Tag: coffee

The Whys Men – 28th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Kojaked caveman meditating
Declares life is a fountain
No ears received this pronunciation
At the hole in the mountain

Yulled madmen levitating
In boxes across the skies
Searching for any piece of wisdom
To answer the many whys

For fifty years the mystic
Held his arm above his head
Heard the echo from the cave
And suddenly fell down dead

The market stopped a breath
Then continued walking about
The circle of life and death
Is all it’s ever been talking about

Today I’m feeling:

Sick, headache, tired from lack of sleep because my eyes were sore and kept waking me up.

Today I’m grateful for:

The fact that I can take a day off work, go to the hospital, afford medicine and sit inside with the air purifier. I know these are getting repetitive but when I see labourers working outdoors in this pollution I must feel very grateful.

The best thing about today was:

Getting prescribed pseudoephedrine at the hospital for my nose being blocked and irritated and then lorazepam to help me sleep. My body is a medicine cabinet! The pseudoephedrine has put me off eating though. Not sure if I will go back to work tomorrow yet.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I felt like lots of things were out of my control today but just let it go. My health, the air, waiting at the hospital, the medicines provided and then the effects of taking the medicines.

Amy was critical of me wanting to stay here but what can I do right now? I’m here and our cats are here. Yes, this situation sucks and we could change it if we wanted but that would involve us buying a place to live in South Thailand.

Hopefully, this pollution problem goes soon, it’s already better today but I hope it gets fixed properly for the future.

The last couple of years have been really good here. Wherever we go has its good and bad points.

Something I learned today?

Watching Tim Newton talking about Thai news today was interesting as it featured the pollution problem here in the north. Apparently, there were protests at the district office in CR yesterday and there are more people speaking out now about the issue. I’m still doubtful anything will get done quickly or anything substantial but who knows.

What changes am I experiencing right now?

The change from teaching to holiday is fucking me up. I’m getting lazy though other things factor into that too, such as the weather and pollution. I have to find some things to do during this time to keep my brain occupied and body moving.

I took this picture because after finishing at the hospital I went to Utopia for coffee and was presented with this!

Definition – 23rd March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I don’t need attention or money anymore
I’m no longer the person I was before
Staring into the sky, wondering what to be
Scared that I no longer know what is me

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and hopeful though a little tired.

Today I’m grateful for:

A message from my student Aoi to our class chat saying that she missed me (perhaps a little tongue in cheek) and then Jeng said he did too. I’m glad it’s not just me that feels a void after the intensity of the semesters.

The best thing about today was:

Unexpectedly being home by 10 am was pretty sweet, getting to enjoy all the things I enjoy such as reading, grooming our cats, watering the garden, putting together lesson ideas, drinking coffee and playing cards at Daytripper.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got to school late because I knew nothing would really start until around 9 am but then when I got to the hall it was all locked up and no one was around. I went back to our building and found out that we won’t be in the hall again until next week.

Ok, no problem, though I had left all my flashcards that I was making in there. I just hope they are recoverable. I asked Kru Mai what I should do today and he just shrugged and said to start putting together presentations for the next semester, which is what I would be doing whether I was at school or not anyway.

I said cool, no worries and came home! I’m thankful the environment here is flexible in this way, not like at previous schools.

In the afternoon I did start putting together my plans for my classes whilst enjoying coffees at Daytripper. Well, why not?

Something I learned today?

I watched a video advising how best to play barre chords on guitar. I’m still struggling with these and my hand and wrist get tired quickly so I’m looking for all the tips I can get. Want to keep playing, and improve my skill and speed. It’s going to be slow for an old bloke like me.

What is something positive happening in my life right now?

I’m feeling pretty positive about everything at the moment though I’m trying to think of something specific. It’s just me and Cap here in bed, in the aircon and…and what? So long as my brain doesn’t fall into a loop of negative thoughts I consider everything positively. Ok got it. The positive thing happening in my life right now is my thoughts.

I took this picture because I thought this plant had died as all the leaves had curled up brown. I secretly held out hope but there was nothing for six months until a couple of weeks ago, new growth and now the unfurling. Amazing.

Total Victory – 18th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Nothing but total victory will suffice
Is at the heart of democratic advice
Diplomacy is an admission of defeat
Propaganda must make victory complete

Cutting off the head is seen to win
The hearts and minds of those within
Here we go again, history repeated
Total victory has been totally defeated

Today I’m feeling:

Woke up tired after not sleeping until about 1 am as I’d been busy setting up my computer again. Feeling right after coffees!

