I let the spiders in through the tiny cracks
Their wicked whispers leave deadly tracks
A background chatter of ropes and pills
Terrible solutions that may cure my ills
I must welcome the birds and breeze
A new wind to put my mind at ease
Open the doors to let the sunshine in
And live life with the shadows the light will bring
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to play badminton with Amy yesterday in the driveway. We had to lock out Tangmo because the day before he chewed on the shuttlecock.
I was looking forward to only having one class today, catching up with a few things, sitting drinking coffee at House but last night Amy told me she will use the car today so I’m sitting in Le Paradis instead (the school cafe). At least it’s a little better in here than in the teacher’s room and I can be pretty much by myself.
I also have to go to see the psychiatrist again this afternoon, just to get more medicine. I’m back down to just 50mg sertraline again for now, which seems to be doing me ok. I’m enjoying 37.5mg tramadol every day and generally that just makes me feel fucking awesome. I’m glad you can just buy over the counter here. It’s addictive but it has a powerful effect and I love it! The sertraline stops me being depressed and the tramadol makes me happy and relaxed. If there are any negative effects from this combination, perhaps it’s worth it!
In my one class today, one of the female students, Kartoon, called me over and she had translated (on her phone) that she wanted to go and change her sanitary napkin. I thought it was cool that she had no fear to share this information without any feeling of shame or fear. Maybe girls are always like this, even when I was their age and, as a boy, I never noticed and, as a boy, I didn’t really understand the concept of periods.
Anyway, I told her that she didn’t need to explain why she needed to go to the bathroom, that I understood girls have different needs than boys and she understood what I was trying to tell her.
1994ever 