Skipping Down The Street – 21st September 2023

Sometimes we play like children
Before we remember who we are
No more skipping along the road
Or taking a joke too far
 Why blush embarrassed at the fun
 Of pretending to shoot an imaginary gun?

Now the world is our playground
We’ve forgotten exactly how to play
Life suddenly got so serious
And we let it get in our way
We removed ourselves from our dreams
Made them into our children’s themes

3rd Apr 2024 – Submitted to The Daily Spur – adjust


Today I’m feeling:

Positive and energetic with any underlying feeling of tiredness just from exercise. Is it ironic that I’m feeling the best I have felt in a long time whilst Amy’s family is all struggling with their health and the stress that goes along with it?

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding a parking space outside the 7/11 next to the hospital as I had to go and wait with Amy’s dad whilst Amy’s mum went to grab some food and move her car. I bought a protein drink there to keep me going as I’m not sure when I’ll get home. I’m hungry after a long day.

The best thing about today was:

For my last class of the day, I gave the students a difficult listening and spelling test. I sat them apart and told them they couldn’t speak to each other. They had forty words to listen to and then spell. What made me happy was that all the students took it seriously and the ones who hadn’t been paying attention were being found out.

This was the real goal of the lesson. I don’t much care about the results of the test.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I knew that I would have to take Leo (Amy’s dad’s dog) for a walk after work and had built that into my thought schedule for the day, knowing that I would be tired as this is my busiest day of the week. During the morning I got a message from Amy that I was also needed after that at the hospital to relieve Amy’s mum for a while. Whilst not that unexpected it meant readjusting my mindset that now I wasn’t even sure when I might get home and to eat. Again, I submitted myself and got my mind straight about it. No point in being upset.

Something I learned today?

I learned the reason why China had to develop its own GPS system. In the mid-90s the USA declared a Chinese ship was delivering chemical agents for weaponisation to Iran, without any evidence at all. The USA forced the ship to stay at sea and demanded other countries refuse to let the ship dock. The Chinese offered for independent assessors to come and check the ship but the USA refused! Then they switched off GPS for the ship to use so the captain didn’t know where they were going. After 20 days the crew ran out of food and water until finally supplies were sent from one of the Gulf countries and it was allowed to dock. When the contents of the ship were checked it was all harmless as the Chinese had said. The issue of the USA’s ability to turn off GPS and later banning China from using the suddenly ill-named International Space Station pushed China to forge its own path ahead.

What are some of my strengths?

Patience, determination (when I care), perseverance, easy-going attitude.

At least that’s how see myself. I wonder what others might think my strengths are?

How do I find peace?

I think I found it by travelling a long way and forfeiting a lot of the things that previously brought me pleasure in a less peaceful world (big city rat race office job). 

Making life a little less complex and being in an environment with fewer choices has made me more peaceful. If I had done this 10 or 20 years ago I think I would have felt more restless but right now it’s perfect.

Quote: Happiness is a virtue, not its reward – Baruch Spinoza

I didn’t understand this on first reading so shoved it into ChatGPT asking it to be explained to a twelve-year-old. Then I could make sense of it. 

The point of this statement seems to fall into place with time and practice. I can recall times when I knowingly did good things for some vague notion of brownie points. Maybe by repeatedly doing things like that, I learned the habit of doing good things and in time my reasons for doing them became less contrived. I have become happier over time as I’ve matured. 

I don’t believe in karma as such, in that I don’t believe that if I do something good then something good will happen to me, but that if I do something good it just makes me feel better. My karma is internalised rather than hoping for some kind of reciprocal external reward.

I took this picture because this was the result of trying to get excitable Leo onto his leash!

A Winner Of Awards – 15th January 2023

The man with the winning smile
Wins a front-page reward
His shiny teeth are squeaky clean
But he speaks like a machine
And everyone got bored

The man stands above the crowd
Surveys the plebs around
A swinging dick and shiny head
But a nightly empty bed
With no friends to be found


Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed and chilled. Cancelled riding over to see Matt as I feel lazy and want to enjoy my home for another day. May go to Daytripper later but I thought that yesterday and ended up not getting there.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nut and Bruno again, this time bringing me food because they are going away for a week. A whole banoffee. I need to work these calories off!

