Tag: Wordle

Beaten Heart – 24th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

And so it must be repeated…

…when the cat scratches at the door wanting to be let in
come, come

And so it must be repeated…

…when screeches of missiles fly overhead
run, run

And so it must be repeated…

…when Mama’s voice soothes the frayed edges
there, there

And so it must be repeated…

…when the fringe comes to the centre
win, win

And so it must be repeated…

…when the image of the devil is hailed as a hero
praise, praise

And so it must be repeated…

…when all the signs of dying breaths disappear
gone, gone

And so it must be repeated…

…when the locks are bolted after sunset
tight, tight

And so it must be repeated…

…when shiny ribbons emerge from the dust
curiouser and curiouser

And so it must be repeated…

…when the tide rises to overwhelm the bloodied sands
rush, rush

And so it must be repeated…

…when the swarm of flies search for new flesh
buzz buzz

And so it must be repeated…

…when the ghoulish fiends build castles on the haunted beach
higher and higher

And so it must be repeated…

…when the night breaks so does the heart
beat

beat

beat

Shared with dVerse Poetics: Of Mantras, Repetita Juvant and The Sunday Whirl Wordle 676 and inspired by this post at Sunra Rainz

Today I’m feeling:

I got myself up and running at 6.10 having already woken up a little earlier yet again!

Last night I made a little mistake as we received a message from school with our new timetables and I had a look at mine and was a little frustrated.

Firstly, I have been given 25 hours again, whilst David got 22 and George only 20! Then I noticed that I have two seven-hour days on Monday and Friday! Finally, I have been given 4 separate one-hour classes throughout the week, which annoys me as my planning is usually for 2-hour lessons. With only one hour, it will usually only end up with about 30 minutes teaching time at most.

Funnily enough, one of my students Jee, messaged me saying that she was disappointed that I would only teach her for two hours a week again and I mentioned that I was frustrated too, for the reasons above. She replied, ‘That’s not fair!’ But I said to her, ‘Yeah, but it will likely change anyway,’ and considered that things are not set in stone just yet.

Unfortunately, it couldn’t stop my brain working overtime for a while as I was trying to sleep and I was playing out scenarios about what to do and say.

By morning, though, I had let it all go and just figured to get on with things and accept them. For now, at least.

After a long, happy, hot day, I was starting to feel flaky as I was driving home. I could easily have slept until tomorrow even though it was only 2.30 pm, but I knew that wasn’t going to be possible.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Baitoey, an old student of mine who I will teach again this semester, who helped me get things sorted to create a new LINE group for her class. This class has 48 students and is certainly going to be a challenge to keep them all engaged.

Kru Ning also helped me out, as she is the homeroom teacher for them, too. It’s good to have a reasonably competent ally when dealing with a big class like this.

The best thing about today was:

Catching up with all the students again. I got so wrapped up in talking with them that I didn’t even make it to my first coffee until after 10 am!

They all seemed happy to be back at school again and to see their friends. I was certainly happy as kids came to talk and play all throughout the day.

Kwang also turned up to see her friends before she switched schools. I gave her a hug and told her that I would miss her. She said ‘how much’ and I told her, just a little bit.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy told me in the morning that Nong Oh’s mum passed away today and that she wants to go and help at the temple today and tomorrow. This means there’s little chance of rest for me before we do the three-hour drive to Chiang Mai on Saturday morning.

Our third funeral this month. What can we do? I am grateful to still be alive and healthy to have these problems.

Something I learned today?

I found out that sports day is at the end of November, for a couple of days and for most of the month leading up to it, we will have 50-minute periods instead of our usual one hour.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Driving Amy and Baew to the temple after school this evening. There’s not much that I can do to help here, so I was quite relieved when Amy suggested I bring a book.

I took this picture because we are not the only ones making a home here.

Stone Sirens – 20th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Why the angels are heaven-bound?
What purpose do they serve
When on earth there’s no sign to be found?

The witchcraft of man, made curious
The angel descends to earth
God’s breath drawn and furious

A silent walk through woods at night
amongst the garden flowers
Where beauty hides within plain sight

In thunder and a whirl of lightning flash
A metamorphosis into a siren
God’s wrath turns golden wings to ash

Unable to fly and then bound in stone
God sighs at the circle of life
The angel’s choice to die alone

Shared with No Theme Thursday picture prompt and The Sunday Whirl Wordle #675
(wordlist: witchcraft metamorphosis garden whirl woods fly siren sign breath stone circle why)

Today I’m feeling:

Good, though my neck is a bit creaky. As I looked into the bathroom mirror after getting up, I thought that I’m not doing too badly for my age. When I think about retirement approaching in the next decade, I can’t imagine it as I still feel fit and vital (at least this morning anyway!)

