“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Weight: 77.1kg
Resting heart rate: 50
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the two strong hill tribe girls who came to clean our windows. They are only 20 years old and work for Amy’s mum’s friend as maids. They have no days off and work for 100 baht a day. We gave them an extra 100 baht and a meal. They both seemed happy and uncomplaining. I’m not sure how I feel about it.
Some vague hints of dreams. Thoughts about how you would live your last 24 hours. Imagining today is my last – all the things unfinished – but every life is left unfinished. Wingsuit riders living life to the fullest. Not sure I could do that. My thrills are different. This old man likes reading books. What a joke. I should’ve gained this wisdom as a young man. But here I am and I gotta live.
This weekend I found many lurking memories and thrilled to return to them but life is not just about the past. What of my future? I don’t want to spend my future just documenting my past I want to add to my memories where I can.
Fatman report
Weight: 77.6kg
Resting heart rate: 49
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for a week off from the kids, this week being Scout week, whatever that means. I still have to do some things with them but at least it’s not another week in the classroom.
I am so happy and grateful for the cool foggy morning. Fog like God’s breath over the jungle.Thankful for another day of breath of my own. I want to keep breathing for as long as I can.
Scout week at school means lots of free time, though, of course, I have filled up all my free time enjoying reading, writing, sketching and thinking.
I enjoyed the weekend though it could have been a couple of days longer. I started off in a blaze and kinda ran out of energy by Sunday afternoon, though listened to podcasts whilst dozing, keeping information flowing.
I finished Notes From Underground and immediately started reading it again – this time underlining passages of interest. I also really dug Eleven Minutes which inspired some writing on Saturday moring.
Started on The Infinite Jest – feels like it may be a slog but I’ll give it a shot.
Have been doing things from my list bit by bit. Feeling good about what I’m doing.
To-do list
Weight: 77.7kg
Resting heart rate: 40
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to have improved my life throughout 2020. I feel much healthier than a year ago. I’m also doing things I enjoy. Sometimes I’m up and down but in general, life is great and I have been very lucky to be where I am in the world. I’m very grateful for that.
Weight: 78.0kg
Resting heart rate: 45
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for all the technology I am able to use these days. They make life much easier and can simplify boring tasks.
I am so happy and grateful for the sickness that has knocked me on my ass. I slept almost all day yesterday. I still have a bad stomach but feel better today. It reminds me that I’m not immune to getting sick. This is my first illness since last December.
The hottest pile of burning money on the internet as voted by everyone, everywhere. Hotter than the POTUS on fire.
Highly curated, carefully selected and specifically ordered* for your listening edification by world-renowned DJtenzenmen, who has over 500 years of experience in this business.
This week there’s music from No Babies, My Dad Is Dead, Saccharine Trust, Neos, Charming Hostess, Landowner, The Fall, Art Bears, Jimi Hendrix, Pigment Vehicle, Andy Partridge, Renaldo and the Loaf, The Let Go!, Eat Avery’s Bones, Midori, Luff, Satanique Samba Trio and The Obits.
Intro and background music by Utotem, Phantom Tollbooth, Daniel Striped Tiger and someone else I forgot. Throw in some Hawkwind.
Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
Find us on Twitter and Facebook too. Tell us if you like it, tell us if you don’t.
Listen right here or Mixcloud, Stitcher, Apple, Amazon…..all those cool places I guess.
* ie totally random.
Weight: 79.3kg
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the opportunity to sit next to the pool overlooking the ocean and drink champagne. I still can’t get used to it when I think back to my past.
Weight: 78.9kg
Resting heart rate: 46
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the chance to try Abonzo coffee this morning. Very nice flavour, very smooth. Will try dark roast next time.
Swipe away the ants.
Woke up early and thinking about school and teaching. Maybe I don’t need to push so hard – I don’t want to be thinking so much about it. But I enjoy it and get a kick out of watching kids grow and learn. Why I didn’t do that for Hayden? Guess I did what I could. Circumstances didn’t always help.
Fatman Report
Weight: 79.1kg
Resting heart rate: 54
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for access to YouTube to be able to watch interesting and thought-provoking videos. It’s my own private learning.
Music from Cream, Godhead, Father Yod and the Spirit of ’76, Perdition, Cat Power, The Demons, Doom Shrugs, Angry Red Planet, Soft Machine, The Ex, Gong, NIMBY, HIRS, Primus, The Nits and Ullulating Mummies.
Weight: 78.8kg
Resting heart rate: 56
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I have a push bike that I can ride to get a little bit of exercise.
