Pretty good again. Trying not to think too much about the events on this day last year. We go on until we don’t.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to easily find the Chinese TV version of The Three Body Problem. I’ll watch that over the holidays.
The best thing about today was:
Being able to sneak a coffee from 22 Grams this afternoon as we took Cap to get checked at the vet. Still the best coffee in Chiang Rai for me.
Cap’s blood levels are a little high for his kidneys now so we have to get him tested again in a couple of weeks.
Something I learned today?
I think it is at the UN that the USA is always found in breach of rules and they always launch an appeal.
But appeals are never heard so that the USA doesn’t have to follow the rules until the appeal is over.
Why are the appeals never heard? Because since the last two appeals judges retired the USA has blocked the positions of any new ones.
Hmm – and they call themselves part of the rules-based order.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I ordered a 32” globe for Amy as an anniversary gift. I hope it isn’t too plastic and cheap-looking when it arrives.
I took this picture because yesterday the gardeners came and tried to trip our hedge so that we push the fence back up. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple and we’ll ask the builder who is coming to fix the drain in the garage soon.
The truth took the wind from me I’m still not ready to stand This isn’t the way it was meant to be It’s not quite how I planned
I cannot face this world today Please comfort me, I am in need Give me the power to walk away To heal me as I bleed
Together in the world we’ve built And the challenges we are thrown After all the tears we’ve spilled We will never walk alone
A second submission to WDYS (picture above) and inspired by events from last night
Today I’m feeling:
Super tired due to waking up a couple of times during the night as Amy was checking on Cap who was very restless and crying often.
It’s still difficult to see if there is anything specifically wrong but Amy will take him back to the vet to double-check this morning.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding Amy starting to watch the Netflix version of the Three Body Problem, so I said Hey, let’s watch it together.
I will try to put out of my mind how good the books were and try to judge this on its own merits.
The best thing about today was:
Cap seeming to improve a little after stopping one of the medicines the vet had given him a couple of days ago. He’s still not eating or drinking much but he seems to be getting better rest and looks to be in less discomfort.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I rolled with the things that were working against me and sure enough, by sitting still and doing nothing, the world revolved full circle and back into my favour.
Something I learned today?
I met Kru Ren this morning and discovered that he has been tasked with creating the full curriculum for the integrated English classes next year. He’s flummoxed! He knows what a stupidly huge task he has been given and I commiserated with him because it’s pretty crazy to be given just a few weeks (that should be a holiday) to prepare.
It seems that he is also tasked to teach it and he has made the same complaint as myself – we don’t have the knowledge level to teach the sciences and other subjects.
Even things that we do have knowledge of would take much preparation to teach at the grade 7 level.
When I was doing the same in primary it would often take me six hours prep to teach a two hour class!
Good luck Kru Ren!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I talked with Kru Lucky about information on scholarships and exchange programs to pass on to Anchan, which I duly did.
To be honest, I’m not very optimistic that she can achieve a full scholarship and I hope that she doesn’t get disheartened.
She did seem to have a couple of backup plans though so it seems she has already thought about this.
She’s a good kid and deserves better than what her situation is offering her.
I took this picture because as I was waiting for Amy this little chap flew up for a quick inspection and I just managed to get my phone out in time for this shot before darting off to his nest.
I’ve got some energy today, mainly through having ideas for lessons for next semester, which I need to focus on this week in preparation.
I just hope that what I’m working on is suitable for the students and not above their level.
I sometimes overestimate how skilled the students are and as this is my first time teaching grade 12 I have some reservations.
Today I’m grateful for:
Cap being able to come home from the vet. He hates being there as he is a princess scaredy-cat a lot of the time.
I doubt he slept much for the last three days but the saline has helped stabilise his blood levels and hopefully, he soon gets his appetite back.
The best thing about today was:
Getting on a roll with my lessons. I checked with the grade 12 teacher from last year and they were very supportive of what I was hoping to teach some of these students.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I talked to Kru Mai about changing one of my classes so that they matched the other classes in that grade and he said he will look at it.
But in the process of that conversation, the annual discussion of integrated study came up again and our grade 7 and 10 classes may need to follow that format.