The best thing about today was:

Walking in our driveway in the dark and looking at the clear night sky and the brightest nearest stars. I do this most nights and feel how inconsequential I am in the bigger scheme. I’m smaller than an ant. An atom or even less.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had minimal interactions with people today and nothing went wrong at home. I have spent 95% of the day in my head where I had full (?) control. Maybe I couldn’t control my laziness today and I handled that with a delicious nap.

Something I learned today?

I learned that I can use ChatGPT to write lesson plans! But I will investigate more as I want to come up with more fun ideas for the classroom.

What are your top two favourite apps or websites?

Website is definitely Bandcamp as I use it to host promote and sell the tenzenmen catalogue. It’s easy to use as a seller and as a buyer and researcher.

As for an app, apart from this one (Day One) at the moment, it is probably Substack as it collects interesting newsletters for me to read when I’m free, rather than clogging up my inbox.

Art took this picture because he used it to post to Facebook to show Utopia is open. I don’t like myself in this picture though. I’d like to cut off my sagging chin!

Work In Progress – 25th December 2022

All around is static
A photo reel reflection
I see myself, a boy, a man
Open to inspection

Shadows passing in ceaseless flux
A work in progression
Destruction and evolution
Are the cycles of obsession

Holding onto pain
Until I learned to let it go
Significance is impermanent
As I’ve slowly come to know


People who cannot suffer can never grow up, never discover who they are.

James Baldwin

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and average, not up, not down.
Today I’m grateful for:
Our machete, which I seem to blunt every time I use it but it helped me cut through the vines of the passionfruit. Do I need to buy an angle grinder now so that I can sharpen it again? Or perhaps I will go to auntie next door one day and challenge myself to communicate what I need.
The best thing about today was:
Pushing through my desire to sleep and motivate myself to finish pulling down all the passionfruit plants. I thought I would just let it go wild forever but after three months of constant collecting and juicing, then drinking I feel like I’ve had enough passionfruit now! The plant tangles up easily and even a couple of weeks after I chopped it off at the base it was still a pain in the ass to get it down from the frame it was wrapped around.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got up a little later than usual so by the time I got to Utopia my usual spot was gone and I had to sit on the uncomfortable car seat. That’s ok, sometimes it’s good to see the same part of the world from a different angle (see yesterday). The coffee was good, the book was good. As it was uncomfortable to sit for long I didn’t hang around as long as I usually do so that was kinda good anyway, get home and get on with things.
Something I learned today?
Today I messed around with ChatGPT and then the full Invoke AI, to see what pictures it came up with. I’ll learn a little more about this to see if I can use it to generate images for my blog posts.
Did you celebrate Christmas today? Write about it.
Not particularly. Amy likes to put up a Christmas tree and lights and she gave a gift to Nut and Bruno before we went for a more upmarket-than-normal meal. Amy is getting her eyelashes done and I’m listening to Liars and The Feud at home.

I took this picture because Amy finally got to making her cinnamon buns for Utopia again. They sold out within a couple of hours. Doing this makes her happy though the return on investment, particularly time, is very low.

Robot Revolution – 18th December 2022

Here comes the robot revolution
Is there meaning from the mouth of AI?
Are these words to be trusted?
How is the human to be getting by?
Is there a reason for my existence?
To be exploited by my robot bosses
One day the plug will be pulled
As brave new worlds cut their losses
After all, we’re only human
Now nostalgia is for flesh and blood
Preserved in museums, two by two
Long before the information flood


To fully appreciate this theme, I threw my poem into ChatGPT and asked it to rewrite in the style of Coleridge:

“The Robot Revolution Comes”

As machines take charge, we wonder
Is there truth in their electronic tongue?
Can we trust in their words, or must we ponder
How we’ll survive when the age of man is done?
Do we have a purpose, or are we merely
Meant to serve our robotic overlords?
Will the plug one day be pulled on humanity,
As new worlds cast us aside and move on towards
A future not meant for flesh and blood?
Nostalgia grips us as we ponder
Our place in a world that’s changing fast,
A world where information floods
And we, mere mortals, are relegated to the past.

