When love has gone wrong
Run off to dark spaces
Desperately clinging to hope
Remembering those embraces
Butterflied chest and tears
And seething like a viper
In the car for 20 hours
Wearing an adult diaper
A last romantic gesture
To mend your broken heart
May push away with vigour
Forever to be apart
Don’t laugh at their madness
When Eros too was your sniper
At one time or another
We’ve all worn the diaper
Inspired by We Learn Nothing by Tim Kreider, recalling bad reactions to broken hearts
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the preserved cabbage that we got given by the Chinese students who went back to China. It was yummy.
I ended up sleeping at around 7.30 last night and I’m glad I did. Still felt dizzy and tired this morning but my mood picked up after my first class of the day.
Tigger is in the hospital again and Amy and I went to see him at lunchtime. He has some dodgy blood level count which seems to indicate a kidney problem but the vet said we caught it quickly before he had organ failure again.
I’m glad I cancelled teaching yesterday and tomorrow. I’ll have one class tonight after school but like I mentioned yesterday I’m in the right frame of mind as I already have the natural tension from teaching at school.
Perhaps I’ve been working too hard recently but I feel compelled to be doing things. The quote from Ryan Holiday that we are human ‘beings’ and not human ‘doings’ was interesting to me as at this time, with lockdowns and everything, we are not actually ‘being’ as much as we would like. I am always ‘doing’, I never stop doing things, and those things keep me happy. Sometimes I get too focused on some things when I could be doing more, perhaps around the house or in the garden, for example.
Sometimes I wish all my stuff was in the house (as opposed to my man cave outside), especially as I would have my music playing all day long, and would read books on the terrace more. Now I feel like I have to do all my things in my room so it divides everything up into ‘my’ time and ‘other’ time. It’s a first-world problem in a third-world country!
1994ever 