I argued against this unless we are given the lessons to teach (which is not likely). Every year they try to implement this and it’s always been shot down but it looks they are going to try and muscle it in somehow this time.
Also, any rejigging of our classes may also mean I don’t end up teaching the grade 12s that I just spent all day working on lessons for. I asked if that could be left alone because I hope that I can get this opportunity to test out my skills and abilities, as well as the students.
Something I learned today?
USA TikTok users said that they were worried if the company was sold to a US corporation, believing that it would be more censored and restricted than it is currently as a subsidiary of a Chinese company.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Amy asked me to do many little things for her this evening and I’ve done them as required, even though it interrupted things that I was doing.
I took this picture because the full moon was looking rad as I went out to help Amy in the teaching room. She has plans for it but I’m not sure exactly what yet.
Phlegmy and short of breath. I slept fairly well but yesterday another piece of porcelain fell off one of my teeth and has made it sensitive. One tooth fixed, another one broke!
Today I’m grateful for:
A storm! Hooray! I noted last year that we had a storm around this time in March which cleared the air for a while, but then got much worse as more fires were lit once it dried out again, which doesn’t take long. The forecast is for ten or more days of 35-degree plus sunny weather after today! Oh well, enjoy the air while it is breathable.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some positive feedback on some of my poetry and being inspired to write more, as well as trying to read and appreciate more of what others write.
Something I learned today?
My old student, and Baipad’s best friend, Jan will change schools to Sammakhi next semester. I hope Baipad doesn’t miss her too much though she knew that they wouldn’t be in the same class next year anyway, so she was hopefully a little prepared to accept this news.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Again, I randomly messaged a few of my students to chat and encourage them in their holidays. Tonaor was having a bad time with a boy so I comforted and encouraged her. And of course, I congratulated Jan on getting into Sammakhi.
I also messaged Nice, my old primary student, who I will teach again next semester. I asked for her input to help me plan what to teach them and she was very helpful, which I really appreciated.
When I got home at lunchtime Amy wanted to take Cap to the vet, which was ok with me. In the end, I’m glad we did as one of his blood levels was slightly high and they recommended for him to stay in a couple of days on a drip to help stabilise that because it can become more critical.
Amy took this picture because the surprise morning storm blew all the smoke away to reveal the blue sky again. Though only for an hour or two!
Exhausted despite a long sleep. I don’t feel good after arguing with Amy last night. Amy also doesn’t remember some of the things we discussed last night but just remembers that she’s upset.
She forgot part of our plan this morning for taking Cap to the vet and heading to get the truck first. It was annoying to me as it triggered another argument last night and yet was forgotten by the morning.
I feel dumb even writing this down.
I should be more patient, more forgiving, more understanding. I should be better than this and I don’t know why I behave the way I do sometimes.
As I was drifting off to sleep last night I was reminded of what I told Baipad when she was having problems with her mum, that we ‘save our worst behaviour for the people we love the most.’ I want to change that.
Today I’m grateful for:
My job and this school, today organising a great graduation event (at least after all the boring parts were completed anyway) for grade 9s and 12s, some of whom we won’t be seeing again.
I could feel that the students were in a celebratory mood but also with a slight tinge of sadness as life will change for them all in the next couple of months, whether moving on to university, high school or a job.
The best thing about today was:
Definitely the atmosphere in the school. It was a relaxed party time for everyone.
I had a lot of fun with some of my monkey students and couldn’t believe what time it was when I thought about leaving. A few kids were also keen to introduce me to their parents.
Days like this make the grind worthwhile.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Only a couple of minor and inconsequential things that were easily dealt with.
Something I learned today?
Starbucks is having to lay off workers as the company is being boycotted for its support of Israel. Good.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I took Amy (and Cap) to pick up her truck and she will take Cap to the vet. Between us, at some point today, one of us needs to pick up her mum from the hospital and take her back home.
If I’m available then I will do it, no problem. However, as today is the M3 and M6 graduation ceremony I don’t know exactly what times I will be able to get out.
What moment from today do I want to remember?
I want to revel in the happiness that my grade 9 students were feeling for completing their first three years of high school.
It hasn’t been easy for them or us as teachers as they were particularly affected by pandemic restrictions and having to study online for much of their first semester together. It took them longer to bond and get into the swing of studying once back in the classroom.
