Month: November 2022

Make The Call – 10th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s just a call, dial the number
Maybe they won’t pick up
And all will be forgiven

Dial the number, make the call
The click of the pick-up
The heart skips
A new beginning
Nervous

Once words flow though
Out the stories pour
These things kept secret
Now shared experiences
Empathy and sympathy emerge
That won’t be so bad at all

No man can really say that he knows what joy is until he has experienced peace.

Henry Miller

Today I’m feeling:
Satisfied but still tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
My old student Kamboom, who messaged me and we were able to arrange to meet at Sammakhi next Tuesday. I can see from her messages that her English is excellent now. It must be nearly three years since I saw her last time.
The best thing about today was:
Watching Top Boy for a couple of hours and not getting itchy to watch something. I’ve been flicking around Youtube too much so it was nice to submerge into something a little more sustaining
Daily thought
Do you still think you can change the world?
I think we have to think like that. We change the world with the way we interact with others and any of our actions are passed along into the future. Even in a diminished capacity, every little thing we do moves us forward, for both better and worse. The seeds may be sown by a single word. I have to believe we can.
What do you explore on the evenings or weekends?
Evenings and many weekends are usually mental explorations. Otherwise, I like to go for long bike rides and explore tracks, often overgrown and unused. I don’t usually explore much on foot or explore different food and drink places. I’m comfortable with the good places I have found but know its also good to try new places and find other new favourites.

I took this picture because every year I can notice when the sun rises above the stupa on the horizon. It feels like my little Stonehenge although there’s nothing particular about today from where I’m looking out. I wonder where the sun rises above it on solstice days. It’s possible it carries some meaning in that way as quite a lot of cultural events are based around the moon at least.

The Teenage Hand Hold – 9th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We held hands, sweaty palms
But that didn’t stop our walk
We circled the lake three times
Lost in the nonsense of our talk

Nervous about our steps
We never looked at each other’s eyes
We left unsaid many thoughts
For other times to realise

Could this time go on forever?
We’ll live it over until our ends
Remember that time at the lake
When we became best of friends?

Our external searching and perpetual information hunting (and hoarding) are all ways of avoiding an answer disguised as earnestly searching for the answer.

Thomas J Bevan

Today I’m feeling:
am: tired pm: happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Brian Walsby, his art and Manchild books which I’m almost finished reading having owned them for about 10 years already. We seem to have gone through a lot of similar experiences in our formative years. I guess a lot of us into punk in the early 80s all did in some way or other.
The best thing about today was:
Overcoming my tiredness in the morning and ending up really enjoying the day. Classes went well and I felt as if I was really connecting with some of the students.
Daily thought
Are we still the same as our 14-year-old selves?
I think we all carry forward parts of our youthful follies despite wisdom received since but we cannot be the same. Some of that wisdom pays off.
How would you design the city of the future?
Damn, don’t let me do that. I would employ someone who knew what the hell they were doing! This question though reminds me of the ideas of Jacque Fresco who seemed to conceive of better ways for cities to be organised.

I took this picture because it’s nice when Tangmo wants to come and play for a bit. He doesn’t play so much now, he’s not a teenager anymore I suppose.
I’ve been forgetting to look out for photo opportunities these last few days and this one is from a couple of weeks ago.

Child As Philosopher – 8th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Kid, you got a question?
A minor fleeting thought?
Shout it to the crowd
Demand yourself an answer
Revise what you’ve been taught
Thinking aloud allowed

Thinking aloud allowed is a motto at our school. That’s not to say it happens though.

To waste your time in battles not of your choosing is more than just a mistake, it is stupidity of the highest order.

Robert Greene

Today I’m feeling:
Average. Tired.
Today I’m grateful for:
Tangmo coming for a quick visit when I came home. I always enjoy his unconditional interest and acceptance when he’s here. He’s not so needy now and sits patiently outside until he gets bored and goes home.
The best thing about today was:
A quick snooze after coming home at lunchtime where I never got into a deep sleep but enjoyed some lucid dreaming.
Daily thought
Are you lucky?
I don’t believe in luck as such though good fortune may come my way from time to time. So, I may be lucky but it’s just random. I also try to look at many situations as being of good fortune even if they seem otherwise. In this sense then, yes I am lucky.
If you could interview one person from the past, who it would be? Why?
Now my mum has gone I often think about questions I’d like to ask her. I guess I would have lots of questions for my dad too, having no memory of him. I would love to talk to Steve again too. Perhaps this question is supposed to be answered along the lines of proposing someone famous historically. I think the people I am interested in historically hold that place because of what they themselves have already written and left behind as their legacy so there’s not much left for me to ask them. Asking why someone made such and such a decision won’t really change the situation as it is today.
But then as I’m thinking more, perhaps Lee Harvey Oswald. His story never got heard leaving somewhat of a mystery that has fascinated people for the last 60 years. Ultimately though it wouldn’t affect anything really.

