Tag: Zhong Nanhai

谁他妈抽了我的中南海? – 26th February 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

“a parent catching her child with cigarettes and forcing him to smoke the whole pack.”

Despite my father dying of lung cancer when I was a baby, my mother kept smoking for another 15 to 20 years after, then gave up in her early 60s and lived for another 20 years, though she suffered from COPD in the last 5 or so years which restricted her a lot.

I grew used to her smoking though I actually have no real memory of her puffing on a cigarette. Of course it was only natural her naughty son would steal an occasional cigarette, find a way to light it and go off down the end of the garden and practice smoking. I could be an adult too.

It was a great game. Waiting for my mother to leave her packet unattended, gradually sneaking a couple more each time. I was never caught but I’m guessing she knew. When I had upgraded to smoking in my bedroom I would get caught once or twice and my mum just tutted and asked where I got the cigarettes from to which I would guiltily lie. She couldn’t really say much without looking like a hyprocrite.

I also upgraded to stealing my grandfather’s beer which he kept stored in an outdoor shed. I loved the feeling alcohol gave me. I also remember being able to open my gullet so the liquid went straight down without gulping. A talented 13 year old I was becoming.

When my mum gave up smoking I had already started earning my own money and had developed my own addiction. I was proud of her giving up. I still hated myself too much to try. It wasn’t until much later when my son was born that I eventually stopped and that took a huge effort. At that point I was still secretly smoking at work and stuffing down packets of mints so my wife wouldn’t detect it. But eventually I stopped.

I still have dreams about that and sometimes I hit lucidity within the dream and wonder about the fact that I still smoke sometimes. It’s a weird feeling. I really hate the smell of burning cigarettes now and try to avoid going to bars and restaurants where smoking is permitted, something which is still common throughout Asia.

If the Chinese want to make a silent protest towards their government they should surely quit smoking and stop that tax money ending up in the pockets of their leaders! But cigarettes are like a handshake there, a different cultural definition.

Anyways, I was never forced to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes fortunately, though everyone knew the story of some kid that it had been forced upon. Did it ever happen or is it just urban legend?

This is England….

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I could quickly get over an injustice towards me.
I am so happy and grateful that I don’t have to teach today because the students are doing exams.

To-do list

  • Finish death course ✅
  • Read the Bandcamp article ✅
  • Staple exams
  • Write a blog post ✅
  • Practice eye gaze technique ½

A long day stuck in the classroom with nothing to do but read, which was OK, just a little lacking in stimulation. My eyes hurt from looking at the screen so much.

I went to the psychiatrist after school and got new medication. I mentioned to him I had had a difficult emotional event on Monday but after a short period of time I have managed to overcome it. It felt good to tell him about this.

It later got me thinking about how much I trust this person to open up to because I feel a little judgemental towards him as he is from a different culture. Is that fair? Probably not. But it is important to talk to someone you feel comfortable with.

In the evening we went to Nong Nik’s graduation dinner. Amy drank quite a lot and showed a lot of love and affection to her mum. As we drove home though she was very animated about her frustrations with living in Thailand. It’s an ongoing source of concern and I’m not sure how to help. Moving back to Australia isn’t a very realistic option for us at the moment.

I am also not quite happy at the moment either. This could be connected with Kimi’s death which has made me re-evaluate things somewhat. Amy says I can quit school any time and she will go work in Australia. This is a possibility but I still would like to see if I can remain happy at a school and learn to deal with the stupid events better.

Thursday is another easy day of teaching and I will try to enjoy it as much as I can, stay in the present. Remember to breathe, remember you could die tomorrow. Let’s try not to make anyone cry today.

Carsick Cars – Album – 1st September 2008

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cat #: 017TZM

Carsick Cars consists of Shou Wang (22) on vocals, guitar, and loops, Li Qing (23) on percussion, and Li Weisi (22) on bass guitar. The band was formed in March, 2005, when Shou Wang, a student at the Beijing Institute of Technology, met Li Weisi and Li Qing at the rehearsal space of mutual friends. By May they had performed their first concert at a party for a small group of friends and by the end of the year were performing in Beijing clubs. Their first CD was recorded in the spring of 2007 and was produced by legendary P.K.14 frontman Yang Haisong. 

Their sound, influenced by the drone of Velvet Underground, Suicide and Sonic Youth as well as by the textures and structures of Steve Reich and Glenn Branca, is a combination of brilliantly-textured roar and hard open chords that are used to explore and tear apart their beautifully crafted songs. Amidst the explosive noise and feedback it sometimes takes a while to realize how well they write songs, although this has not been lost on the many Beijing musicians who are their fans – Carsick Cars is probably the underground band in China whose songs are most often performed by other local bands. 

As befits what is one of the most admired Chinese underground bands in the world, Carsick Cars has performed widely in China and abroad. They have filled clubs in all the major cities in China and, in August and September of 2007, Sonic Youth, who has called them their favorite band in China, asked Carsick Cars to tour with them in Europe. Following their London show, the band was invited to perform at the Steirischer Herbst Festival in Austria in October 2007, and at All Tomorrow’s Parties in London in May 2008. 

Along with their band, the members of Carsick Cars have been very active in a number of other music projects. Shou Wang is a founding member of experimental duo White, whose first CD was produced by Einstürzende Neubauten founder Blixa Bargeld in Berlin in May 2007. In February 2006 he performed on the recording of Glenn Branca’s Sym- phony 13, and has performed several times with composers Elliott Sharp and Alvin Curran. In July 2007 after performing at a festival in New York he was asked to join These are Powers in the recording of their second CD. Li Qing and Li Weisi are founding members of rock trio Snapline, whose debut album was produced by PiL drummer Martin Atkins for his Invisible Records label. They have both performed with Pigface and as part of White. In addition Li Qing has performed with Elliott Sharp. 

The band has been extensively written up in the Chinese, English, Ger- man, Swedish and American press and has been featured in television shows in the US, Germany, Australia and New Zealand. In September 2007 they were listed by That’s Beijing as one of the top ten bands in China, and Shou Wang was listed in a June 2007, Rolling Stone China article as one of the country’s four most innovative guitarists.