Tag: cats

The Astronaut – 2nd June 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Flying, high above the ground
Wind rushing through tangled hair
Unaware of any given sound
Down on the ground, down there
Searching, this view from on high
All concerns, petty in perspective
Ants too busy to scan the sky
Asking why to God’s directive
Building, a world to call a home
Each step a web of confusion
Illusion, atoms split to be alone
Formed hearts of stone and brought delusion

Those whom know all the answers, just haven’t asked all the questions.

unknown

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Kim showed up this morning after being out all night again. I’m worried about her cos she’s acting a bit weird.

Getting There – 31st May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I don’t want you to get left behind
I know you feel you’re standing still
The world is running too fast to find
The chances to improve your skill
So I’ll give you all the time I can
Although my time is hard to spare
Let’s walk together to make a plan
That will see you getting there

Failures really gave me confidence. They led to great things and opportunities. I was terrified of those very things happening until they happened.

Cindy Spiegel

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have a visiting bird at eye level, and out of the way of our cats. I hope I can see the chicks hatch and they don’t fall out of the nests into our cat’s mouths.

Old Geezer – 30th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

We didn’t know it before
Why the dark clouds came
You just had to get on with it
With only yourself to blame

Then someone turns on the light
And it all starts to make sense
So begins the slow process
To down the shields of defence

Inspired by reading Mick Wall’s Black Sabbath biography and Geezer Butler growing up with undiagnosed depression, much like myself.
9th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – sabbath

The feeling of having no power over people and events is generally unbearable to us.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Kim was waiting in the bookshelf this morning as I couldn’t find her last night to put her in her room.

Get The Winch – 28th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You used to be an armchair warrior
But now you got so fucking fat
You’ve become a sofa warrior
Unable to wriggle from where you’re sat

14th May 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt

Sometimes I like to read a book that has nothing to do with my life, which often has the effect of making me wish for a different life.

Elisa Gabbert

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the technology we use so that Amy can order and pay for food for our cats to be delivered to me and can see her face on video calls for her mum’s birthday today, even though we are in different hemispheres.

Malfunction – 13th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Malfunctions are a means of education
You must learn from your mistakes
The flaws revealed only in the execution
It’s the schooling that mastery makes

Inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws (March – Mastery)

13th Mar 2023 – I thought this poem had a familiar topic as I had read about this again today. This means I have been reading the Daily Laws for one whole year now. It’s become my habit so I’ll keep going, just as I do with the Daily Stoic, which I have in physical form now and read a page a day in the morning with breakfast.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Dr Arnon’s staff for taking care of our cats. Tigger reports back in good health. Kim and Cap go next week.

Mica Friction – 30th December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A bowling ball
Heading toward the pins
A 7-10 split
Let’s see who wins
Internal asymmetrical block
Influencing spins
Dry board mica friction
Analysed, winner grins

We got some blowback afterwards, but so what? We won.

Brad Blakeman, Republican operative

28 Sep 2022 – Most quotes I find are affirmations of a sort, but this one is a reminder of how corrupt people can be, doing anything to win.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the cat massage Kim gave me this morning when I went to see her in her room. Then we rubbed noses and cuddled until she got distracted and ran off.

A busy time coming up and my head is full of things. Good things though. Not feeling stressed about anything except for maybe overloading myself with too much. Nothing serious though – I just have so much I want to do in a day and it doesn’t really matter if I don’t get to do them.

I went to Central to look for a diary but couldn’t find anything suitable, so opeted to get another notebooks that I didn’t really need but felt compelled to buy after having made the effort to go there.

The omicron covid variant is dirsupting Amy’s thoughts about travelling and may change her plans. I think if she doesn’t go in January then she won’t be able to go until after my next visa is completed. I think she’ll make a decision in the next couple of weeks, carefully watching the numbers and decisions Australia makes about travel.

I’m about to rush back to school for a quick meeting with some selected grade 8 students to do some extra work on producing TED-Ed presentations in the future. Let’s see how it goes. I will go sit in the school cafe later and write some more. Right now – let’s see if I can spit outa poem for today!

