Tag: weed

The Door – 10th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Is the door ajar?
Is Debbie looking in?
Her eyes drew me closer
Mine, all set to spin

Held me tight in embrace
Touched by your presence dear
Kissed me under the swamp tree
Woke up, sudden and clear

The door was not ajar

Submitted to dVerse prompts – jar and dreams and inspired by a dream I had after watching Blondie’s ‘Touched By Your Presence Dear’ on TV, where I swore that she was looking and talking to me, so powerful was the dream that the next day I went to the tree in the swampy woods and waited for her to appear again. Predictably, she did not.

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and dizzy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to watch the Swans just get over the line against Collingwood this morning. I gave up on them but they somehow pulled it off.

The best thing about today was:

Putting together the sleeves and vinyl for the High Voltage/SpeechOdd split and figuring out how to get rid of as many of these things as possible!

It gave me a little more motivation, though my energy soon ran out again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I came back from my room at about 4 pm and started watching videos and thought it would be a good idea to eat the last weed gummy in the fridge. A couple of hours later and my head was spinning badly and I felt nauseous. I went to pee but soon had to stop as I needed to throw up and out came the chewed-up gummy and a couple of Amy’s delicious cookies.

Thankfully, I felt much better after that but couldn’t do anything except watch another four hours of The Boys, finishing off Season 2.

I ended up forgetting to write here and catching up on Sunday morning.

Something I learned today?

I think that’s it for weed for me. I’m too old for that shit now!

In Her Sleep – 8th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments
Image credit; Marianna Smiley @ Unsplash “Thrive” by Danial Pooper a sculpture in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Under her ribs
(She spread them open
Pulled apart with the strength
Only a goddess can claim)

Under her ribs
Exposed for all to see
Grows the green heart
Life given, life giver

Her perfection cracked
Time-worn and serene
Her beauty unaffected
Welcome to her world

Welcome to thrive
Life sprouted on edges
Breathing in the goodness
Breathing out goodness
In her sleep

Shared with WDYS #237
16th Aug 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – cracked

Today I’m feeling:

Good again.  Pretty peppy with an underlying exhaustion just from adjustment to this routine again.  

Mai, Dave and Yaya, along with Mai’s parents, arrive in Chiang Rai this morning and Amy will be busy with them for the next four days and I’ll be joining them after work this afternoon.

Today I’m grateful for:

Our step ladder so that I can try and organise our vine plant to grow over our entertainment area and perhaps stop a little of the rain in the future, though will undoubtedly block the gutters with dead leaves too.

The best thing about today was:

Getting on top of everything in preparation for being back in the classroom.  I think I have a fairly clear idea for each class now and can adapt as I go.  It was a good feeling to be back in the game so to speak.

I had felt pretty on the ball at the start of the holiday but then slacked off a lot for the last three weeks.  I put up a self imposed barrier in my mind though thankfully found it easy to overcome.  Though I’m damned tired right now!  Tired but feeling great and positive.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I felt increasingly positive and happy as the day has gone on and nothing could stand in my way or bother me.

Something I learned today?

Mai’s husband Dave was so excited when he got to Thailand that he overindulged in smoking too much weed last night and had to spend the day sleeping today, so I haven’t actually seen him yet.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I drove Amy and I back into the city at 5 pm and the traffic is getting busy again after the holidays.  I picked up Mai and her family and took us to the restaurant for a really nice meal with Amy’s mum and dad joining too.

I took this picture because this is another Yaya that I know.

Make Me Laugh Johnny – 17th January 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pissing time away, money ain’t gonna save us
Betting on a 7-2 combo down in Vegas
A couple of lines will cut the time in half
Make me laugh Johnny, make me laugh

Stroking beards ain’t the thing to be doing
When the dancing girls are being flew in
Shiny lights ain’t enough in this big city
Make me laugh Johnny, I’m feeling shitty

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and lazy

Today I’m grateful for:

The free weed that Matt gave me. I don’t know when I’m likely to use it though as I don’t like smoking it and don’t often use it in tea. I also already have gummies which keep me happy enough and is easy to measure the dose.

The best thing about today was:

Waking up before my alarm with Kim Chi investigating a good spot to lie on me. She likes my hip but is disturbed every time I turn over. After I got up she quickly transferred herself under the doona on Amy’s bed and I had to get her out just so that she would eat. After eating she went straight back and was still there when I got home around 3 pm. She loves sleeping.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My classes were both pretty much out of control for the most part but I went with the flow and it really just meant taking longer to get things done. The kids are just excited at the moment with sports week coming up but I doubt if they will be settled after that either.

Something I learned today?

Thanks to Matt I learned where to buy kratom leaves and Nam Kratom. The bonus is that there are two beautiful lively friendly dogs there too.

I took this picture because yesterday Tamgmo played in the garden with his friend. No new pictures today.

I’ve been keeping my app updated more than writing here (on paper) and I thought this was the last journal book I have here so have been winding down. However, I found another book on the shelf so I’ll get back into this again.

