I lay down and try to breathe
Because I can’t feel my wings
Why did I wake up this way?
Am I paying for my sins?
What’s the cost to going mad?
I’m hollowed out inside
I want this curse lifted off me
I want my wings, I want to fly
It’s been a long time
Being, a long time

Inspired and words re-arranged from this post by Tomic Riter

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Today I’m feeling:

Quite relaxed and happy.  I was excited to go for a little bike ride, my psyche somehow understanding that I needed to be out in nature, getting some Vitamin D and picking up the green light reflections of the fields and jungle.

Today I’m grateful for:

My old student Praewa.  A couple of weeks ago she posted a picture from outside her house and I recognised it as a place not that far from where I live.  As I had planned for a bike ride this morning I figured I would head out in that direction towards the river, east from home, and drop in and say hello on the way.

When I messaged her though she said she wasn’t home but to come and find her where she was.  She sent me a map and it wasn’t far away from where I was heading anyway so I figured why not.

I found out that they have a grocery shop at their house and there was some kind of fun sporting event for kids going on and Praewa’s mum had set up a stall to sell refreshments.

When I got there I finally found them and it seemed like the whole family was there – mum, brother, auntie, grandmum and great grandmum!  I declined the offer of a beer, it was still before noon, though that didn’t stop Praewa’s mum from starting already!

I had a look around and in another stall, two students yelled out my name.  I don’t teach them but I recognised them from saying hello around school.  Then I spotted another student I know who was partaking in the event on the track.  She is always friendly when I see her but usually not excited or showing too much emotion but today she was laughing a lot as the race they were doing was a team event where the first in line had to pull on a big pair of baggy knickers over their clothes, run up the track and back and then swap the knickers with the next in line.

Her team won and they were happy.  When I went to say hello she was very surprised to see me there.  I congratulated her team.

The next thing I knew, Momo was walking past with some snacks.  I caught up with her and met her mum.  I asked Momo why she wasn’t competing and she said she didn’t want to be there but her mum forced her to come.

Finally, Cream came and joined Praewa and they took off to the bouncy castle slide.  They are still 14 or 15 years old but I don’t think either of them is even 5ft tall so they can still get away with playing on such things.  I bid everyone farewell and thankfully my bike started ok and I rode off around the place feeling happy to see what some of my students get up to outside of school and grateful that Praewa invited me to come.

The best thing about today was:

Riding to newer parts of the valley with a deep blue sky directly overhead (not so much on the horizons) and waterlogged paddies reflecting that, dotted with bright young green rice stems.  I took a moment to savour it all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I planned for a bike ride this morning after coffee but the bike isn’t starting. I’m sitting here in the sun for a minute hoping that it will warm up the bike and that it might magically start. Otherwise, it means wheeling it to the shop which is manageable but not what I’d planned for. Any costs to fix it are going to be painful too.

Thankfully, I finally managed to kickstart it and let it run for ten minutes before heading out.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I reminded myself to message Ploy to ask how she did on her test today.  She said she felt confident which I’m glad about.