Month: January 2021

There’s nothing that you stole from me that I didn’t give up willingly – 6th January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

My head is already at school and I’m not in the now. Bring it back. My body is in the morning routine and I need to have my head in it too. Practice – pay attention to that meditation.

Onwards to the shower and the rest of the day. Body feels good.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I remember to keep a book in my car so that if I forget my headphones and can’t study in the morning at least I can read a book. Dostoyevsky this morning!

The best thing that happened to me today was putting together some lesson plans that I hope will go well for next year’s classes. I also met a lot of the Primary students this morning and they all still seem to really like me. That made me happy.

I have nearly finished level 4 of Yousician – I’m doing it very badly but once I’ve passed I will go back and practice more. I think I will be on level 4 for a while before I can advance any further. I’m still enjoying playing guitar though.

Sketches for my sweetheart (the drunk) – 5th January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We had a 4-day holiday over the new year. For 2021 I have made a half-hearted resolution to play more video games! Last year I rarely played anything at all. In fact, I have many things I could, can and will do but I thought it was amusing to make a resolution often seen as negative.

So for much of this 4-day holiday, I gave myself a backache by playing new games on my old Xbox One.

An exception to this was the evening of the 31st December where Amy and I enjoyed a spicy hot pot with the last packet of sauce my friend Ellen delivered from China last year (or the year before….when was it!?). We also sipped on yoghurt-flavoured shoju but Amy gave up around 11pm. We had watched the Sydney Harbour fireworks at 8pm and that is when Amy considers the new year to have actually started for us, her heart still being there. I carried on building cities and shooting monsters and was up again pretty early the following morning.

On the Saturday a few of Amy’s friends and I got together at a cafe on the way to Mae Sai. It was busy there but we all ate our fill and lazed around, Amy knocking back a few Heineken’s and getting a little louder as she likes to do.

We decided to visit her old friend from Sydney who has a cactus farm nearby and he kindly gave us a couple for Amy’s collection.

We had to stop at a shop on the way home so that Amy could grab another beer and she organized herself to head on into the city for more food and alcohol! My sweetheart the drunk!

I left her to it but she came back much earlier than I expected, mentioning about some of her friends who insist that good luck only comes from going to the temple – something that particularly rubs Amy the wrong way. Amy believes in herself and all good and bad comes from within. Thai people are still very superstitious and like to put blame and benefit on things outside their control. Obviously, I agree with Amy’s point of view but I don’t let other people’s ideas like this rub me the wrong way, though I also don’t have to listen to them complain about their lives either!

Before this holiday I thought I’d like to do something artistic again and started off with sketching. I have more ideas for continuing this than I have time currently available – it could be a battle between sketching or video games. I hope to balance this effectively. So, I was quite happy and proud of my first sketch – just looking up from my little floor table where I was working.


Brain dump

Post-yoga workout, meditate. Thoughts focus on relationships at school and people’s personalities. Stop comparing, you are you and you are fine – you don’t have to be like George or Dylan or anyone. Being yourself is fine.

Tigger cries in the morning. My middle back aches, work on core. 10 Burpee’s was tough! Getting up was tough.

Little Kim sleeps next to my butt. So much time – enjoy it – use it. Feel good. Feel strong.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my body to struggle through doing 10 burpees this morning. It was slow going but I made it. I must carry on.

The best thing that happened today was to watch a student’s face look happy when knowing that they had learned and remembered how to say a word correctly. This always makes me happy.

We got that attitude! – 4th January 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the few acquaintances I have here in Chiang Rai.

To-do list

  • Work out what you can do for First and JJ as a leaving present ½
  • More drawing
  • Another remix and Ableton learning ½
  • What can I do for Amy?

2020 has been a rough year for most people and I also lost one of my closest friends but in general things have gone very well for me. The sporadic nature of recent entries has shown that I haven’t needed to put down so much of my thoughts onto paper. There was also a dip near the end of the year where I realised that perhaps I should be writing out more as I still struggle to let go of things without this process of writing. Perhaps it is just the way I have learned to do it.

So I hope to get back to this a little more regularly – starting off slowly though – just once a week – aiming for every Monday at the moment.

Damn – reading my entry for this date last year has reminded me how quickly this last 12 months has gone. Also that some things I was guilty of then I am still guilty of now i.e. I’m still a little lazy around the house – I am often just thinking of what I want to do when I get home from work and not thinking much about Amy and what she would like to do.