Tag: Bernice

*Schedule – 4th February 1985

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Everything in order
Everything on time
Such a perfect thing
This wonderful life of mine

I’m on schedule
I looked at my schedule

Don’t know when I’ll die
I haven’t planned it yet
But I’ll tell everyone
So they don’t get upset

I’m on schedule
I looked at my schedule

The Week That Was

Record of the week: Flux of Pink Indians – Punk Sucks

4th February 1985
Started work in the warehouse. Quite a good laugh but fuckin’ knackering. Went down Gaunts after. Chased Perry, Burt and Muz around Gaunts cos they wanted me to. Talked for a while. Came back. Fuckin’ fell asleep. Kinky dream about Lisa.
7

5th February 1985
Fuckin’ had hundreds of fuckin’ deliveries. 20 pallets of Carcases, 2 orders of Key Terrain. We didn’t have time to do it all. Had a good laugh around Gaunts. Maybe do Stumps t-shirts, have an initiation. Talked to Muz for a while.
8

6th February 1985
Pissed around on the bus in the morning. Fucked around in college. Got bus back. Wayne was on there. Had a good laugh. Got school bus. Good laugh again. Fixed drums. Got 11 people in phone box down YC. Pissed around down there.
8

7th February 1985
Don’t remember much about today. Don’t think we had a lot to do at work. Big Brian was doing the bulk lorry – he’s a cunt. Muz wasn’t coming out so stayed in. Quite a few things on telly. Something about some bikers which was OK.
5

8th February 1985
Still not a lot to do at work. Planned to leaflet the Void gig and not do a poster cos it doesn’t photocopy very well. Came home. Pissed around as usual. Went down YC – wasn’t very interesting. I think they’ve sussed out that we fiddle the pool table. Couldn’t stay awake to watch the film
6

9th February 1985
Went to Wimborne. Met Bernice. Went for pizza with Fog and Maggie. Came home. Pissed around on drums. Went down Gaunts. Sharon was there so we pissed her off. Went to Bernice’s at 7. Caught bus to Bournemouth. Went to gig. Atrox played pretty well. Then fuckin’ Bad Noise were fuckin’ around. During Disorder a couple fo fights started. Taff electrocuted himself. Got bus back.
5

10th February 1985
Can’t remember a lot about what happened today. It was fuckin’ cold. I went down Gaunts. Came back. Went back. Pissed around at the woods behind Murray’s. Dean was even there. First time for fuckin’ ages. Didn’t go out tonight cos it was too cold. Spitting Image was OK.
6

The Week That Was – 30th July 1984

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30th July 1984
Went to Wimborne. Me and Jim pissed around for a while. All had a pizza. Bern’s sister got caught smoking by her mother.

31st July 1984
Pissed off. Had a pizza in town. Got bored around town. Went to James’s, watched the Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle.

1st August 1984
Even more pissed off. Had a laugh in Gaunt’s tonight.

5th Oct 2023 – Whatever it was that was pissing me off put an end to writing my diary for a few weeks. It’s hilarious that the entry above pivots from ‘pissed off’ to ‘had a laugh’. The life of a teenager.

*The Week That Was –25th June 1984

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Records of the week: Conflict – 1st side of Increase The Pressure, Minor Threat – Eps 12″, Major Accident – Massacred Melodies LP, Black Flag – Three Nights

25th June 1984
Got up and stayed in my room most of the day. Zoe rang in the morning. Got petrol in the afternoon. Watched telly most of the time. Rung Jez. Had a game of snooker which I won. Came back – watched Scully then went down track. Muz is giving me bullshit. I went to James. Had a chat with him and Greg. Watched Hill Street Blues.

26th June 1984
Got up late. Watched telly most likely. I haven’t been keeping up with the diary so I can’t remember everything. I think I went down to the track. Mum’s been going on about me getting a job. Getting really pissed off with her. Watched telly in the evening. Mum has found me some jobs to do tomorrow around the house. I’m pissed off. Watching the stars.

