The Price Of Peace – 20th October 2023

Reality doesn’t care about your shoulds and shouldn’ts
The way out of suffering is the same on any scale
Would you side with peace or with the wouldn’ts?
Determined to see the negotiations fail
Does the price of peace negate your profits?
How many bodies are on your bottom line?
The brave will do the right thing to stop it
Not afraid to call the reality a crime

First two lines borrowed from Caitlin Johnstone


Today I’m feeling:

Slow but positive. Got home at around midnight and found the documentary about the making of Dogs in Space on TV so watched that and then there was a show about an explosion on an active volcanic island in New Zealand that killed 22 tourists. It was pretty compelling and kept me up til 2 am.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy’s co-workers to have become good friends and colleagues over the last 18 months. They were quite emotional to say goodbye today at dinner.

The best thing about today was:

Walking through Balmain down to the ferry, with a beautiful full blue Australian sky, purple jacaranda blooms scattered across the ground and the scent of jasmine everywhere.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy wants to dance this evening and I’m tired already but know that she will miss all this very much. I sat just outside in the foyer reading and finally, Amy came out.

Something I learned today?

China’s divorce rate has dropped for three years in a row. This seems surprising considering that time includes pandemic lockdowns where it would be assumed that families having to spend so much time together would get on each other’s nerves and separate easily.

What are you afraid of?

Toothache. At the wedding, I broke some more off one of my teeth whilst eating risotto of all things. The nerve isn’t exposed thankfully but it’s only a matter of time before more pieces break off and fall out. Toothache is the worst!

I’m afraid of other more existential things too but right now it’s toothache!

What am I longing for right now?

Knowing a long flight is ahead tomorrow I’m longing to be back home again.

I took this picture because it was a beautiful day to be a tourist in Sydney so that’s what we did.

Big Tokes – 29th November 2022

Fucked up and thinking
All the crazy thoughts
Eyes half shut and drooping
Smashed out of sorts
Time stretched and twisted
An hour, a second, a day
Wake up next week
With nothing left to say
Your brain on drugs
The egg now over-fried
Paranoia and suspicion
Now set deep inside


I don’t want innovations which improve my shopping experience or make smartphones a tiny bit better. I want innovations which eliminate world hunger…innovations which help humans live in harmony with our ecosystem.

Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and high
Today I’m grateful for:
Matt giving me some kratom tea and then some weed tea at his place that had me fucked up and paranoid on the way home and when I got in I went straight to bed where I kinda fell in and out of dream state. I woke up an hour later groggy and still slightly bent. I’ve done nothing else but be lazy tonight. Weed really seems to be the best drug to keep people sedated.
The best thing about today was:
Having fun with my kids in class again. I think we got past the rocky start we had last week and I feel a little more confident again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Well, due to that unexpected high I wasn’t able to do things that I would normally want to do and I’m at peace with that decision. I felt out of control and the way to deal with it was just to slow everything down.
What are you curious about?
I’d like to say I’m curious about everything but that’s not really true. I’m probably less curious about many things now just out of laziness. There are things I don’t need to know. Actually, so much I don’t need to know. With modern technology, I wonder if my kids feel like this about everything. Just find out what you need to know when you need it. Maybe in the foreseeable future, this will be a benefit.

I took this picture because this is the first foggy morning of winter. Despite it being cooler in the morning we’ve needed the aircon on again at night and right now I’m sweating away with two fans before heading into the chilly bedroom.

The Calmers – 13th November 2022

Take a deep breath
Still that thrashing heart
Stop for a second
Before you fall apart

Not the time to run
Bouncing around
Turn the TV on
Until you’re settled down


Upon the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that, upon other fields, on other days will bear the fruits of vistory.