I took this picture because this big lizard was making a racket outside the door. I chased him around to the other side of the house where I can still hear him asking for rain.

Twatter – 7th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Smash them in the shitter
Fry their dicks in batter
Friends of Gary Glitter
Fuck ’em, they don’t matter
Freedom, guns and fuck yous
The new intellectual debate
Pretending to be news
In the amphitheatres of late

You must always respect those who struggle, even if they are defeated.

from Burmese Moons by Sophie Ansel

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Trying to engage some of the ‘bad’ girls in my class and able to draw them into enjoying finding solutions or seeing how to think about something in a different way.
The best thing about today was:
Catching up on some things during the three-and-a-half-hour break between classes. Each day of the week has a different schedule that I can utilise in different ways. Mondays will be catch-up days.
Daily thought
Do you rule over yourself?
I try. But there are some things that I don’t wish to give up that just to feel that I do rule over myself. For instance, I take a mix of sertraline, tramadol and kratom which keeps me very well-balanced and in a good state of mind. I understand that it would be preferable to be able to maintain that balance without these things but I’m happy to let them rule over me for now.
What are three things you couldn’t live without?
How to answer this? Air, food, water? Or, really there’s nothing that I couldn’t live without? I enjoy the things I have in my life but if I didn’t have them I could still live. So, I guess I could think of the question like this – what are three things you prefer not to live without. Maybe that’s easy too. Amy, books, music. If I could have four then I would add cats.

I took this picture because on our bike ride on Saturday Bruno and I ended up in Doi Hua Mae Kham and rode around this developing village with freshly laid concrete. The format of the panorama doesn’t show quite how steep the road is or how spectacular the views were (unless you zoom in a little).

Raising The Water – 6th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Burned fresh paths into a new century
Got fat on food and dollar bills
Growth was built upon an enemy
And so those enemies sought new skills
And as stagnation sets the tone
Cooperation re-emerged as the norm
Gathered together they progressed alone
Leaving behind those with poor form

One who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; one who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.

various attributions

Today I’m feeling:
Satisfied and quiet.
Today I’m grateful for:
Discovering a cool new band called Ad Interim as they approached me about putting out some vinyl. It rocks pretty good and I’m keen but unsure how to make it work.
The best thing about today was:
Speaking briefly with Ckin in KL as she is sending me up some of my old stock that Kimi had there. Coincidentally I had heard the Malaysian accent already that morning as two teachers (I guess) were in Utopia. I was hoping to get to KL later this month for Parthiban’s show and to catch up with him and Ckin but I don’t have enough free time.
Daily thought
Do you believe in a higher power? I think the answer is no. I do understand the concept though as it helps people let go of certain bad habits and behaviours. The fact that I am not in control of everything is fine for me. I don’t need to assign that task to a higher power.
If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?
In Thailand, it would be the removal of the lese-majeste law. It is a law that is too easily abused by powerful people. It serves no real purpose except to frighten and scare people. It seems like a backwards way of going about making people support their country.

I took this picture because our cats are hiding themselves away from all the fireworks and explosions for Loy Kratong. It’s unusual to see Kim and Cap in solidarity.

The Fog – 5th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Unable to touch, seems so far away
The lighthouse smashed relentless
The turmoil of storms on display
This fiery cloud is scentless
Securely wrapped in a blanket
Resisting the push and pull
With enlightenment to thank it
Let no self-deception rule

inspired by a Robert Greene piece

Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.

Neil Postman

Today I’m feeling:
Settled and satisfied.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bruno suggesting we ride to Doi Mae Kham which is a place I’d been thinking to go to since 2 years ago. On the map it’s easy to see that is on a piece of land that sticks out into Burma so kinda encourages investigation. In the end though it wasn’t spectacular but a pleasant enough long ride to fill the day.
The best thing about today was:
Finding Kim and Cap hiding next to each in boxes in the walk in. There haven’t been too many fireworks tonight but I think they’ll be hiding in there a lot this coming week.
How do you feel about cold weather?
Cold or hot weather, so long as I can get out of it it’s great. Cold weather in Thailand is relative and it feels great.

I took this picture because the neighbours had a burn off at dusk. It was pretty spectacular. Thankfully the wind was blowing the smoke away from the house.

The Out-Group – 4th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There are no two ways about it
When you’re swimming in the soup
There’s no chance to doubt it
You are in – in the out-group

There can be nothing left to nuance
No greys amongst white and black
Every side gets what it wants
And there’s no turning back

Journalists need experts as badly as experts need journalists.

from Freakonomics

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
Thinking that the power adaptor I had to buy was 1600 baht but turned out to be 1200 baht which made me feel better about still having to spend this large amount of money.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling good being in classes and around my students. They bring me joy and frustration and I love them all. What a privilege to watch these boys and girls slowly adapt themselves as they develop into young men and women.
What relationships have you let go of?
The ones that take up too much of my energy. I know my tribe and who they are or even will be when I meet them. At times I’ve had to make acquaintances outside my tribe but trying to make them into deeper friendships doesn’t work out for me. I choose not to adapt to ways I find dismal and accepted as the norm. And from within my tribe, there are people of all different varieties and those that weren’t of a genuine nature were left behind also.

