The dream is dead, since the sixties Turned to the seventies, nice and sleazy Endless wars processed the hippies and pixies Economic vandals left a peace uneasy
Was it in our name, the forever fight for peace? Did we ever question what’s going on here? The grabs for land then returned for lease The struggle for survival, a punishment severe
Can the decks be cleared with genocide? The algorithms are running the numbers There’s no longer a place to hide And we’re left holding only clunkers
Sign away our lives with disappearing ink Fingers crossed and handshakes informal Accustomed to shit we no longer smell the stink This is the new normal – abnormal
Average to fair. Didn’t sleep for long enough again but forced myself up and to do a little 10-minute exercise and hope to start getting back into it.
I still have headaches and my voice and throat is still a little sore and croaky. I’m in a reasonable headspace though.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
My adaptability. As I’m entering details into the blog from when I started working in high school at CRPAO I can see how I have managed to adapt myself to the environment and become more flexible and understanding.
The best thing about today was:
Jet, Lin and Mai, my old grade 9 students, love touching my belly for some reason but today Lin squealed and called over Jet and they were both disappointed to feel that I have lost some belly fat.
I’m not actually sure that I have but this made me feel good that perhaps some of the exercising that I have been doing these past few years may be having some small effect.
Something I learned today?
I spoke to Hayden yesterday and he has moved into a new place, which he seems happy with. He also reckons he’s on for a new workplace which will give him a little more money and better working conditions. I hope that he gets that.
He has a few days off and is flying down to Melbourne to get a tattoo. Seems a long way to go just for a tattoo but, I guess he’ll be doing other stuff whilst there. I think his mum is still supporting him too much but he’s slowly getting there to stand on his own two feet.
Amy took this picture because sometimes we can get our grass cut for free!
Are you sick and tired of the same old thing Or are you happy enough? Tell me When does so much become so little? When does too little become too much?
It feels like you’ve been here before These are familiar words you sing Wheels spinning Stuck on the rat race treadmill Are you sick and tired of the same old thing?
A trophy wife and trophy life Surrounded by all this glittering stuff Are you empty? Is that a constant nagging inside Or are you happy enough?
I have so many questions Are you certain of all that you see? Never wrong? I don’t believe everything that you Tell me
The Joneses are growing bigger Your ego inflexible and brittle Tired of waiting Believing it’s always your turn When does so much become so little?
Your debt to yourself is catching up Your life is empty (as such) Left with no thing Just sand slipping through your fingers When does too little become too much?
A little better today after all that sleep yesterday. I ended up waking a little early this morning, took a while to get myself going but my first two classes were fun and easy.
I feel freaking hot though, my body seems to be working overtime to get rid of whatever is making me sick. No fever though.
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting through the day in reasonably good shape. I was tired but energised again after another bowl of Pla Tom from Chef Amy. I think I’ll sleep well tonight if I can keep this little cough under control.
The best thing about today was:
On my way to my last class, I found 4 of the students that I had penalised for not submitting work yesterday furiously writing it all out in the canteen. I stood over them for about a minute and they were so focused they didn’t realise I was there.
When they all looked up they gave me a half-upset and annoyed look, along with an ‘ok, I fucked up’ half-smile.
They were wonderfully behaved in my class today and we all had a good time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was all set to teach in my normal room with aircon this morning when another teacher came along and kicked the kids out. We easily found another room but unfortunately, without aircon.
To be honest, the aircon doesn’t make that much difference when a room is full off sweaty teenagers (and a sweaty old man!).
In the past, I might have let this sudden change bother me but now I can deal with it easily.
Something I learned today?
I learned that the US Anti-Doping Agency, which monitors for performance-enhancing drugs in sports, let off offenders and allowed them to keep competing so long as they dobbed in other cheaters!
This same agency has now accused the Chinese swimmers of being drug cheats at the Olympics, even though they were tested 3 times more than any other country and passed every test.
The anti-China rhetoric has jumped the shark.
I took this picture because earlier in the week, Baipad had alerted me to a Facebook auction with this Gloomy Bear plushie. I bid 220 baht and won and here he is sitting on the shelf next to my bed. It gives me the opportunity to give back the plushie that Baicard gave me on Teacher’s Day 4 years ago and had been sitting there collecting dust ever since.
If you’re going to fight the universe Learn to become wise first Else you’ll spend time sulking in corners Where thoughts become the worst
Joys are formed deep within Even on the path of most resistance Prepare well for the journey ahead Is the teacher’s eternal insistence
Inspired by a Sadhguru quote and a student who loves to battle with me in class (and obviously reminds me much of myself at that age) 19th Oct 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Ahead
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and slow which is surprising to me as I did next to nothing yesterday and should feel refreshed. Is my body telling me that I need to rest more or that I need to be doing more?
