing – 13th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Stuck in traffic going home
I’m busier than a bee
I’ve got no real friends to phone
To hear my annoying plea
My girlfriend or my shoes?
Everything is a problem to me
I got everything to lose
And that’s all that I can see
Running round in circles 
Is this all I’ll ever be?
Searching for the exit sign
Will you come and set me free?

Today I’m feeling:

A little inspired. My brain is gearing up slowly. A slow start off the grid but preparing to hit cruise speed as quickly as I can.

Today I’m grateful for:

Can I say coffee again? Art mixed a blend for me this morning that was delicious and smooth. So good that I stayed for three cups.
But I can’t always be putting coffee here so let’s be thankful for my back door, of which a big chunk of wood came off today. Pounded by intense sunshine, wild variations in temperature and cold mountain rain it was only a matter of time until it would start disintegrating. We have a screen door so no critters can get it thankfully.

The best thing about today was:

Watching a little lizard in my living room suddenly run out from behind the tv cabinet with its head held up. It was looking at the wall and an ant appeared from behind the curtain. After a second of stalking the ant was in its mouth and it dashed off to safety behind the cabinet again to enjoy its meal. This is a lizard house and without them, it would be an ant house.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today the aircon repair people called me but they couldn’t speak any English and my Thai wasn’t good enough but I did understand enough to hear ‘add LINE’ and I said ok. I put their phone number into LINE and their profile came up but when I clicked ‘add’ it said the account had been deleted. Thankfully it’s cooler today and there seems to be enough cool air coming through to keep the bedroom at a good temperature. I haven’t had the air on in the living room today as it has been just cool enough….but only just.

Something I learned today?

I watched a Jerry Grey video about the Chinese ‘police stations’ supposedly around the world and all roads lead back to a Swedish guy who was deported from China (I forget the reason ) who has a grudge.  The alleged ‘police stations’ are nothing more than administration offices offering services to Chinese citizens who need documents processed to save them from having to return to China to do it and all the people working in them are not diplomats so they don’t have immunity to local laws. Two people were arrested in New York and as Jerry says it is likely that no crimes will be found to have been committed but there will be no reactions or apologies ever offered and either way it’s just another small piece of propaganda on top of a huge fucking pile that has been building for years.

What’s on my mind right now?

I’m feeling a nervous excitement for the new semester and meeting new students. In some ways, I’m glad that the main classes I taught last year I will only see briefly this semester. I loved them all dearly but they sure did exhaust me testing my patience. I’m wondering if I can disconnect myself a little from my students this year. Connecting in such a way has upsides and downsides. It fills up a reciprocal affection that warms the heart yet devastates at the end of each semester when everyone goes their separate ways.

I took this picture because this tree is fully in bloom again. It seems like only a couple of months ago it was blooming. The tropics are wild.

7th June 2023 – All the flowers in this picture dropped again but now another new lot is blooming. Weird.

Wanted Dead – 5th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Another day of life spent in the shadow of the sun
This is a wasteland of the free that I’m running from
How to remain calm when surrounded by the storm?
The nail gets hammered down in order to conform

Today I’m feeling:

It feels stupidly hot today. I’ve been in aircon on full for much of the afternoon.  I finally felt good enough to drop a half of acid again, which probably isn’t helping with the heat for sure but it’s been a nice gentle happy dose that has seen the time cruise by nicely.

Today I’m grateful for:

The two new cups that Art has at Utopia that he uses for my cappuccinos now. They are Japanese and feel very nice in the hand and I can also feel that the coffee comes out smoother than in my old cup, which I liked too, it’s just different.

The best thing about today was:

With the little dose, I ended up playing guitar for a couple hours, until the B string broke which isn’t so bad as it will finally force me to change the strings.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Time does funny things when you’re dosed and I ended up not eating a proper meal today which is good news for tomorrow but I got by today on snacks, candy and lots of water and coconut juice. Lots!

Something I learned today?

I learned that Lenovo is a Chinese brand and heard about some of its history. I knew they were connected with IBM in some way but got a better idea of how they kind of merged parts of their business. 

What is my idea of the perfect vacation?

I generally feel like I’ve been on vacation for the last five years even though I’ve been working most of the time. Would a perfect vacation involve doing some other kind of work? Perhaps. The tour I had lined up for 2020 with World’s Dirtiest Sport would have been the perfect kind of vacation as I’d arranged it to go places I haven’t been before. It would’ve been work stress and fun all at the same time. It’s hard for me to even think about vacations now. I’m happy to go anywhere and enjoy the travel but don’t really have any set ideas in my head. I’d still like to look around the rest of Asia. Europe and the US aren’t really up on my list of interests these days. There’s Africa, the middle east and Latin America out there but they seem far away.

I took this picture because a couple of nights ago whilst watching TV I heard a little whine from outside and Tangmo had come to say hello, sitting patiently outside like a ghost dog. I’m not sure if he stayed around all night as he was also in the garage in the morning. 

