Tag: war

No Sacrifices – 21st April 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Hey boys, the war is over
Even though it wasn’t won
There will be no spoils to share
But it definitely is done

No more letters to the front
Or eating rations in the mud
All the winners are losers
With the spilling of their blood

The rules of engagement
And decisions to be made
Must be around a table
And no sacrifices paid

Today I’m feeling:

I’m ok today but not that excited. It’s nice to have reasonably breathable air again even though the smoke is filling in the gaps again after being blown around yesterday.

Today I’m grateful for:

Candles and tea lights (see below). Also, Febreeze (again) as Tigger decided to spray the sofa where Cap sits which is right next to where I sit.

The best thing about today was:

I watched a movie today and also listened to some music. I wasn’t overly impressed with either but it’s a sign of a slow return to normality. I also received an email from Sharon which I wasn’t so surprised about as I had already been thinking about my mum when I remembered it was her birthday yesterday and that was also the reason for her email. I still haven’t replied to her one from Christmas so I’ll get on that this week. Hopefully, I’ll get back to the UK to see Sharon and family again one day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another fairly violent storm rolled through between six and seven pm knocking out power to the whole village, maybe even further. The breeze block holding down the roof failed and I managed to get another up so had two now holding it down. It sounded like they failed too but I couldn’t tell yet as it was now totally dark. I found a few candles and there’s a nice breeze blowing through the now-open windows. It’s been four hours now and I’ve been reading on my iPad and contemplating trying to sleep. However, the rain has stopped and the temperature is likely to rise to unbearable even during the early hours. Hopefully, someone is out there trying to untangle wires.

Something I learned today?

Looks like this power outage is extensive as even my phone has no service. I write this because I usually look back at what YouTube videos I’ve watched to see if I might’ve learned anything. Now I’m going to have to test my short-term memory.

As I’m laying here thinking I realise that I am learning the sound of the night. No buzzing transformers, the hum of machines on stand-by, pumps pushing water and no doof doof from garaged PAs or the nightclub. It’s Friday night and an occasional frog and cricket is having a brief discussion. Otherwise, all I can hear now is the loud ringing in my ears.

What am I most proud of myself for accomplishing this week?

I’ve managed to keep Amy’s indoor plants alive (just about), my remaining two cats alive and myself alive. That’s an accomplishment. I just continue with what I’m doing. Things will never be completed, they will just stop when I drop dead. Accomplishments? Little things get crossed off little mental lists and when that final day comes will I have accomplished anything? ‘Here lies Shaun, finally accomplished nirvana.’

But I do carry a little pride in what I do.

I took this picture because it shows our roof trying to take off and drenching our cactuses in our entertainment area during the storm yesterday. Another is forecast today but there’s no sign of it so far.

New Wombs – 17th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We’ll birth our babies from sacs
So our mothers feel no pain
Patting ourselves on our backs
With this technological gain

A matrix of unborn babies
Hanging up in store
We take away one suffering
Perhaps replaced by more

A matrix of millions
Spat from artificial wombs
Why not exploit them further
In this society that consumes

Mothers now free of pain
Have more time for shopping
Acceptance is hard to explain
When there’s no sign of stopping

Today I’m feeling:

A tinge of sadness but in general pretty happy. I was sad when I got to school and walked around but found no students. An empty school reminds me that at other times these are just useless buildings.

I miss my students already though I know I will be over it soon enough, maybe even already!

Today I’m grateful for:

The staff who fixed my iMac and called me at 11 am, just as I was about to head home. It was ready to pick up. Great timing.

I’m happy to have a working machine again and looking forward to getting it back into the shape that works for me.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a quick haircut was pretty satisfying as it’s getting too hot to have a thick head of thinning hair.

Sitting at Daytripper and putting together another lesson was fun too.

Also, whilst there, watching the highlights of the first game of the AFL season on my laptop and watching students come and go.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I struggled to find all the software I needed to reinstall on my refurbished iMac. I’ll probably have to fiddle around a fair bit more before it’s really back in the shape I want. But that’s all right, this kind of annoying challenge suits me.