General MacArthur

Today I’m feeling:
am: tired pm: lively
Today I’m grateful for:
The afternoon coffee that is keeping me up late right now. I’m glad I forced myself to get out this afternoon as I had a quick midday nap and could’ve just spent the rest of the day lazing around.
The best thing about today was:
Going to Daytripper as just described and finding that the girl working there is someone I often see at Utopia reading books but we’ve never spoken. As I paid to leave she asked how the coffee was and we chatted a little. Her name is Natalie and now we have a basis to talk in the future. There was also a group of the barista’s friends there playing a card game and just as I was getting energy back from the coffee I really wanted to ask them if I could join but by then I had to get home to feed the cats. A missed opportunity to make some new acquaintances but I’ll be sharper next time
Daily thought
Do you complain too much?
Maybe. It is definitely not at a level I left the UK with and I think I still continue to improve on this but as with these things you generally don’t tend to notice yourself when you are doing it. So I’m saying maybe because I don’t think I do complain too much these days but I may be missing it.
Do you ever see wild animals?
Can I include my students?
Snakes, lizards, birds and some mad insects. I don’t think there are any big cats in Thailand and any elephant I’ve seen is no longer wild.

I took this picture because the stupa on the hill is a landmark letting me know I’m near home. This shot was in the golden hour taken from Daytripper across the rice fields. I’m not tired of rice field shots but they never quite catch the experience. Maybe I should crack out the big camera and see how that performs.

Daisy – 12th November 2022

There she is, dressed in black
She’s clinging to my arm
There’s no way to take her back
But there’s no cause for alarm
Even though she’s hurting me
I know it will be ok
And not everyone will see
That she is here to stay


Western civilisation is a story of full bellies and starving hearts. Of a feast of information and a famine of truth.

Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and dizzy.
Today I’m grateful for:
The girls at the tattoo studio again for doing a great job. They don’t mess around and just get on with the work. Again, I was out by midday and on my way home.
The best thing about today was:
My new tattoo, obviously!

I took this picture because it’s fresh.

Scrabble – 1st October 2022

After a fall you may rest in bed
But those words can never be unsaid
Your actions may bring some trouble
But your words will score them double


Live long enough and you’ll learn that the people who’ll really hurt you and screw you over aren’t the obvious, overt monsters but the sly manipulators who smile to your face.

Caitlin Johnstone

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to listen to CDs throughout the day. Marc Ribot, Half Man Half Biscuit and That Fucking Tank. To have music available to suit (or make) any mood is something I’m grateful for.
The best thing about today was:
Walking in the rain and being in the garden in the rain, with Cap watching me from the terrace and Tig curled up on the chair. Idyllic.

What is your favourite season of year? Why?
My favourite season depends on where I am in the world but I guess spring would generally be my favourite. The balance of the four seasons in England makes each of them enjoyable. Sydney, Australia mostly felt like having two seasons but a short break in between each. Thailand has three seasons with no spring to really talk of. Just winter, summer and rainy seasons.

Spring is the light after the cold dark of winter, everything renews and regenerates. A time of hope and possibility. Sometimes summer is tinged with a hint of sadness, knowing that it will finish soon.

I took this picture because despite the rain I was enjoying this walk and I wanted to show my village, with the highway running through. I no longer wonder what I’m doing here. I could be anywhere and this is just where I am right now.

Straight Outta Dumpton – 8th June 2022

All the pretty boys tucked up in bed
Curfew imposed on their father’s behalf
Fingers for guns, hide behind the pillows
Dying the best to make your friends laugh

Six months of schooling in the forest
You must make enemies into friends
The kind of which you’d die for
And on whom your life depends

The hierarchy is understood
Cigarettes smuggled in by sir
Dirty mags and your dirty rags
A room of raging hormones stir

No belles allowed to distract
Weekend casuals made from tweed
The only hunt is on for foxes
The only entertainment a boy should need

A world apart outside the fence
The stinking farmer chuckles
A future built on manors born
On shiny boots and polished buckles

Dumpton was a boarding school near where I lived as a teenager and it was a place of some mystery to all us hooligans in the village. I think Murray befriended someone there one time but information was scarce on what went on there. I assumed it was a place for the toffs to send their kids for an education in preparation for a life of shooting pheasants and marrying princesses.