Idle Idol – 27th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

He’s a girl and she’s a boy
Both of them a producers toy
Under makeup and bright lights
The manufactured product fights
A name that is soon forgotten
A past that’s found to be rotten
Fans are either for or against
It’s impossible to sit on the fence
If there are brains behind the mask
Showing it may be too much to ask
Flooded with undeserved affection
Failing to pass closer inspection
So idols get what they deserve
A fame that is unable to preserve
And so idle under adulation
Until another steps up to the station

Today I’m feeling:

Ok. My neck is super sore from not moving it much for a month. I did a mini warm-up this morning and will try to make it a little longer each day to prepare for my usual wake-up routine. I know this makes me feel better but just can’t motivate myself during the holiday.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding salad today at the walking market. It was pretty good though a little different to the one I usually get. For some reason, I’ve been wanting for salad recently. I think my normal seller may have given up because it’s been so long since I’ve seen them. Business is tough out there and everyone is trying to make their baht.

The best thing about today was:

Cap has spent most of the day with me and I’ve been grooming him and cutting his dreadlocks. His hair feels gorgeous again as does Tig’s, I think because of the special gel that we used to feed Kim to help counter her leukaemia.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I don’t feel there was anything today. If there was something I must have handled it without thinking and accepted it as reality.

Something I learned today?

I came across a video to help getting students to quiet down and concentrate in the classroom. I’m thinking I will try the Simon Says technique where I can bring the whole class back to focus by saying ‘Simon says stand up’ and the kids paying attention will do it and the kids that aren’t will want to know what’s going on. I also need to drill them with this in the first week so they get used to it. I hope I have better control this year. Over myself and the students.

What is my favourite photo of the past month?

With the bad air and the tragic start to this month, my mind focused a lot on pictures of Kim and they still make me sad to look at. But looking through the pictures I can see that there are still some nice ones there. Ones I will appreciate in time.

I took this picture because I took a few detours on the way home from Utopia and fresh growth smells were returning to perfume the air. But this picture shows the devastation across the mountains from fire. I don’t think these would have been burned deliberately but more likely from other small fires getting out of control.

Hostage – 24th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Held against your will
Trapped by all your thoughts
Your only getting out
Is getting out of sorts
Surrounded by a wall
Scared to be confined
A gun to the head
Made within your mind

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again today though it’s a little disappointing that it’s the last week of the holiday already.

Today I’m grateful for:

The shop in the market selling fried fish with mango, rice and nam-jhim. I was hoping to find the salad stall people but I haven’t seen them for a while now. After walking around the normal market I then went down to the walking market and was feeling disappointed but almost as I was about to leave I spotted this favourite small meal.

The best thing about today was:

Replying to Sharon’s email from a few days ago. I caught her up on my news and reread her recent emails to remind myself what she and her family have been up to. As I told her I hope Amy and I can get back there for a trip again sometime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

See below. The issue I’m having may be an operating system mismatch and there’s not much I can do about that.

Something I learned today?

This isn’t something I learned but something I want to learn and that is understanding how iCloud works across multiple devices. I haven’t really been able to figure it out at all. As I’m writing I’ve done a YouTube search and will check out done videos to see if that helps.

After an hour watching and fiddling around I’m a little wiser but still have a problem with getting files onto the Air. It looks like a bug because it makes no sense. It may also be a time issue ie I have to wait so I’ll check it tomorrow.

What moment from my past would I like to relive?

All of it. Relive it all with the wisdom I have now. If only.

I took this picture because Tangmo hadn’t been around for a week or so and I was beginning to think something bad had happened to him. He randomly and nonchalantly rocked up when I came home from Utopia though and enjoyed some rubs and snacks.

Once Around The Sun – 20th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It would’ve been your birthday
You would’ve got my call
Wishing you more happiness
No matter how small
I guess it still is your birthday
You’re just not here to see
I miss you more each year
And one day it will be me

Mum would’ve been 88 years old today.

Today I’m feeling:

Similar to yesterday, though a little tired due to not sleeping until about 2am but still trying to wake up early. I’m trying to get up at 8 am but didn’t make it until 9 this morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Surprise messages from my students Nam and Anchan, Anchan asking me for advice on love.  Unsure if I’m the best to be asking for advice I think I said it well.

She asked:”Do you think age affects love? For example, there is a kid in middle school. And the person he talks to or likes is in college. Do you think it’s possible?”

I took her meaning to be that it is her in middle school (she is 13) and is interested in someone older (maybe 18 or 19).

“Yes, I think age affects love.

As we get older and have more experiences we get a better understanding of it’s meaning. But only if we learn from our mistakes and don’t keep repeating them.

We learn what deep unconditional love means. We also learn the difference between love and sex.

At your age, you are curious about both, love and sex. I advise you to be cautious. Learn about the person you are interested in before committing your heart or your body to someone.

You are smart and more mature than others of your age. This makes you attractive to older boys. But without experience, it may also be easy for them to manipulate you into doing something you may regret. So, take it slow. You have lots of time, more than you realise.”