I took this picture because I went to the weed shop to buy some gummies for tomorrow’s bike ride

The Container – 3rd November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Oil is needed for the container
Good PR from the explainer
Once made, it needs to be filled
Opposition to it must be killed
The container is mandated by God
To surround those found to be odd
If the flow is something not agreed
The container must be seen to succeed
This box is not some piece of Tupperware
It’s a restricting restraining nightmare
Beaten by always holding one’s breath
If not capitulated by finding one’s death
Held inside, the hope and dreams of others
But not to be shared with Bigger Brothers
The container will succumb to decay
As new containers will come into play

If there is no solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it. If there is a solution to the problem then don’t waste time worrying about it.

Dalai Lama

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and fulfilled.
Today I’m grateful for:
One of my students, Rista, came up to me and asked me if I dropped any money as she was holding out a 100 baht note. I hadn’t but she insisted I take it. When I told her it wasn’t mine she refused to take it back and consider the idea of keeping it for herself. Maybe it will bring bad luck or just the fact it’s not hers so she shouldn’t keep it and once it’s passed on she no longer has the burden. Anyway, I bought some yummy ginger fried fish and rice for dinner with it.
The best thing about today was:
Being in the classroom with my students again. It made me feel so happy to be a little part of their lives again.
Where are you visiting soon?
Amy and I were considering a quick trip to Vietnam when she’s back but we decided to visit Pimmy and Fern in Phuket instead. It will be nice to be near water again even if it is such a short time. Amy lives in Drummoyne at the moment and rides the ferry to work every morning. That’s a nice way to go to work.

Khokwan took this picture because she was playing around with a mirror photo app and asked me to look at the camera. Today I was a model teacher with two students as we posed for a photo shoot for some promotional thing or other. We were all a bit bemused as we were asked to look like I was teaching while we all smiled at the camera. Hopefully I’m not made into a 20-foot billboard.

Makes Me Laugh – 2nd November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s difficult to see your point
When you are the one affected
Cos I’m just going to carry on
I choose not to be infected

Your cold hard exterior
Makes me laugh so much
Your two faces finding
There’s things you cannot touch

Hello and good morning to you
I care not your reply
Every day the same
It’s not my business to wonder why

Most people are stupid and lazy and really only concerned with getting through the next couple of hours with silliness and stimulation and something to eat. Be polite.

Katherine Hepburn

Today I’m feeling:
Happy. A little breathless.
Today I’m grateful for:
The printer at work where I finally was able to finish scanning one of the books I use for one of my classes. I was also happily watching the kids outside doing fun and funny activities with older students. It made me realise the different ways kids learn some responsibilities here.
The best thing about today was:
Reading a stack of different comics this evening. I know I do this most evenings but the stories were all particularly enjoyable tonight.
What is your favourite photo of yourself?
Probably the one from Dean’s party the week after Torpedo Town in 1986. I’m standing tall, topless and skinny, pointing at the camera with a cigarette. It was the second time I’d ever taken acid and at this party Emma and I did it together (her first time) and we had a great evening, night and morning. The original photo got sent to an American gay punk fanzine, which I got sent but without the original picture returned. So now I only have this photocopied copy of the picture.

I took this picture because this sequence all happened pretty much in about 60 seconds. Cap was happily by my pillow. Kim came in and sat on the bedhead which I was surprised about as she usually goes straight for play and hence me taking the picture. As I was sending the picture to Amy, Kim had gone into attack mode and I took the second picture. Cap quickly jumped over to the other bed and Kim seemed satisfied with that and nonchalantly returned to her slumber on the bedhead.

Greyskull – 1st November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

With the power of Gyges ring
The possibility to do most anything
What are the morals that you bring?
To darken the world or make it sing?

2nd Nov 2024 – Shared with Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge – Grey

Freedom, a gift wasted on the free.

Alex Dobrenko

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Seeing most of my students again, one month older. Even in that short time, they change quickly. I wonder if I do too.
The best thing about today was:
Happily waiting at the bank to open a new account. It took about an hour to just get seen but after that was easy. The thing is, it never felt like an hour as I was prepared mentally and kept myself busy with my phone and my brain.
What do you love about the month of November?
Right now it’s gotta be the cooler air. So good to almost feel cold. It’s almost time to start putting on a t-shirt. Daytime is still melting but a little less intense.

I took this picture because I just happened to glance outside to see this as I was eating a big bowl of salad. The sun had already gone behind the mountains a good 40 minutes already so this was a bit of a surprise.