The Great Music Stealer – 26th February 2024

Been through all my mp3s
Got them into folders
Making them easier to find
Tagged with genre holders
Downloaded semi-legally
Some, decades ago
Now they are all mine
Apparently so

Now I have cloud storage
Folders I can share
7 million songs
Are waiting for you there
Music, the great healer
In any shape or form
From drum to vinyl to CD
And now digital the norm!

Humorously written in reply to Music the great healer here at Poet’s Corner

Been through all my vinyl
got them into plastic sleeves
protection from the dust and grime
that passing time it leaves
Cathartic, it was wholesome
remembering the time
when I purchased each and brought them
home when they were all then mine

And now I have a flight case
with a selection waiting there
to play on my turntable
and with some others share
Music, the great healer
it is a remedy to cure
or at very least bring respite
as its purpose is so pure

©Jemverse


Today I’m feeling:

A little better this morning. I started feeling a little better last night but crashed out early deliriously in and out of consciousness hearing the duff duff of the DJ and Amy’s screams. Amy was the last one standing, as usual, dancing on her own as everyone else retired and left.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing and Now, who have been borrowing our bike and car but put petrol in them and got the front tyre of the bike replaced when it went flat last night.

The best thing about today was:

Reading more of this book about the Rise and Fall of the British Empire, this time about the way the British dealt with China from 1800 onwards.  

I’ve read about this history before and it still makes me upset.  I kind of felt smug whilst reading it this time though, knowing how the UK is fairing in the world these days compared to China.

Something I learned today?

In Vietnam, for many drunk drivers, it’s cheaper to abandon the bike than to pay the fine. Now the police are wondering what to do with them all…

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I helped Baipad with work and motivation for about an hour and a half this morning and I think she carried on working after I left and hopefully finished them all.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  21. Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously. Yeah, yeah, you’re an individual, and people have to take you seriously, I get it. But at the end of the day, we’re all a bunch of ants trying to chase the same things. Lighten up.

I don’t take myself too seriously though I do take what I do seriously.  

People say I am serious but I think that it is just that I am not easily amused by many people, not adults.

It’s hard to be serious surrounded by naughty 13-year-olds much of the day and whilst it’s still easy to fall down to their level I hope I at least pull them up a little bit to mine.  

I don’t mind being a clown or a fool for the sake of the kids.  It makes me laugh to think of adults looking down on me for clowning around.

I’ll Start Life Tomorrow – 15th September 2023

I still want a bowl of ice cream for breakfast
To burst my pimples onto the mirror
My floor will forever be my wardrobe
And three-day-old socks may get one more chance
I love the delicious pain of peeling scabs
To reveal the gloop of the human inside
Doodling nonsense when time drags its hands
A daydream may be the best part of today

Sniffs of cigarettes and beer
Deny both my health and wealth
I laugh at the cars racing by
With fist shaken out of the window
I’ll happily kick a stone along the road
And score the winning goal for my team
This tree was made to climb
And my feet to cushion the jump

Racing a friend for no reason
All rules are there to be broken


Today I’m feeling:

Happy to have arrived at Friday. I feel better this week than last. Hopefully, all this exercising is providing me with a little more stamina each week.

Having said that I’m expecting to enjoy a sleep-in tomorrow morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

The candy that has been in my kitchen for about six months. It’s not that I don’t like it but just haven’t thought about eating it recently. 

As I had run out of candy that I usually kept in the car earlier this week, some of my students were left disappointed when I had none to give them so I grabbed a handful from the kitchen this morning. The students were happy to receive a treat as they were waiting in line to get a vaccination before classes started. Some students used this as an excuse to go home early (the vaccination, not the candy!). 

The best thing about today was:

Talking one one-on-one with some of my grade 7 students again, like I did last year. It’s always revealing to get little snippets of what they really think, especially about each other. It’s also easier to give them individual encouragement.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The thing I complained about yesterday with one class not helping themselves was repeated again with another class today. So maybe the fault is with me. I need to come up with a better way to get these kids focused and engaged. It’s a constant challenge.

Something I learned today?

There are still 80 million unexploded bombs in Laos, dropped by the USA after bombing raids in Vietnam. If their planes had bombs left on board it was safer (for the plane crew) to drop them rather than trying to land with them. The USA has never been held accountable, along with many other atrocities they have committed around the globe. What a despicable, fucked up country the USA is.

Who do I miss from my past?

Those that have died. Steve, my mum, Kimi.

I don’t feel like I miss anyone who is still alive as it is relatively easy to contact just about anyone. This connects with yesterday’s prompt about taking things for granted though. One day these people will die and I may regret not contacting them when I had the chance.