The best thing about today was:

A storm! Finally! After almost hitting 40 degrees again, the afternoon skies darkened though it still seemed likely this would be another apparition. Then came the wind and eventually peals of thunder rolled over the mountains bringing precious rain.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The storm picked up and the tall cactus fell over in its pot. The wind was now going sideways and the roof over the entertainment area rattled its objection until finally part of it ripped free clapping against itself as loud as the thunder. I ran to it and tried to hold it down when the wind switched around and blew it flat again but my weak fingers were no match for the power of the storm. As I was grabbing at it my fingers slammed against the metal frame and cold water poured down my arms in the channel my grip was making in the roof. After a couple of minutes of the roof ripping out of my hands, I found a breeze block and pushed it on the frame and part of the roof that was still secure. How was I going to get it on the roof to hold it down though? There was a tiny gap about my finger’s width, if I pulled the roof down again and then I could inch the block over slowly. This took a couple of attempts and it finally seemed to be working. The wind was also dissipating and I caught my breath investigating further damage. The papaya tree was uprooted again, this time in a different direction than last year’s uprooting. The garage gutter reminded me of its dodgy joins leaking over everything in the shed but that was not so unexpected. As the rain trailed off the thunder continued rattling the windows of the house and I came indoors shivering wet, pants completely soaked, covered in leaves and bleeding at the wrist. I did, however, feel invigorated, much like the visit to the waterfall. I took a shower and threw my wet clothes in the washing machine.

Something I learned today?

The proposed 300 baht arrival tax in Thailand has been delayed because wants the money but has been trying to get the airlines to do the work. Rightly, they said it was impossible. Next, the idea was for the hotels to do it. Rightly, they told them to shove it!

What is something I am grateful to have learned recently?

I have been reminded of the tragic lesson of death. I don’t feel grateful for its tap on the shoulder right now but perhaps I will in the future.


I took this picture because P’ti was looking all relaxed and handsome here, as ever, by the door at Utopia. He is fascinated with what is through the window. At what is only briefly accessible. P’ti is about the same age as Kim Chi and we once brought Kim here on the way to the vet where they met each other for a moment. I hope P’ti lives a long life and brings more happiness to the world he inhabits.

The Dream Is Dead – 19th April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

My grandparents took their dreams
And able to make them real
Fought the good fight for freedom
And allowed their pain to heal

Each generation wants for its young
To climb up ever higher
When dreams could come true
Those values would inspire

But now those dreams are fading
I’ll never see the top
Members of the last generation
Before we come to a stop

Today I’m feeling:

Better than yesterday though still subject to darkness. Unenthused and flat. By evening I was feeling pretty good.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aircon. How did people survive without aircon!? Folks here are used to it and I’m getting more used to it but it’s 40 degrees today and even riding a bike around in the shade has no cooling effect. It reminds me of the time riding around in Rhodes back in 1994.
I rode past a pineapple factory where hill tribe people sit around tables cutting up the fruit. They are undercover but outdoors, many wearing clothes to cover much of their skin so as not to look so tan which is virtually impossible for them!

The best thing about today was:

Just generally feeling better than yesterday.   I hope the rest of the week continues like this.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Somehow I’ve ended up going through the day without eating a meal. I’ve had a few snacks but perhaps the heat has tempered any hunger. I’m wondering how this might affect my mood tomorrow. I need to consider my eating habits and how it can change my mood.

Something I learned today?

I read about the Drowning Child thought-experiment about how we might choose to help someone in need right in front of us but not even consider them if it is out of sight. Or more provocatively that we might choose not to help them because we can’t help everyone. Also to consider if we should try to save someone if they have a life ahead of them as opposed to someone nearer the end of their life. It reminds me of someone who saves another person from drowning but themselves drown during the action.

I think I would be someone who tries to help someone who is struggling right in front of me. It would depend on a lot of factors many of which could even make me freeze with fear at the time. I can struggle with making fast decisions sometimes.

Did I make a good decision today?

Some days, yesterday for instance, just feel like they have you beat. Today I woke up with a different feeling and it’s difficult to pin down why. I took my computer to Utopia and pushed myself to do some work. This was a positive step. After coffee, I came home and much as every other day during this holiday watched some YouTube videos. But by the afternoon, still feeling reasonably ok, I again pushed myself along to take advantage of this slight upswing in mood and decided on an afternoon coffee but taking the long way there. With the slightly improved air conditions, things felt a bit less oppressive than in recent weeks. Sun was actually breaking through to cast shadows on the ground. Of course, this meant the heat was trapped and pushed the temperature up to 40 degrees and the feeling of it being even hotter. The daily promised storms still haven’t arrived and even the tokays have given up asking for relief. It’s too hot for mosquitoes.

Anyway, whilst the decision to get out felt quite natural and normal it was definitely a better choice than staying at home today.

I took this picture because the sky is clearing a little to produce some colour in things again. These blooms stand out around this fishing lake. I’m not sure of the type of tree but it has long bean-like seed pods like an acacia.