Last night Amy turned up the air conditioning, and I was freezing as I also had a fan on me. Once I woke up, I had to get going to warm myself up!

Two hours later, two coffees and two poems down and I’m feeling good. Today I must NOT nap! I have a plan!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy always doing the washing up. It’s not that I don’t want to do it – I’m not allowed to do it! I’m not allowed in the kitchen in general and that suits me fine!

The best thing about today was:

Staying awake all day! Yay! Amy’s mum and dad came for lunch and stayed for a while afterwards, so I took the opportunity to get out to my room for a while, adding to the blog and playing a little guitar.

I came back in at around 3 pm and executed my plan to stay awake by bleaching my hair, which also meant that I couldn’t be in a lying position either, so I read a bit more of Bob Mortimer’s biography, which is thoroughly enjoyable.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m down to my last 1000 baht with another two weeks left before getting paid! Actually, I have some of this month’s pay saved in another account that I was hoping to put towards getting some new glasses. Looks like I’m going to have to dip into that, though.

Something I learned today?

I watched an interesting video about a homeless guy in Bangkok called Pichai who leaves weird mind map-style graffiti around the city.

He has something going on in his head but was an interesting character and his ‘art’ is fascinating to look at.

I took this picture because they looked cute sitting together for most of the morning.

Germ Free – 9th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

I still exist in the sense of space
Any glitter will vanish without trace
Scrub away at these crusty limbs
Below these hollow bones, the sins

Managed to squeeze 12 prompt words (crusty scrub limbs vanish bones exist space glitter still hollow below sense) into 4 lines and still have some semblance of sense! Shared with The Sunday Whirl wordle 674. The title comes by way of X-Ray Spex’s ‘Germ-Free Adolescents’ with the refrain ‘scrub away, scrub away’

oday I’m feeling:

A little bit tired this morning as I forced myself up for a little exercise and on arriving at school, not really having much to do, though I guess I should do some lesson planning.

As I was falling asleep last night, I was urging myself to try and wake up with the same positive feeling that I had yesterday. I’m not quite there due to tiredness but still fairly positive.

At 10.30, I headed to the temple for Krit’s father’s funeral. A quiet, sombre morning.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Not having to be too involved with the lesson planning at school again. Turn up and show my face for a while and it’s all good.

The best thing about today was:

I dropped Amy off at Baew’s, where the girls planned on a few drinks and I went off home, got some snacks and ate a gummy. It was a bit intense for a while and made time disappear way too quickly, like I was really conscious of it going so fast.

Amy video-called me a few times throughout the evening and looked quite drunk, though she was at least switching to water already. I’m glad she was having fun but also glad that I was asleep when she got home, as I don’t know how my stoned mind would have dealt with her!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

On meeting Kru Mai this morning, he surprised me a little by telling me that our classes will change from last semester. This was a little frustrating as I had planned well ahead with my lessons but thankfully, when I got my list, not too much had changed.

Catch Glimpses – 3rd October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

Catch glimpses of what secrets mean
The lies plague each breath
The bed wet with a fire dream
Another secret, another death

Jump at the thunder flashes
The lies set the dream on fire
Cut by a thousand lashes
You catch glimpses of the liar

Shared with The Sunday Wordle 673
word list: wet jump secret dream bed breath secrets lashes fire plague glimpses lies
23rd Oct 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – catch

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good, though my sleep was disturbed by the noise of heavy rain all through the night. By the time of my alarm going off, the rain had me deciding not to go to school in case what happened on Tuesday happened again.

Our soi is still looking passable but there doesn’t seem to be any break in the rain. Even the mountains aren’t visible.

By about 9 am, the rain had gone and looking at the weather app, it seemed like it wasn’t going to get any worse, so I decided to head into school and I made sure folks knew that I was around, then went and sat in Le Paradis, where I did some reading and writing but no school-related work!

I would’ve done it if I had stayed longer but by lunch time, it didn’t seem to matter if I stayed around or not, so I headed back home again.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The cookies at Le Paradis. They are the only snack or cake there that tastes good and they go well with the bad-tasting, cheap coffee. Balance.