I can still remember them and their immaturity, slowly changing into young men and women, slowly figuring out their places in their world. It’s a fabulous feeling and I really enjoy watching it.
Some photos will help me remember too.
I took this picture because Sarah is the funniest monkey. She was a problem to deal with in grade 7 but she found her way and can still have fun but also learn some things too.
Pretty relaxed and happy. A little tired as Amy kept me up late when she got home last night, tired and emotional, overthinking about family things.
Today I’m grateful for:
The jelly candies that I bought in Mae Sai last month. I’ve been eating them myself because they are delicious but they are also a good candy to give to my students as treats. They mostly prefer them over the fruity Mentos.
The best thing about today was:
Having my students read one-on-one and two-on-one in my classes today. I was happily surprised by a couple of students’ improvement over the last twelve months. I like this time of year for the relaxed attitude towards study.
I’ve thought before that it would be good if it could be like this all the time but when I think deeper it is perhaps because of all the pushing and hard work during the year that they have gotten more comfortable with their study.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In the morning Amy told me she wanted me to come home between classes to take Cap to the vet. I wasn’t into this idea because I wanted to chill at the cafe, catching up on reading and also because with the change of plans at the weekend it meant driving to the city and back twice instead of once. Her plan for today would’ve meant another two trips in one day.
I suggested it would be better to wait until we got the truck back and then she can take Cap at her leisure. Thankfully she agreed to this idea before I left for school.
Something I learned today?
I saw a headline about a Palestinian mother’s newborn twin babies who were killed in an Israeli airstrike. She had been waiting ten years to conceive.
Zionists sure know how to inspire hatred. This will not end well.
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 24. Never Look Back Too Long. Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: Learning.
I am taking a lot of time looking back these days as I go through putting information into this blog. I am sometimes nostalgic but as the life lesson says, I am using this information for learning.
I’ve almost fully given myself over to my students and Amy these days. I’m less inward-focused in my day-to-day life even though I do do a lot of thinking.
I’m happy where I’m at though not sure where I am going just now.
I took this picture of the flowering tree that I park my car under in the afternoons, in a vague attempt at keeping it cool. The flowers are pretty. I think I took a similar picture last year.
Loyal bones are buried everywhere in the green hills* It’s not the revolutions that make our end For the good of all may be the bitterest of pills But is just a moment of the life you’ll spend
The mountains green, the never-ending seas They belong to us, all of our humanity They can be divided in any way we please For the good of everyone’s sanity
Your loyal bones will be all too soon forgotten But the paths you made will be followed Each generation new bones become rotten After those bitter pills have been swallowed
*This line is from Xi Jinping
Today I’m feeling:
Very good and relaxed again. Even though I’m not excited about having to take Tigger to the vet again after work I feel like I have the energy to get me through. Today was the second day doing double exercise and though it’s tough I’m feeling better for it.
Today I’m grateful for:
Meeting my grade 10 students by chance in the library and having good meaningful conversations with them. Outside the classroom, there is more space to relax and chat and they were very keen and didn’t want me to leave. We struggled by with their poor English, my poor Thai and translation. It was nice, though I had planned to do some printing and ran out of time.
The best thing about today was:
As this semester nears its end I feel like all my classes clearly understand what I require of them. This was exemplified today with my grade 8 class whom I gave work to do before my class and they understood that if they did the work beforehand they could just show me, fix any errors and then they were free to go at class time.
Along with the conscientious kids, all the usually lazy ones are the first to get it done because they want to be finished for the day as soon as they can. There’s about half the class that don’t worry either way but I can see them working together to do the work quickly during class time.
They are learning the benefits of getting the job done at least and don’t complain at me any more!
At the same time, I have made my life easier too!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Taking Tigger to the vet and I’m stuck on the highway in a non-moving traffic jam. I can’t even see ahead to what is causing it and I’m imagining that some workers are stupidly doing something at rush hour because that happens here often.
(later) It was. Laying drains to stop flooding. Why do it in the rainy season! Why do it during the day and at rush hour?
Something I learned today?