Very occasionally the gate was open onto the school estate and we risked being chased by angry masters and irate snobby teenagers as we rode our bikes through the grounds just to be nosy and as a shortcut to the main road and the streams that fed into the river.

Checking maps on my old haunts it looks like the school has since moved a few miles closer to town (Wimborne). Thinking about these times brings back the smells and emotions of them. The innocence of youth; open minds, enquiring into anything and everything curious.

History (via Wikipedia)

The school was founded as a boys’ preparatory school at Dumpton Park in Kent in 1903 and evacuated to Cranborne Chase in Dorset to avoid bombing raids at the outset of the Second World War, (as were many schools from south-east England).

In 1945, the school moved to Gaunt’s House, near Wimborne, and flourished under the Headmastership of Colonel Trevor Card. Unusually, the dormitories were named in memory of former pupils who had died on active service; (these included Cock, Pollard, Brown, York, Dutton and Fanshawe). Trevor Card was succeeded by Messrs Carter and Monkhouse as joint heads in 1958, and subsequently by Major General Frank Thompson.

In 1988 the school moved again to its present site at Dean’s Grove House nearer to Wimborne.

Well, this shows that the school moved whilst I was still living around the area although by then most of us kids had moved on from hanging around the village now we were old enough to ride motorbikes and drive cars.


If you don’t respect the way China has been able to pull so many of its people out of extreme poverty, and don’t get why such actions would cause such unified support for their government, it’s simply because you lack and adequate understanding of the anguish of extreme poverty.

Caitlin Johnstone

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can be kept easily entertained by books, courses, movies, playing guitar etc. I’m never bored of my life.

Empire Fanfic For Slow Kids – 22nd May 2022

Words are written to fan the flames
Generate outrage with magic games
Knowing nothing except the names
Of all those whom the writer blames
Propaganda pushed to every screen
Harmony must remain a dream
The devil, front and centre, seen
More dangerous than it’s ever been
Heroes forever dashing hopes
Innocents on hanging ropes
Testing how its society copes
Forever sliding down slippery slopes

*Inspired by and title appropriated from Caitlin Johnstone


What are you going to believe, the facts or your eyes?

Ronald Reagan official

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for this mango jam that Amy’s mum made and the bagel that Nong Nut made.

Mark My Words – 19th May 2022

It’s a messy room to live
Misunderstood and bent sinister
Yet never felt better in its life
Your future are missing winner
Heads rolled, sure they did
A grotesque psykick dancehall
A triad-plus hip preist
The Smiths predict the fall
Always seen Totale’s turning
A solvent wax to levitate
It’s a caustic user syndrome
A kurious work to extricate
Mangled language perverted
A sublingual tablet bends
From the click of the country
To experiments of frenz
From the time the north was hit
The house was full of ghosts
A mesmerising miasma
A dream lie fiery jack a-toasts

Listening through the Hanley brothers ‘Oh! Brother’ podcast and falling in love with English accents.


The empire is not worries about the spread of disinformation, they’re worried about the spread of information.

Caitlin Johnstone

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see all the birds in the garden, eating all the newborn insects, which come in their millions.


The Week That Was – 29th July 1979

One Day – 6th April 2022

Always on the path of most resistance
Never giving up, refusing to play the game
No unexpected award during your existence
Perhaps in death, others will speak your name

28th Apr 2024 – Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – One Day


Few people sincerely want the truth about the world.

Caitlin Johnstone

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Dutch Mill for making delicious yoghurt milk drinks.

Standing In Line With The Dead – 28th March 2022

Hangry moon rising, tummy rumble thunder
Blood sugar doldrums, the thought of going under
A credit card expired, what’s there to do?
An angel walks forward coming to the rescue
Crisis averted, silent applause fills mad hearts
Order is restored and the queue soon restarts
Grateful is the world for random kindly acts
When queueing with the dead
– and them’s the facts!


Being a contrarian in the face of bat shit insanity is a good thing.

Caitlin Johnstone

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see the baby cow dancing and playing in the field opposite.