Back again. Met with the students. It is painfully obvious the difference between those in M2/9 and those in M2/10 and M2/11. Those in M2/9 have confidence and feel that they can do things. The others – not so much but I really hope they don’t quit out of fear of failure. It’s a great opportunity for them to learn and grow, work with new students and make new friends.

I know sometimes, when I was that age, I would just give up. I know how they must feel. I also know that I would have benefited by changing my mindset and giving it a go. I’ll try my best to keep encouraging them.

I had hoped that Champ would be here to help reassure them and kicking myself a little by not explaining things clearly enough. Hindsight. That’s why I sent out a message of encouragement with a Thai translation. I hope I can keep up the momentum I’m feeling and don’t get dragged down by the setbacks.

What is difficult about being your age?

I’m half-jokingly thinking to myself that it sucks that I have the confidence (and lack of caring about the outcome) to talk to anyone now. Especially to pretty girls. Why I couldn’t do it when I was younger is annoying to think about! But it’s not really a difficulty of my current age.

The only thing that really sticks out is the obvious one of aching body parts. Constant sore neck, tender shoulder blades, sore wrists, and painful left foot. As I never really exercised much when I was younger, my muscles have all learned bad habits that may be difficult to reverse now. As with my initial thoughts, perhaps all I’m really feeling is regret – something that I consciously try to avoid or not consider.

At whatever age we are, we probably all want to be 5 years old again, without many a care in the world. So perhaps that is what is difficult – the inability to be a 5-year-old. Seeing things with a greater sense of wonder. It seems to require a greater effort to achieve that as you age.

I am a serious person these days. I’m happy like that. I can’t not care about things, so sometimes that is a little difficult to accept.

A Madness Of The Impossible – 1st December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The very essence of my soul betrayed
No knowledge may heal the wound I made
In this fog, there is nowhere to be or go
I just can’t forgive myself I’m afraid

Misery and self-loathing bedevil my days
A madness of the impossible Derrida says
The radical act of self-forgiveness so
Absolve yourself, you must find the ways

Inspired (and butchered) by a reply to a letter to Nick Cave at The Red Hand Files newsletter
and submitted to Thursday Inspiration #246

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that our cats seem to have recovered. Cap from a bad stomach and Kim from wounds after a big fight with Tigger. Tigger has been very well recently though his fur is starting to make him look old.

I was planning to do some preparation and reading and writing this afternoon but Fui brought his teenage son and daughter to House and I ended up talking with all of them for most of the time! Fui’s kids study in Singapore, and have done for many years. I’m not sure why and didn’t ask, but it’s interesting to get their perspective on things especially as English has become their first language.

My one class this morning was with 2/11 and it went well. I got them more involved by helping me to learn the Thai words for all the English vocabulary that I wanted them to remember. So, I’m feeling good.

A rest day from the abs workout. I can feel that there is less fat on my chest and my ribs are becoming more visible. I like this healthier me. As with anything, I should’ve started sooner. I’m still thinking about that time of brushing off Rupert when he started lifting weights at school. I was all about smoking and drinking. I was lucky that my metabolism sustained my skinny body into my late 30s and only the beer started sticking on my hips.

OK – back to it. More free time tomorrow afternoon to finish off this preparation.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 47

Coy Maids Yield – 23rd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

A peach, not yet ripe, hangs tempting
Soft fur on skin clear and pale
Untouched by the hands of fate
A heart grows older, lamenting
This light will never be the same
When summer arrives, the crow is late
And so shall end this game

The gravity tugs at all the fruits
Suspended like puppets, dancing on the wind
The ripened fall among the flowers
As the strings begin to yield and bend
Gently whispered words that sour
As hungry wolves gather sniffing
In search of fresh fruits to devour

No new ideas found under Newton’s tree
What is gone will bloom again
Forbidden fruits in gardens green
Cherries picked, hummingbird and bee
Seeds spread to await cold rain
The coy maids’ pollen floating free

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that we found a little scratch on Cap’s belly last night so that we could treat it before it might get infected. It was because I love to pet our cats that I usually find scratches and cuts that need attention.