Something I learned today?

I watched a little Al Jazeera segment on the state of Iraq since the Western allies’ illegal war there. It seems that the little hope Iraqis had at the removal of Saddam Hussein was very short-lived and one has to wonder how much is the fault of the allies and how much the Iraqis themselves.

Money, power and religion make for a terrible mix when it comes to governance.

What is something in my life that I feel “lucky” to have?

Trying to think how to answer this. In one way I feel lucky for everything I have. In another, I feel like it wasn’t luck at all. So I’m trying to think of something that was just luck.

So after five minutes, I’ve decided all the things I have were not due to luck. Except for one thing.

I’m reminded by my student who told me her story of her parent’s rejection and asking ‘if they didn’t want me then why did they have me?’ We didn’t ask to be born, yet here we are.

So the one thing in my life that I feel lucky to have is life itself.

I took this picture because I’m at the hairdresser again. To get a haircut, not to just take a picture of their cat.

Back Asswards – 23rd February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Now we are the Nazis
We are ISIS, the terrorists
We accepted hatred
For our motivational bomb-schools
Where lessons learned
Were in books burned
As we mistook our enemies
To be the ones fooled

Now we commit genocide
From romantic shelter
Far away from freedom
Forcing refugees at our borders
No ifs, just rifle butts
Force of power, force power cuts
And bodies pile up
Of those who were simply following orders

1st Apr 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – Fools
1st Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and tired

Today I’m grateful for:

The stash of Pocky that Amy left here because she couldn’t fit it in her luggage when going back to Australia. Now I can use them as birthday gifts for my students!

The best thing about today was:

I want to say my students but they were probably also the worst thing about today too! They make me laugh and they make me cry.

Goya and Pat gave me friendship bracelets (just pieces of string).

Fah and Boty play jokes on me and Bright always enjoys having jokes played on him.

And of course, they all try to get away with murder when they think I’m not looking.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The usual group of 1/7 students were late to my class again and I marked them as ‘absent’. I could tell 4 of them were debating whether to just skip class then but decided to stay though they weren’t very happy.

They soon cheered themselves up together though and were very happy when I rewarded them by changing their status to ‘late’ instead of ‘absent’.

They come up with all sorts of bullshit excuses for being late but realise they don’t fly when all the other students are always on time.

The work is so easy too but they don’t put it together that if they just cracked on with it they could finish the class that much sooner. They’ll figure themselves out at some point.

Something I learned today?

I learned that from 1971 until 1989 US-China relations were fairly cooperative except that for the US it was a case of an enemy of my enemy is a friend and the relationship changed again once the Soviet Union fell. It makes me wonder why we have to have enemies?

How can I be more mindful and present in the moment?

I think I need to calm my thoughts a lot more again. My brain is a little overactive recently and I need to stop looking at things like Twitter and YouTube as much as I do. It’s too easy to get wound up by the stupidities of the world when in actuality things are quite sedate around my own life.

I took this picture because our jacarandas are blooming and in the misty sunrise the purple looks luscious.

New Maps – 22nd February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I have the sky, you make the borders
I have a foot on the ground to stand
Watching those with their marching orders

I saw the trains roll by a-rattling
And engineers mapping new land
Over which young men were battling

As history changed it still stayed the same
New lines were drawn as planned
To remind us all of a deeper shame

Where you sit now is where you’re at
It was never special or even grand
But tall tales told will make it that

15th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – map

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and mellow

Today I’m grateful for:

Baking soda which seems to have reduced the smell of cat pee in my mattress considerably. I may need another 10 kilos to completely fix it but hopefully, the mattress will start smelling of me and my sweat again soon.

The best thing about today was:

Was talking with a lady I often see at House who usually says hello in English but we never talked beyond that. I could tell she was quite chatty by the way she talks with Gui and today we started talking as we waited for Gui to get out of the shower (as we were technically there before he was open). Her name is Poy and she has pretty good English skills.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My students blatantly copying work and just laughing when I point it out to them. What can I do? I just laughed with them too.

