Tag: walking

Aching Bone – 15th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everyone has got an aching bone
Something imperfect inside
The picture may be pretty
But there’s always something to hide

Flat feet, terrible teeth
The flaws remain concealed
There’s lipstick on the cover
In the morning the truth revealed

Bad breath and wrinkled eyes
The Botox is wearing off
The aching bone is constantly nagging
Unable to look pretty and cough

As I was waiting somewhere, my left foot aching from fallen arches, a pretty girl walked by, drawing my eyes. Perfect on the outside, what is her fallen arch? Her hidden aching bone?

Today I’m feeling:

(1.40 am) still awake with a headache.

(3pm) When I finally got to sleep it was deep and with no real morning planned for, I slept until 11am and headed off to coffee and Tom’s new shop on the bus. Even then I didn’t quite wake up until I started browsing the books in the shop, of which he had curated a good selection and I picked up about five. It was good to see Tom too, he looks like he’s doing well these days. 

I walked over to Newtown which was really nice to do, past old buildings and streets I used to drive through.

I got to Moshpit and met Bob and Julian and the band turned up and I caught up with everyone again. Nicely nostalgic and not too weird, even though it’s a Sunday afternoon and I have other places to go to soon.

Today I’m grateful for:

Tom and 19th Nervous Breakdown for buying me coffee, giving me CDs and only charging me 20 bucks for 5 books and a CD. Good man!

Also to Julian for covering the cost of my ticket to the show today. Good man! 

The best thing about today was:

Catching up with Shouwang and Carsick Cars again and talking about the good old days, I suppose. It seems like in Beijing these aren’t the good old days anymore.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Apart from my sleep there was nothing much that couldn’t be easily handled. I didn’t even eat until 7 pm except a Snicker Bars which took off another piece of tooth after losing a bit last night whilst eating bread rolls. I guess that was out of my control but thankfully the filling is still intact so there’s no pain at the moment.

Something I learned today?

Thanks to Dave I learned too much about chickens and limestone. I’m somewhat jealous of people like Bronwyn and Dave who are just able to keep talking even if it’s not that interesting or relevant. I noticed Dave checking himself occasionally before he started wandering off into conspiracy land though he did end up getting into something but I can’t even remember what it was now because it was just so dumb.

Who do I need to spend time with?

I need to spend more time with Amy and to settle back into a comfortable routine that will work for me again. I know there will not be enough time to do all the things I’ve been used to and Amy will have me busy doing things.

I took this picture because it’s been a good while since I got my ears blasted at a show.

Signals – 11th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I didn’t ask to be me
Yet here I am
Not excited or proud to be
But that’s what I am
Why can’t I be you
There you are
I like your point of view
And what you are
Together is community
Made from many mes
All signals of society
The mes, the yous, the wes

inspired by the first paragraph of the introduction to Wallace Shawn’s Essays

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up feeling pretty great as the sun was coming up. Unfortunately, it was just the street lights from outside, I’d only slept for three hours and it was 1.30 in the morning. 

I eventually got back to sleep and Amy woke me up again at around 10.30. I still wanted to sleep more but forced myself up.

Amy is showing me around the area now, like the tourist I’m actually feeling. I’d forgotten how big Australians are. Loud too!

A successful shopping expedition has me dressed for dinner tonight and the wedding on Saturday. I feel fucked though and will perhaps sleep a little despite three shots of Campos.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding new shirts and pants at reasonable prices (for Australia) at Birkenhead Point. It’s nice to be in a place where there is lots of choice for me. In Thailand, it is difficult to find nice clothes in my size. Anything that really attracts me is usually made for skinny Thai boys.

The best thing about today was:

Doing 10000 steps without realising. In the evening after cocktails and tapas, we walked from Barangaroo to Haymarket then back through Chinatown and up George Street to catch the bus back. It was cold in the wind but perfect out of it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today was about going with the flow which meant letting go of control. Amy continued as my tour guide through new areas of the city and I enjoyed it very much.

One thing I noted was that just outside Paddy’s Market a family car had stopped in the middle of the road and a big old Ute couldn’t get past and the guy inside kept leaning on his horn. That doesn’t happen in country town Thailand. No one will toot their horn, they’ll just wait or even get out for a sticky beak to see what the situation is. I can imagine in Bangkok it’s a little different but that’s what I’m used to in sleepy Chiang Rai.

Something I learned today?