I miss the feelings I had with certain people as certain times in past. I cherish the emotions and the meaning of those times more than the idea of talking to the particular people involved again.

I’m not sure who took this picture because I left my phone at my side whilst I was concentrating on listening to another student reading and just now found this picture, the only one taken today.

Red Skies – 19th February 2023

As the book opens, princesses are yawning
Dead-eyed dogs trudge homeward
Bamboo whistles in the wind
Lulling all with the promise of reprieve
Here at the edges of time
The world diverges for those to clash
Mad deviations keep the wheels greased
For those dogs forever fighting
The red sky denied, turns blue
Filled with the joyful and forlorn
Intermissions inspire reflection
About the dogs that stalk the dark


Today I’m feeling:

Happy and better than yesterday.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Thai teachers around me who were helpful and also amusing. Despite having to ‘work’ all weekend it was interesting enough and time passed by quickly thanks to the pleasant atmosphere.

The best thing about today was:

Finding out about some cool features of some of the tools we were learning today, enough to make me consider paying the small fee to access them. They would help enhance my classes a little.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Not having enough time at home to get all the chores that should have been completed on time. How did I handle it? By doing them, but not on time. It’s not the biggest issue but it means leaving wet washing outside overnight.

Also, I wasn’t able to shampoo Tigger again and he really needs it. I hope to do that on Tuesday afternoon if nothing else comes up.

Although these things are not really in my control I don’t consider them to be that important that they are giving me too much stress. There was a time when I would’ve let these things bother me more.

Something I learned today?

From reading an online post I found out that perhaps Hanoi is comparable to Chiang Mai and HCMC to Bangkok. Armed with that information I think I would prefer northern Vietnam to the south. Not that I wouldn’t want to check it all out for myself.

The writer described Hanoi as more of a collection of villages that have become joined and it is still quick and easy to get out into the mountains and jungles.

How do my thoughts and emotions impact my daily life?

My thoughts need to counter my emotions so I can stay in control. I get better at this though that may be due to avoiding people rather than actual improvement in control!

I took this picture because I knew there weren’t going to be many other chances to take photos today. I dropped into Utopia for my coffee, drinking it quickly but enjoying it immensely. Art gave me a new blend today that was light but zingy.

We got that attitude! – 20th March 2020

I am so happy and grateful that we are financially stable and don’t have to worry about money so much.

A conversation between Col. Harvey G. Summers and a North Vietnamese colonel after the Vietnam war. Summers pointed out that the US was never beaten on the battlefield. The colonel replied “That is true. It is also irrelevant.”

To-do list

  • Continue planning outlines ½
  • Online refunds
  • Picture for Fern and Art

Didn’t even make it out to my room today. Used my laptop a little bit on the lounge – apart from that, a lazy, lazy day.

With a snap of my fingers, in the blink of an eye – 10th January 2020

How can I surprise my partner?

This is a tough question. After more than 10 years together we don’t have many surprises these days. I was thinking I would like to book us our holiday in Vietnam as a surprise but curious that she may just get upset for not consulting her. We have our ten-year anniversary coming up – perhaps I could book us a place to stay for the night. Yep – that’s what I’ll do – find a 5-star resort in the mountains and we’ll spend our anniversary there.

18th Dec 2022 – I did book this but Covid got in the way as everything shut down. I booked it again a second time in 2021 and that too didn’t work out as lockdowns happened in Thailand at different stages.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Amy when she cooks me breakfast in the morning and doesn’t complain to clean the dishes and iron my shirts. I will try to do these things more when I can share our burden.

Commonplace book for work

Use this space to write out quotes, passages and thoughts that have some meaning for me. These could come from anywhere.

On Journaling

Prepare for the day ahead

Each morning you should prepare, plan and meditate on how you aim to act that day. You should be envisioning everything that may come and steeling yourself so you’re ready to conquer it. As Seneca wrote “The wise will start each day with the thought ‘Fortune gives us nothing which we can really own.’ Or think of Marcus’ reminder ‘When you wake up in the morning tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

Put the day up for review

Stoicism isn’t just about thinking, it’s about action – and the best way to improve is to review. Each evening you should, like Seneca did, examine your day and your actions. As he put it “When the light has been removed and my wife has fallen silent, aware of this habit that is now mine, I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” The question should be: Did I follow my plans for the day? Was I prepared enough? What could I do better? What have I learned that will help me tomorrow?

To-do list

  • Drive slowly and safely – enjoy the journey ✅
  • Talk with John and learn more about him
  • Prepare yourself to meet UK bureaucracy ✅
  • Go to the bookshop if you have time ✅
  • Be courteous to all traffic ✅

I fairly lazily drove over the mountains today and really enjoyed it. I was somewhat sad to arrive. I managed to do everything I planned and bought 5 books at the bookshop. A bit of an extravagance as none of them are on my to-read list.