I had two awesome coffees at Utopia again early this morning anyway, so all was good.

The best thing about today was:

Listening to my new ‘Classic’ playlist that I set up on my old iMac in my room, which I now leave playing all the time, so that when I turn on the stereo, it’s as if I’m listening to the radio.

Something I learned today?

As we were quietly sitting in our living room this afternoon, the village PA echoed announcements across the rice fields that said that if we presented photographic evidence, we could get some money from the government to cover any costs from the flooding.

The roof in Kim’s old room was been water damaged and also out in the driveway next to the road, there is a big, dangerous pot hole that we should get filled too.

Maybe worth our time and get a little bit of cash to cover fixing those things.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got two free bottles of water when I filled up the car with petrol this morning and when I got to school, I gave them to my two favourite school gardeners.

I messaged a few students (Freya, Paen, Funfai) to see how they were doing. Also Porpieng and Baitong, whom I wished well in their exams that they are doing this week.

Thumbing Kerouac – 4th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 7 Comments

Thumbing Kerouac again with a sigh
Yearning to be back on the road once more
The vines of fear wrap around my thigh
Rooting me here to tap at the door

The flash of sky will release the rain
The vanishing days despoil this trip
Blind to the trickles down the pane
And the candle top’s constant drip

Strong we are in the sun
Knowing one day
the rains will come

Submitted to WDYS #252 (picture prompt above) and Wordle #669 (12 words below)

Today I’m feeling:

A little bit better again, thankfully. I did sleep in this morning, though, which probably helped.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady at the post office who put up with my bullshit, asking her to give me prices on a package, with me taking bits out and then asking for a new price… and then asking for other available options and those prices. I wai’d her sincerely afterwards.

The best thing about today was:

Finding that someone had put up the latest Stewart Lee special on YouTube, and I watched it immediately as there’s a good chance it will soon get taken down again.

Living With A Stranger – 27th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 9 Comments

*Sometimes I feel like I’m living with a stranger
I’m talking to myself
The branches hang down to the stream
A tilt to somewhere else
That I don’t know

Words are gathered and turned to stone
Scratch and blow to see old bones
I don’t know why

We keep it tethered, our world unfeathered
We’re out of step, so don’t forget
To keep your ear to the ground

Returning home to meet the stranger
She’s talking to herself
From scratch, she bakes such lovely cakes
But words are somewhere else
That I don’t know

We tilt until the room is feathered
Or blow until the stone is gathered
I don’t know why

I can see her avalanches turn into sharpened branches
To break her bones, so don’t forget
To keep your head to the ground

*Lifted from Three’s Swann Street as are the rhymes and rhythms. Submitted to No Theme Thursday (the two pictures) and The Sunday Whirl Wordle #669. This poem partially reflects on the time with my second wife, Kyoko and how, eventually, our cultural backgrounds couldn’t be overcome.

Today I’m feeling:

Not quite right. Slept early again and woke up a little later, skipping exercise. 

I want to go to the hospital to get checked out and contemplating whether to do it this afternoon or in the morning.

Health:

Physical: 5
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to leave at lunchtime and come home for a nap and a restful evening.

I decided that I would go to the hospital tomorrow and take a day off but then Amy said I should use the health insurance coverage that I get through work, which means going to the hospital in the city. Then Jet messaged me for help with her accent for her play. 

So I guess I’ll clock in in the morning and then see what they say at the hospital and decide then whether to go to school. I’d like to help Jet and I only have an afternoon class, so I could do it if I don’t feel too bad.

The best thing about today was:

Getting to my first class and finding that only half would be there as the others had to attend a meeting. It made for a much more intimate class with only twelve students and was very enjoyable.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

That half my class was missing today made me wonder how to proceed but I figured the best way was to teach the same lesson to the other half next week and let today’s students have free time, which they weren’t going to complain about.

As I was walking to my second class Iphone told me that their morning meeting was about events next week and that the school was closed! Huh!? Another student, Jee,  confirmed it too.

When Kru Tang went by my class a little later, I asked her and she said that she had only just heard about it from another student as well!

I’m used to this by now. Anyway, Monday to Thursday, we are supposed to be teaching online but we all know that that isn’t going to happen!

Something I learned today?

See above.