Today I’m grateful for:

All the people in the world who make it possible for me to get my computer running the way I want. It often involves a little bit of fiddling around to get dodgy bits and pieces of software going but once it’s done I forget about it until the next time I have to rebuild my computer.

The best thing about today was:

I took Cap back to the vet to check his blood and got the all-clear which was good news. Cap talked all the way there and back and was relieved once home again.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy was upset over something that happened with one of her friends and even though I thought I was saying the right thing it wasn’t what she wanted to hear so she hung up the call. Unfortunately, her upset transferred to me and I just felt grumpy after that so I took an afternoon nap which was enjoyable at least.

I still feel a little uninspired and bored after that though. I didn’t feel like playing guitar which I had been looking forward to in the morning. I ended up just playing Xbox for a while and even that felt like a struggle.

Something I learned today?

I learned how to play Dishonored 2 on Xbox. I enjoyed the first game and this one looks good too but my head is just not in the right space at the moment for time wasting like this. That could change in a couple of days though.

What are a few of my favourite wise quotes?

Check out any entries from last year. One every day.

I took this picture because these plants are getting their new leaves. Even the one that looked totally dead has hung on for another year.

Sweet Lips – 13th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A trickster manipulates words
I’ll collect them in my box
Register them with internal affairs
And see what it unlocks

Adding a twist of lemon
They become spat-out sour
More honest than the saccharine
Used to give them power

Everything already said
Is gonna get said once more
A constant strive for meaning
Makes a profit to explore

27th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt – lips

Today I’m feeling:

Calm and relaxed.

Today I’m grateful for:

The delicious perfume of this candle that Amy brought from Australia for me. No matter how much you try to save money when buying perfumed candles the more you spend the better the smell and its lasting effect.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling in a great mood in the morning, chatting with students and spending time with them without any rush, then spending about three hours drinking coffee and updating the blog (1983 diary entries completed) and then back to school again for more chat and some play before shopping and home.

After eating dinner though I’ve run out of steam and ready for bed before the sun has even set.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was excited to get a call from FedEx as it meant they would deliver the SSD I needed which will hopefully upgrade my iMac and get it running again.

Unfortunately, when the delivery guy arrived he needed almost 800 baht in import tax before handing it over, adding another 40 bucks to the cost. What can I do?

I hope this all works in the end otherwise I’ll just have ended up with an expensive SSD drive and still no desktop computer.

Something I learned today?

I’ve made some lessons that require audio input from myself and the students and I went to record this afternoon but it sounds really odd when played back. There’s an option to upload mp3s so that seemed like the way to go except there is no simple way to do that without downloading new software. You can record to m4a files and then hopefully (I haven’t tested yet) can convert them in Apple Music.

I forgot how simple things can be once they’ve been set up, such as I had on my main computer and then just ran and worked forever. Now I’m back to fiddling around again to do this initial setup.

What is something I can do today to improve my well-being?

That would be the exercise I did this morning and the early night I’m about to get this evening so I can catch up on some sleep.

I took this picture because when I got home today I was greeted by this menagerie along with Tangmo and the white and black cat on the terrace. A few others in the village were investigating the herd just outside too. It seems to have grown as I only remember there being five last year though maybe he has smaller herds stashed around the village. My guess is that the aunties next door want the poop and the benefit of the jungle being kept at bay for free. Their vegetable garden is doing very well and none of the land belongs to the aunties or the cowman but it’s all for the common good.

Woke up to thunder, or was it a truck? I couldn’t hear any rain, must’ve been a truck. Wait, there it is again, must be thunder. Where’s the damn rain?
Soon my alarm goes off and even though I’ve only had six hours of sleep and feel a little achy, I’m feeling good and do my little exercises and then, finally, a little rain falls though not enough to mean I don’t need to water the garden still.
It’s still misty and hazy with low clouds too, so it’s difficult to tell if the rain has had much impact on the air quality yet.
I drive to school without rush for a change and hang out with the few kids who still bothered to come, particularly enjoying catching up with my old students, Aon, Aomsin and Wan, who fill me in with the latest classroom gossip.
It’s fascinating to see the changes in these kids over the three years I’ve known them and to get some idea of the direction they would like to head in.
Aomsin told me how the class dynamics had changed and I mentioned another class that were all good friends in grades 7 and 8 and then all split into different factions in grade 9. Aomsin said, ‘Of course because we are all growing up.’ It made me question why, when we grow up, we lose that forgiveness for our friends?

Broken Mind – 12th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Giving in to the
Broken mind
You got me down here

Pinned to the floorboards
Can’t stand up
Falling down again

Every time I rise
With the sun
Comes the clouds and rain

Giving in to the
Medicine
What is normal now?

