Tag: brain dump

Sketches for my sweetheart (the drunk) – 5th January 2021

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We had a 4-day holiday over the new year. For 2021 I have made a half-hearted resolution to play more video games! Last year I rarely played anything at all. In fact, I have many things I could, can and will do but I thought it was amusing to make a resolution often seen as negative.

So for much of this 4-day holiday, I gave myself a backache by playing new games on my old Xbox One.

An exception to this was the evening of the 31st December where Amy and I enjoyed a spicy hot pot with the last packet of sauce my friend Ellen delivered from China last year (or the year before….when was it!?). We also sipped on yoghurt-flavoured shoju but Amy gave up around 11pm. We had watched the Sydney Harbour fireworks at 8pm and that is when Amy considers the new year to have actually started for us, her heart still being there. I carried on building cities and shooting monsters and was up again pretty early the following morning.

On the Saturday a few of Amy’s friends and I got together at a cafe on the way to Mae Sai. It was busy there but we all ate our fill and lazed around, Amy knocking back a few Heineken’s and getting a little louder as she likes to do.

We decided to visit her old friend from Sydney who has a cactus farm nearby and he kindly gave us a couple for Amy’s collection.

We had to stop at a shop on the way home so that Amy could grab another beer and she organized herself to head on into the city for more food and alcohol! My sweetheart the drunk!

I left her to it but she came back much earlier than I expected, mentioning about some of her friends who insist that good luck only comes from going to the temple – something that particularly rubs Amy the wrong way. Amy believes in herself and all good and bad comes from within. Thai people are still very superstitious and like to put blame and benefit on things outside their control. Obviously, I agree with Amy’s point of view but I don’t let other people’s ideas like this rub me the wrong way, though I also don’t have to listen to them complain about their lives either!

Before this holiday I thought I’d like to do something artistic again and started off with sketching. I have more ideas for continuing this than I have time currently available – it could be a battle between sketching or video games. I hope to balance this effectively. So, I was quite happy and proud of my first sketch – just looking up from my little floor table where I was working.


Brain dump

Post-yoga workout, meditate. Thoughts focus on relationships at school and people’s personalities. Stop comparing, you are you and you are fine – you don’t have to be like George or Dylan or anyone. Being yourself is fine.

Tigger cries in the morning. My middle back aches, work on core. 10 Burpee’s was tough! Getting up was tough.

Little Kim sleeps next to my butt. So much time – enjoy it – use it. Feel good. Feel strong.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my body to struggle through doing 10 burpees this morning. It was slow going but I made it. I must carry on.

The best thing that happened today was to watch a student’s face look happy when knowing that they had learned and remembered how to say a word correctly. This always makes me happy.

Got up on the wrong side of life this morning – 10th November 2020

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Empty nonsense in here. Bitch Magnet – John Fine – Your Band Sucks. Reminds me of me. Just wanted to rock.

What is life outside? Happiness – I’m content but Amy is so unhappy. Resolution must be found. It’s easy here for me, my style makes it easy. But I can live anywhere – I just don’t want to make my life harder. I don’t see the point. But we will start thinking about how and when to move back to Australia. I can live anywhere so long as I have my things around me. I have lots I want to do and can be done from anywhere.

Poor Amy I don’t like to see her so sad.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all my years of life. I’m reading Jon Fine’s book at the moment and it takes me right back to the desperate feelings I had in my early twenties. Those feelings got us both to where we are today, for better or worse. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to be able to look back and reflect on this.

You can’t make me feel like you do – 10th October 2020

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Cool Saturday morning – didn’t exercise for a week or so. Cooler dark mornings – difficult to get out of bed.
Bed annoys – always wake up with a crook neck.
Lazy. Mood okay. Amy is a little cranky – not sure why. Am I selfish?
Read Fanatic – easy read. Last two books took forever. Busy on computer and playing guitar. Fun with that.
Tar Babies in my head – want to play more of my own music but always discovering something new and cool.
Exercise time.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my books. When I’m finished I can just pick another or to read and hopefully enjoy.

I gotta make plans for the plans I make – 28th September 2020

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Tigger talking – announcing his arrival. Prince Tigger is here, I demand attention.

Light rain. Cap ran out to pee and back again.

Neck sore – stretched and worked. Tigger sprayed in my room – little bastard – why? Shove his nose in it?

Easy week again – all easy. Students present movie reviews. What if they didn’t prepare – of course, they didn’t prepare. They are lazy and unmotivated. How to motivate?

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the planning I did earlier in the year so that I don’t have to work so hard on lesson planning now.

Imagination turns thoughts – 22nd September 2020

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Tried dictating to the computer to record these but it’s difficult to talk and think sometimes – tells you something!

Nice dreams, didn’t want them to stop – Amy and I were at a public bath with Chris and Hillary – I don’t remember why or how.

I wasn’t tired last night – slept late. Feel okay now after exercise.

First Thai lesson today. Nervous but know it will be okay.

Look forward to coffee as always. Thoughts flip down the river but don’t come now as I’m writing. My stuck mind.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I went shopping yesterday which gave me plenty of time to do things I want to do today

To-do list

  • Five compliments.

I’m always complimenting students and Amy so I don’t count those. I managed four compliments today. I will try for five again tomorrow.

