Coy Maids Yield – 23rd November 2021

A peach, not yet ripe, hangs tempting
Soft fur on skin clear and pale
Untouched by the hands of fate
A heart grows older, lamenting
This light will never be the same
When summer arrives, the crow is late
And so shall end this game

The gravity tugs at all the fruits
Suspended like puppets, dancing on the wind
The ripened fall among the flowers
As the strings begin to yield and bend
Gently whispered words that sour
As hungry wolves gather sniffing
In search of fresh fruits to devour

No new ideas found under Newton’s tree
What is gone will bloom again
Forbidden fruits in gardens green
Cherries picked, hummingbird and bee
Seeds spread to await cold rain
The coy maids’ pollen floating free


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that we found a little scratch on Cap’s belly last night so that we could treat it before it might get infected. It was because I love to pet our cats that I usually find scratches and cuts that need attention.


All good things must come to an end? Whilst I’m happily working away, thinking up more and better ways to encourage my students to learn, I got told that the school has received complaints about me from parents. It’s not clear to me exactly what these complaints are yet but giving students assignments to work on when they are not in class (ie online teaching times) was mentioned.

As I think about it I wonder if these complaints are actually not so much about me but about the students, their children. Some are so far behind that they would struggle in even primary classes.

Tomorrow I will talk to Champ and Kru Nu and I will think of questions that I want to ask them. In particular, now, my two questions are what are the specific complaints and what do you want me to do? When I was talking with Champ, I just got the vague response of ‘make the complaints go away.’

I know that George will be shaking his head if he knows about this. He always keeps everything smooth and makes everything as easy as possible for his students. They can cruise through his class. I see the Thai teachers doing this too.

Ah – I’ve written this all here before. I want to push the students, make them curious and interested to learn. Each class has such good students mixed with others who have very poor skills. I prefer to teach to the middle-top rather than be bored with teaching such simple stuff.

But maybe I should change my thinking, have the simple life, make it easy and care less about the outcome for the students. It feels like such a cop out to me. Should I even be a teacher? I’m anxious and confused now. I want to defend myself but I should just try and keep my mouth shut. In the meeting tomorrow I should take notes and just work to what they tell me.

Gah! Even as I’m writing that my head is going ‘but…but…but.’ Do I care too much? I love all these kids, even the poor students. Even the ones who don’t like me.

Along with all this we’ve been trying to sort out Amy’s name change for her Aussie passport and that can of worms continued to grow but now we’ve sorted it out and will have to deal with all the Thai paperwork when she’s back from Australia again. That was stressful and it’s still stressful knowing that we will have to revisit it again in the future.

In another 11 years (or is it 15?) I will be able to get my superannuation from Australia. Where do I want to be? Where will we want to be? Should we sell up and go back now? Could I survive in Australia again? Could I do it without working? Where is the easy life I was searching for?

Haha. I make myself laugh. I’m always telling myself that it is better to suffer in life. To know that you are alive. Life is pain. And that’s ok with me.


The Week That Was – 25th February 1979

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