27th June 1984
Got up late again. Cleaned out the yard. Did the bricks. Fuckin’ pissed off. I keep playing Three Nights by Black Flag. Sieved elderflower. Had tea. Went down track. Pissed around. Built freestyle jump which is pretty good. Came back. Went to sleep. Working at Sharon’s tomorrow.

28th June 1984
Mum woke me up at 9. Rung Sharon. Went over. Cleaned windows. Went to Poole with Sharon. Then to Bournemouth and back to Poole again. Then back. Cleaned garage doors and racked up grass. (?) so came back. Had tea. Went down track. Went to James. He gave me money to get a video tomorrow. Went to (???). Came back with her.

29th June 1984
Went to Wimborne. Got videos. Went to Sharon’s. Did wallpapering all day. Got £4.50. Came back. Went down track.. Burd came down. He went to Wimborne. Went to James. Got wrong type of video so went back and changed it. Came back. Poltergeist – was ok in places. Pretty daft story though. Came back at 1 and went to sleep.

30th June 1984
Got up at 9. Went to Bernice’s. Got bus down to Bournemouth. Bern bought some shoes and dress. I got some records. Both Christian Death LPs are there. Saw plenty of people. Ran out of money so came back. I came home. Went down track. No one there. Went to James’s and had a chat with everyone. Came back. Watched telly for the rest of the night.

1st July 1984
Woke up at 9. Couldn’t sleep because of stomach upset. Took aspirin and went back to sleep. Didn’t get up til 1.30. Took dog. Went down track. Digging it all up. Everyone’s getting on each other’s nerves. Came back. Went back down again. I got my light smashed. Me and Murray are thinking of setting up a delivery service. Went to sleep.

*The Week That Was –18th June 1984

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Record of the week: Pregnant Combine Harvesters – Bells tape (fuckin’ amazing), The Blood – Parasite In Paradise (ace guitar riff)

18th June 1984
Got up at about 11. Pissed around for a while. Rung Jez. Went to Gaunts. Saw Muz and Graeme. They went to Stanbridge. Got the paper. Went to Hinton Martell. Met Jez there. Wheeled Greg’s Maico back to my place. Went to Houldey’s – no one there. Cut through fields to Hinton Martell. Stayed there and talked to Greg and James til 12. Greg says he’ll buy my pushbike for twenty quid.

19th June 1984
Got up at 11 again. Went to Wimborne. Met Bernice. Hung around for Jim. Got some booze, which we slurped. Jim went on to get some food. Bern went on. So did I. Got some food. Rung Vince up. Meet him tomorrow. Went down Gaunts. Had a dirt and sticks fight (at the track). Came back. Watched Young Ones. Saved a shrew from the cat’s jaws. Boring otherwise.

20th June 1984
Got up at usual time. I think. Pissed around for a while. Went to Wimborne. Met Vince. Told him how to get to my place. He went. Jim came out for lunch. Talked to Ian Bryant for a while. Came back. Went down Gaunts after tea. Had another dirt and sticks fight. Went back to Gaunts and pissed around with water. Came back, blah etc blah

21st June 1984
Woke up. Waited and waited. Burd came round, he spilt my (?). Vince came round. We went to Dominic’s. Bastard wasn’t there. His mum let us practice though. Dominic was supposed to be back at 6 but didn’t show til 7.10. We did our SDC song. Had to go at 7.30. Mum brought us back. Vince went on. We listened to our tape for a while. I went down track – no one there. Went to James’. Had a chat – came back.

22nd June 1984
Can’t remember a lot. Didn’t do much though. Jez was in school – his last day. Went to Jez’s later. He got his bike, we went to Ben’s after Jez got some booze from the club. Didn’t get pissed unfortunately. Went to Roo’s to get Jez’s record – his mother was in a good mood. Went back. Had some toast. Watched telly. I came home. Don’t know what I did.

23rd June 1984
Woke up and did fuck all. Rung Jez. He was getting his hair cut. He came over. Tried to get Maico on the road. Couldn’t. We went down track. Then to Wimborne. Met Elford. They went to chippies. I came back. They came over and went on. Jez came over. We went to Wimborne. We lost each other. I went to Bernice’s. Then up to Colehill. Met Liz. Found Jez. Went to (?). Piss boring. Jez was trying to be cool now he’s got a bike so I pissed off home.