The application for a new passport was also a completely painless experience for which I’m grateful.

I have very much enjoyed today so far sit now waiting for John to arrive and open his bar. The old auntie here, collecting parking money, shouts instructions from her wheelchair, as the cars pull into the driveway. John is running on Thai time and I’m starting to flake, the long day catching up with me.

I gave it half an hour and decided to leave, tiredness getting the better of me.

At Oh’s place and loved playing and petting her two puppies – once we had become friends. I suppose I could’ve waited for John for longer but don’t feel bad for not. I’m sure we’ll meet someday. It’s just nice to put a real personality to the online persona.

Tomorrow I have to drive back and teach Khawtang and Prang/Sea. Based on how I’m feeling right now, I’m going to be exhausted. Hopefully, I can enjoy some free time on Sunday.

History is what’s happening – 12th-15th February 2018

A fond farewell to Hayden in Brisbane as we lugged luggage again, two coffees down before boarding the plane.  It was nice to fly in over Sydney (yet again) and if Brisbane was 10 times busier than Adelaide then Sydney repeated the feat over Brisbane especially as I struggled with my bags at two stations that didn’t have lifts.  My dodgy elbows are extremely upset with me but what can a poor boy do.

Tonight I would stay with my friend Billie, her husband Jade and their daughter, Nexis, in the upmarket suburb of Killara on the North Shore of Sydney.  They live in a house far too big for them, boxes still not unpacked from moving in 9 months ago.  It did mean they could offer a spare room for this temporarily homeless wanderer for which I was grateful.

I met Billie about 10 or 11 years ago when I was part of a dragon boat racing team, representing Australia (somehow!), in a dirty bay on Hong Kong Island.  Billie’s family head the institute of dragon boat racing in HK and Billie and her sister, Mandy, were the compere’s for the races.  Both girls were and are extremely attractive and, Billie especially, bright and outgoing positive personalities.

Needless to say, they attracted the attention of the white boys at the races and at the drunken awards dinner on our last night there.  Myself and another racer went out later for supper with Billie and we decided to stay in touch through email just in case our paths crossed again, under the pretence of sharing our photos of the week’s events with one another.

A few years later our paths did cross again as Billie became an air hostess with Cathay Pacific airlines.  This, of course, took her all over the world, and eventually to Sydney.  She got in touch and we met up one night for dinner.  At the end of that night, she quietly invited me up to her room for coffee.  I didn’t want to presume anything and I have no idea of her intention at the time but something in me decided not to take her up on the offer.

I’ve not really been one for one-night stands and I definitely didn’t want to do that with someone I felt that if I had then that might just be all our relationship might have been.  I liked Billie, a lot, not because she was pretty but because we got on so well and had a lot of fun together.  A friendship was more fulfilling than the possibility of brief exciting encounter and that’s the way I wanted to keep it.

We met a couple more times when she flew to Sydney.  The final time with another of her crew, Kit, also a beautifully attractive girl.  By then I had already met Amy and it was with some pride that we all headed to Amy’s favourite nightclub after dinner, I got to walk up to the dance floor with three amazingly attractive women.

Of course, I didn’t want to embarrass myself by actually dancing so I left them to it.  Immediately they were swamped with guys wanting to dance with them, to which Billie and Amy crossed their arms in big X’s indicating for the guys to go away.  After 15 minutes of this though they became exasperated and we decided to leave.  On our way out a guy near the stairs grabbed Kit’s arm and yanked her towards him at which point I had to intervene and got to tell him that these three girls were all with me.  It made me chuckle to bruise the poor guy’s ego (and radically inflate my own, briefly) as we left the club.

A few more years of staying in touch and Billie told she had met someone from Australia, Adelaide, in fact.  I knew she met a million guys around the world and that she could pick anyone she wanted but this one she met in a bar in Hong Kong.  She said he was not handsome, a bit fat even but had a generous and family-oriented personality.  This was what she was looking for in her ideal partner more than a troublesome good looker.

Then a couple of years later they decided to relocate from Hong Kong to Sydney and ended up living a couple of blocks away from Amy and myself in Chatswood.  We got to hang out a bit more but also were leading busy lives.  A case of when living near the beach you never go for a swim.

Billie and Jade now had a baby on their hands and Billie could become the dragon mum she always dreamed of.  I caught up with her sister Mandy during this time too and she soon was married with a couple of kids of her own.

Anyways, Billie rushed to pick up from the station in her new 4WD, on the phone to her friend, as we rushed to pick up Nexis from school, now in Year One.  Nexis and I always get on like a house on fire, like I do with most kids, and we were soon making fun of her mum and I was getting her into trouble so we were both getting told off.

