Built With Blood – 11th September 2023

Send me down to the countryside
I’ll happily dig our ditches
For the benefit of the countrywide
Will one day lead to riches

Teach me how to let the water flow
And guard against the flood
Help each other to thrive and grow
Community built on sweat and blood


Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good though still a little rundown. My weekends are feeling the reverse of how they used to. I’m enjoying being at school during the day more than being at home. I know Amy will fill my time again when she’s back so I really should be relishing these lazy weekends of freedom. I’m not quite sure why I’m not.

Today I’m grateful for:

The last four candies I had in my car. When I got to school, the little group of kids I usually talk with were hanging out, eating breakfast. Noah looked at me with a smile and told me ‘Lin is crying’ and so she was. She had a snotty nose but didn’t look too sad. 

I tried to find out what was upsetting her and all it seemed to be was that the food she bought for breakfast tasted bad. I think she knew that it wasn’t something so serious to be crying about but perhaps it was just an overwhelming feeling of disappointment and hunger. Tears then poured off her cheeks and into her lap though as Noah, bemused, sat by and comforted her.

Later I gave her the last of my candies and she was already feeling better.

The best thing about today was:

Finishing updating the blog with the handwritten gratitude journal entries. Another book out of the way. A lot more to go but at least I’m not adding so much more these days as I write here in the app instead.

I’ll finish up the diary and old poetry book before adding another book into my bag. I only have one more old diary to go, from 1985.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At the beginning of my class today two girls asked if they could go to get water which I allowed them to do as I took the register and handed out worksheets. I didn’t think much about what else was going on around me but soon realised when the girls turned up again five minutes totally drenched in the storm that came through. They had no way to dry off except jumping up and down and shaking themselves off and needless to say that didn’t really work. They couldn’t do my work because they would have just gotten the sheet wet but they agreed to do it home tonight. Let’s see if they do.

Something I learned today?

There is a city in China called Nagqu that is larger by area than Sweden! This ‘factoid’ seems to depend a lot on the definition of city though.

How am I using technology to make my life better?

Mainly for reading books and articles but there are probably many more that I’m already taking for granted. I am from a time when microwaves were the brand new thing, otherwise I would be scrubbing baked beans stuck on the bottom of the saucepan til this day.

The amount of information readily available now is overwhelming and I think most people are struggling to get to grips with it all.

I do still prefer the traditional methods for consuming information and entertainment such as books, comics and CDs but even these are diminishing now. I used to collect vinyl, comics and DVDs but all these things are now readily available, legal or not, at a few clicks.

I’m sometimes somewhat dubious that this makes my life better.

What is most important?

A healthy body, a healthy mind? Love? Amy? Hayden? My cats? My home? My work?
Most important….?
Is anything important?

What is in my control?
The struggle. The suffering. The stress. 
To be here. To breathe. To persevere.

This question raises more questions. Or am I just avoiding a definitive answer?
Most important to me must be myself. If I don’t take care of that how can I take care of anything else.

I took this picture because the combination of the misters in the cafe entrance garden, the downpour of rain and the dark foreboding clouds suddenly made this exit from a modern cafe feel like the beginning of an adventure into a damp and mysterious wonderland.

Make The Call – 10th November 2022

It’s just a call, dial the number
Maybe they won’t pick up
And all will be forgiven

Dial the number, make the call
The click of the pick-up
The heart skips
A new beginning
Nervous

Once words flow though
Out the stories pour
These things kept secret
Now shared experiences
Empathy and sympathy emerge
That won’t be so bad at all


No man can really say that he knows what joy is until he has experienced peace.

Henry Miller

Today I’m feeling:
Satisfied but still tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
My old student Kamboom, who messaged me and we were able to arrange to meet at Sammakhi next Tuesday. I can see from her messages that her English is excellent now. It must be nearly three years since I saw her last time.
The best thing about today was:
Watching Top Boy for a couple of hours and not getting itchy to watch something. I’ve been flicking around Youtube too much so it was nice to submerge into something a little more sustaining
Daily thought
Do you still think you can change the world?
I think we have to think like that. We change the world with the way we interact with others and any of our actions are passed along into the future. Even in a diminished capacity, every little thing we do moves us forward, for both better and worse. The seeds may be sown by a single word. I have to believe we can.
What do you explore on the evenings or weekends?
Evenings and many weekends are usually mental explorations. Otherwise, I like to go for long bike rides and explore tracks, often overgrown and unused. I don’t usually explore much on foot or explore different food and drink places. I’m comfortable with the good places I have found but know its also good to try new places and find other new favourites.

I took this picture because every year I can notice when the sun rises above the stupa on the horizon. It feels like my little Stonehenge although there’s nothing particular about today from where I’m looking out. I wonder where the sun rises above it on solstice days. It’s possible it carries some meaning in that way as quite a lot of cultural events are based around the moon at least.