24th June 1984
Jez came over. We went to Jim’s. Caught the bus to Bournemouth. Saw a bit of all right on there. Found Zoe and Sharon. Found an off-license and got booze. Farted around all day in the graveyard. Jim was really pissed. Zoe and Sharon got bus back. We went to Winton. No gig, we got the wrong date. Jim’s old man picked us up. I came back and watched telly the rest of the night.

*The Week That Was – 21st May 1984

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Record of the week: Confessions of Sin – Confession, Self Abuse – Loose, PCH – (This is not) Call The Cops
Record of the month – Subhumans LP, Confessions of Sin (live)

21st May 1984
Was going to start The Scar last night but started it today instead. Read half of it then watched film – which was ok. Had a bath. Then went to Houldey’s. They were setting up their new suite. Came back. Rang Paul. Talked for a while. Found out Zoe rang, said she’d ring again tomorrow. Watched Hill Street Blues. Read some more then went to sleep.

22nd May 1984
Decided not to go to school. When I woke up I started reading book. Finished it at 4 o’clock. It was a good book. Haven’t been doing anything otherwise. Went to Houldey’s. Found out Kathryn will go out with me when she’s finished with whoever. Zoe rang and apologised for Saturday. Dunno what else I did. Drew In Execlsis on my wall. Went to sleep.

23rd May 1984
Woke up early for some reason. Jez came round at about 10. Jim came at 10.30. Drew things on wall. Decided to do some PCH. Went to Houldey’s. Only Beki was there. I came back and got some sugar. Took our tape back and played it. Came back and did some more PCH. Came in. Jim and Jez went. I went to Houdley’s. Went to get some petrol. Came back. Came back. Went to Jez’s. Had a shit game of snooker. JC was there – cunt. Went to Ben’s. Went to a barn (?) on my bike. Came back. Spurs won UEFA Cup on penalties. Film was shit.

24th May 1984
Woke up about 10.30. Took dog. Went to Wimborne. Saw Liz eh. Got haircut. Bought some paints and gel. Came back. Went to Houldey’s. Had a chat with Beki. Came back. Wrote some of book. Didn’t do fuck all. Went to Jez’s. We went to Ben’s, spent ages trying to find him. He was with Harrison. Recorded tape to tape – stuff for Crass. We left at 10. I got back at 10.30. Dunno what I did but it must’ve been good.

25th May 1984
Woke up. Got letter from Zoe. Photos returned – so I decided to take them back to Bernice. Went to Wimborne – she weren’t home. Went round town. Saw a few old faces but not Bernice. Went to Jim’s. They’d just left to go to Poole. Left photos at Jim’s. Came home. Went to Jez’s to get money he owed me. Went to Houldey’s. Good news. Kathryn will go out with me. I think I was supposed to ring her but I’m not sure. Came home. Rang Paul and Andy. There’s a gig tomorrow at the squat but I can’t go. Went to sleep.

26th May 1984
Woke up. Watched TV. Was going to go to Wimborne but couldn’t be fucked – too wet. Got petrol and paper. Finished another book – Tarotown. Watched England V Scotland (1-1). Started Beast on my wall. Went to Houdley’s, no one there apart from Mr. H. Came back. Started painting the Beast’s head. Finished at about 11.20 – looks fuckin’s superb. Pissed off cos I can’t get Kathryn’s phone number. Watched film – Harry In Your Pocket – good.

27th May 1984
Woke up 12.10. Did fuck all. Had a bath. (?) went to get cat for Lorna. Stewart gave my mum a fiver – I had £2. Ben came over. His mum took us to Jim’s. Jum’s old man took us down to Winton. Pissed around for an hour. Got tickets off Andy. Cinema was a pit. Takano – ok. COF – fuckin’ brilliant. Self Abuse – brilliant. Got chucked out of a pub. Mum collected us. Took Jim back. Ben stayed the night.