During the workweek, I’m switched on and ready to go and can usually get up at 6 am without any problem. I’m enthusiastic and inspired. But with nothing planned to wake up for in the morning, it’s like I’ve died!
Yesterday I didn’t write and didn’t get to play guitar despite having hours of free time.
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy’s safe return and wanting to go straight from the airport to Makro to buy ingredients and cook.
Even though only gone a few days and knowing I’m able to take care of feeding myself, I was struggling to be bothered a little yesterday so I’m glad to have my personal chef back at home!
The best thing about today was:
Nothing in particular. I ran out of energy soon after picking up Amy. She even thought that I was hungover and I kinda felt like that.
I napped for a little while in the late afternoon and have recovered some energy from that but also ready for an early night and long sleep, with another day off tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy was talkative whilst we were eating but my brain still wasn’t working properly. She was, fairly slowly, drinking small glasses of wine but seemed to me to be getting louder. I could feel some tension within me because of that but I knew it was my problem and not hers.
After eating I went to the bedroom and read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
Something I learned today?
You can buy some highly discounted items on the Bath and Body Works website, so I stocked up the cart and will purchase once I get paid!
19th Feb 2025 – Money ran short so that I never bought anything in the end.
A song sung of departure towards a journey of woe Giant squid squirt inky dark blinded to the flow No fuel until Friday, at least the captain is saying so A panorama of the horizon begs which way to go Neglected were the whispers, part of the ocean’s show Set light to the sails, watch the flames aglow From officer to pilot, knowing what’s to know Clouds clot to bring the storm and finally the blow Graduating to the ground to see the mountains grow
Feeling tired and tense. After finally getting up, the two Utopia coffees kicked started my brain but not my body! Hence the feeling of tension.
Amy is wound up about the useless builder that has ripped us off for the guttering. I’m trying to divert her focus but she’s out for blood, and obviously frustrated.
It’s annoying for sure, though I blame myself. I got the feeling he was useless almost immediately but didn’t go with my instinct.
It’s been an average day that hasn’t seen me brighten up particularly and at only 8.15 pm I’m going to bed!
Today I’m grateful for:
The AI assistant in Quizizz that can quickly put together questions based on a text. It’s very useful to speed up putting new lessons together.
The best thing about today was:
Writing, and enjoying writing, a new lesson for my new HAP grade 12 class. It also inspired me to come up with more ideas that I will try to turn into more lessons.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
After dropping Amy at Cafe No Name for P’Berm’s birthday celebration I picked up some watermelon for Baipad and popcorn for her sister NamHom for her birthday.
I took this picture because Piti was chilling at the coffee machine.
I’m pouring rainbows down on you Until your cup is filled You’ll overflow with a love so true It can never be killed All your seeds will bear fruit In fields never to be tilled Joy spread deep from the root A life spent fulfilled
Pretty good after a long sleep from the day of travelling yesterday. Should be a relaxing day ahead.
Today I’m grateful for:
Aircon. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this but today was freaking unbearable outside between 10am (when I woke up) and around 6pm. Even just going to the kitchen or bathroom was a chore. It’s going to be hotter this coming week too!
The best thing about today was:
I didn’t do much to speak of today though when the sun did finally relent I enjoyed watering the parched earth in the garden.
Something I learned today?
Charles Cunningham Boycott (12 March 1832 – 19 June 1897) was an English land agent whose ostracism by his local community in Ireland gave the English language the term boycott.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I gave Art and Noey some gifts of candy that I picked up at the market in Chiang Saen yesterday.
What’s a recent realization I’ve had about myself?
I’m starting to BE old. I’m not in need of thrills or excitement so much these days.
I think I realised this when I think about travelling overseas. When I think about going somewhere with Amy I’m not so interested in planning things to do and where to go.
When I see people in places on YouTube videos I think that might be nice to go and see but I’ve just seen it pretty well. I would be taking the same photos every other traveller has taken. I feel like I may not be able to savour it deep into my soul like I might have done before. I’m much more amenable to just getting on a tour bus and letting others deal with logistics.
Having said that I’m still interested in organising a tour for a band around Southeast Asia and dealing with the stress of that, perhaps because the shows would give me the drive and inspiration I’d need.
Perhaps this is not a great realisation but has crossed my mind more recently.
Amy took this picture because this princess was enjoying our (relatively) expensive prawns yesterday.
Positive but a little tired and soft-sighted. Exercise was tough again but easier than yesterday. Still only doing one set for this week. Hope to get back to two next week.
Today I’m grateful for:
Seeing all my happy students again, giving me hugs, telling me they missed me, asking for candy! But most of all to Aunwar who brought me a piece of cake for my birthday! A typical, kind, Muslim gift. If only he was good in class! Haha! He’ll get there.
