Tag: balance

Same Stones – 20th February 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Through perseverance
Resistance to adversity
Is the thought the death of me?
A symptom of melancholy

Is the place of setting down
The same place that I began
The rocks remain the same
Yet I feel a different man

A picture in sepia tone
Each life adding to the play
To improve or enjoy
How shall I plan the day?

Waking to the sunlit welcome
Why the yearning for old home?
The journey wasn’t just mine
Until I found myself alone

Inspired by this quote from Daniel Z. Lieberman, on balancing ambition and contentment.
“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”

Endless Summers – 25th October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The endless summer must end
Towards the golden autumn bend
Those long lazy days are sweet
Becoming tedious without retreat

Permanent vacations missing
Excitements of first-time kissing
Anxious to be happy, here and now
Only the winter’s balance allow

So the endless summer ends
Wrapped up tight with fellow friends
Nostalgic and happy to reminisce
Awaiting next year’s sunlit kiss

Inspired by this poetic post at Spinning Visions

The Long Way Around – 5th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

There are things you should and shouldn’t do
No matter what you want
Then there are things you don’t want to do
That you don’t wish to flaunt

On the other side of our innocence
Character is constructed
No longer sailing through green lights
The way ahead obstructed

Things are one way until they’re not
Are you willing to accept?
The challenges being laid down for you
Are creating self-respect

Those broken shards poking at your feet
Makes the path ahead seem longer
But taking responsibility for your life
Makes the foundations stronger

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Flat and down.  I have no classes today as the kids will study online and no one has asked us farang teachers to do that.  I still had to come to school to sign in though and now sitting at House, reading and writing.

I’m reading about resilience as I plan to teach about it in the future and I’m doing my best to keep myself up but the uncertainty at home has me rattled.  I know that I have to do some things to improve the situation.  

Reading about resilience this morning made me consider that I am very good at the world view, dealing with big generalities but not so good at the one-on-one and personal.  I need to make some changes.

Today I’m grateful for:

There being no kids at school today, just a few kicking around doing various sports, allowing me free time, in the morning to read and write and in the afternoon to run around sorting things out (see below).

The best thing about today was:

Getting both our bike and car tax sorted out quickly and easily today.  Different to last year, we got up to the drive-through booth and I handed both sets of paperwork and the lady there didn’t say we had to do one and leave and come back to do the other like last time but she did say that we had to pay cash (not scan) for the motorbike one.  Neither of us had any cash so I told Amy I would come back and do it later.

Anyway, after doing the car tax and paying off my four speeding fines the lady then proceeded to do the motorbike one and said we could scan!  What was that about?  Well, never mind – we got it all done, quick and easy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As we were driving to the transport office I got a call from FedEx about the shipment of records from Taiwan and found out the customs tax on them is 3500 baht!

Thinking that I maybe had a bunch of other speeding tickets to pay, maybe up to 10 I was seeing my money disappear rapidly.  I only got paid yesterday and already more than 10,000 has gone already!

Anyway, what can I do?  If I don’t pay they will get sent back and I’d lose a shit ton more money.  I don’t think I’ll be doing much vinyl anymore.

Something I learned today?

I read up about Charon’s Obol and wrote a poem that references it.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged for a little while with Aida and she told me about how her mum has been beating her since she was little.

She said that her dad left before she was born and I’m guessing that her mum has a lot of unresolved issues.  I don’t get how parents can beat their children though.  It’s wrong.

How do I feel about the year so far?

The year is the year, things have happened, mostly good, some bad and stressful.  

Right now I’m not feeling particularly positive but I feel certain that is just my brain focusing on the negative more than all the good things that are in my life.  

And the past is the past.  What next, what now?

Life Interrupted – 3rd April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Let me interrupt your party
Lately, you’ve not felt so well
A niggle, an ache, a groan
A faint, a fall, a dizzy spell

Within your home I duplicate
It’s my standard procedure
Silently waiting ’til I’m ready
And enforce a shutdown seizure

I’ve come to stake a claim
For which you have no answer
I think you know my name
…

Submitted to FOWC with Fandango — Interrupt and NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

Like time is running away too fast.  I should not waste what I have been given.  But is any of it worthwhile?  Well, it has to be.  I convince myself.

Today I’m grateful for:

The man at the bottle shop who put the tray of soda water onto the back seat of the truck for me.