Brain dump (by mouth) – 13th September 2020

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Cappuccino walking slowly something wrong – But he can’t explain why – just a funny cry
Why cats can’t speak our language – Why we can’t speak theirs – Old man – Looks old acts old – His hair still beautiful Looks Still beautiful – Must prepare for the inevitable – We love him very much
Neck cranky – Slept okay – Stretch And yawn
Temporary crown keeps falling out when eating – Annoying but funny
Speaking still weird I think I’ll go back to writing

And so ends the attempt to dictate morning pages

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my shirts and shorts. I’m thinking about all the t-shirts I have owned over time and what they meant to me.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #55 – 12th September 2020

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From now I’m going to tell you that these selections are highly curated, carefully selected and specifically ordered for your listening edification by world-renowned DJtenzenmen.

I tell you this because these kinds of things sell!

The truth is that the music is randomly selected by iTunes – but as the iTunes library is already carefully selected with only the best top quality material from 50 years of research then satisfaction is surely guaranteed!

This week there’s music from Shield Your Eyes, Cecil Buffalo and the Prophets, DJ PicaPicaPica, Invisible Ghost Luigi, Mutants, Butthole Surfers, PFM, Sun City Girls, Gelbart, Ne Zhdali, The Freeze, Massacre, Cypress Hill, Deep Turtle and Orthrelm.

Intro and background music by Utotem.

Brain dump (by mouth)

Attempting morning pages exercise using dictation with phone (Samsung)

Your post goes against community standards
Who was the man in the castle?
Ride around MFU placing stickers – advertising podcast – my stickers are tiny – maybe some people will see, will notice
Utopia this morning – met Pim, Fern’s friend
Woke up late – decided to turn off alarm in the middle of the night – My plan schedule now out of whack
Soon I will read Hendrix – Maybe sort out some more music – Do yoga – Meditating – some more reading – Maybe record some more podcasts in the evening
Try to relax
Teaching English online – I don’t look forward to it but enjoy it when it happens
2 o’clock already
Big rain – big sun big rain
Next week not many hours – How to make use of the time – Always things to do

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my cracking neck these days. Hopefully, it is cracking more because it is becoming more flexible with doing more stretching and yoga. It feels sore but better than before.



Brain dump (by mouth) – 11th September 2020

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Attempting morning pages exercise using dictation with phone (Samsung)

The first time using computer for morning pages
911 – In my head Chile 1973 – 911 has more than one meaning
Tired not sleeping – Intervention – Can’t remember my dreams
Three cats in the kitchen – Tigger crying
Kimchi with energy
Looking forward to classes today
Difficult to think and speak sometimes easier to write
This is first time so let’s try
Cool morning
Stretch body and brain
Snail on verandah

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a busy Friday. I like this feeling as it motivates me.

Who decides what will happen? – 8th September 2020

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Quick brain dump. Bad sleep, bad tooth. Crazy dreams I forgot, will remember at some weird point today.

Good physical weekend – waterfall, fun, friends – just enough. Teaching, learning – all good.

Can I fix my neck? Can my body be free of pain? Let’s meditate.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the rain this morning and that I made it into school before any flooding.

Well, it’s a futuristic modern world – 2nd September 2020

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Wake a little early again but enjoyed snoozing. Seven-minute classic exercise coming up – not looking forward to doing but looking forward to the feeling afterwards. First, a good stretch.

Scribble dribble – what’s in my head. Students, class, study, water, cats, coffee – damn, coffee I can taste it already – preparing my taste buds for that first hit. Am I addicted? No coffee after midday today, okay?

Cracking bones in my body – is it too late to repair my body? Let’s see, let’s try. Smelled alcohol last night and made me nauseous – weird to have such a reaction. Haven’t drunk for about a month, I think.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to take a photo by the river with our barista this morning. Manow is very poor at English but somehow we can communicate our needs.

1st Nov 2022 – I saw this picture recently but can’t find it now. Maybe got deleted whilst trying to figure out how the hell iCloud works across multiple devices and then deleting things off my phone. If you are reading this in 100 years I hope you laugh at how old and dumb this technology was.

To-do list

  • Savour something ½
  • Compliments and awards ½
  • No coffee after midday
  • 7-minute morning workout and squats ✅

As I was sat drinking coffee this morning, sat next to the river, nice temperature, I tried to put myself into a savouring state but somehow I just couldn’t manage it. I think it was because I was thinking too much about what to do with my class when I got back. I even checked my heartrate which was unusually high for me and the fitness app told me that I was stressed! I didn’t really feel stressed – just had that class on my mind.

I tried not to drink coffee after midday but broke down at 1.30 and caved in! It’s ok. I’ll try again tomorrow. Maybe get three coffees in before midday – that worked yesterday.

In general, I enjoyed school today and I’m still really happy. I do think about complimenting people but except for people’s appearance, I’m finding it a little difficult to find some things to compliment on. I do compliment the students a lot though. I don’t really count that though as that feels to me like it’s just a part of the job.

I did spend an hour or so talking with George about Lebanon and religion. I enjoyed that and thinking back to it now, there were moments when I was savouring that conversation.

I still need to practice more listening than speaking and also pushing the conversations to new and interesting places. I don’t really need to share my opinion – is it really important that other people know what I think? It’s still possible to drive a deep and meaningful conversation without committing to absolute belief.