Today I’m feeling:

Some aching bones but relaxed and positive.

Today I’m grateful for:

My blow-up neck stretcher. I don’t know if it really helps my neck but it does feel like it helps keep it stable and forces me to sit up rather than lie down to read or watch TV. I go through phases of using it and it has felt necessary for the last few days.

The best thing about today was:

Forcing myself out and enjoying sitting at Daytripper and putting together more lessons with Quizizz. It’s making me look a bit more at my lessons to see how to improve them. I don’t like to do work at the weekend but I’m spoiled with actually doing so little work whilst I’m at school during the week!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In my ongoing attempts to counter the smell of cat pee in my mattress, I pulled off all my bedding, shoved it into the washing machine and headed off for my morning caffeine injection.

Waiting for that first cup I checked my phone and found a heavy rain warning for the whole day. Everyone is hoping for rain to crush the poisonous smoke in the air. But will it rain?

It was forecast yesterday too but with nothing eventuating. Just a smoky sky that even the power of the sun was unable to really penetrate.

Either way, today looks like more of the same. I’ll stick the bedding under cover and hope the humidity dries it out by bedtime.

(It’s 8 pm now and there’s been no rain and the hot humid air dried everything before lunchtime. Tomorrow’s forecast is a 90% chance of rain so let’s hope that that comes true!)

Something I learned today?

A piece brokered between Saudi Arabia and Iran by China. Could this be the start of lasting peace spreading around the world or will the USA inevitably stick its nose in to destabilise things for its own gain?

What is a simple delight I have been enjoying lately?

My two bottles of Curcumin C, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, activate my tastebuds in the best possible way.

Talking with Hayden has also been nice the last few times we’ve talked too. He seems a lot more open and not stuck in his head so much.

Yoghurt, muesli, strawberries and of course, coffee.

Our cats, despite the pee issue, make me smile every day somehow.

My students, despite frustrating me to no end, are all also delightful.

Life is pretty good.

I took this picture because I often see this furball sitting here in the beauty shop next door to Utopia. What a beauty but I’m glad I don’t have to deal with all that hair.

A Moment, Please – 9th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Take me to the perfect people party
A room full of fancied dress
Smoke and mirrors cooperate
To make meaning of this mess

This picture painted is a fake
Yet within, contains the essence
Deeper than those apparitions
Chasing love over lessons

The traveller lives in joy
Following rules of thirds
From friends to lovers to art
The meaning is within these words

Today I’m feeling:

Very relaxed! Not many kids were around at school and I told those who asked that we wouldn’t have classes which enabled me a lazy time at House before checking back in with students I could find and then heading home before midday. Chill chill.

Today I’m grateful for:

The girl I met playing cards at Daytripper about ten days ago remembering my name. I remembered her friend’s name and almost got hers right too – she is Panan and I remembered Panon.

I was busy with lesson planning so couldn’t join them this time but hopefully next time. I want to go there more as it feels to be more conducive to me working (blogging, writing, lesson planning) than home.

The best thing about today was:

Talking with Namkhing and Fah about study and what I’m trying to help them achieve. What was memorable was that they told me they prefer to study English more than Thai but then discovering the real reason is that they don’t like any of the Thai teachers because they complain all the time. But then I said that I complain all the time too and they laughed and indicated that that was ok because they didn’t understand what I was saying so much.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There has been nothing to make me feel upset about anything today so the best I can manage, and is a generalisation, is the air quality today and temperature tonight. Handled with the air purifier and aircon. I’m grateful to have these available.

Something I learned today?

In preparation for an event that may occur in the next few years, I watched a video about Marcel Proust. The event will be me reading In Search Of Lost Time.

One of the points the video mentioned about the book was that we barely notice the 1000s of things happening around us each day and that things like art can connect us back to that.

This made me think of my last four years of keeping a gratitude journal and how at times I have to search for something to be grateful for but there is always something new to be found.

Also how my days are relatively uneventful but I am able to find happiness within them. I’m looking forward to reading those books but unsure when I can get to them.

What seems uncertain right now?

Isn’t everything? I don’t mean in a bad or negative way but nothing is certain. One day the sun won’t be coming up, just like yesterday there was no yoghurt at Makro. Everything that I think about is uncertain. It’s not that most things are likely to happen but they could.

I took this picture last month because all our cats enjoy Amy’s old bra box to sleep in. This time it’s Cap and then Kim will usually kick him out and then at other times Tig will steal this spot first.