Something I learned today?

The New York Times ran an anti-China piece about how a top Chinese banker has been detained by police in China, trying to show that bad things happen there.

However, people from all around the world commented that it’s good to see a country not afraid to detain high-level officials especially if they actually have done something wrong because that rarely happens in so-called free societies as are believed to be in ‘the West’.

How have I experienced wonder or awe lately?

My life and feeling these days is quite steady and stable without the highs and lows that come with awe or negative thoughts. I was quite in awe as I did my bike ride last month as I found myself exploring new hills and valleys secreted away aroundabouts. A little bit of that was enhanced by a hit of acid but still, I was feeling awe and wonder.

I took this picture because the colour of the numerous flowers on this tree forced me to pull over as I was driving by. This is an acceptable drive-by shooting.

She’s An Egg – 31st December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

She’s an egg, putting on a face
A tough nut, that’s a fact
She needs some love and kindness
Or she’s bound to end up cracked

She’s an egg amongst many others
One mistake may lead to ruin
When the shell starts to break open
She may be her own undoing

She’s an egg, hidden away inside
Soft and so easy to rot
Let some air in to breathe
Before she gets herself forgot

A nation of lazy contemplative men would be incapable of fighting a war unless their very laziness were attacked. Wars are the activities of busy-ness.

John Steinbeck

Today I’m feeling:
Gurgling guts, sore tummy and tired from lack of sleep, though it’s not getting me down. Just write off the day catching up with videos I’ve wanted to watch.
Today I’m grateful for:
The carbon pills and electrolyte powder to help settle my stomach. These are a standard in every Thai household first aid kit. Bad guts and diarrhoea are pretty common here.
The best thing about today was:
Buying new socks. Some days it’s the simple things.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My ass was out of control today and I handled it by being lazy and lethargic and being close to the toilet in case of an emergency. Shit happens.
Something I learned today?
Thailand imports trash especially since China banned importation in 2017 but since it has such difficulty dealing with it will slowly phase out bringing in more by 2025. That’s the plan but I can foresee things getting in the way of that target.
What’s your New Year’s Resolution or goal?
I haven’t done new year’s resolutions for many years, discovering how difficult they are to maintain. Why choose this date? If you’ve failed with them by the end of January maybe you feel bad for the rest of the year or just wait til the next new year to start again. I’ve had more success with just starting things at times that felt right or were appropriate. I also never beat myself up if these things get derailed and just do my best to get back on track.

I took this picture because this is some awesome Lardna at a restaurant Amy took me to for lunch. I have a dodgy stomach today so couldn’t coat it with all the condiments I would’ve liked but it still tasted great. I don’t usually take food pictures and this is a relatively normal picture but it was either this or another cat photo!

I asked AI to take the Lardna image and make it into a manga image – hence the featured (yet unrelated otherwise!) manga picture.

Next Enemy – 22nd July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Is manufacturing an enemy
The right way to finding peace?
Other powers must be countered
As their influences increase
Not content to share the riches
Unprepared to let release
There’s always money in warfare
So the war must never cease

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the beautiful light purple flowers on our climbing plant.

Just looking back at an entry a year ago on 21st July 2020, I note I was not writing as much as before and I can see from this (physical book that I’m writing in) book that I have not been so diligent in the last 12 months. But I’m ok with that.

I still do lots of writing and have changed the focus of entries in this journal a little. I also feel that writing here was a lot more necessary last year than today. I’m feeling more stable in general and ok with everything. I do have to remember though that if I fall down at some point, that the journaling habit is most useful in those times.

I also noted back in that entry from a year ago that I talked about converting all my old DVDs. That task is still ongoing, though almost complete, at least for all the old movies I downloaded and burned to disc. I still have 100s more store-bought DVDs.

Again, I will never have enough time to watch them but I do enjoy the fact that I can and that I can share them for others too. Much like the books on my shelves waiting to be read. I won’t let them be a burden for me. It’s not a task I must try to complete. Collecting, cataloguing, it’s just part of who I am.