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Nexis and I played some more, with their water hose – more trouble – and with their French Bulldog Dunstan, short name Dunny.  Billie cooked up a nice veggie dinner for us all, Nexis went to bed and Jade overruled Billie to watch a movie instead of Billie’s favourite Aussie trash TV, Married at First Sight, thank heavens!

Next morning, Billie dropped me in Chatswood, with all my bags and we wished each other well, hoping they can come and visit Amy and me in Thailand sometime in the future.  I spent the morning running around getting coffees and trying to arrange to meet people but everyone was busy.  Never mind – I know you’ll always be there, somewhere.

A train to the city and more coffee as I met up with one of Amy’s best friends Jess as I was staying at her place right in the centre of the city.  We went out for a big seafood dinner to celebrate another friend’s, Grace, birthday, joined by Muoy and Hakan.  Amy had already prepped me to pay for the meal tonight as her gift to everyone and for Grace’s celebration.  Grace kindly reciprocated by offering to take me to the airport a couple of days later.

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Next day was a big run around and I’d been hitting my ten thousand steps easily for a few days now.  In the morning I met Jess at the cafe where she works and got my first free coffee.  We were heading to Chippendale to meet one of my friends who had opened her own cafe recently.  Jess is thinking to do the same in Adelaide sometime in the future so Amy thought it would be a good idea to introduce them and for Jess to get some tips.

On the way there I ducked into another small cafe another Chatswood friend was working at and was offered another free coffee, gladly accepted as always.

In Chippendale, we found my friend’s cafe, the Bean Brewers.  Jenny runs it with her husband and has managed to build up a good little business.  They spent a long time looking for this place and are working hard, seven days a week, to make it a success.  I met Jenny when she was just 16, ten years before, when she was working at my favourite cafe in Chatswood.  She had moved to Australia from Vietnam to study and wanted to stay.  Similar to my own story with Amy, a customer had taken a fancy to her and eventually they got married.

Once again, we all wished each other well and went on our way.  Jess went back home whilst I went to my next appointment, this time at UTS, to see Bronwyn, Hayden’s mum, my ex-wife, the partner of all the 1994 diary entries you can find here.  Twenty four years is a long time and things change and things stay the same.  Bronwyn told me of some photos she had found of our time back in the UK and when I saw them later it was odd to look at the person in the photo that was me.  I didn’t recognise them as me, though I knew it was obviously me.

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After lunch and during another coffee stop my 3pm appointment cancelled which I was actually a little grateful for as the temperature was soaring and I was starting to get sweaty.  I headed back to Jess’ for a quick shower and recovery before heading out again to meet Jochen, at a pub just down the street.

Jochen arrived with his friend, from a meeting that they had just attended.  Jochen works for the Goethe Institute and moved to Sydney with his wife, Sabina and kids, both of whom are a similar age to Hayden.  They actually moved back and forth a couple of times before finally settling on Australia as the place to stay.

I first met Jochen, about 15 years ago I’m guessing, through a band he was playing in with a mutual friend.  Although being from different countries within Europe, which becomes a little competitive, here we were suddenly comrades on foreign turf.  I’m over dramatising but in some ways bonds are made through mutual conditions such as these.

The other thing that drew us together though was our musical interests and our roles within our own DIY music scenes.  The connection was instant, an unspoken understanding of the way things had been, the way we were doing things now and the way we wanted to continue doing those things.  I value Jochen’s friendship above most others – one of those friendships where you may not see each other for a couple of years and you can sit down and continue the conversation as if only a day had passed.

And of course, this was pretty much the situation we were in, having not been in much contact for the previous six months since leaving Sydney.  I expected to be out for a couple of hours, perhaps drop by another friend working in a shop that night too.

Kicked off with interesting conversations with Jochen’s friend, a filmmaker, again about mutual musical interests, particularly the Dutch band The Ex (crazy thoughts arising about how to tour them through South East Asia and Australia), moving on to discussions about working with Japanese musicians for live film scores.

After he left we decided on another beer, and another, conversation free flowing, about our lives, our kids, our futures, about continuing to work together in one way or another and just about generally staying connected.  Something that is so much easier to do now than it was in 1994.

All these thoughts could lead to longer stories that I will have to leave for now.  But that night, my last in Sydney, the beers continued along with the stories and topics and we eventually stumbled out around 1.30am, I think, and on our respective ways.

In a blink, I was asleep and awake again, still drunk and almost voiceless as Grace whisked me to the airport and I jumped on the plane, last time for a while in Australia, hoping for more sleep, which didn’t come.  But I was too drunk to care, too drunk to think.  The perfect exit.