We found that attitude! – 14th July 2020

Quick today – teaching today finally. Brain in gear? Brain in gear – ready to go. Stay with it. Make it fun for the kids.


Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be in the classroom again. It gives me some confidence, I know I can do a good job.

To-do list

  • Compliment everyone you can ½
  • Mantra and blessing ½
  • Keep students happy – teaching is second ✅
  • Smile, laugh, listen first ½

I was very happy today. Possibly a little too exuberant but I couldn’t help myself. I should try to reign it in a little bit though as sometimes I get too comfortable and forget about how I make other people feel.

I only ended up teaching one lesson this morning – and then made a video. Being with the students again made me happy.

Later, as we discussed the schedule I offered to take 2 lessons each from George and Dylan as they are the subject I’m supposed to be teaching anyway. This meant less work for them and more for me but I felt good about that because it means I can monitor the progress of the students easily. I’m also happy to be working in the class more.

Even the bad news that we now have to arrive before 8 am couldn’t get me down today. We’ve had it easy for a long time really – we’ve been very lucky.

We’re gonna carry on for another day – 13th July 2020

Quick pages. Dark and raining, cool and humid. Motivated this morning but teeth hurt. Dream? I know I had them.

Suck in deep breaths. Mini workout – my style – one day I’ll do more. Slowly, slowly is okay.

Busy day ahead? Maybe – let’s see – can face anything now right? You can, you can. Brain blur – meditate.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my new chair so I can relax outside and watch the football. I felt great.

7th Sep 2022 – I was trying to think what this chair was and suddenly remembered. It was a kind of comfy padded folding chair without legs so you could adjust it in many ways. It was good for a while but the arm mechanism soon broke and one drunken evening Amy kept tripping over it and picked it up and threw it into the yard where it broke even further. I think it must still be in my man cave, which is a place I need to visit and make sure has not been fully taken over by spiders and insects and hope that the roof has not leaked with all the rain. About 95% of my CD collection is still in there.

To-do list

  • Compliment two people ½
  • Mantra and blessing ✅
  • Give Dylan positive feedback ✅
  • Be vulnerable – open and helpful to other teachers ✅
  • Record audio for Bruce in the evening

After a fairly relaxing day of making videos and preparing to make more, we finally got asked to teach in the classroom. Actually, I had already gotten a little bored and helped T. First in a couple of lessons already and I found them quite stimulating and fun.

Finally, we get to teach – it’s been so long! I felt good all day and fairly confident about everything.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #47 – 11th July 2020

Music from Brontide, Heroine Sheiks, The Rhythm Devils, Pavement, Inner City Unit, Anti Band, Neighbourhoods, Henry Fiats Open Sore, Estradasphere, Giovanni Venosta, Radio Algeria, RD Burman, Rip Rig and Panic, Idiotbox, The Klezmatics, The Psychedelic Furs and Color Us Cool.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for having time to spend as I wish. Today I will record another podcast, continue with 1994ever and maybe finish reading my book.

We got that attitude! – 10th July 2020

I am so happy and grateful that we are having fun making videos today.

To-do list

  • Finish TCRAH episode tonight ½
  • Compliment someone – anyone! ✅
  • Silent positive wishes and mantra ✅
  • Call Hayden ✅
  • Have fun with making videos ✅

So, as you can see, my routine has got a bit out of whack and I haven’t been writing here as much. But I’m fine with that at the moment. In general, I’m feeling well and happy and have been thinking about thinking a little less and trying to put good habits into practice.

Some days, I still have fears and doubts but mostly everything has been going very well. I have been mostly on the ball during the week and not really doing much on the weekends so I can definitely feel the benefit of the weekly routine but also happy to break with it for the sake of variety.

I’m grateful that I have so many options available that I don’t get too bored. I will continue the practices that I note here until they become more and more ingrained. It’s a struggle but worthwhile.

British boys’ minds in a whirl – 9th July 2020

Painkillers fog my brain – body feels relaxed but thinking gets mega tiring. Have to stay positive. George always positive – even if not inside. He’s too much sometimes – even though he’s right about many things – it puts me off depending on how I’m feeling.

Anyway – exercise this morning kicks me out of my laziness a little. I think I prefer my head to be straighter these days. Things I get to do can only be done when feeling straight. Beep beep – message. Amy crying out in her dream a lot last night.

What am I gonna talk about today? What can I achieve today? What are you thinking? Now or later? Now light sweat, aching thumbs – things begging to be done – but for what end. A sense of achievement? Purpose? Happiness? Trying to stay positive.

Will record some video today. Let’s see how I handle things. Stay positive.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be making videos again today. Sitting around doing nothing at work is ok for a while but gets boring.