As Amy and I were walking up to the bus stop I could see that I have changed. I now walk much slower than her, now moving at the speed of a Tropic dweller, just as I remember having to slow down when visiting my friends in Malaysia.

The peculiarities of Australians feel mildly annoying but I know that that is my fault, not theirs. It is something that makes me feel like I’m a tourist again.

What am I nervous or anxious about?

I’m anxious about Amy’s return to Thailand and how she will deal with things. Anxious about next April and the air pollution and the possibility of being able to escape it for a while.

That’s about it really.

I took this picture because that’s not a bad view from the bar we’re drinking at.

Done – 21st March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In the time it took to read this line
A million things could’ve been done
I’m feeling fine, searching for the perfect rhyme
Though perhaps this isn’t the one

Did you do the things you always wanted to?
Or just work away the days
I guess it’s true we never think things through
And time is the crime that never pays

Today I’m feeling:

Good but a little tired due to sleeping late. Walked to Utopia as a counter to having an afternoon nap, coming to try their new Affagato which has got my heart racing. Contemplating what to do if I go home or to walk on to Daytripper but then what to do there…

Today I’m grateful for:

My crappy old earphones that allowed me to listen to a podcast as I walked around in the heat. Am I the old man that prefers to listen to people talking about music rather than listening to music?

The best thing about today was:

In the afternoon, after walking back home and having a shower I felt inspired to read and got hungry so ate my salad before calling Amy at cat feeding time.

Still with some energy, I did a bit of watering as dusk settled in.

As I went to close the gate I was still not satisfied and decided to pull up the vines that grow behind our driveway’s tall grass. Pulling them out is a great feeling and I didn’t really notice the humidity, the grass cuts on my fingers and my itchy skin until Tangmo came along and distracted me and we played with his rope which he happily brought back each time I threw it.

In total darkness now I got back inside and had my third shower for the day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

A message came through for teachers to spend the next week or so crammed in the big hall doing lesson plans. I reckon we’ll be able to drift out pretty quickly but still, it’s not a thrilling prospect, especially as I’m already doing lots of work around my lessons.

Oh well, I have a plan to do the flashcard glueing whilst I’m there rather than do it at home. That’s a good use of the time for me at least. I’ll get my head around everything else and it will be ok.

Something I learned today?

A study produced by Ipsos in Paris found that the Chinese are overwhelmingly the happiest people of the 32 countries questioned. Of course, it’s just one study and people are quick to bring up other studies as counterarguments but there seem to be more and more of these kinds of positive happiness studies of China appearing.

What is the most beautiful place I’ve ever visited?

I’ve seen some beautiful places in Australia, China, Japan, Thailand, Malaysia and pretty much most places I’ve been.

But sometimes there are simple places that stand out not just because of their beauty, which may be seen at any time of year or over the years and decades; places that brought a euphoria with them that might never be repeated, the smells and sounds nostalgic indicators, the people those moments may have been shared with.

Riding a pushbike through Branksome Chine, a hidden pond in the English countryside discovered one summer evening, the rocks off the path in the bush down to Middle Harbour discovered during a lunch break with TLJ, in an artists warehouse anticipating bands to perform.

I took this picture because I’d noticed these flowers on the weekend as I rode home. As I was walking today I had time to stop and grab this shot.

百年羞耻 – 8th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The body was weak with a cancer at the heart
Viruses found a way in to rip it all apart
Poison took hold and began to stake a claim
So began the one hundred years of shame

Infection spread to disable all the limbs
Antibodies form and internal war begins
Now a puppet left to play in a rotten game
Raped and tortured by a hundred years of shame

Slowly, slowly the body returns to balance
Both yin and yang improve upon their talents
Heads held higher to rise above the strain
The beginning of the end of a hundred years of shame

Now the muscles flex, the body’s lesson learned
At unity with the brain, power has returned
No matter the want, things are not the same
Since the end of a hundred years of shame

Today I’m feeling:

Content and energised. A long walk in the jungle and a dip in the freezing water under the waterfall really got my blood flowing.

Today I’m grateful for:

Aing and Now paying for my lunch which we had at the restaurant in the stream. All the food was delicious. Spicy seafood salad, Tom Yum soup, veggie fried rice, deep-fried fish and squid.

