“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Shared with dVerse – Spanish Lira
A biolet quadrille shared with dVerse – promises.
Highly inspired by The Buzzcocks – Promises
Today I’m feeling:
Not bad once I got going, it was a struggle to get up this morning and my right shoulder was a little achy from using the new silica scrubs I ordered from Temu in the shower last night. For some reason, I had a sudden urge to clean.
Amy came with me this morning as she had some things to do in the city and she’ll pick me up again at 2.30 for my only day of the week to be able to get home a little early.
Health:
Physical: 7
Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
My old students, Ploy and Ozone, playfully begging me to teach them again. I’m not sure exactly what brought this on for them but it made me feel good.
I wish I could teach everyone who begs to be taught!
The best thing about today was:
Listening to my grade 8s attempting to read a reasonably difficult passage of text and doing way better than I expected.
They are no longer afraid to try and to fail or get things wrong. Though some still need to be pushed to work because they are not really interested, I can see that they do have the capabilities if they so desired. Unfortunately, they are too busy with distractions most of the time.
Something I learned today?
Today I learned something that has left me a little stunned.
When Amy picked me up, she told me that she had gone to Nut’s house to have lunch with her and Bee, as Bee was visiting the psych at MFU.
Bee then told the whole story about her and George and it is fucking amazing!
Firstly, Bee moved out of their house about 3 years ago and they have been separate ever since! All this time, we have been saying that George was holding her back and that she was stupid to stay and she had actually already left.
This got me thinking about why she never said anything before and it turns out that George is still trying to influence her and to keep things secret from other people.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. We were all shocked to know that they were actually married! Neither of them had ever told any one of us so-called friends about this.
And why did she leave? She finally had enough of his vicious manipulation and control and had to get away from him. She said that he is totally self-absorbed and selfish. He has no friends and only cares about himself.
Well, those things I had figured out for myself and now I feel completely validated. He is indeed the dark empath, the smiling narcissist.
Bee said that he talks badly about everybody behind their backs. This is also a reminder for me to try and not to do the same thing but this one is going to be difficult, as I would love to put him in his place. I’d like to wipe that smirking smile off his face!
Interesting that Kru Mai said George no longer talks with him in the teachers’ room but that George has told others that it is Kru Mai who no longer talks to him!
My mind is blown by all these revelations and it makes me feel more confident in myself. All those times he tried to manipulate and control me, too and got upset when I refused to comply – it’s all making sense and falling into place.
I should never have doubted myself. I realise now that on quite a few occasions in my past, I have been a very good judge of character.
I learned a lot about myself today and that’s great!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I bought an inspirational poster online and put it up in one of my classrooms today. I will refer to it at different times during my lessons.
Today I’m feeling:
Definitely tired again and not from lack of sleep. Still waiting to get over the hump of exhaustion brought on by exercise. Thankfully just the one class in the morning today and I spent til midday running around to get documents together for my work permit again before heading home and a catch up nap.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nancy again, as I asked if she could get the medical certificate I needed for me again, like she did last time. Otherwise it means me either waiting around or going back to the city after 6pm and the last time I did that the clinic didn’t even open. Happily, she agreed.
The best thing about today was:
A third coffee at 22 Grams, after a couple earlier at House. It tasted delicious and spurred me to action to make some easy Quizizz for my classes tomorrow.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve been trying to push my student Baipad to become more confident and independent but I can see now that she is not yet mature enough and is somewhat comfortable despite her frustrations.
I get it, at 14, we want independence AND everything handed to us on a plate. Sooner or later a rude shock awakens us.
It’s an interesting contrast that she knows girls a similar age as her back in her family village in the mountains and they are already having babies. We both agreed that that is not a good situation to be in but also highlights her somewhat comfortable life at home where a bed and a mobile phone are the main objects of her interest.
Something I learned today?
I still don’t have syphilis! I’m not sure why foreigners need to get tested for this to get a work permit.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I made sure to encourage the students who were putting some effort into their work today. Once they got rolling with it, it was great to see. Some days they make me proud. Tomorrow may be a different story of course, but I’ll take it for today.
Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed as no classes today but maybe too relaxed as I’m sleepy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The wide variety of food available especially on market days like today. I got some deep-fried fish with riceberry rice and chopped unripe mango covered with chilli fish sauce. My mouth is watering as I’m writing this!
The best thing about today was:
Sitting in House for 3 hours drinking coffee and adding blog entries, finishing off the old diary with my gig list.
