

Captured above to maintain format.
It’s been several days now
since I sat staring at this empty page;
waiting for the bombs to drop
to erase this void space.
Thinking of those hot days and nights in Rhodes;
thinking how I wasn’t scared of the future then,
wondering why I can’t get back there again;
Thinking how I got to here
and how impossible it feels to leave;
Thinking about the word collectors,
those saviours,
thinking about nouns;
~ How to make good to be better ~
How I would bake bread
in my safe European home;
Thinking why those memories cling
more than the achievements and disappointments since;
I never flew Hurricanes in Greece;
The only huns I fought were toy soldiers
and I always sided with the underdogs and losers;
Coincidence is telling me that it’s time
to start reading Proust;
Hoping for a revelation that will put me straight
and clear the fog…
as the bombs keep dropping all around others,
the blood spills across this empty page;
The word collector erased
throwing his life into the fire.
It’s been several days now.
The poem above was written for the first part of the W3 prompt #163. I was also inspired by Reena’s Xploration Challenge #385 using the phrase ‘word collector’.
The line ‘How I would bake bread in my safe European home’ is a reference to a time when I was about 12 and, with the help of my mother, I started baking bread. As I was obsessed with the Clash at the time I baked some bread rolls that spelled out the letters C-L-A-S-H, ‘Safe European Home’ being a song from their second album.
The line ‘I never flew Hurricanes in Greece’ is a reference to Roald Dahl and his book ‘Going Solo’ about his time as a fighter pilot in WWII. I just finished reading his book today. The mention of Proust is because I will start reading ‘In Search of Lost Time’ soon.
This poem is about not knowing what to write, knowing what to write, knowing what is important and the futility in sharing a few words with a few people.
The second part involves running it through the N+7 machine, where I have taken the following extracts to recompose, revise and make this new poem:

Captured above to maintain format.

I like the original poem very much
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Thanks Sadje 🙏
The original is very much what I was feeling this morning and so I wasn’t really trying to fill it with nouns as the prompt suggests and so the revised edition has ended up quite similar.
I added audio too.
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You’re welcome. I’ll take a listen after my dentist appointment 😅
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There is lovely phrasing in each poem.
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Thanks Kim 🙏
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Shaun – your experimental approach creates something genuinely haunting and original. The N+7 process transforms your contemplative piece into a surreal meditation that captures displacement beautifully. “Empty pain” instead of “empty page” is particularly striking – the machine’s randomness revealed deeper truths about creative struggle. Your willingness to embrace linguistic accident shows real artistic courage and curiosity.
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Cheers Bob 🙏
I appreciate your time to read and comment.
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I like your reference to Proust to set the thinking process straight, though his works are described as ‘intimidating.’ I do understand that his three page long sentence connects to “word collector.”
I tried the N+7 machine, but felt that it mauled my lines completely, so I’ve put it on hold.
Thanks for joining in!
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I didn’t know about the three page long sentences! Now I am intimidated a little too. I have read The Infinite Jest before so I shouldn’t be too scared!
Word collector for me made me think of myself, and presumably other writers, picking up on words and phrases from what we read and to be inspired to write ourselves.
I had to pick through the N+7 results to find words that worked better than others (‘how to make good to be better’)
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I came across this rather long piece on Proust
https://fivebooks.com/best-books/marcel-proust-books-joshua-landy/
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Thanks for that – I’ll have a read. Proust had come to mind as I had just read a Substack article about Swann’s Way too.
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👍
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I really like the change to “daylights now” “empty pain” and “void spoken” 💞Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne 🙏
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I really enjoyed the original, but it’s so fun to see the variation and unique phrasing the N+7 generator produces with each of our poems, too!
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Thanks. I agree. I don’t think N+7 really added much to mine this time.
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Your original poem is wonderful, Shaun. The N+7 has produced some fun phrases for sure!
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Thanks Punam. Perhaps I should’ve found a different poem to work with but I’d just written this and liked it myself, and wanted to get it out to the world.
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This was more than “several delights”! Well done!
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😁 Thank you! 🙏
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