Pick Up The Gun – 5th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Pick up the gun to provide justification
Rewrite the narratives of provocation
Pick up the gun needed as your defence
For the war to start at your expense

Pick up the gun for hellfire to be rained
The Eagle’s game is easily explained
Pick up the gun, even take a swing
Either way will change something

Pick up the gun, it’s a dragon poke
What’s the plan if failed to provoke?
Put down the gun, desist and cease
Accept the differences for lasting peace

inspired by the titular Bill Hicks routine as a comment on current affairs in geopolitics

Today I’m feeling:

Happy, relaxed and contented.

Today I’m grateful for:

Uncle at the bike repair shop for fixing my flat tyre again. I seem to be here every six months for a new inner tube. He usually pulls some piece of metal out of it. Today I can see the tube has shredded and the tyre is fucked too!

The best thing about today was:

Hanging out with Bruno at Utopia and then Daytripper. His English is getting worse these days as he doesn’t speak much with anyone else apart from me. We talked about a lot of different things and it was good to catch up.

Although I don’t really have any steam to blow off it’s good just to get random thoughts shared with other people. I don’t need to be in people’s business every day and catching up once or twice a month is enough for me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

On the way to Daytripper, I could feel a problem with my back tyre particularly as I went around corners and as we left a little later I could feel it getting worse so I headed off to the petrol station to fill it with air. As it was filling I heard a pop and it wouldn’t fill anymore.

I rode at 5mph back to the uncle near my place who laughed a little when he saw the tyre. He immediately indicated it wasn’t just the tube but the tyre was fucked too, probably from me just riding it there. Ok ok, it’s gotta be fixed.

He got to work and showed the inner tube which had completely split. We laughed.

A few minutes and 600 baht later I was on my way again. It’s been an expensive start to the month. Some things have just got to be done though.

My shirts are waiting one more day to be ironed though!

Something I learned today?

I saw a video suggesting the EU has dropped sanctions against Russia, against the wishes of the USA. I haven’t looked further yet to verify but it comes as a bit of a shock if true.

Really, is this something that was worth learning?

I think I’ve learned something more worthwhile today, something more directly involved with my life. These things are small specks of information and knowledge that accumulate over time into something with a more concrete form.

Chatting with various people picks up random information that may be useless or inconsequential at this moment in time but may build into a deeper understanding of things locally or culturally. Just asking people about other coffee shops to check puts information into knowledge banks. Information that may never be used or one day when riding around I recognise a spot and can say, hmm someone recommended that.

Some useless things may become useful.

World news whilst stimulating may just remain useless.

How do I feel right now?

A little tense in my legs, not sure I will sleep well tonight. I may be tense because I wanted to get my shirts ironed today but I ended up playing guitar instead, knowing I have another free day tomorrow to get at least some of them ironed; although there’s nothing stopping me from doing them all except laziness!

I feel good after talking with Bruno and seeing other people around at Utopia and Daytripper and stimulated enough not to take a nap.

I have a plan for tomorrow. I think I’ll ignore my alarm, grab coffee, come home and iron and then head to Daytripper to do some blogging and lesson planning. I’m hoping perhaps by writing this here I will stick to it!

I took this picture because I thought this plant had long since died. It is one of four in a row that Amy planted a couple of years ago and this one has been missing for the last year or so. Looks like it was busy growing underground until the time was right to show itself again.

Red Skies – 19th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

As the book opens, princesses are yawning
Dead-eyed dogs trudge homeward
Bamboo whistles in the wind
Lulling all with the promise of reprieve
Here at the edges of time
The world diverges for those to clash
Mad deviations keep the wheels greased
For those dogs forever fighting
The red sky denied, turns blue
Filled with the joyful and forlorn
Intermissions inspire reflection
About the dogs that stalk the dark

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and better than yesterday.

Today I’m grateful for:

The Thai teachers around me who were helpful and also amusing. Despite having to ‘work’ all weekend it was interesting enough and time passed by quickly thanks to the pleasant atmosphere.

The best thing about today was:

Finding out about some cool features of some of the tools we were learning today, enough to make me consider paying the small fee to access them. They would help enhance my classes a little.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Not having enough time at home to get all the chores that should have been completed on time. How did I handle it? By doing them, but not on time. It’s not the biggest issue but it means leaving wet washing outside overnight.

Also, I wasn’t able to shampoo Tigger again and he really needs it. I hope to do that on Tuesday afternoon if nothing else comes up.

Although these things are not really in my control I don’t consider them to be that important that they are giving me too much stress. There was a time when I would’ve let these things bother me more.

Something I learned today?

From reading an online post I found out that perhaps Hanoi is comparable to Chiang Mai and HCMC to Bangkok. Armed with that information I think I would prefer northern Vietnam to the south. Not that I wouldn’t want to check it all out for myself.

