Tag: Anchan

A Suitcase Of Memories – 13th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Now my head is empty
Were the memories even mine?
I want to go back…
The comfort ahead is too appealing

I want to go back
I desperately want another go
Damn this one-way track
Damn the compelling glow

The first time I heard the seagull’s sigh…

Submitted to No Theme Thursday (and the attached picture)

Today I’m feeling:

Super tired as I definitely didn’t catch up on any missed sleep from Sunday night.  Never mind. I’ll have to try tonight.

I was looking forward to sitting down with some coffee and free time when my grade 9 students called me and asked to move their class from the afternoon to this morning again.

As this kinda suits me too, leaving the afternoon free, I rushed back and we went in search of a free room, ending up in the library.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Kratae for helping out Anchan as much as she can. It may not be much and it may not be enough for Anchan but Kratae is offering some hope at least. I will have to think of something that I can do for her as thanks one day. And I will ask Anchan for suggestions and if she can contribute in some way too.

The best thing about today was:

I felt my health improve a little over the day, especially mentally. Somehow, being at school is picking me up mentally, whilst seemingly running me down physically.

I was particularly energised after my grade 8 class finished at 12.30 but I didn’t leave school for another 45 minutes as various groups of students came to distract me, wanting to chat.

Something I learned today?

After much hassling from my students, I installed Instagram and TikTok and have been trying to work out how they work and if they are even remotely useful for me. 

I still don’t quite get them or how they work. At the end of the day, I just want to use this software to stay in contact with my students in the future.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

As I was contemplating being able to finish early and go home, Anchan messaged me asking to go with her to Nong Kratae’s for the first time today this afternoon.

I guess as I wasn’t due to finish until 4.30 pm anyway, then it’s not a big deal and I’m hanging around at House catching up on reading and writing.  Trying to get my brain back into poem-writing mode after a few days away from writing.

Tonkhaw took this picture because….he was happy to see his teacher hard at work, perhaps?

Jonny Bad – 12th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

‘Low-life’ Jonny is feeling low
Thinking nothing can be fixed
I’d really love to see him grow
And to get his message unmixed

Why does he hate himself so much?
Always putting others down too
Has he got a sensitive touch
That he’s hiding from me and you?

I don’t know why Jonny feels so bad
Maybe he didn’t get the news
That there’s no need to feel so sad
And it’s something he can choose

Written for a contest at AllPoetry.com about Bad Jonny himself.

Today I’m feeling:

A little rough in the stomach this morning but maybe all the chilli last night has blown away my headache and sore throat.

We didn’t get home until 1 am and I woke up at first at my regular wake-up time but slept a little more before forcing myself up.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Cheese and the store-brand vintage cheddar from Makro, which is reasonably priced. I just have to remember that we have it in the fridge because generally, now I don’t have cheese with any meals.

The best thing about today was:

Packing up a bunch of vinyl to send to Nampan from SpeechOdd, hopefully tomorrow. I need to get these records into their hands where they can sell them at shows.

I felt productive at least.

I also managed to get some guitar playing in today, too and noticed a slight improvement.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Takky came over for lunch with Amy, which continued for 7 hours into dinnertime too. Amy said that he is much more himself again after all the stress of his PhD work.

I let them get on with it whilst I was doing my stuff and didn’t hassle Amy to make me food as I had the cheese and her soft, sweet bread rolls to keep me going.

Something I learned today?

I learned a new finger exercise on guitar that I should try and remember and practice often.  You know, along with everything else that I should do!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I donated a copy of the High Voltage/SpeechOdd LP to put on display at Utopia.

I put Anchan in touch with Nong Kratae at the English Place and Champ has also supplied some information that may be useful for her.

I took this picture because the canopy over our entertainment area is evolving into a flowery grotto.

A Breath Of Life – 11th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A 15-year-old girl executed by fascists
Was the superhero in this tale
The revolution was real on the ground
The freedom fight must never fail

No one else came to save the day
A deus ex machina, just an invention
A teenager who trusted herself
Guided by virtuous intention

Real heroes often lose their heads
The blade brings a sudden halt
Left a monument to liberation
Against the brutal fascist assault

Inspired by the story of Liu Hulan who was executed by the KMT (who were supported by the USA)

Today I’m feeling:

Tired and a little out of it. I think that I might get kick-started with some coffee but could just as easily go the other way and nap some more!

