A Bigger Prison – 19th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen

Once the walls are escaped
And feet touch on new ground
A new reality ignites to show
That nothing new is found

The banging drum is heard afar
But the beat remains the same
On the horizon new walls to scale
In between remains the game

14th Jan 2026 – Shared with dVerse Poetics

Today I’m feeling:

Positive, almost sincerely happy.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s dad who came to fix the back door. Unfortunately, his definition of fixing didn’t quite match ours and he just nailed two bits of wood not just across the door but across the frame too making it unusable. His reasoning was to leave it like that until Amy gets back to find a replacement door. I still need to use the door though!  But I’m still grateful he came and tried to help.

The best thing about today was:

Hanging out with all the English program students in the morning and having fun with them. 
At one point Kru Mai introduced all the teachers around the room and when it came to me there was a big cheer around the room from my students which made me feel really good.
I also talked a little with the ‘weird’ teacher Ren that I mentioned yesterday and he seems really cool.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t go to sleep until late last night and also woke up during the night so I ended up snoozing my alarm and skipping any workout. That’s ok. I’m still working my way into my daily workday routine and don’t want to push it.

Amy sent this picture because this was the scene one morning a year or two ago. This year no insects (so far) but also no Kim Chi 😢 Amy and I are still feeling sad about this and it is taking us time to get over, I think because we are not together. When Amy is back in July we can fully grieve and heal.

9 thoughts on “A Bigger Prison – 19th May 2023”

  3. Shaun, what kind of insects are those? Reminds me of swarming ants in springtime.

    I read your poem a couple of times. Says a lot about between times. Wondering if Amy’s dad is trying to tell you something?

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    1. I don’t know the name of the insects but they are an expensive delicacy here and our neighbours rush over to collect them to sell at the market. They emerge from the ground once a year, do whatever they do and about ten minutes later are all dead! It’s quite amazing to watch them rising into the air like smoke from a hole in the ground.

      I have no idea what is going on in Amy’s dad’s head – neither does Amy or her mum! He was always fixing things but not always successfully. Their home is a hodgepodge of fixes and new ideas tacked on to old, but at least he tried. My house would be the same if Amy let me loose too. I’d rather pay someone to do a good job (but even that is hard to find in Thailand).

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