To-do list

  • Post last two TCRAH ✅
  • Find more ‘school’ items ✅
  • Compliment someone – anyone! ✅
  • Silent positive wishes and ‘thank you’ mantra ✅
  • Record ‘Golden Age’ for Bruce if at home

There were ants crawlin’ on the floor – 8th July 2020

1990 was 30 years ago! Crazy – I was a young man. Scribble dribble. Lazy but content.

Play video games – was okay but got a little bored. Movies. YouTube – okay but a little bored. No exercise, no writing, no thinking – that was okay. That was good. No thinking – just doing but need to think – keep a clear head.

Sore neck. Stretch it out, massage it. Back to school back to.… Plan some things to do. Use school free time for myself. What’s my new Twitter password? Brain blank – it’ll come… Is my mind this empty? – what’s in here? – foggy blur. Sit and meditate – that password will annoy me for sure.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be back at school. Even though I’m not doing much I started to get bored at home, despite there being lots of things to do there!

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #46 – 6th July 2020

Music from Joanna Gruesome, D.I., Mighty Baby, Univers Zero, Christian Fitness, Neos, XTC, Chokebore, The Necessaries, Electric Light Orchestra, Owen Grey & His Jets, Unwound, Ilaiyaraaja, Bollywood Funk, The Milkshakes, The Pogues, Fotriafa and Groupe El Azhar.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a sleep-in this morning and not to be thinking too much so having a break from journalling and reading.

Too much, double bullseye, too much, do it again – 5th July 2020

A long weekend with two extra days. Though I have been barely working at all this semester, at least this weekend promised not having to attend school and an opportunity to do whatever I wanted.

I had half an idea to get back into playing some video games again but only got around to it on the last day. It was fun but unfulfilling, possibly the spectre of disappointment raised by having to relearn how to play a game again, that I was halfway through and not played for 18 months. I wonder when I’ll give it another go? I wonder if my old Nintendo DS still works after all these years?

On Sunday, the skies were cloudy but the rain had been holding off. It is gonna rain again, right? That can’t be it for rainy season already? Last year it didn’t seem to rain so much and it lead to drought in many parts of the country. We’ve had some big rains and the ground is getting saturated but there’s been nothing really approaching flooding.

Anyway, Amy and I took the opportunity for a quick drive down to Phayao. Amy had an idea to pick up some English muffins and jam from a local farm run by an Aussie and his Thai wife. Well, we didn’t really need much reason. It’s nice to have a break from the regularity of school and home and we haven’t been out much due to the pandemic situation, which, despite having limited impact here so far, is always something to be cautious of.

Amy’s old workmate, Jackie, had also managed to get himself out of Australia recently, having overstayed his visa by a few years already. Now, Jackie is a character, or perhaps even more accurately, a caricature. He can be difficult to talk to, difficult to listen to and difficult to understand. Having not seen him for 3 years or so it would be interesting to hear some of his stories from that elapsed time.

The drive was very pleasant and enjoyable, some fantastic mountain ranges on the right with fresh paddy fields across the plains of the valley. Everything one shade of green or another.

Soon we arrived and met up with Jackie at his friend’s fish restaurant on the lake, where I took the attached panorama. Jackie was exactly as we remembered though looking more like he was hitting his old age than before. He talked loudly and non-stop, mostly polite nonsense but always, always, about money, and he made us laugh with his absurd pronouncements. He paid for everyone’s lunch, despite having little money, insisting that this is the ‘Thai way’ and we will of course reciprocate if he ever comes to visit.

Next, we headed to a coffee shop, also next to the lake. Everything is next to the lake – it is the main feature of the sleepy little town. Jackie told us that the waters are lowering due to the Chinese damming rivers further upstream – a common issue amongst adjacent nations around the world these days. We waited at the cafe for the farmers to deliver our order to us, as they had decided to close the farm to visitors until next year due to the virus.

When they arrived I chatted with the Aussie and Amy chatted with his wife in Thai. Jackie was listening in as they explained about closing the farm and after a few minutes it was time for them to leave. Just as they turned to walk away, and well within earshot, Jackie turned to Amy and said in Thai, something along the lines of “Fucking stupid, why they close the farm, no virus now, fucking open, make money!” Amy shushed him (and told me this story later) and Amy and I discussed driving around the lake before heading home. Jackie said we should and he would leave us for ‘romantic time’. We laughed and then he instantly invited himself along too! He actually hasn’t been here in his hometown for about 20 years so the drive around was all new to him too.

Eventually, we dropped Jackie home and headed back along the highway, shaking our heads at the things Jackie had done and said in the short time we caught up with him. I concluded that we were being punished for something bad in our past lives. Meeting once every three years or so still might be too often.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for getting paid this weekend and being able to order in Lazada!