(later) I haven’t napped but have had a pretty constant headache.

Health:

Physical: 4
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy for letting me rest a little and watch the Volleyball with Mum and Dad whilst she was preparing all our food for dinner.

The best thing about today was:

After dinner Amy wanted to sing karaoke with Aun and Priyao and so I was left to watch Netflix in the other air-conditioned room and I watched The Wandering Earth, based on Liu Cixin’s novel. 

A cool story but held back by a Hollywood-style screenplay.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My laziness and poor health have kept me out of my room today and lodged in front of the TV with a headache. 

A little of this is in part knowing that we go to Amy’s parents for Mother’s Day this evening and I’m conserving energy for that. And as tomorrow is a holiday I can catch up a little then.

Something I learned today?

I saw Shiso for sale in Makro. I was tempted to buy it and and just eat it there and then!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got a message from Anchan yesterday asking me to tutor her on weekends as she needs to catch up on her language skills to take an exam for a school in Chiang Mai. 

Today she added that she wants to get away from her grandmum here in Chiang Rai as she found out that her mum was sentenced to one and a half years in prison in Myanmar and not six months, which would be up soon.

I can’t tutor on weekends, though. I’m already so tired and today, in particular, really feeling my age. I gave her some ideas but I’m curious about her commitment to pulling herself through.

Vendetta Generation – 25th July 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Voices trembling, yet as one to sing
A collected mind travels the crow road
Where prayers and prophets seek to bring
The moon silk dreams once borrowed

A shatter as the violence worshipped returns
A zigzag missile homes in on the heart
Faced with the darkness, the torment burns
The moon silk dreams soon fall apart

Submitted to The Sunday Whirl Wordle 664 wordlist.

Today I’m feeling:

I woke up with the light before 5 am and knew I wasn’t going to get enough sleep, so I reset my alarm for a little bit later.

Even then, I still felt like I could go back to sleep easily, even after breakfast, driving to school and coffee!

As it was a special event day today, though (Thai Language Day), I soon perked up walking around school and talking with students. There were very few classes going on, so there was a fair amount of excitement in the air.

I cancelled my grade 12 class, giving them a small assignment to do instead and took it easy with the grade 8s in the afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Chatting with students Jee and Pemai this afternoon. It started off with their gossip about Freya and helped me understand their point of view about her behaviour.  More interesting, though, was discussing differences between schools in Thailand and the West and also talking about some of the teachers and other students that they like and admire. 

Something I learned today?

Amy’s mum has shingles on the right side of her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the effects before but it looks really bad and painful. I need to investigate more about it so that I can try and avoid ever having it too!

I took these pictures of Anchan and Jee because they gave speeches in Thai about the importance of education (so they told me) for today’s event.

More Ice Cream – 20th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Can you be persuaded away
By the carrot on the stick?
Caught in the thought of ice cream
And eating until you’re sick
– Surely you need a jumbo serve
– To teach you what you deserve

Submitted to FOWC with Fandango – persuade and RDP Monday – jumbo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again.  The morning has whizzed by thanks to all my students being incredibly well-behaved and attentive today.  I’m a little surprised!  I wish every day was like this.  I actually felt like I was teaching rather than attending.

Today I’m grateful for:

The kids I asked not to come and disrupt my afternoon class today.  I appreciated that though maybe my students didn’t understand so much but it got them more focused and we got enough done.

The best thing about today was:

Those early classes setting up the day for me so that I’m not so tired.  I’m perhaps also getting used to this schedule too.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy suddenly changed plans this morning as she didn’t sleep well but it was nothing that caused any real problem or made me change my plans too much.

Something I learned today?

It’s a possibility that Chad Warner could be lured from Sydney Swans to Freo, as he is from the West Coast originally.  He’s already touted as the best player in the competition.  He’s only 22 or 23 years old.  I hope he doesn’t leave though.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I sent encouraging messages to KanomBang and BB after they paid more attention in class and asked me for help.