The best thing about today was:

Taking Baipad and her neighbour Butter (another one, a boy this time, though quite effeminate) up to the University to teach them to ride a motorbike.  

Baipad struggled but Butter picked it up quickly.  It was only after talking with them both a little more I discovered that Butter had learned how to ride a pushbike but Baipad never did.  Butter still has a bike so I told Baipad to practice on that as soon as possible.  Better she falls off that than a motorbike.  

After a few more goes Baipad improved every time but she needs to practice more to get her balance worked out.

Something I learned today?

The current Zionist-enforced famine in Gaza is the highest number of people ever recorded as facing catastrophic hunger.  Worse than Darfur, Somalia and Yemen.  

Israel teaching the world how to genocide.  The irony?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I fixed the hose with the new connector that Amy picked up.  Works perfectly again.

Teaching riding a motorbike to a couple of 15-year-olds.

What’s one thing I can simplify?

I have simplified a lot over the last few years.  As my main focus now is teaching I think that I could simplify my classes for my students, though more importantly for myself.  

Sometimes I overestimate the ability of my students and with the usual disparity of skill levels in a single classroom it is a delicate balance to try and keep everyone happy.

I took this picture because one day these kids will look back and remember when they didn’t know how to ride a bike.

Dig In – 27th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The roots have grown
The longer you stay
The harder it is to leave

Now time has shown
That along the way
You’ve found what you believe

The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor.

Voltaire

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and lazy
Today I’m grateful for:
The fisherman who caught the prawns I ate, somewhere far away. Shipped them to shore, then the factory workers who prepared them and packaged them and the drivers who delivered them.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying ice cream and snacks after a weed gummy. It’s hard to stop eating!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I could tell Amy was getting a little irritable around lunch time so I just laughed and joked a little and not getting sucked into an argument over nothing. She quickly lightened up and everything was normal again. These situations can quickly go out of control when I don’t handle them well.
In what ways have you observed balance in nature or in the universe?
Looking at mountains, staring at the sea. I see balance in nature when there are no humans around and I become a ghost, an observer but only as a memory. Looking up at the stars and the moon, being grateful for this very specific role I have been given.

I took this picture because Jet made this nice drawing of me and my nice shirt! This picture is a throwback to a couple of weeks ago. No pictures again today!

Twatter – 7th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Smash them in the shitter
Fry their dicks in batter
Friends of Gary Glitter
Fuck ’em, they don’t matter
Freedom, guns and fuck yous
The new intellectual debate
Pretending to be news
In the amphitheatres of late

You must always respect those who struggle, even if they are defeated.

from Burmese Moons by Sophie Ansel

Today I’m feeling:
Happy
Today I’m grateful for:
Trying to engage some of the ‘bad’ girls in my class and able to draw them into enjoying finding solutions or seeing how to think about something in a different way.
The best thing about today was:
Catching up on some things during the three-and-a-half-hour break between classes. Each day of the week has a different schedule that I can utilise in different ways. Mondays will be catch-up days.
Daily thought
Do you rule over yourself?
I try. But there are some things that I don’t wish to give up that just to feel that I do rule over myself. For instance, I take a mix of sertraline, tramadol and kratom which keeps me very well-balanced and in a good state of mind. I understand that it would be preferable to be able to maintain that balance without these things but I’m happy to let them rule over me for now.
What are three things you couldn’t live without?
How to answer this? Air, food, water? Or, really there’s nothing that I couldn’t live without? I enjoy the things I have in my life but if I didn’t have them I could still live. So, I guess I could think of the question like this – what are three things you prefer not to live without. Maybe that’s easy too. Amy, books, music. If I could have four then I would add cats.

I took this picture because on our bike ride on Saturday Bruno and I ended up in Doi Hua Mae Kham and rode around this developing village with freshly laid concrete. The format of the panorama doesn’t show quite how steep the road is or how spectacular the views were (unless you zoom in a little).