Come Sail Away – 18th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Face the world alone with your suspicions
Silently wake to the morning’s pledge
Whisper in the darkness all your secrets
Your novel nears the river’s edge

Board the vessel unable to steer
The ache of nostalgia for the past
Alone again, your secrets spilled
The river flows along, wide and vast

Submitted to Wordle 667 at the Sunday Whirl

Today I’m feeling:

Surprisingly good despite only 5 hours of sleep and waking up still drunk. I know it will catch up with me later, but right now I’m getting myself set for the flight back to Chiang Rai.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The Casa Luna homestay in Siam that was in a good location and reasonably priced. Nothing extravagant but everything that we needed.

The best thing about today was:

Getting home. It’s nice to go away but it’s also nice at home. 

I’m also surprised how well I feel considering how much I drank last night.

Something I learned today?

Ipswich lost their first game of their return to the Premier League, 2-0 at home to Liverpool. From the look of the highlights, they seemed to do well for the first 60 minutes, though.

I took this picture yesterday at Union Mall because I was surprised to see a Junji Ito t-shirt here.

Waging Peace – 1st August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Breath, the gift of all of your Gods
No windswept sketches deny
Deep down below, against all odds
Wars raging from sky to sky

Silhouette kisses, all agree
Will these wonders never cease?
Untangled sense for all to see
Wage peace, let the tribe increase

Submitted to The Sunday Whirl Wordle #665. ‘Let the tribe increase’, once again taken from The Mob’s album of the same name.
23rd Sep 2024 – Submitted to Living Poetry Prompt: Silhouette

Today I’m feeling:

OK, not up or down, not thrilled or dejected.

Last night I woke up sometime in the middle of the night with my brain running.  This has happened for two nights in a row but last night it was much more difficult to get back to sleep.

A few days ago, I decided to cut the Tramadol tablet in half to try and cut down and maybe give myself a break from taking it for a while to see how I feel.  And last night I thought that this was perhaps what had caused me to wake up because this waking up with my mind running hasn’t happened since I started taking Tramadol.

I will see how it is tonight and go from there.  I’ve been incredibly calm and content since taking Tramadol but still curious if I can be that way without it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Boom, my grade 12 student.  We were studying the IELTS Speaking exam about technology and a main question was about how your life would be different without your most precious item of tech.

To demonstrate I took Boom’s phone and put it in my back pocket and asked her how she felt.  After she finished, I purposely didn’t give it back, which she accepted well.

I carried on talking with other students for about 20 minutes and she only once play-whined,’ Teacher – my phone…’ but I still held on to it.

Once I’d finished talking, I opened the camera app on her phone and walked around the classroom taking random photos.  Everyone was laughing and Boom took it all in her stride.

In the evening, I asked her if she had any good pictures from today and she sent me this one:

The best thing about today was:

The whole class mentioned above was a pleasure to teach again.  A fair few students were missing, which made it even easier to get more personal interactions.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The downside of those missing students is that they missed the prep for work required for next week.  Well, nothing I can do about that.

Also, in my grade 8 class, I have them reading in groups of 4 and Ten has not been prepared to do anything to help himself, so I put pressure on his group that if I grade the group it will be to the lowest scorer amongst them.  

I know this will have a negative effect in that it will make the group members think even less of Ten than they already do but I want to demonstrate to them that this is what happens in real life. The weakest person lets down the whole team.

Something I learned today?

I learned a whole lot about semi-fake mobile game ads, why they are made and how they are implemented.  It was a head-shaking experience.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I talked a little with grade 8 student Film today, as he has cut himself off from Ten and No, as they are not really fulfilling his expectations of friendship. I’m just conscious that last year he came to me to discuss his mental health and I don’t want him to be so isolated and cut himself off from everyone. It’s a weird group of kids in that class for sure. I like them all, except for Ten.

Vendetta Generation – 25th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Voices trembling, yet as one to sing
A collected mind travels the crow road
Where prayers and prophets seek to bring
The moon silk dreams once borrowed

A shatter as the violence worshipped returns
A zigzag missile homes in on the heart
Faced with the darkness, the torment burns
The moon silk dreams soon fall apart

Submitted to The Sunday Whirl Wordle 664 wordlist.

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up with the light before 5 am and knew I wasn’t going to get enough sleep, so I reset my alarm for a little bit later.