I’ve also been sending Anchan encouragement every now and then.  She went to a speaking competition last weekend and was disappointed to come ninth.

I found iPhone, Fahmai and another girl practising dancing and they told me that there will be a competition next week so I wished them luck and hope that I can see them.

Dancing In The Street – 25th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

I used to enjoy the dance of days
Seized each second in many ways
Yet the sunshine never stays
– And here I am contemplating

I’d foxtrot my way through the rains
Tango a message that explains
Until only a rumba remains
– To leave the fat lady waiting

Waited she did until too late
I could not escape this certain fate
And ever since that fatal date
– I walk the streets alone

Thinking of a flamenco strut
Dressed and shaved, hair clean cut
Nowadays I’m anything but
– Can’t even dance on home

Submitted to No Theme Thursday and Ovi Poetry Challenge 49

Today I’m feeling:

My usual Saturday morning tired already.  It’s only been a three-day workweek for me too.

Last night I felt kinda invincible. Throw anything at me and I can do it.

Come the morning and I can feel my brain struggling to connect things together. As I was reading about John Lee Hooker and BB King I was thinking about something else entirely and I can barely remember either.

Quick coffees today as we will take Nong Na out for lunch to thank her for taking care of our cats last weekend.

Today I’m grateful for:

Taking the time to go to the city for lunch, picking up Na on the way.  We got to the hotpot restaurant at 12 and I couldn’t believe that it was 2 pm when we had finished.  Time went so quick and I was very relaxed.

The best thing about today was:

The mix of the hotpot soup that soaked into the rolled-up tofu sheets, then dipped into a peanut and sesame oil sauce with chopped garlic and then a sip of some Chinese milk drink to take off the heat.  Awesome!

The staff were concerned that the soup would be too spicy for me but to be honest I could’ve done with some more Sichuan peppers in there!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As seems to be getting more normal these days, time is out of my control and disappearing faster than I would like.  I sat in my room after lunch and started investigating a cento poem, which required looking through lots of other people’s poetry to pick out lines from.

Doing that and catching up on some other poetry reading evaporated 3 or 4 hours and I didn’t end up coming up with anything for the cento yet.  I still need to collect more before trying to put it together.

Something I learned today?

The USA has threatened the capability to shut down chip manufacturing in Taiwan if China should invade.  The short-sightedness of the threat is incredible as it would mostly affect USA products such as Apple, nVidia etc.

There’s a lot of crazy in the world right now, perhaps I should stop looking.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

We drove to pick up Nong Na this morning as there was a bit of rain around and I drove us to the city and back.  Whilst Amy paid for lunch I paid for the durian bingsu dessert.

I also picked up a couple of 20 baht Japanese toys for Baipad and NamHom whilst at the bingsu shop.

Nong Fah took these pictures because Anchan was sleeping in class like this! I asked her later about it and she told me that Kru Ren doesn’t know anything about teaching and is difficult to understand! The kids are smart enough to know their education sucks but don’t know how to get out of it and the culture here is not to question those seen as above you.

Smooth Sailing – 18th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Love is a lantern in the sky
Taken by the winds of change
Not knowing which way to fly
Along the jet stream strange

Caught in this whirlwind gale
A vortex within your hold
Around you, I smoothly sail
Balanced by the hot and cold

From trade winds, east and west
We made our world distinguished
The Roaring Forties try their best
But this light is not extinguished

Submitted to WDYS #238

Today I’m feeling:

Exhausted so far. Skipped my alarm and slept deeply for another hour. 

It’s the past week catching up, and it only involved two days of teaching! Thursday and Friday are my busy days now so Saturday will be a regular sleep-in I think.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Na coming to stay at our house to take care of Cap and Tig for the next two days for us.

The best thing about today was:

Ending it being in Bangkok again. 

The weird thing is though, it didn’t seem to take much effort or organising (though admittedly Amy was taking care of all the details for this trip). 

I even got a longer-than-expected afternoon nap that Amy woke me from saying ‘We have to leave in 20 minutes!’

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I took some jackfruit to Baipad’s with the intention of giving it to her mum,  hoping that Baipad would still be sleeping but she was in the shop playing with her sister. 