The best thing about today was:
Still being able to duck out after the morning flag-raising ceremony and sit in the cafe for a couple of hours before hanging out with the kids again at lunchtime, distributing the knick-knack gifts that I brought back from Australia and then heading home around 1pm.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Originally we were told that we had a whole week of activities but today I found out that we start our scheduled classes on Wednesday. Not particularly bothered by this and I know that everything changes all the time now and can better cope with these annoyances.
Something I learned today?
A Chinese airline passenger threw coins into the engine when they were boarding. It’s happened more than once and each time they all said they did it for luck and a safe flight!
What is my favourite memory from the past month?
Being in Sydney again and catching up with friends and family. The blue skies, green trees and purple jacarandas; old familiar smells, sights and sounds.
One particular brief moment stands out and that was walking over the new park at the end of Barangaroo, along the piers of the Rocks, under the bridge and around to the Quay.
Throughout my travels around the city were constant reminders of events past, who lived where, warehouses, houses and venues for shows.
My life, guided by the dull dreary boredom-brown of England, then expanded by the city and country relaxed-excitement of Australia and contemplated here in hot-humid jungle-country Thailand. It’s hard not to be happy.
What am I learning about life right now?
I’m in the middle of a ten-day mini-meditation Stoicism course and whilst it covers many things I have learned already I need to keep reinforcing these things and keep them in mind and transfer them to practice.
I’m also learning that I don’t have enough time for everything and need to prioritise some things. I can easily fill my days. Every day.
I took this picture because the full moon with Mars (?) nearby was the view this wonderful temperate evening where I breathed deep the relatively fresh air. Perfect.
A town all snowy white and middle-class The drunks tell stories often repeated Shufflers trapped in a cul-de-sac torture All plans for their children defeated
A week in the sun by the sea Swap cardigans for sunburned backs Strange behaviours set tongues wagging Is this the life that everyone lacks?
Enter no more the green and pleasant Ruined by the hardest-working poor Facing fists of fury on walking home All desperately banging on the door
The drizzle drenches the pavements grey Children too bored to stomp in puddles Tugged by the leashes of all that glitters Out of reach of all of these muddles
Excitements distract along the terrace Dogs fight cats, cat fights dog A word of wise from the blinders Submit oneself to pointless slog
A little more positive and upbeat. It’s not time that heals our grief, it’s the forgetting.
Today I’m grateful for:
Sight. My eyesight is suffering a little these days perhaps from the dodgy air, lack of sleep and constant looking at screens. But I can still see. If I had to choose between losing my sight or my hearing I would choose losing sight. I would miss reading but could still listen to audiobooks. I think I would really struggle emotionally if I couldn’t listen to music though.
It still feels like yesterday that, as children, we were all warned about listening to loud music would damage our ears so much that we would go deaf in our old age. And that watching too much TV would lead to early-onset blindness. I had to start wearing glasses when I was around 26 years old and my mum had to wear hearing aids from perhaps her 50s onwards. So I guess I’m doing all right so far.
The best thing about today was:
Brushing Cap and Tig whilst they purred in pleasure. They have been getting more attention from me now Kim is gone. They are still fussy about being touched or picked up but if they are in the right mood it does seem as if they are reciprocating my love.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Right now Netflix isn’t working for me. Just as I’d like to settle back and watch some more of the series Dark. It’s not like there is nothing else I can do so this is only a mild annoyance. I’m aware it’s also a very first-world problem too.
Something I learned today?
Apparently, there is a weird law here in Thailand that makes it illegal for politicians to sing and dance on stage during an election. This came to note because someone called out the current Thai PM for doing exactly this recently. The annoying thing about the article discussing this was the fact that there was no indication of why this was a law. Presumably, it made sense at the time it was implemented. It may even make sense now if it was explained. Like any law in Thailand, it is fairly flexible and depends on who broke it as to whether any action would be taken.
What are 3 things that bring me joy?
Nothing is really bringing me joy right now. My positive emotions are not that strong I guess. The emotions of grief and sadness are much easier for me to tap into. I’m bouncing back slowly but it does make me think why can’t I be prone to happiness and joy instead? They are all just emotions.
I took this picture because this is our infamous red sun as it sets behind our blooming frangipani. For most of these days, the smoke is so thick that if the sun can be seen at all it can be stared at directly without a problem. That’s something I’d prefer not to be able to do for the sake of a clear sky.
Always on the path of most resistance Never giving up, refusing to play the game No unexpected award during your existence Perhaps in death, others will speak your name
A theatre in which to participate A groupthink in which to integrate Share no thoughts, share no feeling Just a picture of instant appealing
A fantasy completely documented A world that you yourself invented Within that mirror, behind the screen A hamster wheel forever unseen
A like or love with each clickety-click Buying more will do the trick The magic hat, a rabbit appears A wave of the wand to dry your tears
Ocean sunsets with glorious wives A time to remember for all your lives Yet forgotten as you endlessly feed And try to satisfy your doom-scrolling need
1994ever 