I went to see Matt at lunchtime and he gave me a bunch of homegrown wee and sold me a couple more vials of acid. He may also have a lead on some more in Chiang Mai in a couple of weeks. We are the quiet fiends not bothering anybody!! Haha! He also clued me into a Kratom seller selling leaves and bottles of tea in Wiang Chai so I picked up a bottle on the way home.

We met at the cafe near Happy City golf course and were kinda surprised at all the Koreans in the cafe, coming from or going to the golf course. Somehow they looked very Korean, all wearing special skin patches on their cheekbones presumably to stop the sun from burning their skin and also reduce the glare in their eyes. They all looked perfect. It was strange to see them in this dishevelled old wooden shack of a cafe.

Classes today were rowdy but fun. It’s difficult to take things seriously at the moment as there are so many days off in the coming weeks and before you know it’ll be the end of the semester again.

Amy and I are missing each other. She’s been back in Oz for about 10 days now and we’re both still readjusting. Even this will be quick as a flash though and she’ll be back again just after her birthday.

Aing and Now will come again in a couple of weeks. I guess they have other friends around here graduating.

I’m trying to get back into a decent routine again but finding it hard. I’ve got my energy back. I think the longer-term effects of Covid have gone (as far as I can tell) so I’m trying to do a little more exercise in the morning.

I want to read more but find myself resorting to YouTube and just watching comedy. I guess I need to laugh.

To The Wolves – 9th December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The wolves are gathering
Circling their prey
Armed with razor claws
Wet teeth on display
Surrounded by enemies
Fallen down ill
Fears turned to acceptance
Of the coming kill
Hot breath drinks blood
Flesh torn and ripped
Life flows away
Once so tightly gripped
Now the hunger sated
Left in the soft snow
The body reconciles
The way we all go

The future of the human race will likely depend on our ability to transcend this tribalism and to see our fate as interconnected with everyone else’s.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
The confusion caused with communication in our school as there was a meeting in the afternoon that meant we didn’t have classes. It was not clear if we were supposed to attend this meeting, along with all the students and there was enough confusing information that it meant I could sneak away, come home and have a nice afternoon nap! I can see my attitude to miscommunication is positive when the outcome works in my favour like this and luckily in this part of the school everything generally works out like this. This was not the case in our other schools.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to the Pitchblende album at high volume after Amy went out for the night and I ate a weed gummy. I always liked Pitchblende and their music is not easy to latch on to. Last night took it to the next level. If I hadn’t been getting sleepy I would’ve listened to the whole album again. As it was I hopped into bed and fell asleep listening to the jazzcore podcast which was also terrific.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As I was driving dad’s van back from our Mae Chan dinner, all the u-turns were closed off by police, which happens when a member of the royal family comes to visit Doi Tung and they want the motorcade to be able to smoothly pass on through. This meant we couldn’t make our exit for the last 200 metres home and we were instructed to pull over to the left and turn our lights off and wait for it to pass. Amy was a little frustrated and said “fucking stupid” and her dad was annoyed at where I pulled over and wanted to move 5 metres forward but everyone told him it doesn’t matter though by this time he’d jumped out of the car indicating he was going to drive now. He got back in the passenger seat and I was just bemused by everything. Amy’s dad has some weird reactions sometimes and I don’t get it at all. I can’t see any connection between the way Thai kids react and the way he does. It’s like an alien mindset to me that I just can’t understand. It seems to be cultural but most reactions I can see some sense in but sometimes his are just bizarre. I’m curious about how his thinking works! Anyway, I agree with Amy that it’s fucking stupid to inconvenience so many people like this (hundreds and hundreds of police have to stand around for up to six hours preparing for this)but there doesn’t need to be a reaction to it. In the end, we only had to wait a few minutes and I calmly sat and waited until we could go again and we were home without too much delay.
Something I learned today?
I’m writing this on Saturday morning and recalling events of yesterday and I know there are many small things I learned in passing, by reading, talking and interacting but nothing is stepping forward to announce itself right now. It’s one of those days of learning whilst not knowing you’re learning. Accumulating knowledge, stored in the brain bank and used subconsciously. Today I will try to be more conscious.
In what ways are you good at your job?
I’m good at my job in that I can make the students feel like they are having fun whilst learning a little. I come up with ideas for classes and I try to gauge my student’s feelings and abilities and help them when I can. I’m flexible, patient and understanding. Really these are not specific skills for my job of being a teacher but more for life. Life is my real job. Am I good at that? I’m still a student in that regard and hope to always be.

I took this picture because Cap was super chilled and sunk into the sofa, lost in his fur. No new pictures today so this is a default fallback cat pic!

Big Tokes – 29th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Fucked up and thinking
All the crazy thoughts
Eyes half shut and drooping
Smashed out of sorts
Time stretched and twisted
An hour, a second, a day
Wake up next week
With nothing left to say
Your brain on drugs
The egg now over-fried
Paranoia and suspicion
Now set deep inside

I don’t want innovations which improve my shopping experience or make smartphones a tiny bit better. I want innovations which eliminate world hunger…innovations which help humans live in harmony with our ecosystem.

Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and high
Today I’m grateful for:
Matt giving me some kratom tea and then some weed tea at his place that had me fucked up and paranoid on the way home and when I got in I went straight to bed where I kinda fell in and out of dream state. I woke up an hour later groggy and still slightly bent. I’ve done nothing else but be lazy tonight. Weed really seems to be the best drug to keep people sedated.
The best thing about today was:
Having fun with my kids in class again. I think we got past the rocky start we had last week and I feel a little more confident again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Well, due to that unexpected high I wasn’t able to do things that I would normally want to do and I’m at peace with that decision. I felt out of control and the way to deal with it was just to slow everything down.
What are you curious about?
I’d like to say I’m curious about everything but that’s not really true. I’m probably less curious about many things now just out of laziness. There are things I don’t need to know. Actually, so much I don’t need to know. With modern technology, I wonder if my kids feel like this about everything. Just find out what you need to know when you need it. Maybe in the foreseeable future, this will be a benefit.

I took this picture because this is the first foggy morning of winter. Despite it being cooler in the morning we’ve needed the aircon on again at night and right now I’m sweating away with two fans before heading into the chilly bedroom.

Dig In – 27th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The roots have grown
The longer you stay
The harder it is to leave

Now time has shown
That along the way
You’ve found what you believe

The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor.

Voltaire

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
The fisherman who caught the prawns I ate, somewhere far away. Shipped them to shore, then the factory workers who prepared them and packaged them and the drivers who delivered them.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying ice cream and snacks after a weed gummy. It’s hard to stop eating!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I could tell Amy was getting a little irritable around lunch time so I just laughed and joked a little and not getting sucked into an argument over nothing. She quickly lightened up and everything was normal again. These situations can quickly go out of control when I don’t handle them well.
In what ways have you observed balance in nature or in the universe?
Looking at mountains, staring at the sea. I see balance in nature when there are no humans around and I become a ghost, an observer but only as a memory. Looking up at the stars and the moon, being grateful for this very specific role I have been given.

I took this picture because Jet made this nice drawing of me and my nice shirt! This picture is a throwback to a couple of weeks ago. No pictures again today!

The Out-Group – 4th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There are no two ways about it
When you’re swimming in the soup
There’s no chance to doubt it
You are in – in the out-group

There can be nothing left to nuance
No greys amongst white and black
Every side gets what it wants
And there’s no turning back

Journalists need experts as badly as experts need journalists.

from Freakonomics

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
Thinking that the power adaptor I had to buy was 1600 baht but turned out to be 1200 baht which made me feel better about still having to spend this large amount of money.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling good being in classes and around my students. They bring me joy and frustration and I love them all. What a privilege to watch these boys and girls slowly adapt themselves as they develop into young men and women.
What relationships have you let go of?
The ones that take up too much of my energy. I know my tribe and who they are or even will be when I meet them. At times I’ve had to make acquaintances outside my tribe but trying to make them into deeper friendships doesn’t work out for me. I choose not to adapt to ways I find dismal and accepted as the norm. And from within my tribe, there are people of all different varieties and those that weren’t of a genuine nature were left behind also.

I took this picture because I went to the weed shop to buy some gummies for tomorrow’s bike ride

Yard – 12th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In between the cobblestones, dark and damp
Cities raise armies in dirty power games
Unseen except for curious men in the clouds
And relocated along with the rains

The world turns slow when not watched
No one pursues the moon across the sky
A violent vicious circle magnified
Inconsequential as it passes on by

The years teach much which the days never know.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and tired.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady at Sensi Weed who explained about all the different types of weed and associated goods her shop had for sale. I bought a tea bag, a chocolate, 4 gummies and a gram of some weed. I ate a gummy tonight and feel a little lightheaded. Maybe try the tea tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a backlog of things out of the way whilst drinking a couple of coffees at 22 Grams. I felt very relaxed and had a lot of patience whilst waiting for my students to perform at Central.

Do you eat red meat?

I haven’t eaten red meat for the last 40 years.

I took this picture because this is my student’s (Aum) dance group performing at Central in a competition. They struggled with nine people onstage. It was much easier for the groups of five. Sunwa also performed singing and dancing solo.

Time And Confusion – 21st September 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Get out of this confusion
The beat waiting to be found
Distraction is just an illusion
In which it’s easy to be drowned
There’s panic in the nation
To which is holding tight
The sense of coming elation
Knowing that the time is right

Most people are not even aware of their need to conform. They live under the illusion that they follow their own ideas and inclinations, that they are individualists, that they have arrived at their opinions as the result of their own thinking – and that it just happens that their ideas are the same as those of the majority.

Erich Fromm

Today I’m feeling:
Very contented.
Today I’m grateful for:
The staff at the shop who helped me sort out the problem with the power adaptor I bought yesterday, finally swapping out everything for a couple of others that were more expensive but they gave me for free. Unfortunately it still only charges slowly so I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and buy the real thing again when I have enough money spare.
The best thing about today was:
Receiving weed through the mail from an online store. I tried a little in some tea and it tasted delicious but the only effect it’s had is to make me tired.

I took this picture because I could get home early and do anything I pleased. I’m very happy these days.