The best thing about today was:

Getting under the waterfall and having the air sucked out of my lungs. It was freezing and invigorating and I felt cosy once I got my shorts and t-shirt on again. I should sleep well tonight.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Last night I found Kim had a scratch on her head and was limping again, presumably from fighting, so I decided to keep her in again. I really want her to enjoy the freedom to be outside but she just can’t stay out of trouble. I’ll start putting her back in her room at night again from tomorrow.

Right now she’s in our walk-in where she’s content to recover as best she can. She still seems happy enough and is eating fine. Hopefully, she gets better soon.

Something I learned today?

There was an earthquake in Turkey and Syria a couple of days ago and China has already got people on the ground there helping. In comparison, the USA has sanctions in place for Syria which hampers Western allies’ possible efforts to help.

Syria is already crippled by civil war and US military involvement as well, removing their oil to be kept in a safe place ie. the USA!

I’m coming to respect China more and more every day. I just hope they can avoid getting dragged down by the bullying tactics of the West.

What is a word you feel that too many people use?

Taking this question literally, the word is probably ‘Mine.’

I took this picture because this was the destination for today. Khun Korn waterfall. Aing and Now said they wanted to come here as they never did during the time they were studying in Chiang Rai. They’d been busy until today so today it had to be. Just by chance, at school this morning, I met Kru Mai and Kru Karn waiting to be picked up and I guessed they were going camping with scouts. I asked them where the campsite was and it was also at Khun Korn! So I made sure to go and surprise my old students whilst visiting. They all told me that they weren’t having fun but it looked like they were really!

Walk It – 24th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Go for a walk, clear out the cobwebs
Dust off those shoes, double up on socks
Blow away at the clouds of fog
Surrounding this bridge of your mental blocks

Take in the scene, breathe deep the air
Fill in those lungs with deep gulps of joy
Think about nothing, dream bigger dreams
Walk it all out, oh boy oh boy!

24th Mar 2023 – I seem to remember enjoying going for walks with Bruno, getting all dusty yet invigorated. These polluted days are not the best though. Come on rainy season! Getting Covid in July really set me back with walking and exercise though.

We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of ignorance.

John Archibald Wheeler

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my old tired body, still growing and learning new things.

The Week That Was – 13th May 1979

Milan Said – 29th December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

No one possesses the truth
But everyone has the right to be understood
We wander our imaginary paradise
Where our belief is in everything good

Love and life sometimes prove
That our truths are often out of time
Things are not as simple as they seem
And I’ve read this many a time

Mangled from a Milan Kundera quote

The people with the most potential are the ones who know they have a lot to learn.

Adam Grant

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for taking the time yesterday to do 15,000 steps yesterday. My hips and legs, ankles and feet are feeling it this morning!

I feel an urge to go buy some cheap diaries. Austin Kleon, inspiring yet again, writes a quote he enjoys each day into one of his diaries. I guess I’ve been doing something similar already, with writing a poem each day and often directly quoting things I read. Still, I have the urge to buy more cool things to write on! A trip to B2S tomorrow!

Leaving school yesterday, there was an accident on the bridge over the river, which, of course, messed everything up, traffic-wise. I got to enjoy listening to the No Means No Thing podcast for a bit longer so that was a bonus. I got to Bruno’s late and we shot off to the same walking track as last week and walked around until the sun set and the blur lights of Bangkok Hospital shone out in the distance, below the hills.

I can tell Bruno is thinking about things quite deeply as he comes up with quite philosophical questions, connected with our places and our time in life. An enjoyable exercise to press mind and body (him with a fractured foot no less!) and breathe deep the cleaner air around the quiet areas of woods, fields and water. Even saw a squirrel – my first in Thailand!

I ended up walking 15,000 steps and today my feet, hips and calves are feeling it. I thought I would sleep well after that walk but I got back to thinking about new cool things to do with the students until I remembered one of the articles I read about putting noisy thoughts on a TV in another room and just letting them chatter away in there instead. It ended up working though I woke up again before my alarm clock and spent a while tossing and turning, hoping to get back into a deep sleep again. I briefly contemplated not getting up with my alarm but pushed through and as soon as I stood in the bathroom, despite the aching body, I felt pretty great.

Oh – Bruno said to me something that surprised me. He said he thought I was a good listener. I don’t really consider myself to be but I think he meant more in the context that I try not to judge and try to consider what people say and don’t just jump in and say something is right or wrong. I hope I do that, so it was nice to hear that from someone. I have tried to make an effort to speak less and listen more when possible.

What do you like about being your age?