Sinead O’Connor has died. I never really got into her music but I did respect her in some ways. She seemed to be an outsider, stuck inside the music industry. In my old one-sheet giveaway fanzine Fuck Around each issue I dedicated a section to a picture of her titled Sinead O’Corner and left it without any context. I just thought she was attractive with her tomboy hair. As I perceived her as an underdog I rooted for her. Ripping up a picture of the Pope on live TV gained my deepest respect.
Do I spend more time thinking about the future or the past?
The past of course! That’s what this whole bloggedy business is all about.
I don’t really remember thinking much about the future before 1994. To be honest I had no ideas before that. Now that 30 more years have passed there’s more of my life gone by than I can expect to come. Whatever the future brings is ok.
I took these pictures because I went in to see my old students and found many of them in deep sleep. What a crazy country. I like it. School here is just totally unlike what I experienced. This is where culture starts.
A genius level of stupid I always knew you would be good At something no one needed And remain misunderstood
A stupid level of genius Makes for far too few friends And alliterating the point Is unlikely to make amends
Today I’m feeling:
It’s late afternoon and it feels like I haven’t thought about how I’ve been feeling today. That’s kinda good. Some emotional stability maybe?
It’s been a good day with little stress and if I do stop to think about it, I feel happy.
Today I’m grateful for:
Fon sending me more sourdough bread again. I had to stop myself from eating it all immediately so that I can enjoy it tomorrow too.
The best thing about today was:
Today was one of those smooth pleasant days without any real highs or lows. I was happy that I was inspired to write a couple of poems in my break though.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Yesterday evening passed so quickly, with two hours being taken up with taking Tig to the vet, that I dropped my streaks in my language apps. I didn’t even realise or remember until this evening when I saw a notification about it.
Something I learned today?
I learned that it is August’s (the dancer) birthday on Friday. I only know because I just happened to see it in LINE when I was clicking around. It also may not actually be her birthday.
Anyway, will I remember it on Friday? Even if I ran into her I think I would still forget. I’ll set myself a notification but even then I may not see it.
Knowing so many kids it seems like there’s a birthday every week.
What is a compliment I’ll never forget?
As I’m trying to remember a compliment, I’m reminded of a time when I was in my early twenties and there was a cute new girl hanging out with one of my groups of friends (though I forget who). Anyway, thinking she was cute and interesting I was quite taken when I came by our mutual friends one day and she said ‘Here he is, the enigmatic Shaun.’
I thought of this as a compliment, thinking, hoping that she liked me though as I’ve gotten older I think enigma has a little bit of a negative connotation, like a little difficult or standoffish. I guess between young adults though it would still usually have positive connotations.
In the end, I think I only met this girl three or four times before our lives span off in other directions.
Otherwise, I believe I have forgotten all the compliments I’ve received, though knowing that I have received them.
I’m not a fisher for compliments and as alluded to above, perhaps I can be perceived as standoffish. I’m happy to accept a compliment but soon dismiss its importance.
If I receive compliments I just assume it was for something that was just the right or good thing to do.
Quote: Devote the rest of your life to making progress – Epictetus
I can feel my rate of progress slowing down these days, which is quite natural but also slightly disheartening. I’m not so much in wonder of things going on in the world or my life, having done my small share of exploring it already.
I do still go off on tangents of discovery but notice that processes are much the same from one subject to another. Maybe I’ve been looking at too many philosophy texts and have boiled down life to its essence.
This reminds me again of the lyric, which I’ve probably quoted before, by Built To Spill, ‘Life goes on long after the thrill of it has gone.’
Having said that I do never want to stop reading, learning, and progressing even if it appears I may be just spinning my wheels. I can fool myself easily.
I took this picture because Tigger was at the door waiting to be let in and padded around the table and looked up expectantly, ‘Lie down so I can sit on….quickly!’ So I did and so he did.Fatman report
Hiding in the dark webs, to lurk and deceive More reckless the more special you believe Cyberpunk psychopaths, momentary flame Burned white hot until the end of the game
Today I’m feeling:
Yesterday’s afternoon coffee kept me until midnight reading comics though I fell asleep immediately once I turned off my iPad. A nice lazy nine hours later and I’m up and drinking coffee at Utopia preparing my mind for the two days of school this week.