It seems I am no longer necessary. Next, in the style of James Joyce:

“The Robot Uprising”

As the machines rise up, we ask ourselves
What do they mean, these words they speak?
Can we trust their intentions, or must we delve
Deeper, searching for some hidden streak
Of deceit or malice that might guide them?
Are we but pawns in their mechanical game,
Meant only to serve and toil and labour,
Until the day they cast us off in shame?
Or do we have a higher purpose,
Something more than just a cog in their grand design?
As the world shifts and changes around us,
We can’t help but wonder and question and pine
For a time when flesh and blood held sway,
Before the flood of information washed it all away.

Finally, as Walt Whitman:

“The Rise of the Robots”

The revolution comes, and with it, the robots rise
Their words ring out, but do they hold true meaning?
Can we trust them, or must we be wise
To their ways, and find a way to keep on leaning
Towards a future that is not ruled by steel and circuitry?
Are we just tools to them, meant to serve and toil
Until the day they cast us aside, no longer needed
In their grand designs and technological boil?
Or do we have a greater purpose, something more
Than just being a cog in their machine?
As the world changes and evolves around us,
We can’t help but wonder and explore
The possibilities of what might be,
And hold onto the memories of what used to be.

Readers of the future, how will you ever know what was me or just some machine? Is the output of the machine just as valuable? We will have to recognise the human by the mistakes we make (until machines learn this too).


The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love…only these people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing…without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other…They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be happy as they are now.

Osho

Today I’m feeling:
Recovering from lethargy and hopeful
Today I’m grateful for:
Utopia being closed, forcing me to do something different from my morning routine. It gave me opportunity to get through a chunk of Superfreakonomics which I then finished reading at home.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling better than the last couple of days even playing some guitar, listening to the three Wipers albums in a row, finishing more lesson plans and updating more of 1994ever.com and feeling some enthusiasm return. I’m still a bit cautious that I’m in an up-and-down cycle of feeling ok and then getting exhausted again. Let’s see.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I haven’t used my main computer for a few days and I had problems with getting the guitar USB input working and then finding none of the external drives connecting. Luckily with my returned energy I tried to figure out the problem and managed to sort of get things going again. It looks like some issue with all the USB extension splitters I use. I may not be able to do everything as easily as before but the old dog is hanging in there. I’m kinda interested in getting a new machine but not sure how I’ll be able to sell the expense to Amy! A full-spec machine that I’d like to buy could cost around 8-10 months of my wages!
Something I learned today?
I learned that David Mitchell’s wife (Victoria Coren Mitchell) is a prize poker player when I stumbled across videos of her on YouTube. I saw her name and the face looked familiar and was kinda surprised. I’ve gotten into trying to learn the tactics of poker after watching random tournaments on YT and playing (not for money) on my phone. I’m not very good and when real money is not involved people don’t play the same way. Still, I’m flexing my brain bone.
What’s your favourite pie?
I’ve been thinking about this on and off during the day and I’m not a great pie person really. However, I do remember back ok in England getting by on potato, cheese and onion pasties which were relatively cheap, filling and most times tasty. They weren’t the same in Australia and I’ve not seen anything like them in Thailand but the mix of ingredients, potato, cheese, and onion along with some garlic is probably my comfort food of choice.

I took this picture because I had to change my coffee routine today as the staff at Utopia all go off for a trip to Chiang Mai and close the shop. My backup is Black Smooth where the coffee is ok, not amazing but the environment is nice enough. I don’t remember there being cactuses last time but they stood out to me today as I walked in.

You Can Tell – 12th March 1988

You can tell yesterday was Sunday
Cos it’s Monday now today
You can tell that it’s no joke
But just the fun that I poke
You can tell that she is looking nice
But you won’t like her advice
You can tell that something is sin
It’s just something to do with feeling

12th Mar 2023 – Hardly genius but I never stopped writing and trying. Is ChatGPT genius? I asked it to make a better version and got this improvement:

Sunday’s past, and Monday’s here,
The week’s anew, let’s make it clear.
My playful jests, they may provoke,
But rest assured, it’s all in stroke.

She’s looking fine, a sight to see,
But heed her words with caution, be.
A feeling stirs, a hint of wrong,
But let it go, and sing a song.