I sure like the wisdom that comes with age. My definition of wisdom, of course. With experience comes learning. It’s kinda weird to consider that as a teenager, people thought that I was mature but I think that mostly manifested on the outside. The inside was a troubled little boy searching for a happiness that didn’t seem to exist, jealous of those immature on the outside yet happy inside.

I chose not to fit in because it bored me. I made life difficult for myself but now that those difficulties have passed, I have learned so much about myself.

I don’t usually think about my age when I think about myself. I guess when you discover someone’s age, you can find a convenient box that you can expect them to be in. I guess many people feel the same about themselves – that their age doesn’t put them in any box.

It seems to me, though, that I don’t act as if I’m 54 years old, as people think I am much younger. Just like other people I know who are younger than me appear to act much older. I put that down to the expected norms of age to close-mindedness, perhaps contentment and an attitude of not having anything else to learn. My mind is still open.

Although I seemingly have strong opinions, I am not so confident in them that they can’t be changed and that it’s ok if they do change after new experiences. I think I don’t like or dislike my age. It’s out of my control.

The Week That Was – 25th March 1979

In The RV – 21st December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The power’s gone out
And there’s snow on the roof
So begins the test
If you are living in truth
There’s no heat now
Time for another sweater
“The sacrifices are severe
But the rewards are even better”

Inspired and quoted by interviews with Christmas tree sellers in New York at the Cafe Anne newsletter
11th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – sweater

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see the almost full moon on one side of the sky this morning, followed by a red sun rising over the mountains on the other side of the sky.

I didn’t sleep well on the 19th (Fui told me there was an earthquake and that may have woken me up.) and skipped school, not that I would’ve had much to do anyway with kids at home. Still, a couple of them sent me their work, which made me happy.

I spent most of the day reading comics in bed, which was excellent!

In the afternoon, I dropped over to Bruno’s and we went off for a good walk that took me over 10,000 steps for the day and I felt pretty good after that. I unloaded a lot of complaining on Bruno. He knows and understands the kind of things I’m going through with school. He listened sympathetically whilst we took a trip around the hilltop village near where Laetitia used to live.

I would like to do more walking, especially in these cooler days but my dodgy feet are holding me back. I should go and get them checked out at the hospital – see if the insurance gives me any cover for that.

25th Sep 2025 – I still haven’t done this!

I was pretty down at the weekend. Post alcohol malaise, I think, and I’m a little worried about when Amy is not here. She helps keep me steady and motivated at times like these.

I’m sitting in House at the moment and feeling a little anxiety as there are many things I want to do and I feel like I’m rushing things. Not teaching the kids online (and just assigning work to complete) has definitely made me busier as I spend more time following up on them. Oh well, I feel like I’m doing the right thing. Time to make calls for my next class.

*Long walk – 1st January 1999

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Email to TLJ:

I went for a walk yesterday after work – down in the National Park – you remember where we went past Whale Rock – well I jogged to about as far as we went – ‘member we went up to that lookout – and then kept going and going until there’s a cycle track that goes up to the end of Vimiera Road – I cut off the track there and went into the bush following some animal tracks and back up from the creek – I ended up at the back of some houses and had to fight pretty hard through some thick bush for a while – woulda looked pretty crazy – I got cut up on the arm a bit too – and I’m dead knackered after that too – at least it was a little easier to get to sleep last night – but still damned hot and sticky.

I’m still thinking of you a lot and that keeps me awake too. I wonder what will happen to us when you return and I go through all the bad things that could happen – by bad I mean like we split up or something – I don’t know why I have these doubts. I wonder if you would prefer to be without me – if life would be easier for you that way. I don’t know how I would go if we split – it would be very sad for me. I know I would want to be friends with you but know that would be hard initially too. Anyway, you see, why am I thinking these things….why am I in doubt? I think because I need to hear some reassurance from you – it’s been hard to not be able to talk to you every day like we normally do.

Christmas has been a non-event for me too. I was looking forward to having some time to myself while you were away but now I know that I need people to keep me occupied (that sounds pretty bad put like that!) to divert my attention from my introverted self. I used to be very extroverted you know – what happened? I don’t know. It’s weird. where did all this self-doubt come from?

Babe, this has just been another get it off my chest session – trying to figure things out. Still haven’t got anywhere! Anyway, I hope that when you are reading this that you are close enough to me to come and give me a supportive hug and kiss and say something like “I understand’ – even if you don’t!!
Have you seen Jackie Chan yet?