Check and Balance – 21st August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

We found the gold, inspired by dreams
Furious labour generated the means
No stone unturned, nothing it seems
– Left resting on laurels waiting

On the other side of the rainbow where
Further riches found to those who dare
Turn off your taps from which to share
– Numbers ever bigger accumulating

Now standing alone on an empty shore
The sun is setting, there’s nothing more
Was it all worth the fighting for?
– To watch accounts ever-inflating

For all your atoms the gods reclaim
There’s no longer a use for your name
The prince and the pauper – all the same
– The imbalance of our own creating

Some inspiring lines from ‘Abe – Wrong for all the Right Reasons’ by Glenn Dakin
13th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Wednesday Challenge – Chemistry

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the crispy peanut brittle I bought yesterday and ate today. It reminded me of my mum who used to love getting it when her teeth were still good. I hope my teeth can hang in there!

After wearing a neck support, which has been helping, I woke up today worse than ever. Actually, I woke up fine, but then twisted wrong and now struggle to look to the left. But in good news, my lower back is feeling a bit better now.

Yesterday was an odd one as we ran around with my visa application. I had to cancel one of my classes cos I was still stuck at Immigration, and then I discovered that my 90-day check-in wasn’t renewed with my latest visa, which I had assumed it would be, so I got fined for not doing it in time. That pissed me off so I cancelled my other class for the day and came home and happily dozed while listening to music instead. It was sweet bliss!

The Balance – 25th July 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

The less ideas you get, the more friends you’ll have
But the more friends you have, the more ideas you’ll get
This is a strange dilemma for me to deal with
And I haven’t found the best way to balance it yet

The first line is lifted from the ‘Abe – Wrong for the Right Reasons’ by Glenn Dakin

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I didn’t fall off the roof of the garage yesterday as I tried to repair our leaky drain. It was ok on the roof but a little dicey getting on and off the step ladder.

Lazy dull grey-skyed Sunday, morning spent with coffee and book, blogging this week’s poems and continuing the DVD ripping. After pizza lunch it’s Netflix time, watching The Lost Kingdom, which reminds me of the foolishness of belief in god, king and country. I seem to be a proud heathen though with, hopefully, a better moral compass than the Vikings.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #26 – 22nd February 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from Magma, Sir Millard Mulch, Big Grump, Chemicals Made From Dirt, Vulk, El Rass, Les Baxter, Converge, Pile, Djang San, Honeymoon Killers, Monkees, The Misunderstood, Half Man Half Biscuit, Bondage Fruit, Moving Targets, 2227.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and thankful to George and Bee to be good friends we have made in Chiang Rai.

Those who don’t pay attention to their own thoughts and know their own minds are bound to be unfulfilled in life.

Donald Robertson

To-do list

  • Contemplate your death ½
  • Upload and record TCRAH ✅
  • Enjoy teaching today (stay in the moment) ½
  • WDS spreadsheet
  • Card for Tian ✅

My belly was giving me trouble today due to the chilli and alcohol mix last night. Despite that, the day passed happily enough. I even managed to ‘meditate’ for 30 minutes. I put the word in quotes as I wasn’t fully able to calm my mind, though I did relax and feel better after it.

In the morning I was quite tense but I think it was the effect of the coffee. Usually, I’m ok but not this morning.

I struggled through making another TCRAH episode but I persevered and did it. I was quite happy with myself.

I did, at various times during the day, remind myself that I may die at any time and I felt a strange feeling in my chest that focused me back in the moment. However, it merely reminded me of all the many things I want to get sorted in my room and I soon started back on that.

Tomorrow I will go and play basketball with Bruno. I hope that it will give me an opportunity for discussion about our views on life and maybe offer each other advice on our lives. Bruno is an emotional Italian and can get overexcited about things. He reminds me of me sometimes.

Whilst hanging with George gives me a positive energy boost he can also be somewhat relentless. Bruno may be a little in the negative direction and it’s not the way I prefer to go. However, it will remind me that the world is about balance.

Undreaded courage all the time – 11th October 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Two minds. Thinking mind and observing mind. Separate them, recognise negative emotions, own them and let them go!

My situation: about to start a new job which may have some of the problems of the previous ones. What advice would you give to someone in this situation?

Even as I write this I can see that my worry is about something that hasn’t happened. I don’t need to think about things in this way. I think I understand how I could have coped better in my previous situation so I should be able to deal with them in the event that they do happen again. Prepare and plan carefully to do the job as best you can but do not invest so much time and effort that it completely overrides everything else.

Balance!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful this morning for having this space to sit in, the coffee I am drinking and the sun and rain for making our trees grow. I will grow with them.