I gave her the fruit and she said ‘I don’t like jackfruit!’ I said that was fine and to give it to her mum, which she did. 

I will talk to her sometime about thinking about something better to say!

Anchan sent me this picture and I’m happy to see her enjoying life. Her friend is my old student Pompam who is a good kid.

Dodging A Bullet – 15th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Never not the same, always
The same, the stubborn stays
Beating chests, off with the shirt!
Myself may be all I hurt

A little bit unusual, quirks
Quietly, and in the corner lurks
Watching, loving the success
At being the worst, being the best

A screw-up, never succeeded
At joining in, as normal receded
Into the dark, I remained on my feet
Offbeat, walking my own street

Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – Offbeat (hence making the phrasing a little off!) and inspired by another entry there from A.M. Moscoso

Today I’m feeling:

A bit better again today, maybe at 85%.  Struggled getting to sleep last night, maybe because I had slept so much the day before, thinking about classes and students and how things slowly change.  I miss all my students in one way or another.

Today I’m grateful for:

Firstly, to the uni students at the PTT station who tried to help me put air in my bike tyres.  Unfortunately, I think I fucked the tube by riding it there in the first place so nothing worked for it.

Secondly, to dependable 100-year-old uncle who replaced the tube for me, jabbering away at me about things, indicating that the tyre on the bike is too small.  I didn’t want to remind him that it was him that put it on there!  He also said that he could replace the starter battery but I told that that would have to wait until next month when I have more money.

Talking of which, the SpeechOdd/High Voltage records are due to be sent to me from the factory in Taiwan and I’m hoping not to get hit with too much customs tax.  I also still have to pay for the cover printing too.

The best thing about today was:

There was a very good atmosphere around the school today for the last day before cracking down to studies.  

Even though I could’ve gone home at 9 am I went to the cafe until midday doing some writing and lessons and then went back to school where I was greeted by students everywhere I went, I guess as I know many different students from grades 8 to 12 now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

It was an ominous sign when arriving home to see two trucks from our internet provider out on the road and sure enough, there’s been no internet at home again since the afternoon.  

Time to read or catch up on other things instead.

Something I learned today?

A jiffy is an actual unit of time, defined as 1/100th of a second.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I met Fui by chance at House this morning and he told me about a school in Bangkok that his son passed the exam to enter so I got the details and passed them onto Anchan.  She would have lots of hurdles to face to pursue this option but at least she can be armed with information.

I complimented Kru Mai on his outrageous shirt today!

What emotions do I feel when I think about my future?

At the moment I feel pretty calm even though the future is uncertain about which direction it may go.  I’m calm because I think I can deal with it whatever happens.

These days I get more stressed and disconsolate when I think about the futures for my students.  I was thinking about this when I was talking to Fui today in connection with Anchan.  A smart kid who knows that she needs to get out from where she is to improve her future but can’t afford to.

When you are struggling to afford new uniforms or lunch day to day, you can’t even consider going to Bangkok to take a free entrance exam for a better school (and think about even cheap fees and cheap accommodation – anything above 0 baht is out of reach.)


I took this screenshot from a video because iPhone called me over to be in the background of her video that she posted on Instagram. She didn’t let me down gently when she said that I won’t become famous!

Endless Teapot – 24th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The bright lights of obscurity
Are following me around
But I’m the one doing it
You’re nowhere to be found

The purpose or the point
Discovered in the doing
And when one thing is done
There’s always more brewing

Submitted to NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Lazy to get up but I’m enjoying the ache in my body from exercise. I’m already reminiscing about the lost time of this holiday despite actually being more productive than last year. I’ve got into the groove of taking it easy and am now feeling anxious about getting busy again in the next couple of weeks. Though I know well that I can deal with it easily enough.

Today I’m grateful for:

A brief small storm at around 7pm that whilst not hanging around for long meant a drop in temperature that even allowed us to turn the aircon off for a while!

The best thing about today was:

Tigger coming for cuddles about 7 or 8 times.  He’s getting more affectionate with his age.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t get a chance to read more of my book today as I ended up busy with other things.  I did get some comic reading in and a chapter from another book that I delve into every now and then.