*The Week That Was – 30th April 1984

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Records of the week: Birthday Party – Mutiny, anything by the Faith, Subhumans – Cradle To The Grave

30th April 1984
Managed to get up in time. Was doing Art exam all day. Turned out all right. Lunch – had a chat with Bernice cos her and Jim ain’t getting on too well. Flash in the pan. Put strobe back in the morning. Went down track. Jasper made a new bit. Paul Miller came down. Came back – did fuckin’ ace pic on wall.

1st May 1984
Fuck knows how I woke up today. Pissed around in the library in the morning. Did English literature exam. Don’t know if I’ve done well though. Thought I’d get letter but didn’t. Went to Burd’s. Went to club. Had a decent game of snooker. Came back.

2nd May 1984
I did it again. Fuckin’ got bored in the library. Nearly everyone was doing History. Clements had a laugh with me and Mini. Afternoon did typing exam – don’t think I’ve done too well. Showing photos around to everyone. Went to Burds. Went to Houldey’s. Shit(?) Martin up. Going to watch Love At First Bite.

3rd May 1984
Get to school. Fucking Maths exam was fucking bloody hard. Don’t reckon I done well. Pissed around at lunchtime. Went up the library. Got bored up there. Fuckin’ shit(?) teachers. Went to English. 4 people were there. Went to Burd’s. Rung Zoe there. Went to club, had a decent game of snooker. Went to BMX track. There’s a swing down there now. Went to Houldey’s. Made coffee for Beki. Muz left his bike there. HaHa. Drawn rose(?) on the wall.

4th May 1984
Got to school, did Maths – was easier than yesterday. Afternoon – went to Art for a laugh – did put(?) thing. Went to library but got bored after two minutes and went back to Art. Doubled up on bus, went to Jeremy’s, was supposed to stay but came back. Rung Zoe and had a chat. Watched telly. Went to sleep.

5th May 1984
Got up. Went to Poole. Bought Subhumans and Birthday Party. Still no BF. Got bored. Came back. Saw Simon in Wimborne so got off the bus. He was pissed off because he forgot to sign on. Came back. Pissed around on moped. Zoe rang. Had a depressing chat. Went down track then up to Houldey’s where Dandy was flashing her beautiful legs. Blah Blah Blah. Went to sleep.

6th May 1984
Woke up. Took dog. Had food. All the usual shit. Went down track, bust moped up. Went to Houldey’s. Told Beki and Dandy about Jamie smoking etc. Beki getting in a right strop. Watched Sugarland Express. Went to sleep.

*The Week That Was – 16th April 1984

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Record of the week: Ian Dury – Sweet Gene Vincent, The Mob – Let The Tribe Increase LP, Self Abuse – Soldier, Sex Gang Children – Mauritia Mayer

16th April 1984
Couldn’t get to sleep. Only about 3 hours. Mum had a laugh at us sleeping together, stayed in bed with Zoe most of the day. We went to Wimborne and both spent her money. Met Jim who was looking for Bernice. Came back on bus. Zoe didn’t feel too well. Got back into bed. Jim came round. Took some photos. Sat and talked. Me and Zoe got up to things while Jim was singing the Jam. Still couldn’t get to sleep. Eventually did.

17th April 1984
Got 7 hours sleep. Mum came up to wake us up. Huh. Got up. Burd came round. Did some songs with drums. Rupe came along. Took some photos. Jim went. Came back in. Did this and that. Jim came back. Muz came round. Me and Zoe went into other bedroom. Them lot came in doing moonies. Zoe weren’t feeling too well again. Went down the rubbish dump – ‘ad a laugh. All sorts happened – some too rude to mention. Put on DOA.

18th April 1984
Got 4 hours sleep. Woke up Rupe. Watched breakfast TV. Woke Jim and Burd up who slept in the other room. Went out, took some photos. Took Zoe down to Bournemouth. She got on bus. Went back to Wimborne. Met Jim, Burd and Rupe. Jim went on. We went to Dan’s. Bernice ill. Met Jim again. Went to Dan’s. Went round Wimborne. Met this girl who fancied Roo. Hung a tampon on a tree. Pissed around (?) Rupert to this girl. Came back on bus. Really missing Zoe. Still got a buzz from the last couple of days. Had a chat to Zoe on the phone – both unhappy.

