In the grip of insecurities
She burned down the beautiful garden
New seeds sprouted with maturity
Reciprocated with a pardon
The weight of regret, too much to bear
One side of the story was hidden
Until this heartache was repaired and
Past indiscretions were forgiven
inspired by the Spinning Visions blog
Today I’m feeling:
Susceptible to minor disruptions. I realise I’m tired this morning after less than 7 hours sleep but I felt pretty good driving to work and was happy to have a little funny conversation with my students Jan and Baipad before driving to House for coffee. At the school exit, I was careful when driving across the busy main road. A traffic cop was standing there and angrily (it probably wasn’t with anger but just clear gesticulation) waved me through even as a big truck was bearing down from the left. Somehow that really made me dark, though I really understood quickly what was happening in my head. I’m still trying to replace the feeling by remembering the interaction with the students instead. It’s not quite working yet. Perhaps this is a job for coffee!
Today I’m grateful for:
My students for really testing me today as I struggled with energy and enthusiasm. A couple of students who didn’t want to read in front of the class I kept back and had them try just for me and I’m proud that they did it. I just want them to get more confident and comfortable so that they test themselves and their abilities. I’m not so fussed about their actual output.
The best thing about today was:
Nothing in particular. Today was a bit of a blur and spent mostly in an above-average happy mood (after the incident in the morning).
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was starting to feel fatigued and exhausted by the time of my last class, who have become comfortable enough with me to try to push my boundaries. For the second half of the lesson, I had them read in front of the class with the rule that if anyone talked the reader would have to start again from the beginning. They soon figured out to be quiet and managed it for about 40 minutes which was good enough to get things done.
I was happy to leave school and looking forward to getting home but then I remembered I had to go shopping too. Still, I managed to push on. I’m ready to drop.
What is a habit I would like to develop?
I think there’s nothing much at the moment. I’ve worked on developing a number of habits over the last three years and my time is too full already. So perhaps the question should be reversed to which habit I might like to inhibit instead. Eating candy? Watching YouTube? I don’t know, really? I think I’m good for the moment.
1994ever 