Something I learned today?

A US senator was complaining that a bag of steel brackets needed for weaponry was costing 90,000 dollars.  A Chinese seller responded offering to sell the same thing for 8 dollars!  And the reality is that US Defence spending from Chinese sources has quadrupled over the last few years.  So the US military is becoming dependent on parts for war with China that are….made in China!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent Anchan a little more money so that she can get back to Chiang Rai as she is stuck in a village outside Chiang Mai at the moment.

I helped Amy moving around some furniture on the terrace as she wanted to change it up.  It looks good and change is good.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Despite the last two days of not enjoying playing guitar I picked it up again for about 20 minutes and was a little happier with my ability.

What are my thoughts on growing older?

In the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed the wisdom that age has brought me but recently, with the feeling of time disappearing too quickly, I’m pining for the days of boredom I used to endure as a teenager.

Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing? I know it’s just the way of looking at it. Perhaps I am bored now but don’t really know it?

It can’t be helped to wonder about being able to live your life over again but now I have to take a positive attitude with me with what remains.

I took this picture yesterday and along with other garden pictures sent them to Sharon and Rob.

A Contender – 23rd April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Breathing life into existence

To many, a home and hearth
How can I put up resistance

Grounded here in the earth?



I hold the rings of truth
Seen the men come and go
One hundred years of youth
And still with more to grow

Taking me in my prime
I could’ve been a contender
Spread wide this shade of mine
In a canopy of splendour

Chop away at my base

Until heard the split and crack

A pole to be in another place

I guess I’m coming back

Submitted to NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again though getting up was a struggle but I did it and made it to my room to exercise. Hopefully, the positive effects of that become apparent to my brain today, or I may just nap!

Today I’m grateful for:

The Mad Muscles app that I downloaded but cancelled because it really isn’t much better than the free app I use.  

As I had paid for a month though, I will keep using it and take that as motivation.  I’ve adapted the exercises to allow for my weaknesses and sore bits too.

The best thing about today was:

Watering the garden in the late afternoon.  The ground is so dry that it’s difficult to even see how just a little bit of water from our hose can make any difference to the bigger trees.

The many mangoes that budded are starting to suffer and shrivel up so I want to try and give that tree more attention. I’m jealous of a couple of small mango trees I saw last week that had loads of healthy fruit.  I want that too!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I sent a couple of tapes to a customer in Australia a couple of weeks back.  They contacted me today saying that they’d received the package but that it was open and empty.

As I had run out of tapes with that order, I asked the bands in Bangkok if they still had copies and asked them to send a replacement which I’m grateful for them doing immediately.  I transferred the cost straight away too.  Sorted.

I had another order to send to the USA and included a second tape as a freebie.  I took it to the post office expecting it to cost about 250 baht ($10AUD) but it was 463 baht!  It’s doubtful I’ll be able to sell much online anymore with shipping prices too expensive now.

Also, I guess what I wrote below applies here too.

Something I learned today?

Sadly, Anchan found out today that her mum will be in prison in six months.

Earlier in the afternoon she asked me to send her some money because she was desperate to contact her mum.  She said she needed 300 baht, along with 200 baht that she had, to be able to talk to her.  I didn’t question this but can imagine it being some kind of backhander needed to make the call.  If she had another use for the money then let it be.

Anchan is pretty sad about the whole situation and it isn’t one that a 14-year-old should be in.

Despite all that, earlier in the day she wanted to contact her program leader at school to make plans to welcome the new grade 7 students at the beginning of the semester.  I put them in contact.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Helping Anchan (see above).

Running Amy around in the stinking heat to get her food.  First to the bingsu shop which was closed (we ended up at a different, disappointing dessert shop).  Then later to get her noodles for dinner.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

I can probably write this every day that I exercise but there was a point this morning where I wanted to give up. I made it through.

I got frustrated with guitar again today.  I did keep going for a little bit longer but not too much.  Never mind.  I did ten minutes I guess.  A little bit every day.

I took this picture because I wanted some photos from around the house to send to Sharon and also Rob.  The frangipani trees seem to revel in the dry heat.