Today I’m grateful for:
Anything. Sometimes I feel that I take everything for granted. I think about just putting on some good shoes and walking down the highway to Bangkok with nothing. To put myself in some ridiculous situation that I will never actually attempt, and remind myself just how good I have it.
I know I have it easy yet sometimes feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
The best thing about today was:
Amy’s carrot cake which improves over time. This evening it was more delicious than yesterday, perhaps also aided by my hunger. Nuts, vegetables, cake. That’s my dinner.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Tigger didn’t eat this morning which is a bit unusual but sometimes when he has a hairball he’s like that. He did eat a little bit in the afternoon but he looked a bit exhausted. Amy decided we should take him to the vet where they found he had an infection and fever. They gave him some medicine and he immediately perked up though he was still obviously stressed to be at the vet’s. We have to keep him inside for a couple of days and take him back again on Saturday.
Something I learned today?
Stupid humans can make a story out of nothing and call it news. Ok, I didn’t learn this today but it was reinforced when mainstream media headlined a story that ‘Chinese zoo accused of a bear being a human in a bear suit’. I’m getting to the point again of cutting out news media from my life, even ones that are of interest to me as they often highlight and ridicule the stupid humans doing and saying stupid things. I want to believe that the majority is better than that.
What is one thing I can do to improve my mental well-being?
Exercise. That’s it. I know it works and it’s the hardest to motivate yourself to do when your mental health is not good.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to worry less about ______ and more about ______.
I’ve been looking at this prompt for several days now and am still not sure what to write. I’m struggling to recall some of the things that I used to worry about or that, looking back, weren’t actually worth worrying about at that time.
Sometimes I would worry about what people thought of me but then at other times didn’t care at all. I still don’t much care though I’m not arrogant or over the top about it.
Amy told her friends that I’m an introvert but I don’t think I am particularly. I just don’t interact much with people who don’t really fall into my group of interests. And I’m ok to be by myself. I don’t need attention.
When I was younger I worried a little about money because it was difficult to find. I don’t have a need to worry about that too much these days.
I used to feel incomplete without a girlfriend but I never really worried about it, it was just a desire to be sharing my life with one person. I’m not sure why that was.
So maybe I would tell myself not to have worried about that so much and learned to love myself more and sooner.
In some ways, I grew up slowly, about ten years later than the stereotypical norm. I was in my early 30s when I was behaving like I was in my early 20s. That’s OK. I got there in the end and maybe it’s keeping me feeling ten years younger than I actually am.
I took this picture because Cap has been squeezing himself into Kim’s old favourite sleeping spot. You can still see Kim’s fur along the edges. I miss her so much and every time I think of her I get teary and the only way I cope is to not think of her. Cap is too big for the space so bits of him flow over the edges.
Nothing but total victory will suffice Is at the heart of democratic advice Diplomacy is an admission of defeat Propaganda must make victory complete
Cutting off the head is seen to win The hearts and minds of those within Here we go again, history repeated Total victory has been totally defeated
Today I’m feeling:
Woke up tired after not sleeping until about 1 am as I’d been busy setting up my computer again. Feeling right after coffees!
Today I’m grateful for:
All the people in the world who make it possible for me to get my computer running the way I want. It often involves a little bit of fiddling around to get dodgy bits and pieces of software going but once it’s done I forget about it until the next time I have to rebuild my computer.
The best thing about today was:
I took Cap back to the vet to check his blood and got the all-clear which was good news. Cap talked all the way there and back and was relieved once home again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was upset over something that happened with one of her friends and even though I thought I was saying the right thing it wasn’t what she wanted to hear so she hung up the call. Unfortunately, her upset transferred to me and I just felt grumpy after that so I took an afternoon nap which was enjoyable at least.
I still feel a little uninspired and bored after that though. I didn’t feel like playing guitar which I had been looking forward to in the morning. I ended up just playing Xbox for a while and even that felt like a struggle.
Something I learned today?
I learned how to play Dishonored 2 on Xbox. I enjoyed the first game and this one looks good too but my head is just not in the right space at the moment for time wasting like this. That could change in a couple of days though.
What are a few of my favourite wise quotes?
Check out any entries from last year. One every day.
I took this picture because these plants are getting their new leaves. Even the one that looked totally dead has hung on for another year.
1994ever 