Even then, I still felt like I could go back to sleep easily, even after breakfast, driving to school and coffee!

As it was a special event day today, though (Thai Language Day), I soon perked up walking around school and talking with students. There were very few classes going on, so there was a fair amount of excitement in the air.

I cancelled my grade 12 class, giving them a small assignment to do instead and took it easy with the grade 8s in the afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting with students Jee and Pemai this afternoon. It started off with their gossip about Freya and helped me understand their point of view about her behaviour.  More interesting, though, was discussing differences between schools in Thailand and the West and also talking about some of the teachers and other students that they like and admire. 

Something I learned today?

Amy’s mum has shingles on the right side of her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the effects before but it looks really bad and painful. I need to investigate more about it so that I can try and avoid ever having it too!

I took these pictures of Anchan and Jee because they gave speeches in Thai about the importance of education (so they told me) for today’s event.

Ruins – 19th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pearls left at the altar
No more reveries for your name
Perfection starts to falter
Then vanish with a lover’s claim

Built to be broken
The air inside, a secret mist
Embraced by all the ghosts
The tragic altruist

Submitted to Wordle #663

Today I’m feeling:

Good, though I skipped exercise this morning as my alarm shocked me awake and my eyes were so heavy.  I thought I’d get straight back to a deep sleep but didn’t as my brain slowly engaged.  I did enjoy the rest though and I probably needed it.

I wasn’t looking forward to my first class, my lazy grade 11s on the relatively boring topic of presentations.  I try to get them going as much as I can but I think that they have other things to think about.  However, it did go well and I pulled back a little to talk with each group about their presentations and it was ok.

The second class, the grade 11 HAP and J-Biz kids, I prepped when they arrived that we would finish early and could complete the final task and bring to class next week.  They were happy with this as they had mentioned that they were overloaded with work for another class.

During that class I talked with Jee about problems between the J-Biz and HAP students in both grade 11 and 10.  She told me that the grade 11s were mostly fine but that in grade 10 they are not connecting well at all.

But she did talk to me about Freya causing all sorts of problems between everyone in the grade 11 class.  I know that there had been some issues before but I thought that it had kind of settled down now.  It seems not.

At the end of my class there was definitely some frank discussion going on between a few students and Freya.  I discussed it with both sides separately a little later but with the language barrier it was a little difficult to get to the bottom of.

It seems like Freya might have a problem with running her mouth at times and not thinking about what she is saying.  Maybe a gossip, playing both sides depending on who she is talking to. I’m guessing that she has low social skills and perhaps her background has played a part in this, though I know nothing about that.  It’s just that I feel that she might be more old school Thai than some of the other kids who are more with the times and less provincial.

Also, she may be getting a skewed understanding of how relationships work by live streaming in class sometimes and getting positive feedback on her looks from ‘fans’.

This is all conjecture on my part and I feel sorry for her because she admits to knowing that she has done wrong and bad things in the past but feels like she is being given a further chance.

I told her to talk with Kru Pooky, who I’m not sure is the best person to go to for advice, though she is a little like Freya too.  She seems to struggle with friends in the school and is always posting pictures of herself alone at cafes on Instagram, which feels a bit odd to me as she is (I’m guessing) approaching middle age, though not unattractive.  I can see Freya easily becoming like her in the future.  So, I’m not sure if that makes her a good or bad person to be talking with!

I also told Freya to talk with me later.  I’ve messaged her this evening but not heard back.  As she struggles with depression and being away from family I just hope she doesn’t do anything rash.

Thankfully my last class of grade 8s was a breeze after all that drama as they struggled with reading in front of class but they tried very hard and did very well.  A quick quiz afterwards and we were all able to get away a little earlier.

Today I’m grateful for:

The friendly lady at the cookie shop in Ban Den.  She was nice as Amy and I video called to figure out what to buy for her to take to Udon Thani.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling good listening to my grade 8s reading and having seen them improve over the week.  A few of them still don’t understand what they’re saying but at least they are getting over their fear of talking.  

It’s a good feeling to watch them evolving their skills over time.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I tried supporting Freya as mentioned above.

It was (grade 9) Earn’s birthday today and I delivered her a piece of chocolate cake from Le Paradis, for which she was appreciative, though I asked her to listen to Kru David in her class (for a change!)

I also let Spain, Praew and her friend through into the cafe so that they could sit in the aircon as the gate hadn’t been unlocked yet.