Tomorrow I start adding 1983 entries and consider figuring out other gigs I went to after 1992 which is when I stopped writing them down.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Nothing has needed to be completely in my control today. It has passed by reasonably uneventfully!
Something I learned today?
The French live 6 years longer than Americans on average and work fewer hours and produce one-third more than the British. I’m not sure how this was calculated, or even true, but I’m siding with the French against my own birthplace!
What do you think gets better with age?
I’m going to treat this as what gets better as I age and that is wisdom. As it should. There’s something wrong if you are not getting wiser.
The weekend disappeared in some kind of rush of nothing in particular.
Domestication took over as I cleaned up around the house as Aing and Now arrived on Sunday morning and I should at least make everything presentable somehow.
And the biggest chore at the moment is watering the garden daily as it is so dry.
Amazing how quickly months and months of rain can disappear even in winter.
I happily received a nice online order with the release of the Ad Interim album and anticipating another release from a cool band from Istanbul that approached me recently.
And, in my endless search for interesting music, I found a band called Focusrights whom I felt immediately compelled to contact though they weren’t able to commit to anything.
I still get off on the feeling of discovery of music that gets my heart pumping.
2nd Nov 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge – Grey
Freedom, a gift wasted on the free.
Alex Dobrenko
Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Seeing most of my students again, one month older. Even in that short time, they change quickly. I wonder if I do too.
The best thing about today was:
Happily waiting at the bank to open a new account. It took about an hour to just get seen but after that was easy. The thing is, it never felt like an hour as I was prepared mentally and kept myself busy with my phone and my brain.
What do you love about the month of November?
Right now it’s gotta be the cooler air. So good to almost feel cold. It’s almost time to start putting on a t-shirt. Daytime is still melting but a little less intense.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the coolness of winter days very slowly returning. Comfortable mornings of fog and misty mountains.
As I’m reading another article about stoicism, gratitude and amor fati, I can feel my brain changing. These words were revelatory for me when I first read them. Now they are comfortable reminders of my acceptance of the way the world is and the way I am. I often think about my mother and wish to hear her talk about things in our lives. I can’t do that except in my mind. That brings me some comfort still.
I miss Kimi even more, in some ways. My mother is/was always a part of my life. Kimi was a kindred spirit I found, like Jochen and Matt, Rich, Steve and Rob and others. Finding some special people in your life is a rewarding experience that provides hope and gratitude to my being.
Amy’s auntie passed away last night. Perhaps some people will feel the same way about her. I hope so.
Our plans (what little we have) will change this weekend but that is out of my control so I can accept it.
I will do what I can to continue living this blessed life in the best way possible. Now, it’s time for class. Let’s see if I can take this positivity and rub it off on some of my students.
I am so happy and grateful for the small rise in temperature yesterday. The air is comfortable with a t-shirt and shorts again. Let’s enjoy it whilst it lasts.
I am so happy and grateful for this jacket to keep me warm in these cooler days. And I’m happy for these cooler days. It was great to get into a warm bed last night.
Something is bugging me today but I don’t know what. Maybe I haven’t eaten enough or slept enough. I recognise a dispirited feeling. Unsure, insecure.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my jacket this week. It’s so cold for me at the moment and this jacket, which I never expected to be wearing, is keeping me lovely and warm.
Yesterday I showed some resilience. Small things upset me in the morning and everything felt overwhelming again. After school, I went to the dentist. I think sitting under the drill settled me down again. At home, Amy was quite negative about being here in Thailand but I was the one telling her things aren’t that bad. I realised I had some strength and resilience I need to draw on more.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that other people have shown an interest in working with me. It shows me that I am valued for my contributions.
Gratitude Journal
Today I’m looking forward to a job interview with another school. I’m looking forward to Hayden coming to visit in a couple of weeks’ time. My friend, Ellen, will also visit from China with lots of yummy Sichuan sauce. I’m looking forward to getting away from some people in this school where I work. I’m looking forward to time hanging around at home with Amy and our friends. I’m looking forward to the cooler weather of winter. Damn! I’m looking forward to a lot of things.
23rd Feb 2021 – Looking back on this looking forward is interesting. Some of the things I was looking forward to, didn’t necessarily turn out for the best but it was definitely the right way to approach all those things. I know some folks who anticipate the worst of the future and then feel pleasantly surprised when things turn out better than expected. I think I used to be like that but not these days. I’m much more of the thinking that even difficult tasks, events and situations are just occurrences and they will be over after a certain period of time regardless of what my thoughts are about them.
1994ever 