The writer described Hanoi as more of a collection of villages that have become joined and it is still quick and easy to get out into the mountains and jungles.

How do my thoughts and emotions impact my daily life?

My thoughts need to counter my emotions so I can stay in control. I get better at this though that may be due to avoiding people rather than actual improvement in control!

I took this picture because I knew there weren’t going to be many other chances to take photos today. I dropped into Utopia for my coffee, drinking it quickly but enjoying it immensely. Art gave me a new blend today that was light but zingy.

Together We Rise – 9th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Once again, I was told I was free
That I could be whatever I wanted to be
So I told of the things inside my head
That had filled me full of existential dread

Then I found that so many people didn’t agree
I was called out and threatened constantly
I never thought just because of words I said
Made people so upset they’d want me dead

I realised freedom does not mean free
What’s freedom to you is not so for me
A common line must be towed instead
If you wish to lie in a settled bed

But is it possible for us to agree
That opposition is the end of you and me
We don’t need to succumb to lies we’re fed
Together we can travel the road ahead

2nd Jun 2024 – Submitted to Ragtag Daily Prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Productive if only for household chores. Not sure I’ll be able to stay awake this afternoon.

Today I’m grateful for:

An afternoon cappuccino to keep me awake through the day but hopefully not so much that I can’t sleep tonight. I went out to Daytripper to enjoy it and watch the Kishore Mahbubani online course videos about US-China relations.

The best thing about today was:

A sense of achievement from sweeping up leaves, cutting back some climbing vines, preparing for cleaning off the roof, washing bedclothes, cleaning Kim’s room and getting everything ready for her to spend her nights in here again. I enjoyed doing it all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’m here in Kim’s room writing this and I can see that the fuckin’ ants are out of control. I wonder if this is why the doesn’t like to sit directly on the floor. I sprayed ant killer in one corner of the room where I could see them coming and going but there must be many different colonies here all vying for their pieces of territory and the pull of Kim’s food bowl.

Kim is sitting watching me and wondering what the hell is going on.

Something I learned today?

The US voted no at the UN to make food a human right. They voted no to the Convention of Rights for Persons with Disabilities. No to the Convention on the Rights of the Child and against the resolution ‘combatting Nazism and contemporary forms of racism.’ The US sure likes to be different.

What emotion am I feeling right now?

Lethargy as my body winds down from the activities of the day. My mind though is still busy but that will soon wind down too. I also have a feeling of anticipation looking forward to jumping into bed with fresh clean sheets. My body is already experiencing the sensation, I’m looking forward to it that much.

I took this picture because new sheets, new sleeps. Almost summer.

Ritual Of Panic – 6th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s no rest for the wicked
And no rest for those of virtue
Adrift in a world that never sleeps
The feeling of dread is gonna get you

Gasps of dismay at faint sleights
A skin now brittle and thin
This ritual of panic has become
The default state to be in

Today I’m feeling:

Relaxed as no classes today but maybe too relaxed as I’m sleepy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The wide variety of food available especially on market days like today. I got some deep-fried fish with riceberry rice and chopped unripe mango covered with chilli fish sauce. My mouth is watering as I’m writing this!

The best thing about today was:

Sitting in House for 3 hours drinking coffee and adding blog entries, finishing off the old diary with my gig list.

Tomorrow I start adding 1983 entries and consider figuring out other gigs I went to after 1992 which is when I stopped writing them down.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing has needed to be completely in my control today. It has passed by reasonably uneventfully!

Something I learned today?

The French live 6 years longer than Americans on average and work fewer hours and produce one-third more than the British. I’m not sure how this was calculated, or even true, but I’m siding with the French against my own birthplace!

What do you think gets better with age?

I’m going to treat this as what gets better as I age and that is wisdom. As it should. There’s something wrong if you are not getting wiser.

I took this picture because the dry winter has ignited a growth spurt in our cactuses. They are going crazy.

The weekend disappeared in some kind of rush of nothing in particular.
Domestication took over as I cleaned up around the house as Aing and Now arrived on Sunday morning and I should at least make everything presentable somehow.
And the biggest chore at the moment is watering the garden daily as it is so dry.
Amazing how quickly months and months of rain can disappear even in winter.
I happily received a nice online order with the release of the Ad Interim album and anticipating another release from a cool band from Istanbul that approached me recently.
And, in my endless search for interesting music, I found a band called Focusrights whom I felt immediately compelled to contact though they weren’t able to commit to anything.
I still get off on the feeling of discovery of music that gets my heart pumping.