19th April 1984
Woke up 11. Played Zoe’s favourite records. Had an apple. Can’t stop thinking about Zoe. Took dog (for a walk). Did some art for my exam. Drew Zoe. Wrote a decent poem. Waiting for Zoe to ring at 6. 6.30 – she hadn’t rung so I rang her. She wasn’t there. Went out to play drums. Zoe rang. We talked for about 50 minutes. I was glad to hear her voice. Went to Burd’s. Roo was there. Went down bus shelter. Talked about the party. Rung Roo’s girl up – had a laugh. Came home. Played Mauritia Mayer and Christian Death.

20th April 1984
Woke up. Gave my mum card and presents. Read book. Ate food. Went to Houldey’s. They gave me some wine. Came back. Dandy and Becky came in. Then went. Zoe rang – thank god. I’m really missing her. Talked for a while. Went to Houldey’s later again. It was Mr H’s birthday today as well. Came back, put on Christian Death with strobe and Mauritia Mayer.

21st April 1984
Got up. Fucked around. Decided to go to Poole. So went to see Pam who’s doing alright. Saw Dusty. Went down Poole. Saw Justin. Saw Lisa and her mate – went to park to drink cider. Came back. Zoe rang. Had a chat. Can’t stop thinking about her. Went to Houldey’s I think, I dunno. Came back. Watched Woody Allen – fucking good film. Can’t remember anything else.

22nd April 1984
Got up – practised drums. Ate food. Rang Zoe – had a nice chat. Had a bath – I was smelling a bit, and went to Houldey’s – took Mauritia Mayer. Went down BMX track. Met Jamie and Burty. Went back to Houldey’s. Came home. Went back – cleaned Beki’s window. Took record back. Went down BMX – had a laugh. Bought some fags. Went to Houldey’s. Came back. Watched film. Made semolina. Went to bed.

Barry – 30th July 1983

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Barry

You look cool with a beard of bumfluff
Cos it looks cool to have that stuff
Barry the maniac, daredevil cool
Barry ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fool!

25th Apr 2023 – Barry was in our class, which one I can’t remember though and his name wasn’t Barry. I’m not sure how he earned that nickname. I remember Barry was sometimes a word used in a derogatory way too (‘you Barry!’) and I’m also not sure where that came from either. Google doesn’t seem to know either. Look at all the things we don’t know.

Tits

Round, shapely, curved or flat
Big, small, nippley, ones that sag

25th Apr 2023 – As a hetero male teenager female breasts were a mystical thing for a while. I don’t really remember thinking about them too much though but others certainly did. Jim was dating Bernice who was the most well-endowed of our friends. She was a nice, funny girl but I didn’t like the way others were obsessed about her boobs as if that was her sole asset.
I was already well developed with my contrariness and being one of the lads was something I was slowly coming to loathe (unless it suited me, of course!). I remember Brian Chapman bragging about having seen Alison Pratt’s chest and that she had no boobs but huge nipples.
I was envious of the boys’ stories but never felt comfortable talking about girls in this way. I was obviously thinking about boobs though!
I had already decided that if I had a girlfriend I wouldn’t have sex with her for at least three months to see if she really liked me.
So my preference became for a small chest, always rooting for the underdog. This led to a memorable exchange with TLJ in late 2001 after I finally revealed to her about an infidelity and her response was ‘Did she have a smaller chest than me?’
Amy too was a small-breasted angel that matched her small body. However, she wasn’t happy with her chest and got herself an upgrade about a year or two into our relationship. Whatever makes her happy. Her doctor (are they doctors?) did a good job and she didn’t end up with obviously fake orbs. As she has gotten older and her petite frame started to mature into an auntie’s body they are a better match now. She still gets stares though. The downside of this operation though was painful nipples when touched, which is a shame.
It seems I have a lot to consider on this subject and here is a final thought. I hate the word ‘tits’. It’s just way too sharp and spiky for something that is soft and cuddly. Totally heterological. (Yes, I had to look that up!)