Kids come back to school. See how it goes.
Tigger sprays on the floor. No tissue to clean.
Good five-minute warmup workout better than yesterday. Happy – feeling happy a little tired and sleepy but awake if not alert. Some aches from drilling on the weekend. Hurt hurt. Yawn. Did things and doing things – keep going – want to do more. Have things to do at school. No problem.
Enjoying life – reading, music, TV – looking at the stars – the rain – not so much the heat! I can’t stay happy. Amy is happy most of the time. We have our world – we only let the right people in.
Weight: 79.3kg
Resting heart rate: 44
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I don’t have to do any work this morning even though the kids are back at school. I offered to do something but was told it was ok.
To-do list
It was weird to have students around the school again but it was good to see some of my old students and they seemed happy to see me again. Lots of students showed their love for George and were very happy.
We ended up not doing anything again today and George thought we could get out for coffee if we really wanted to but I didn’t think that was such a good idea. I also offered myself to help with Teacher Champ but he said not to worry.
Anyway – I managed to cross off all my tasks today – reminding myself about complimenting people – JJ and Sheena.
I savoured my lunch as usual – but I put more effort into it. I also offered private best wishes to everyone though I could have thought to do that whilst stuck in traffic trying to get out of school. It took me an hour to get home today whereas it normally takes 20 minutes.
So, first day is done and we can relax into whatever it is that we end up doing. It’s good that there doesn’t seem to be much pressure on us even when we will have to teach. The environment here is very good so far.
I have been doing very short workouts in the morning, along with meditating, writing and language learning – all before going to work. It feels good to have achieved those things early in the day and it seems like they are having a beneficial effect on my thoughts.
Bronwyn told me that Hayden isn’t doing too well today. I didn’t have chance to call him during the day and he didn’t pick up when I tried when I got home. I hope he’s ok and pulls through all this.
Tomorrow, I have to renew my visa and not expecting any problems this time. It should be another simple enough day and anyway, I think I’m prepared for anything else that comes my way.
Callen the gallon – those were days alright. Sweaty five-minute warm-up. Sound makes a sound – still Heavy Vegetable swirling around all the time.
Yesterday was filled with so much beauty it was almost too much to bear – it was outstanding green, green, green – Amy not impressed by the photos – “it’s my country – this is normal – this is why I want to see other places.” I get it, of course.
Up into the mountains skidding sliding – bemused villages staring. Akha church ceremony – it was Sunday. It was great – very lovely sounds. Some places so quiet, others cicadas like chainsaws.
Gap teethed stooping old ladies, “okay!”, smokers sitting in shade – pineapple groves – where to go? – is this a road? What are you doing to me Google Maps!? Buddhas everywhere. KwanYin everywhere. Miles and miles and miles – could I see the ocean?
Hours later I’m crispy salmon skinned – Magma CDs – play them one day. Das Damen – Jupiter Eye is upside down – why? Dazzling Kilman – must be close by. *
Cooler – big rain – 30-minute blackout. Oh no – it’s okay. Cold nighttime air, can wrap up warm. What are you gonna talk about? Nothing – it doesn’t matter – enjoy that coffee – keep the cup filled with coffee. Keep your heart filled with joy. Don’t fight it, the struggle is over, everything is changing. Embrace it. Gives thanks. Give love. You’re a lovely human bean.
Fatman report
Weight: 79.9kg
Resting heart rate: 53
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that De Lanna is open again so I can sit by the river with a coffee.
*writing this sitting next to my CD collection and perusing in thought
To-do list
I struggled today to be honest. On reflection I think it may be somewhat connected to my sunburn – it is really bad on my arms and it’s not that it is painful or that I feel hot but I think I just got zapped of energy.
I got annoyed with two of the boys doing the filming because they weren’t paying any attention to the work. George rightly pointed out that it’s up to us to create the environment that we want to see but I was too tired and cranky to think about it anymore.
After lunch, I sat and closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. I felt much better after that and then, funnily, Dylan and George both got tired and sleepy too.
George can come across as quite bossy sometimes though he obviously has the best of intentions. It often rubs me the wrong way and sometimes I’m not confident enough to deal with it in a positive manner. I’m still very insecure about things and feel I have to prove a point. It’s my problem I know
I’ve been writing and reading all these things but still can’t seem to act on it. I don’t ruminate so much on things but a dark mood can be brought on by the smallest slight.
Anyway, I’m putting the tiredness down to the sunburn and the crankiness due to the tiredness. Tomorrow is another day (though the sunburn will still be there).
1994ever 