All good things must come to an end? Whilst I’m happily working away, thinking up more and better ways to encourage my students to learn, I got told that the school has received complaints about me from parents. It’s not clear to me exactly what these complaints are yet but giving students assignments to work on when they are not in class (ie online teaching times) was mentioned.

As I think about it I wonder if these complaints are actually not so much about me but about the students, their children. Some are so far behind that they would struggle in even primary classes.

Tomorrow I will talk to Champ and Kru Nu and I will think of questions that I want to ask them. In particular, now, my two questions are what are the specific complaints and what do you want me to do? When I was talking with Champ, I just got the vague response of ‘make the complaints go away.’

I know that George will be shaking his head if he knows about this. He always keeps everything smooth and makes everything as easy as possible for his students. They can cruise through his class. I see the Thai teachers doing this too.

Ah – I’ve written this all here before. I want to push the students, make them curious and interested to learn. Each class has such good students mixed with others who have very poor skills. I prefer to teach to the middle-top rather than be bored with teaching such simple stuff.

But maybe I should change my thinking, have the simple life, make it easy and care less about the outcome for the students. It feels like such a cop out to me. Should I even be a teacher? I’m anxious and confused now. I want to defend myself but I should just try and keep my mouth shut. In the meeting tomorrow I should take notes and just work to what they tell me.

Gah! Even as I’m writing that my head is going ‘but…but…but.’ Do I care too much? I love all these kids, even the poor students. Even the ones who don’t like me.

Along with all this we’ve been trying to sort out Amy’s name change for her Aussie passport and that can of worms continued to grow but now we’ve sorted it out and will have to deal with all the Thai paperwork when she’s back from Australia again. That was stressful and it’s still stressful knowing that we will have to revisit it again in the future.

In another 11 years (or is it 15?) I will be able to get my superannuation from Australia. Where do I want to be? Where will we want to be? Should we sell up and go back now? Could I survive in Australia again? Could I do it without working? Where is the easy life I was searching for?

Haha. I make myself laugh. I’m always telling myself that it is better to suffer in life. To know that you are alive. Life is pain. And that’s ok with me.

The Week That Was – 25th February 1979

Singy – 7th October 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Rob’s singing about his cat again
And I’m trying to sing-a-long
I can’t quite hit the harmony
And I get the lyrics wrong

But the joy is in our hearts
As we’re belting out this song
There’s no difference between us
We are all where we belong

Inspired by listening to Thingy and the genius songwriting of Rob Crow and his songs about his cat Molly.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that the dentist called to remind me to go today and bring my mouth shield because I forgot it last time.

It’s been pretty hot during the days recently and despite flooding in other parts of the country, it hasn’t rained here for a week or more now. The temperature in the evening is perfect though, and when the skies are clear, Venus and Jupiter (maybe) are super bright up above.

When I got home on Tuesday, Amy wanted to go for a swim and despite the sun being behind the mountains, when we got to the resort pool, just 3 minutes ride from us, it was a very pleasant hour or so, which a few other families were also enjoying. Relaxing here, overlooking beautiful jungle mountains and rice fields, a clear pool, food and drink, we both once again blessed ourselves for how lucky we are.

It’s dentist time again today. Let’s see how much these damn things will cost me this time! I’m happy to still have most of my teeth. I can still see my dentist’s face from when I was a teenager, always telling me to brush more and stop eating candy. He was trying his best but my rebellious streak thought I could survive forever.

Well, here I am, mouth full, sometimes hurting and most times painful on the wallet. I can remember a time when mum got her first clip-in teeth and I must be older than that now. So, I can consider I’m doing well enough, right?

The last few times I stayed with her, I was always amused in the mornings when she would wake up and ask me to hold on while she put in her teeth. A few more were required by that time. She’d also have put in her hearing aids and put on her glasses. Is that my destiny too? So long as I can put it all off a little longer, that’s ok.

I can’t imagine not losing my hearing, considering all the loud shows I’ve been at, surely exposed more than my mum had in her lifetime. Her parents both went deaf but I don’t know about anything on dad’s side. Hopefully, I inherited something good there.